Charlatan

Your butt?

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

PonyPotato

blah

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

ASU2003

Are you taking any allergy medcine or any other drugs that might prevent 'normal' fluid production?

raeanna74

FYI, for you ladies, there are over the counter DAILY lube products. It helps keep everything healthy down there if you happen to be lacking in lubrication on a regular basis.

Personally I've seen that BC makes a big difference in my normal lubrication. Without BC I have no issues but on BC I almost always need additional lube. Also I've noticed that if I'm not drinking enough water I will be drier down there.

As for who handles the lubrication, neither of us worries about making sure we have enough foreplay to make sure I'm wet (since it doesn't always happen). We just have as much foreplay as we both want and if things aren't wet, spit works ok. For longer sessions, whoever can reach the lube the fastest is the one who does the lubing up. Not much THOUGHT goes into the lubing up since the brain cells have migrated south by then.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

abaya

Answering ASU2003 as well... Yeah, BC is the only medication I'm on, and we all know it's a doozy for all things sexual. I've been on it since the second month after I started having sex (and the first month was all condoms and I was rather dry, given that I was still a bit nervous and getting used to sex in general, so I don't even know what my "normal" wetness is like without BC). And I am pretty bad about daily water intake, as I mentioned earlier... I think it's one of the factors for why I don't get wet all the time.

Thing is though, some of you mention that some women just don't get wet, while others soak themselves... and the weird thing is, I'm right in between. I've always had a lot of vaginal discharge ever since puberty, all throughout the day... but when it comes to sex, it's a hit-and-miss thing. But if my man has been going down on me for a long time and I have an orgasm, then I'm definitely all wet. So it's there, but just not when I want it to be.

Also wanted to say that I agree with ng. I think ktspktsp would just appreciate if I was reaching for the lube/trying to get myself wet now and then, instead of depending on him to do all the work. I don't know why women expect men to do it all for them?... or why men seem to take it as a "pride" thing?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

madp

Oral sex should be liberally applied between every change in position. . .kind of like sorbet between courses of a meal.

__________________
why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

canuckguy

that was awesome!


my lady loves to give it when changing positions, absolutely love that....wow


we always keep lube by the bed at the ready. I think we both would rather not have to use it, but it has become routine in use.

abaya

Oral sex between every change in position?! Holy crap, are you all having sex for 45 minutes every night of the week, regardless of work hours, making dinner, children, going to the gym, housecleaning, and all the rest?? During the week, we take maybe 10 minutes, 15 tops, and we don't even have kids yet... how do you all find the time and energy?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Plan9

Hey, she can still flip the chicken while I'm making killing-the-crotch-vampire thrusts.

You gotta make time for the sex.

...


This is also why nothing gets done on the weekends most of the time.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

abaya

Well, yeah. We don't have problems on the weekends (you should have seen us when we were long-distance, when weekends were ALL we had... I think sometimes, we just didn't leave the house the whole time)... you know how it goes.

But on the weeknights, yeah... we're wiped out as it is, and sex needs effort if it's going to be worth having... but we still like to have sex often, instead of delaying it until the weekend. I just don't see how we can stretch it out into a position-twisting, oral-giving session every single time, during the week... but maybe I'm missing something.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Eowyn_Vala

For me it depends on when, where, how long it's been, ect. Most of the time - I'd say about 60% of the time I get really wet with just the kissing and foreplay. Then another 20% is when I hit the extreme, that no matter how horny I am or what is done, I stay dry - lube is used here very liberally and it's whoever gets to it first. And the last 20% is when I'm so horny all the person has to do is one thing: kiss me, bite my neck, or something similar and it's like a flood gate.

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

madp

Well, if natural lubrication is an issue, maybe you're rushing it too much?
I mean, a quickly every now-and-then is cool, but 20 minutes to wrestle around a little and try out a few favorite angles isn't too much is it? It's still, moderately speaking, a quicky.

__________________
why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

cadre

Trust me, I know what you mean. And you're not alone.

I personally have been having issues with getting wet and staying wet recently and I've attributed that to stress, exhaustion, and all that fun stuff. Also my boyfriend has gotten on a lazy kick where many times he won't be into foreplay which means it's all my job to get myself ready (which is okay..sometimes but after a while it's annoying). I've just been keeping lube by the bed and hoping that eventually my explanation that I pretty much always need foreplay now will get through my boyfriend's head.

"I'm not a teenager anymore ya know?"

Anyways, during the week we definitely do not make time for long sessions most of the time and I really don't think you could every single time. My suggestion would just be to find a balance that works for you and go with that. Besides, maybe he likes the job of lubing?

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

mixedmedia

It depends.

When we haven't seen each other in a long time, I'm generally pretty wet even before I get my jeans off because I've been thinking about it all day.

But as time progresses, like after the fifth or sixth time (), sometimes I can be in the need of a little lubrication to get us started. In which case, we will actually use lube (whoever's closest to the bottle does the deed), he will go down on me or I will use my own saliva. Doesn't matter, 'cause once he starts fucking me I'm down for the count. God, I love fucking.

I attribute occasional dryness to my age (42), because it's certainly not due to lack of titillation, lol.

On an odd note, when we got together last weekend, the first night...the first time we fucked...I got wetter than I ever have in my entire life. I don't know what happened. I was, like, sopping wet. Like we were fucking in the middle of a rain storm, lol. That has never happened before and it was both weird and wonderful.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Prince

It seems to me that sometimes a woman can get excited faster than she will actually get wet.

If my dick doesn't slide in comfortably without some lube, I'll grab the lube from the dresser and apply some. Simple enough. There's never been any need to analyze or discuss the subject further.

As long as both parties are excited and wanting to fuck, the lube issue is a non-issue. If you need it, apply it. If not, don't.

In my view it only becomes something requiring discussion if it becomes a physical or psychological problem.

---

I will say this though: there is no better way to get a woman wet than cunnilingus. It just gets the juices going.

__________________
Who is John Galt?

Shaindra

Preach to the choir, brother!

OK, not the clinical answer. A woman's wetness is only partially related to her arousal. In pre-menopausal women, it's very related to where they are in their cycle, peaking at ovulation when most women produce copious amounts of natural lubrication even when not aroused.

Some women get very wet inside, but for some reason this wetness stays inside unless she opens up.

And some women just don't get very wet, even when they're excited. Lube (natural or artificial) is not a sign of failure. If both parties are happy with it, pass the Astro-glide!

As in all things sex, the only right answer is the one that has both parties grinning and sated.

__________________
"Never regret something that once made you smile."

starburst

Even with considerable foreplay (which I love and long for), my body does not produce a large amount of lubricant. Additionally, clitoral contact is necessary for me to achieve an orgasm; I have never had a pure vaginal orgasm, even masturbating myself. I like to use K-Y Jelly and enjoy having the entrance to my vagina and clitoris well lubricated, as well as my nipples. Throughout the hours before actually having sex, I love foreplay, teasing, fantasizing and being “loved up”.

My husband feels foreplay, applying lubricants, manually stimulating my clit with a vibrator or my fingers is a reflection on his sexual prowess. He becomes quite irked, if I try to touch myself during sex to trigger an orgasm. He does not object to my masturbating, but not if we intend to have sex later. In sexual matters, he is very heavy into dominating me and compelling my body to endure increasing amounts of pain and physical stress. I feel, as one member suggested, that he spends a lot of time on the internet viewing BDSM and then expects me to make his fantasies a reality.

On another TFP forum, many members forcefully (my husband would love the use of that word, but not the advice) counseled me to end his sexual domination of me and the infliction of excessive pain. I love him, but realize how I have been used and am determined to rebuild our sex life. He treats me as an equal and does not dominate me, except in our sexual relations. In my eagerness to please him, I have lost the mutual love and gratification that sex should provide. This is our third day without sex and I must summon the courage to frankly resolve this with him.

Sad to say, the best sex I ever had was with a g/f. We spent an afternoon kissing, caressing and preparing our bodies. She was so skilled in “reading” the responses of my body and continued to give it more of what it responded to. She slowly walked my body down the long pathway to orgasm. She teased and made me wait until my body became so eager, it seemed to pursue her fingers. With lots of lubricant, she finally allowed her fingers to perform a ballet on my yearning clitoris.

Just a wonderful experience; now, if I could only be my husband’s lover instead of his submissive.