Sharon

Do you think there is a link between sex and fear? Do we get turned on by specific things that we are afraid? Is there a good reason why horror is often tied to eroticism in movies?

Personally, I think there is a very strong link. I find films which tie the two together a huge turn on, and generally if a guy wants to get me in bed, all he has to do is invite me over to watch a horror film... my heart is thumping, my breathing is affected, and I do NOT want to sleep alone that night.

I also get turned on by fantasies which involve experiences that scare the bejesus out of me, such as loss of control, pain or sensual overload.

What do you think?

abaya

Hmm. Personally, I hate horror movies, and I find nothing erotic about them. I was subjected to horror film rentals at home from a very young age, since my parents didn't think it was necessary to censor an R-rated slasher movie for a 5 year old. It made me very irrationally scared of a lot of things as a kid (still scared of dark bathrooms, as it is)... and I have never enjoyed horror films as a result.

I also do not like receiving or inflicting any kind of pain, though my loss of control is something I do enjoy (especially because I tend to have a rather dominating personality most of the time). No erotic association whatsoever.

Just don't make your 5 year old watch Poltergeist or Rosemary's Baby or every single one of the Freddy Krueger movies...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Lizra

I hate them too. I find them stupid and fake. For me, sex and fear are opposites. I must be totally relaxed and feeling safe to allow myself to let go and fully enjoy sex. Introduce fear, and sex goes down the tubes.

__________________
Happy atheist

World's King

I'm affraid of being analy raped.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

hambone

I agree with abaya. I think how you were raised would matter. If you watch movies such as the above where sex and horror are intertwined, especially before you can really tell that it isn't reality that is up on the screen, I think scary situations can really turn you off.

However, it would depend on WHAT you were exposed to. Sticking with movies as an example, if a couple ended up having sex in the midst of some scary situation, the two may go hand in hand for you.

Now if say they were watching Hellraiser 3 instead (which my delinquent babysitter let us watch...) and a woman is about to have sex with a man, and then all her skin gets ripped off... now that should turn you off when you get scared I would think.

__________________
"Like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over"

hagatha

I read an article once that said sometimes people confuse sexual attraction with fear...the body is reacting negatively to the person your with but since many of us have lost touch with our primal responses, we confuse our fear with attraction.
I remember once getting really queasy whenever I was around this guy and I thought it was because he was attractive. Actually, it was because he was really crazy, but I didn't find that out until much, much later.

__________________
Thats the last time I trust the strangest people I ever met....H. Simpson

ratbastid

There is a strong similarity between the physical states of sexual arousal and "fight or flight". Both are caused by the sympathetic nervous system and are all about "turning up" physical responses and sensations. So, it's completely understandable that the two might get paired up for some people.

I think there's "fun" fear (the kind in a scary movie or on a roller coaster, where there's no REAL danger) and then there's "real" fear (someone has a gun to your head, your car is out of control, you've fallen into the lion enclosure at the zoo). "Fun" fear can be exciting and erotic. I'd be surprised if "real" fear made anybody too horny.

Because both things sell movies.

Noted.

ShaniFaye

I watch horror movies...but they never "scare" me. I get more jumpy watching a good episode of ghost hunters lol

to me fear does not make for good sex because I dont really scare easily (unless Im driving behind a logging truck on the road)


loss of control, pain and sensual overload dont frighten me either and turn me on greatly. Those kind of sexual activities are only done with people I trust implicitly so no fear is attached to it, if I were scared there is no way I'd enjoy it

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Toaster126

I think fear and sex are mutually exclusive. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would be physically unable to have sex if I was afraid.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Gilda

For me, it's sometimes.

Most of the time when I get horny, there's no fear involved.

However, a horror movie or a thriller can leave me in an excited state where it's a little easier to get turned on. I also enjoy being a BDSM bottom. Some of the most stimulating parts of it for me come when I don't know what's coming next and there's the possibility that Grace will take things a little farther than I'd expected. There's also the mildly masochistic side, where it isn't so much the infliction of pain that causes the sexual reaction so much as it's the anticipation of what's to come, which heightens my state and the response that comes. It's like on a roller coaster, where that big drop down the first hill is nice in itself, but the ride up the hill heightens your anticipation, and that moment just after the chain lets go and you're moving freely, but before the big drop begins, that's the best, most exciting part of it.

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

analog

Adrenaline can be a hell of an aphrodisiac.

thesupermikey

horror movies, specifically teen/slasher (Thing Texas Chainsaw Massacre) films like VERY strong Freudian element to them. The killer stands in for repressed teen/male sexuality releasing those repressed feels by symbolically raping (killing) young women. Movies like Nightmare on Elm Street are very much about sexual repression, as the 'monster' punished teens for stepping outside social norms by become sexually active before marriage.

(I just finished teaching this lesson to my intro to media studies students)

So yes - i guess there is a connection between horror movies and sex, but in more general terms - im going to have to place myself "maybe" category. Fear is complex, and not all fear is the same.

__________________
If you are not outraged than you are not paying attention!

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias" - Steven Colbert

abaya

Well shit, if that's true, then watching Freddie Krueger from age 5 on only reinforced my desire to wait until marriage... I can blame horror movies for why I was a virgin so long!!!

Not if you were a sub... in that case, the "being afraid" part is a massive turn on, because it takes place within an atmosphere of total trust (e.g. the dom is going to beat you/hurt you, which is scary, but he/she also loves you and won't *really* hurt you because it's a safe situation and there are safewords and all that). Very complex psychology, if you ask me... I don't always understand it, but Gilda illustrated parts of it very well.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ShaniFaye

I have to diasgree abaya.....you said it yourself (as I did in my post) it takes TOTAL TRUST to be in a voluntary sub position and I just cant correlate "being afraid" and "total trust". Anticipation is what makes it hot.....not fear

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

abaya

Ah, okay Shani. I see what you mean. I guess what I meant by "fear" in that situation was a trusting kind of fear... not the total, shit-in-pants kind of fear that you get from a truly terrifying situation. Maybe it's not really fear, then, as you say... but rather anticipation combined with trust.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Gilda

I'm going to disagree just slightly.

To use my roller coaster analogy again, it's a fear combined with the knowledge of safety that creates the heightened responses. When I ride a big roller coaster, I know that I'm perfectly safe, that I am in fact safer than I was in the car ride going to the park. I'm also scared, especially in that moment of anticipation, which heightens the response that comes from the actual ride itself. You get safety with the illusion of danger, which makes it so that it's possible to enjoy the physical sensation that comes with emotional and physical reactions.

It isn't fear in the same sense as you feel when you're in genuine danger, but I'd still call it a kind of fear.

Obviously that's not the only attraction; theres the feeling of freedom that comes with giving power over to another person the physical sensation of the restraint and the pain inflicted, the immersion into the role being played.

But fear can be a component, especially so if you can connect to the illusion of danger.

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

highthief

Yup, it's been shown in a number of studies that dates involving some sort of fear response (a roller coaster ride or scary movie being the most obvious examples) have a greater tendency to result in intimate contact than more sedate outings.

That's not to say everyone is affected the same way or to the same degree as Sharon, but if a guy wants to get laid, taking his date out for a Saw marathon while riding the biggest coaster he can find holds a statisically greater chance of post-date action.

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

Willravel

I was cool until Fatal Attraction. Glen Close is scarier than a veloceraptor.

I think that both produce a great deal of energy, adhrenelin, etc. I'm not sure what other links you're looking for.

Mistress Kali

I have heard many subs say that the fear of the unknown during bdsm is one of the biggest turn ons.

__________________
]

Charlatan

I would go with the roller coaster analogy. I'm not sure I would say that it's fear as such, rather it is the adrenaline that comes with it.

In fact, I would say that a lot of cheating occurs because people are looking for the excitement or rush that comes from "the first time". The uncertainty mixed with the thrill of the first kiss is a rush and it isn't easily to replicate.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

3leggedfrog

Interesting poll results... I am not going to spoil it for those who have not voted on it yet but it was not what I expected but then again it makes sense when you think about it. I think society morals have a great impact on the answers. The difference is how both genders are taught to view sex.

Great post sharon

__________________
"enjoy life to the brim but do not spill it" quoted off my tatoo

"Iam myself every day."

PhilMcGroin

OK, now for 30 seconds of off-topic immaturity...lol

I have to admit that at first skin down the thread list, I thought it said "Are sex and beer related?" Damn skippy they are!

We now return you to logical, mature programming.

Phil

ItWasMe

I had this conversation many years ago while watching a scary movie (which I can't really do since 9/11). Scary movies where the gal is saved by a hero, preferably a romantic interest, could be a turn on. As long as there wasn't too much blood and guts to churn my stomach beforehand. Scary movies where the gal is hurt by men and ultimately saves herself...absolutely no turn on whatsoever. For me, I think the turn on is the hero.

Ourcrazymodern?

I don't recall ever having gotten an erection out of fear.

If it ain't stiff it ain't worth (it).

__________________
BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Baraka_Guru

When I first read into this, I immediately associated fear with death (i.e. the fear of death). I believe that this specific fear is a factor in our sex drives. Sex is a generative act, it is how we procreate and pass on our genetic material. Death is the "game over" of the game of life.

Subconsciously and often consciously, we know that one day we are going to die. The unknown experience of death is something that most of us fear. This fear is an ongoing feeling at some level of our psyche. For this reason, I believe our sex drives are tied to this fear. We hope to connect, to have generative experiences before we die. This fear drives us to be sexual beings.

I don't think that fear and sex are felt equally at all times. I agree that it would be hard to maintain an erection if I felt my life was at risk. However, I've often contemplated whether my sexual urges were random or somehow linked to my awareness of life and death.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Destrox

Seeing as I find Horror movies to be a complete waste of entertainment dollars.... I'll go with no. Hell if anything I'd be so bored with the movie, I'd turn it off and say, "wanna just have sex instead?"

Its just one of those genres that I could never get into. Give me a good drama, action, or dark comedy.

__________________
You bore me.... next.