Ustwo

Back in college, someone once said 'its all the same when the lights are out'.

I didn't think so at the time and I still don't.

Now obviously there are limits. A 10 who acts like a corpse or a 1 who thinks the karma sutra is for noobs won't work either way. Somewhere there is a middle ground between the two where I'd be happy, but looks still play a big part of the whole thing. Of course its my perception of it, but being sex is mental to such a high degree I can't worry about that.

Funny thing about getting older though, is you stop looking at their daughters and start looking more at the moms

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Plan9

Will,

Has anybody ever told you how cuddly you are?

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Willravel

Ustwo does in so many words every day. He's a teddy bear underneath the surface.

mixedmedia

He's just using you.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Willravel

....which of us is the 10, though?

Ustwo

You have sleep in the wet spot, draw your own conclusions.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Plan9

(ignores WillRavel / UsTwo swordfight)

I once had a wonderful fling with a pale white girl in a cheetah print bikini.

God, that thing was wretched. She was a tiger in the sack, though.

...

Cheetah print = dealbreaker in long term relationships.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

skier

This is a really silly attitude to take. Do you feel that a physically attractive person has less personality or confidence or presence or whatever "it" factor you think they need to make a connection with you?


It wouldn't make any sense to seek out someone physically "ugly" because they may have a great personality. Someone pretty is just as likely to be a great person as someone ugly. Less likely to be insecure, to boot. People don't wear their personality on their sleeve. You gotta talk to em first before you can make that sort of connection and learn what kind of person they are.

You start with that superficial, physical connection. A recognition that the person you see is physically attractive to you, and you go talk to them to learn the deeper, more significant traits in personality you find attractive.


Anyway, on topic:

Every single guy i've known has dipped below their usual standards when it's been a long time since they've fucked (had a physical connection?) a woman. It's really not an altruistic act, although the OP tries to make the argument. Both parties are working towards the same goal, the male having to reduce his standard of quality to get quantity (even if that is 1 vs. 0).

IMO, it's a role reversal, although the guy acts like a really promiscuous girl in this situation- he gets to be the chooser, instead of the choice. The woman in this situation needs to communicate other qualities attractive to a casual sex hookup; sexual freedom, willingness to experiment, a desire to please, free of disease, etc.

The relationship between two individuals looking for a one night stand or casual sex is largely centered around physical wants and needs. They are not looking for more, and the girl having a great personality would matter little to how much they enjoyed the sex.

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

Plan9

And, uh, where does this happen regularly?

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

skier

Bars, nightclubs, pubs, the gym, grocery stores, malls, coffee shops, conferences

pretty much any place people gather?

__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

mixedmedia

Who said I seek out a person who is ugly? I'm simply saying that looks do not matter to me. Big difference there.

You start with a superficial attraction. Myself, I am attracted to more subtle qualities.

And I've known plenty of men who are physically 'unattractive' who have self-confidence.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Hyacinthe

This I disagree with entirely. I don't care how good looking a guy is if he's crap in bed he's crap in bed, doesn't matter if he's Tom Cruise or Barney the Dinosaur (well assuming Barney was anatomically correct) a bad shag is a bad shag.

For me attractiveness is defined by so much more them a persons physical appearance, sure I am not going to complain if the guy fits MY definition of attractiveness but sometimes a guy I find aesthetically pleasing will touch me and I feel nothing. Even worse is when I'll kiss a guy I know intellectually I should find appealing and all I feel is nauseous.

I'm not sure exactly why that's true but it is.

Other times a guy I would not be attracted to visually will touch me, even something as simple as a hand on the small of my back and my entire body breaks out in goosebumps. I've had kisses that make my knees go weak from guys that I'd never really thought of as attractive before.

But as I said I don't know what it is about these people that allows them to have so little or so great a reaction from me on a purely physical level.

I'm not saying women are better then men or men are better then women in this case because I know people from both genders that are able to base a decision on whether or not to be intimate with a person purely on the persons phsyical appearance but for me (and maybe mixedmedia from her response to this) sex is a very special time. I let all my barriers down, let myself be completely consumed by the moment, I end up feeling vulnerable and invinceable all at once. I don't think I could share that with someone I did not feel a genuine attraction or affection of some kind for.

I will admit I hate the habit guys have of 'rating' women though, I've never heard my female friends do that, with us the guy is either hot or not. None of this 1 - 10 business.

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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

MrFriendly

I certainly understand why women take offense to it. It is a little dehumanizing. But men a very visual creatures, especially when it comes to women. But don't despair because we all have different tastes. A classic example is at the moment there is a battle royal going on between my colleague and I over Janis Joplin. He thinks she's the ugliest thing to ever grace the planet, where as I really don't think she's all that bad, and c'mon, it's Janis, as if you wouldn't hit that back in the day.

I've never really had a rating system as such.

I have to catch Melbourne public transport, I can tell you now, I see all kinds and varieties on the trams and trains. There's girls I think are cute, are pretty, are average, then there are the girls I think "I'd totally hit that", or "I'd love to wake up next to that"............... And ever once in a while, there will be a lass who is be no definition hot, be carries herself in such a way and has a certain kind of energy about her that just drives me totally wild.


Now, having said all that, on far too many occasions though, I have seen a young girl on the train, thought "My god, she's some sort of godess", only to hear her open her mouth and say something in the most piercing and offensive of bogan voices and instantly though "oh fuck no, not in a million years, I don't care how good looking she is"

God I hate bogans, I really, really do.

Bogans for those of you who don't know, are Australia's version of uneducated filthy trailer trash.

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You are not a slave

highthief

I'm with your buddy - Joplin was rather gruesome.

But, in the same breath, I watched the Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer movie the other night - and for all the swooning over Jessica Alba, and all her magazine covers, etc, I found her unattractive, too. I have no idea why people think she's hot.

So, it's down to personal tastes.

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Si vis pacem parabellum.

MSD

I never understood the need some people have to stratify everything, rank things, and assign numbers to them. Isn't it enough to say, "I like that" or "She's attractive" or whatever and leave it at that? Maybe it's a good thing in the workplace where competition will make everyone do their best, but what good does it do to think, "well, she's an 8.5, but the woman next to her is an 8.7, so who cares?"

If there's ever a thread that needed to be paired up and cross-referenced with the Ladder Theory thread, this is it.
No, not at all, although the last time it happened I couldn't figure out how I saw her attractive mentally or physically after I ran out of Vicodin. That stuff addles the brain.

Infinite_Loser

Reading through this thread has made me come to the realization that some women (I said some) are terribly delusional if they think females aren't as superficial as males are. Hell, at times, women can even be more superficial than men (*Points in the direction of the LL*).

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Menoman

Many just deny it, it's the entire stigma of 'whore' , 'slut' , etc etc that is placed on any women who just wants to fuck a hot guy. So the more and more who deny it by will, or deny it just to deny it, the more the 'reputation' builds for women.

Men on the other hand will flat out tell people, ya, I'll fuck her coz she is hot. We on the other hand don't have to worry about that stigma of being a whore, coz the more hot bitches we fuck, the ohhh sooo coooool we become!!! yippeee!!

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MSD

And there are people who wonder why men have the stereotype we do.

Menoman

I've found more often than not, stereotypes have a large base in fact.

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mixedmedia

I've found that stereotypes are most often quantified by the least common, yet most obnoxious, denominator.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

abaya

Speak for yourself.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Menoman

oh ok... lets all play pretend now where stereotypes have no link to real life.

__________________

mixedmedia

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Infinite_Loser

Stereotypes are simply nothing more than broad generalizations, and broad generalizations typically stem from some amount of truth. That's just a fact of life.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Plan9

Which is why I can't dance or play basketball and you love fried chicken and poverty.

Stereotypes enable perpetuation. And that makes me a sad monkey.

...

Back on topic: Escaping from one night stands with minimal evidence is crucial if said person's compatibility involved less than six hours and intense crotch slamming activities. I've never had any issues with stalking, but the AIM handle and phone # are vulnerable to said nonsense.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Infinite_Loser

Key phrase in what I said: "...Broad generalizations typically stem from some amount of truth." However, yeah, all of what you said is pretty much true for the different sub-sections of society in which they're directed towards.

Except the part about loving poverty. No one loves poverty.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Plan9

Ya know, IL... if you were a girl... I'd want to have angry sex with you.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ustwo

Well I've been told its all the same when the lights are out, so *click*.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

abaya

I wasn't disagreeing with that, not at all. What I (and MM, I believe) meant was that hey, if you (and others, such as Menoman) want to go on perpetuating stereotypes of men being assholes, nobody's stopping you. Congratulations on your achievement!

But just because a stereotype has an ounce of truth does not make it generalizable to the whole population. Several male members have proven just that, on this thread and others. Personally, I'm glad to be married to someone who doesn't fit the stereotype of what men are socialized to be, in almost every way possible.

But each to their own... I'm quite sure that there are plenty of women who appreciate conformity to the male stereotype as a mark of ground-shaking character and integrity.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Ourcrazymodern?

(Heh!)

Paris could be a nerd if she was smarter. In the meantime, she's just a ____.

I apologize to mm, abaya, and mandy, but Crompsin, you might have labelled this FMO. Except that, of course, things like that aren't tolerated in (any guesses?)?

This most perfect of all possible worlds seems to have failed US in this case. ...It didn't in the first place.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Plan9

Oh-ho, but I need the lights on, brother... I'm under 30 and that means my dick is still sporting those squeaky training wheels.

...

OurCrazyModern?: Yeah, I labeled it with the "Men" prefix because of the directed content of the OP, not because I didn't want women responding. Women should totally respond to this kinda crap... since, ya know, they're the "sought-after commodity" in the "meat market" of the "primal male mind."

Last time I checked? It takes two to tango in a one night stand. Ugliness is debatable, especially when you're horny / drunk / desperate.

Yeah, that two to tango part...

*looks down at his hand*

No, buddy... you don't count. Heh. Heh-heh.

This thread did a good job of blowing out like a Firestone tire on a late '90s Ford Explorer, but I got a few laughs from those who followed the "tell a weird one night stand story" subplot. So much for articles... I might have to stick to my much less poetic personal queries for any future threads.

...

Menoman is my hero. He masturbates with Brillo pads. And likes it.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

mixedmedia

What are you apologizing to me for?

I've waded through bullshit way deeper than this thread before.

I think it's funny that you feel like you have to segregate yourselves into a corner of a website whose women, for the most part, love men, love sex, will post naked pictures of themselves for you and don't start threads in which they talk about how fucked-up men are. Find me one thread in the Ladies' Lounge that was created in order to rant about the failings of men as a gender. And believe me, you guys can whine all night and day about the chick who didn't fuck you or the girl that dumped you for a rich guy, but that doesn't even come close to the fucked-up hell realms that I have been through in the company of men. Yet, I will stand here and say that I love men.

And at first it really irritated me, but now I'm really glad that you guys have segregated yourselves in this way for me. Because now, when I post nekkid pictures of myself in my journal, I know which men to include on my Buddy list.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Ustwo

No one told me there were naked pictures, and I looked damn it!

Honestly I have to wonder if I were 20 after a girl I really loved dumped me, or if I wasn't lucky and found my wife about a year later, how I'd have responded to a post like this, don't be too hard on them.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

mixedmedia

I haven't posted them...yet. Actually, I haven't even taken them, yet. I'm working my way to that point...

And I don't think I'm being too hard on them. You know, if in my heart I didn't really care, I wouldn't say anything.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

bloody_rose20

Well this is an interesting post lol. I will say reading it pissed me off. But I can see where some guys could come from. Somewhat. To what that guy 'who loves ugly chicks' said, I dissagree about any guy would be willing to cheat on their woman. I say, if a woman does everything her man sexually wants to him and as often as he wants it, he will not stray away-unless he is a pig. I try my hardest and I know I am not ugly in that sense, but I do it becuase I love my guy. If guys are straying on their women, then the woman isn't trying hard enough. Plus, it should be mutual from the guys to try hard too. Its that 50-50 deal, though in my book, its 100/100 from both. I will say being a girl, I have dated ALOT of ugly men in my life lol, but I could only have slept with good-looking ones. Granted, I have only had sex with one man in my life, and the same with him with girls. We were eachothers firsts so neither of us can say we were 'with' any ugly people. Well, I could if you count hand-jobs, but my man never got with any woman in that sence-which made it that much easier to be less self-concious lol. So yes. That is my two sense. Sorry if it made no sense lol.

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"The only way to enjoy life, is to try different things, and take risks. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and hope for the best "

Ourcrazymodern?

I was convinced LL was for women only. The advertizing that says "no men allowed" is tic?

Now, that's interesting.

I've never done anybody that I considered ugly.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

mixedmedia

It is for women only. And in there you will mainly find women talking about vaginal health and places to buy a good bra. But men can go in there and peruse the threads all they like. Perhaps it is worthwhile to have a place women can go to talk about their breasts without some dude in there cracking boob jokes.

The logic is that much of TFP is 'The Men's Room,' in case you haven't noticed.

But at any rate, the Ladies Lounge is very lightly used so there really isn't much of an issue unless you want to make one of it.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Plan9

I'm offended by the hotness of your avatar!

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

analog

I'm surprised you haven't yet been verbally assassinated by another woman for saying such a thing.

mixedmedia

Why? Do you believe it is true?

Okay, I'll tell bloodyrose that there are no absolutes in this world.

Not all men are pigs.

Not all women are scheming opportunists.

And not all people in committed relationships cheat on their partners because their partners aren't keeping them sexually satisfied. (After all, sometimes women cheat on men, too. *gasp*)

But if anyone wants to, again, base their arguments on such unsupportable hogwash then go right ahead.

"verbally assassinated by another woman"

that's rich....

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce