starburst

Even with considerable foreplay (which I love and long for), my body does not produce a large amount of lubricant. Additionally, clitoral contact is necessary for me to achieve an orgasm; I have never had a pure vaginal orgasm, even masturbating myself. I like to use K-Y Jelly and enjoy having the entrance to my vagina and clitoris well lubricated, as well as my nipples. Throughout the hours before actually having sex, I love foreplay, teasing, fantasizing and being “loved up”.

My husband feels foreplay, applying lubricants, manually stimulating my clit with a vibrator or my fingers is a reflection on his sexual prowess. He becomes quite irked, if I try to touch myself during sex to trigger an orgasm. He does not object to my masturbating, but not if we intend to have sex later. In sexual matters, he is very heavy into dominating me and compelling my body to endure increasing amounts of pain and physical stress. I feel, as one member suggested, that he spends a lot of time on the internet viewing BDSM and then expects me to make his fantasies a reality.

On another TFP forum, many members forcefully (my husband would love the use of that word, but not the advice) counseled me to end his sexual domination of me and the infliction of excessive pain. I love him, but realize how I have been used and am determined to rebuild our sex life. He treats me as an equal and does not dominate me, except in our sexual relations. In my eagerness to please him, I have lost the mutual love and gratification that sex should provide. This is our third day without sex and I must summon the courage to frankly resolve this with him.

Sad to say, the best sex I ever had was with a g/f. We spent an afternoon kissing, caressing and preparing our bodies. She was so skilled in “reading” the responses of my body and continued to give it more of what it responded to. She slowly walked my body down the long pathway to orgasm. She teased and made me wait until my body became so eager, it seemed to pursue her fingers. With lots of lubricant, she finally allowed her fingers to perform a ballet on my yearning clitoris.

Just a wonderful experience; now, if I could only be my husband’s lover instead of his submissive.