Miss Mango

I dont think I could date anyone that had an STD that couldnt be treated, if I planned on being sexually active with them. Simply because there is always that small chance. My mom got cervical cancer and cancer of the womb because my dad had been with a lot of previous partners...and its always made me weary of such things.

Also anyone of us could have Herpes Type I and not know it. Just thought Id throw that in the mix!

Willravel

STDs can be a sign of immaturity. At least that's how I justify my answer: No, I'd not date someone with an STD.

I get tested and so does she before we're sexually active. That's it.

World's King

After getting out of jail for assault with a blunt object...


I'd break up with them. Post all naked pics that I had of them on the internet. Fuck their best friend. Fuck another best friend.


But that's just me. I'm a sensitive guy.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

james t kirk

Careful,

The link between cervical cancer and her male partner is not the issue of the number of his previous sexual partners, it's HPV.

HPV is present in virtually every case of cervical cancer, though having HPV certainly does not mean that you are going to get cervical cancer by any means. There is a link however.

Keep in mind that 80% of the population carries the HP virus, it is very common and you are almost guaranteed to contract it in your lifetime. You could have sex with 1 person and you are exposed to it.

Hence the need for the vacine that is coming to the market just now (and remarkably, there is debate about whether young girls should receive this vacine from the religious whackos out there.)

blahblah454

My thoughts exactly. I broke up with my last girlfriend before we got sexually active because she refused to go get tested.

Willravel

It's kinda like saying: "Keeping the secret of how sexually active I am is more important to me than your safety." People like that don't deserve me (or any one else).

Ustwo

Men used to carry a condom in their wallet, now they carry a print out of their last STD results, signed and notarized.

Mmm let me go back in time when I met Mrs. Ustwo, and mind you this was in the height of the AIDS scare.........

Lets see shes 18, naked, and wants me, and I say 'Baby, not until you get tested, its about trust.'.

Mmmm nope can't see that one happening.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

cadre

Well, I suppose the answer would depend a lot on the situation. If I were to find out now that my boyfriend gave me an std then I would be very disappointed but I probably wouldn't break up with him if it was something that happened way back when and he didn't even know. Though, he was a virgin when I met him so I don't see that happening anyways.

I think there's a gray area with this though because there are many people that catch STDs without sexual contact and I wouldn't feel right punishing someone for that. Hell, I don't think I'd feel right punishing anyone for having something as hard to deal with as an STD. Unless of course, they knew their partner had it and weren't safe.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Plan9

I would like to think that I'd do the test thing with them before I go spelunking in the crotch cave of love.

If I discovered one? Damage control ASAP. Fix the medical aspect first... then deal with the relationship afterwards. STDs are a great way to discover infidelity.

Too bad we don't live in the Cretaceous period anymore.

...

STDs are a huge scare for society today and rightly so: AIDS is a nightmare.

I'd rather just make out with a girl and do the mutual masturbation thing instead of sticking my dick in a biological bear trap.

Condoms? Sure. They're reasonably reliable. Too bad I don't often trust something that costs $5.79 a box with the rest of my life.

Nobody ever got an STD from sucking on boobs.

...

Get tested, people. It's good for your soul. And your crotch.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ustwo

Yes is a giant scare today but one I think is vastly over rated, its the shark attack syndrome.

Lets take that nightmare of aids and me with my 18 year old girlfriend back in the Precambrian. I'll even use todays numbers which are higher, and from the CDC.

As of 2005 there were 5,289 total aids cases between the ages of 15-19 in the US.
Its approximately a 7-1 ratio in aids cases of male to female numbers wise.
Its about a 3-1 ratio of non-white to white.
In a very low risk group in terms of socioeconomic factors.



Sure she could have been one of the estimated 251 white females in that age group with aids, which is high since shes wasn't 15, 16, 17, or 19. The chance of me running into one of those 15-19 year old with aids would be .0025%.

Again that doesn't count socio-economic factors, and thats just those who HAVE it, we are going to assume that those who know and are sexually active or dont' know to be even lower.

No, I don't think AIDS was a good reason, or is a good reason for an STD test among any woman I'd be likely to have sex with.

The only one that would worry me is HSV-2 and thats not fatal, just really annoying.

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Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Plan9

Stats are cute, but have you seen the things I've put my wang in?



...

HSV-2 is what I'm REALLY afraid of... "There is no cure for genital herpes."

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

AIDS would be my big fear, but herpes is on the list.

Plan9

Don't be afraid, Will. Statistics suggest it'll NEVER happen to you. Hell, you can practically plan your life around it! Like heart attacks or carjackings.

/humor

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

World's King

Oddly neither of those are a fear for me. Knocking up a girl is at the top of my list.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

Willravel

Don't you wrap your shit up? Isn't she on the pill? Spermacide? Sponge? Injections? I mean this is easy. Combine 3 or more prophylactics and you're sound as a pound.

World's King

Let me rephrase...

I used to worry about that. When I was a man-whore. And more often then not had sex while drunk...


Now that I've been with the same girl for 3 years and have no plans of sleeping with anyone else... I don't worry about anything.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

Jenna

I would have a hard time getting into a relationship with someone who has AIDS/HIV or Herpes, any non curable STI. A really hard time... I actually don't think I could. I would hope the person would be honest with me before the start of the relationship.

If I was with someone, and they found out they had herpes (or any other STI that is non detectable until break-outs), that would be a different story. For instance, if I found out that my boyfriend as of now, who I've been dating for 3 years, has herpes, I'd be infected as well. I would stay with him.

We've both been tested on more than one occasion, but hypothetically.

I'm still young and before I didn't even think of these things. I'm very lucky to be STI free... I asked my guy now to get tested when we first started dating, but it took him awhile too. I would be VERY upset if he had waited and actually had AIDS/HIV, etc. But then again, it would be my fault for letting it go on without demanding such a thing.

Kpax

Isn't herpes type I just the common cold sore? If they have the type that appears in the crotch area, I might think twice.

ratbastid

I think, Ustwo, that the 5289 you're citing is newly reported cases in 2005. I don't think it's accurate to say that's everyone in that age group who has the disease. I could be mistaken about that, but I'd be interested to see your CDC source.

Even so, the odds of AIDS being transmitted from a woman to a man are relatively low. Most new cases are women being sexually infected by men, or men being infected through blood contact (needles, etc.). Not all, but most.

On the other hand, since it's a gamble, you could look a it as a gambling problem. The odds are low, but the risk is death (or was, back then). Any decent gambler knows, you don't make the bet that would take you out of the game if you lost it, no matter what the odds.

Ustwo

No that was total cases, newly reported was 447.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm

The place were I had to play with ratios is where something may be off since they only give ratios for the whole group, not by age in the report.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Jenna

I'm not an expert but I think that Herpes Simplex (which is probably not the right name) is the common version that end up with cold sores on your mouth, and that type of herpes cannot be spread to the genitals. However, genital Herpes can be spread to the mouth OR the genitals.

Ustwo

The herpes info presented in the thread is inncorrect.

Hsv-1 can be oral or genital. Normaly mild on genitals with rare recurrances.

Hsv-2 mostly genital, more frequent outbreaks, more severe discomfort on avg.

No time for more detail.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

vanblah

I've dated two women with genital herpes. Both of them were very forthcoming and honest before we became sexually active. I used a condom every time I had sex.

10+ years later I am still STD free.

Lying about an STD is different ... but if someone is honest about it up front then it should be no impedement to your relationship. Something as serious as HIV may put a serious cramp in things though.

james t kirk

Yeah, I'm all for responsible sexuality, but sometimes, it just goes right out the window.

I know a young woman who is very sexual. She once told me a story about how during one heated sexual romp, the condom broke. (It was a one night stand in Whistler.) She went to the doctor that week all scared that she had possibly contracted HIV and he looked at her and said, "I know this is politically incorrect, but you have better odds of getting hit by a bus leaving this clinic."

I have been tested. As Chris Rock will tell you, the wait period is always a time for reflection.

One interesting note.

I go to the Hassle Free Clinic in Toronto for HIV and STD testing. They are in boystown in downtown T.O. They've seen it all, and they certainly don't judge. The place is all about sexual health and it's very well run.

Anyway, when it comes to HIV testing, there is 2 things they ask you.

1. When was you last unprotected intercourse? If it's less than 3 months, you have to wait till the 3 months are up, otherwise, the results are not accurate.

2. When was your last HIV test? If it was within the last 2 years, and you have not been engaging in any "high risk" behaviour - male male anal sex, sharing needles, then you should wait 2 years because you are needlessly testing.

From what the people there tell me, they are bombarded by people getting "over tested". People starting another relationship being the main one. It's become a real issue for them and they are swamped to the point that they can not deliver the services to higher risk crowd due to lack of time and resources.

If you're a straight male, and you're doing your third test this year because you're onto your third new girlfriend, they are going to tell you to take a hike.

Believe me, or believe the link:

http://www.hasslefreeclinic.org/HIVPolicy.html

If you're a straight male, I'd pipe in that you have those backwards.

Willravel

It's been a long time since I've come across someone who thought the disease was more prevalent in homosexuals.

jewels

I'm truly shocked that a medical professional would say something like this. I don't have stats on the odds, but when you're exponentially and literally fucking with others' lives, that's not politically incorrect, it's morally reprehensible.

What an irrelevant question. How many women have been unknowingly sleeping with men who have had gay relationships or women that didn't know they had AIDS? Or vice versa? Please don't take this lightly. The gay population is more aware and protective than the straight population, whose numbers are and have been on the rise.

Annoy the clinics and get overtested. I know too many, straight and gay, that have already gone, and others who live with it from day to day.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Plan9

Oh, good... I'm not the only one.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ustwo

You know will being a liberal is great and all, but time to face reality when it comes to health.

Aids is more prevalent in homosexual males.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/survei...c.htm#exposure

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Willravel

Your statistics are outdated. Until 2007 statistics are available what you say was true but is not necessarily true in the present. You'll notice a trend of the difference between AIDS in gay men and heterosexuals sharply falls off and has continued to decrease for the past 20 years. If trends continue, which is not unreasonable, heterosexual cases of AIDS in the Western World will have become more common than homosexual cases.

But hey, I'm a liberal so I must assume everything I know.

Strange Famous

I am loathe to defend Ustwo, as I think much of what he believes is the worst of things.

But he is talking of the way things are.

You are speaking of what will be the case if current trends continue for an undefined time.

But of course, what james t kirk says is framed in a way not to state fact, but prejudice.... and should be criticised And the statement that an HIV test can only be given after 3 months is totally factually false. Tests can be done immediately that are far over 99% accurate.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

blahblah454

I am not scared of aids, aids really isnt in North America a whole lot. Its all those other 96 (or whatever the number is) STD's that are out there. No thanks, I dont want to get one so I make sure the people I am sleeping with don't have one. Easy as that

james t kirk

I think he was putting into perspective for her.

Well, according to this link, your odds of contracting HIV in a hetrosexual encounter are about 1 in 5 million.

You have better odds of getting stung to death by bees.

I'm not saying not to be careful, but I am saying that you need to keep things in perspective.

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_373.html





No, you should not be annoying the clinics. They are there to do a job and they can't do that job if every little straight girl or boy is in there every 2 months because they want to have sex with someone new and they want their papers.

It's ironic that the message about HIV has definitely gotten out there, but one of the byproducts of that message is that people who have almost 0 chance of having HIV are clogging up the clinics so badly that the people who truly do have a higher chance of contracting HIV can't get in the door.

Look buddy,

Here's a little fill in for you (with all due respect)

Toronto has the second highest gay population in North America next to San Franciso.

The Hassle Free Clinic is THEE source on HIV testing in a city of 5 million people.

If they say that it takes 3 months to get a reliable reading on an HIV infection, I'm going to put my faith in them.

Since you obviously didn't click on my link, I'll excerpt it for you to make it clear where my statements are coming from (based on my own testing experience at HF.)

HFC always attempts to accommodate as many people as possible. However, because of the ever increasing demand, it is our policy to screen individuals requesting an HIV appointment to limit the number of unnecessary tests, especially for individuals who are at no or low risk for HIV transmission, and those who repeat their tests too often. Moreover, some clients are unaware of the window period for HIV testing.

To ensure the test is accurate, individuals are encouraged to wait three months after the last high-risk sexual encounter (anal or vaginal intercourse without a condom, condom breakage, shared sex toy or needle contact). Screening is conducted by trained personnel in as general a way as possible so as not to intrude on the client’s confidentiality. As many clients are unaware of the high-risk activities for HIV transmission and the window period, the screening process can be a useful educational process.

We encourage annual testing for individuals who are sexually active. People who have had no unprotected penetrative sex or only engage in low-risk sexual activities (such as oral sex) may not require as frequent testing. Individuals who may still have concerns and would like to get tested are encouraged to test with their doctor, or at any of the other anonymous testing sites.

Here's the link.....

http://www.hasslefreeclinic.org/HIVPolicy.html

Now, it may be that in the UK, there is some more sophisticated test than the nation of Canada is aware of. That might be true. (But I doubt it.)

Ustwo

No, its perfectly acceptable. The deed has already been done, the woman is panicky scared by all the aids hype, the doctor told her the TRUTH, which is she has a very very low chance of getting aids from that encounter. Keeping her scared and panicked is not going to help her in any way, but giving her a sense of perspective is.

No you just ignore facts you don't like for some reason, the fact that its been a long time since someone you knew said this shows me either you don't talk about it or hang around a PC crowd. Nothing that major has changed in the last two years, I'm sorry will but thats how it is. Even if not a single homosexual male has contracted aids in the US in the last two years by some magical means, the prevalence will still be much higher in homosexual males.

If I were a homosexual male I would be in the STD test before sex camp like you, but being a heterosexual white male who only has had sex with white females in the middle/upper middle class in the last 16 years I don't feel aids is a threat I need to worry about very much.

If it makes you feel better, I would generally rather have a live rabid weasel in my pants than live in your world too.

I do appreciate though that you can see the truth now and then though

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Strange Famous

well, people at extremes often agree in their view of people in the middle.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Willravel

So what are you refuting? The fact that the stats you provided are 2 years old or the fact that AIDS is on the rise in heterosexuals faster than with homosexuals, making the gap smaller and smaller? The difference back in 2005 was only a few thousand people.

Strange Famous

maybe his view is based on the fact that heterosexuals outnumber homosexuals 10/1 (at least, and probably 30/1), and that you - Will- are deliberately misrepresenting the statistics?

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Willravel

There's no misrepresentation. According to Ustwo's link, in 2005 in the US there were 17,230 cases of homosexual males having AIDS and 12,388 cases of heterosexuals having AIDS. That's total cases, not how many people contracted it that year. That information, which would be illuminating to this discussion, is sadly missing.

The relevant question is: who is more likely to contract AIDS today, a homosexual or heterosexual? That answer isn't provided by his link. Some people live over 20 years with AIDS, which means the people in the groups of 17,230 and 12,388 may have gotten AIDS many years ago, when it most certainly was more prevalent among homosexuals.

I hope that makes it more clear.

dirtyrascal7

Total number of cases doesn't really tell you much in regard to who is more likely to contract AIDS today. What you need are the percentages of infected people in the respective populations... if we're talking about a heterosexual male vs. homosexual male, those populations would be homosexual males and heterosexual females.

I don't have those numbers, but like Ustwo, I would feel far safer playing around in the hetero-female camp than the homo-male camp.

__________________
"Tie yourself to your limitless potential, rather than your limiting past."

"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."

jewels

Well, let me think. The "expert" site you cite answers a question in 1988. Let me see if my tiny mind can handle the math. Would that be 19 years ago? Somehow I doubt that response would be even close to valid today.

Back at'cha: I am saying be careful, and I am saying that you need to keep things in perspective.

It is their job to make sure these men and women, of any sexual persuasion, race or nationality, can have their papers. If the limitation is three months, I don't have issue with that.

Huh? Are you rolling up your sleeves or something?

Wrong assumption. Still doesn't make what your doctor said correct. You can go to the best school out there, but if your teacher sucks, you may not learn.

EDIT: All I ever wanted to get across was that the heterosexual stats have been rising, thus risk rises also, and although he may want to soothe you while you await results, he has no business insinuating that it's a gay disease. No matter how "low" the risk is, people often don't know they have it by the time they've spread it to multiple partners and their partners, etc.

If you want the facts about transmittal and the real numbers, try unaids.org. Lots of PDFs that just came out and are difficult to sift through. But Western European stats amongst heterosexuals is specified as on the rise. New infections as of 2007 are 2.5 million, with 33 million that are currently (reported) living with AIDS.

I don't want to argue about how many tests one should or shouldn't take. If the risk of getting hit by a bus is only 1:100,000, would you run in front of a bus to see what happens? I'd rather see people overly cautious, caring enough about their partners not to take any risk whatsoever, than to say "odds are it'll never happen to me."

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

james t kirk

^^^^

Your odds of dying from cancer are approximately 1 in 2.

Think about that for a moment.

My odds of contracting HIV through heterosexual contact are almost 0 (though not quite, like all things in life, sex, eating a hamburger, wind surfing, etc. carries risk).

The US gov't pours 23 billion a year into AIDS related issues. It pours only 5 billion into cancer research. Again, not saying not to protect yourself, however, the hysteria around AIDS is way out of proportion. Statistically speaking, it's hard to explain.

AIDS Funding:

http://www.kaiserfamilyfoundation.or...ad/7029-03.pdf

Cancer Funding:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/relea...0020918-5.html

The Hassle Free Clinic is screening its users to avoid unecessary over-testing. You might think that by getting tested every time you want to have sex with someone new makes perfect sense to you, and you are being responsible, however, the fact is is that if you are engaging in low risk sexual activity, you are wasting valuable resources and you are ironically being irresponsible. At the Hassle Free, they know this. You call to make an appointment, they ask you on the PHONE -how long since your last unprotected intercourse and how long since your last test?

If it's been less than 3 months since the last time you went in bare back, they tell you to wait. If you are a straight male and only engaging in heterosexual contact, and you have had a test in the last 2 years, they tell you to wait because quite simply they KNOW that as a hetero male, you don't have HIV. They have more urgent demands to attend to other than giving you your next bare back action card for that new little girl you've been trying to get under the covers with.