Temporary_User

NOTE: This thread is mainly about male masturbation, although I'm not telling females not to post here.

This has been something that I've thought of quite a bit I guess all of my life. Well I guess since I've been masterbatiing.
Anyways I always had it in the back of my mind that after I masterbate I'm less "manly" or more sensitive. I am 21 and would say I masterbate just about everyday, and have since I first discovered masterbation.
I myself am too weak to actually test this theory out, and this is why I am posting this thread.
Does anyone on here go for a while with out masterbation, and notice any effects from not doing it?
In all seriousness, a masterbation pro/con.

Taking this thread even further, (or maybe off-topic) something I've recently thought of is maybe with the internet and porn being more accessible, this is why we now have metrosexuals and all.

NotAnAlias

I went for two weeks without masturbating - was busy mostly, and i had a little bit of an inability to climax with my girlfriend previously, so i wanted to be sure.

All that i noticed was that thoughts of fucking her 6 ways from sunday were more frequent, i felt frustrated and got a little pissed off at trivial things. Was really worth it when we were together the next time though ;P

Mind you, those feelings of irritability and frustration could quite easily have come from preoccupations with and stress from university. I didn't feel more "manly" than i would normally though.

And another thought, just because porn has changed forms doesn't really mean much. Pornography has been a huge trade which was widely accessable by almost anyone since it's conception, just because it's on the internet now doesn't necessarily mean it's any different. I mean, you still need a bit of privacy, a bit of time, and something to look at, it's not as if porn websites made time stop and people leave you alone. Although part of me wishes they would....:P

savvypup

I LOVE watching a guy masturbate!!!!! It totally turns me on, even the thought of them doing it does. So less manly? - definitely not in my eyes.

__________________

ciao bella!

maleficent

there are countless threads on the topic of masturbation and stopping for a while.. but i'm gonna pick out a comment of yours and ask..

why do you feel that way?
More sensitive I can buy, because I think most people are a touch more sensitive after sex or masturbation, or at least more aware of their feelings... but how does that make a person less manly? and are you seeing it as a negative?

__________________

Charlatan

It's interesting, Buddhist monks are encourage to not masturbate (or ejaculate at all for that matter). They believe that ejaculating rids the body of energy and power.

Personally, I find that masturbation provides an outlet for the raging hormones that course through my system. The sex drive of a young man is an awesome force of nature. I find that as I get older the drive is less and the need to jerk off everyday is less.

If anything, the desire to masturbate shows that you are quite manly (or at least "young manly").

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

skinnymofo

ive gone 6 weeks without before. and several other long time periods, but that is because when you live in close quarters with guys and have little female contact the thoughts become less and less.
i find if it just abstain for a week or two when im by myself and not living in a dorm room style place, i tend to just have public boners more frequently and things tend to irritate me easier.
as a side note my wrestling coach used to tell all of us to stay away from the girls before tourneys/matches.

Bill O'Rights

Yeah...I get hornier than hell. Oh...and cranky. As far as "less manly"? No. If masturbation made one less manly I'd be out shopping now for a gorgeous pair of pumps, and a matching purse. Have you seen the new spring line? Oh, it's just to die for.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

jth

it's perfectly normal for a man at 21 to want to clean the pipes every day. There's nothing wrong with it. I mean there's chronic problems if you like, can't sleep without rubbing one out or you obsess over it surfing porn all night to find something new to fire off on.

I've gone real long stints without jerking off (8 months) was the longest I went. I shared a room with 4 guys and lived in a house with 11 people half were hot chicks actually. But you couldn't find a moment to yourself. Eventually I just got used to it and lived with it. Which just made a return to it so much better. Before that I was a once a day guy maybe twice if I was horny, and I was 19 at the time so you figure that out ha.

I'm almost 28 now and probably once every 2 or 3 days maybe. Sometimes longer if I am just not interested in it. Which seems to be the case right now. But there's nothing less manly about masturbation, if there was then every man on this planet would be crying unmanly softies

__________________
"A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote

ratbastid

I'm only tangentially going to address the OP, so bear with me.

"Manliness" is a really strange (and sort of distasteful) concept to me. I really don't like standards for how I am supposed to be. Am I only a man if I grow a mustache and kill woodland creatures? If I can bench twice my own weight? If the only time I cry is when I spill my beer or my football team loses?

Ridiculous. Equating "sensitivity" with a lack of "manliness" is absurdly narrow-minded.

I'm a man. I love being a man. And I'm very open with my emotions. And I do my best to be kind and generous to people. Movies make me cry sometimes. I get moved and inspired and excited by things sometimes, and I let people know it. And I'm not embarassed by that.

abaya

I'm a woman, and I certainly don't feel any less "womanly" after getting myself off... nor do I think of my boyfriend as being less "manly" after he masturbates. Like savvypup, I find my bf's masturbation to be sexy, and it's an expression of his sex drive ... likewise for myself.

Gender roles/types would be the last thing on my mind (especially because I don't care much for what society says about them, so I try to ignore notions of "manliness" or "womanliness" since neither I nor my bf fit easily into any of those categories, and we like it that way ).

Here's what goes through my head: "Gee, I'm horny, I want to masturbate," then I do it, and I think, "Ahhh, that felt great."

I don't think, "Shit, I've lost my mojo!"

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

joemc91

I've never thought about being less manly after masturbation. I have gone a while without doing so, usually it's because I'm traveling and don't have any area to myself where I can do to privately. Other times it's because I'm seeing someone and can get it quite often anyways.

__________________
I prefer desert wines to dessert wines.

Dry and red

Topper

My thoughts exactly.

onodrim

Add a second "my thoughts exactly" to that.

And again, taking the words straight out of my mind. Masturbation generally speaking is a release, and a fun one, there's really no more to it than that.

__________________
"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

BigBen

Ratbastid speaks the truth.

Oh, and if masturbation makes one less "Manly", then I am Richard Simmons.

__________________
3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

maleficent

I was waiting for that response...

ya see gentlemen... ben says he's on the 5 a day plan, and i don't mean fruits and veggies... if that makes him less manly well... god...

/me passes out...

__________________

Zeraph

I've gone for awhile without and at first the need for sex increases but then it peaks and almost suddenly you have no interest at all. So I would say the opposite, you become more androgoneous after awhile.

ratbastid

Who, frankly, as a gay man, really ought to know better than to still wear his hair like that...

Charlatan

He wears it that way to hide his hair plugs... He lost all his hair when he starved himself years ago.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Poppinjay

If masturbating makes you less manly then I am Oprah's sissified sissy.

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Daoust

Oh I masturbate. I masturbate like crazy. And I wouldn't say I feel less manly. I'd say I feel a little guilty sometimes, for unknown reasons, but I don't feel less manly.

Many times I masturbate out of necessity, as other men have mentioned here. When the wife ain't in the mood, Palmela always helps out. If I go without for long periods of time, like 5 days, I become irritable as well.

I liked abaya's response. When I am horny I think about masturbating, then I do it, and then I say 'ahhhhh' Just like most masturbators. We do it, and then say aaahhhh.

__________________
I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

AlCap0wn

I definitely get more sexual thoughts/dreams/random boners if it's been awhile since I last laid some pipe. About six months ago, I was going through a dry spell, and as a result was springing a chubby pretty much whenever the wind shifted. Talk about an uncomfortable situation at work.

However, it did have an upside - a visiting vendor from out of town had sent a female representative. An attractive, late-20s Chinese lady, who was having a marital dispute.

Score one for the home team.

And before anyone says it, I'm aware that I'm an asshole. I'm comfortable with that.

__________________

doncalypso

I must admit that while I enjoy the release of tension that comes from masturbation I also feel stupid doing it because in the back of my mind it means my game is so lame that I couldn't get me any pvssy. In fact, since I'm in a committed relationship masturbation feels even worse on an emotional level because if I masturbate it means that I'm too lame to turn my girlfriend on.

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

Temporary_User

I just want to clarify a bit on my OP and thread title.
I myself am not a lumber jack, or anyother stereotypical "man"
so my point wasnt that it makes you less "manly" it was moreso going at more sensitive. In stereotypes I think everyone will agree being sensitive is considered less manly and that is why I originally worded it like that.
i also understand none of the above posts pointing this out to me, were directed at me negatively.

with that said, you always hear that not masterbating will make you more aggressive. aggressive could be many things, but I think of it as sports. I used to play hockey, and me being aggressive means I have the energy and drive to go into the corner bodycheck the guy and get the puck and score.
I would also say that I'm a sensitive guy, could almost be labled a metrosexual but not quite.
So as me thinking of aggressive as such, and myself being a lil senstive I guess I always had a thought in the back of my mind that masterbation was the reason that I am a little sensitive.

MechCow

I don't believe this is true. Pornography has changed a great deal both in reach and in substance by the internet. The earliest pornography I read a long time ago on fleshbot was something like naked women on vases 4000 BC - neither widely accessible nor a huge trade. I think the availability of pornography has definately changed our society and somehow the internet has made porn less taboo because its a sort of accepted fact that 90% of males who have access to the internet have accessed porn.

I look at a lot of porn and I sympathise with temporary_user on this point. I live with my girlfriend (just the two of us) and probably a percentage of the time I get off to porn I could have been getting off with her - which is really depressing and certainly makes me feel less manly. I find pornography does make me harbour a certain amount of negative/derogatory feelings towards women and I find it makes me less "hungry" to play the predator or even to talk to girls I don't know. On the flip side - a lot of girls like it when you are not going straight for their pussy so its a two way street everything in moderation and everything. I see it very much like a drug and that is ok to look at a bit but must be respected for its power to shape who you are.

maleficent

Being sensitive is absolutely NOT less manly, in fact, if a MAN can be sensitive (and I'mn not talking sobbing at some lameass chick flick like Titanic, Brian's Song is a sobbable movie) it means he's aware that other people have feelings and even more so is aware that he has feelings.

Sensitive is not a negative. But like anything it can be taken to an extreme.

There's more than one man here who will admit to crying. Crying over a broken nail, is a little extreme, and I don't think anyone will admit to that, crying because trust was violated by a person who promised to love you til death do them part is acceptable and to be honest, encouraged... men are not machines... they are human beings, and human beings have feelings... feelings get hurt and it's ok to cry when that happens.

Metrosexual and sensitive are really mutually exclusive... metrosexual is a guy who takes some pride in his appearance and uses products to help it along... he might read men's fashion magazines etc, doesn't necessarily make him sensitive... A sensitive guy is one who's really in touch with their feelings (golly that was so 70's psycho babble bs) he's not gonna punch a hole thru a wall because he's pissed at something, he's going to sit down and explain why he's angry.

__________________

Charlatan

Thanks Mal... you just saved me from writing that.

Honestly, when are we going to get over the negative stereotyping that says if you are "sensitive" you are somehow less manly.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Temporary_User

You totally misquoted me Mal.
I understand and agree with your point.
Again, the reason for this thread was for me to get some other input on whether or not others think that masterbating will lead to one being less of a stereotypical man. I understand that people are born and raised different ways so we will all grow up differently.

I wanted to get people views on what they experience if they go for long periods of time with out masterbation. I know people will get aggressive and irritable, but I wondered if there was anything else.

abaya

Wow, this was refreshing to read... a guy who isn't justifying the effect of porn on his view of sex with a real woman. Not saying that all guys think this way, but it's a rare guy who 'fesses up to the effect of the influx of porn on his life (and I agree, MechCow, that both the substance and availability of porn has increased exponentially since thousands or even hundreds of years ago... anyone who says differently is justifying something).

Now, just as a disclaimer, I watch quite a bit of porn myself, as a woman... and it has certainly affected the way I see other men, women, and having sex with them. But I think it has increased my sexual awareness and made me more aggressive (especially when masturbating) because I didn't even think about sex or start masturbating until I was about 22-23. So, porn and masturbation have helped me become a more sexual being, in moderation.

But to address the OP: When you get off to porn, does that make you feel more "sensitive?" Or does it actually make you more aggressive, as you said? Interesting.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Temporary_User

It's not like I notice a difference directly after.
Like I said in my earlier posts I masterbate pretty much daily, and have done so for the past several years. So I was wondering about others what effects abstaining brings.

rofgilead

I actually do notice something definite. When I don't do anything sexually for a couple of days, I get both more aggressive and more confident. I feel less anxious over all (which I tend to notice, because I am a very anxious person normally). So, it is almost a positive thing for me to abstain - psychologically for the confidence improvement.

It could just be something related to feeling weird about self pleasure, but I think I am pretty used to it, and not really so self-conscious. I've even done it in front of my girlfriend before, so I don't think I'm too worried about it - and I've talked openly about masturbation before with my girlfriend too.

However, I think I get some kind of hormonal increase that relates to confidence and a feeling of manliness when I don't do anything sexual for a while. I've heard stories about boxers and athletes who would abstain from sex before an event..

doncalypso

To answer the actual question posed by the original poster, I find myself full of energy and restless when I go for a long time without masturbation or sex.

The first two weeks without sex and/or masturbation are hell because I'm too restless to sleep at night even if I'm feeling totally drained. After the first two weeks I can get to sleep with less difficulty, but then I have to deal with the problem of morning wood every single damned day of my life until I either get some or jerk off to release the tension. The up side of things is that I generally have more energy and am more alert because of the extra boost from the accumulated unspent sexual energy. And finally, when I finally do jerk off or get some sex after having gone celibate for weeks or months I end up shooting so much jizz that I could put Peter North to shame.

The most I have gone without any sex or masturbation was 60 days and 60 nights. It was hard as hell, but if I'm ever single again or if my girlfriend continues to have a low sex drive I might as well go for 90 days and 90 nights without sex or masturbation. I don't know what the record is for total celibacy (i.e. no sex or masturbation), but I'm certain a man could go on indefinitely if his mind is disciplined enough.

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

abaya

Well, I went to an evangelical Christian college, and I can tell you that while yes, probably quite a few boys there masturbated on a regular basis (and even had sex, though we had signed a contract to not do that outside of marriage), a good portion of the male population was neither masturbating not having sex. Porn was actually inaccessible on all campus computers.

I was really close to a lot of guy friends there, and they were all the types of guys who had disciplined themselves away from anything corrupting in the slightest (and they had accountability groups to talk about temptations and pray about them). I mean, they took the Bible seriously... that even *thinking* lustfully in their heads was a sin, and that it needed to be surrendered to God. You could say they either had very strong self-control, or very strong brainwashing/repression... but it was still their own choice to believe what they did.

I don't know if this made them all more or less manly... I had no one to compare them with, since that was my only scene for 4 years. But I'd say they put far less time and energy into thinking about sex than most people age 18-22, since there was so much guilt associated with it. Our campus was well-known for its high level of guys' participation in community groups, leadership, sports, intramurals, volunteering, etc. I don't know how strong the correlation is, but it's there... you might consider it to be a lot like how productive monks and nuns are in their communities, at least for a period of 4 years.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Jinn

It must also be noted that one can still be rational and refuse to be angry without being "in touch with their feelings" - blah blah 70s pyscho babble indeed.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

madp

I have a question: are there any limitations to maintaining your manliness during masterbation? Are you allowed to tie yourself up and slap yourself around a little bit?

For the record, if I don't keep my fluid levels on an even keel, a cross eyed hunchback with a grapefruit-sized goiter and a worm-infested wooden leg would start looking good to me. It's really in the best interests of the community that I take care of my manly business on a regular schedule.

__________________
why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

silvertiger

Tie away .. hang from the rafters .. celebrate your manly beef pounding .. I do ...

anything that gets you going is wht you should do (unless it involves children, squirrels or industrial grade duct tape)

jmad

If I don't beat off at least once a week, I get lots of pent up anger and tend to yell at people a lot more. If I go more than 2 weeks without masturbating, I usually start having wet dreams. Getting off on a daily basis is an important part of my routine, like showering and shaving is.

BigBen

Amen.

Every day, 0600, pull in the shower as I am washing Bigger Ben. Hey, the soap feels good. It is my body and I will wash it as fast as I want.

Every day, work day ends: get home, get some quick self-abuse done so that I can concentrate on the evenings activities.

Every evening, Prior to evening activities: Especially if I am going out somewhere. I see a hot girl, I pitch wood if there is any ammo left in the Howitzer. Not a pleasant feeling, nor is it entirely socially acceptable.

Every evening, Prior to sleep: Better than a sleeping pill. The rush of endorphines feels so good you just have to do it. Take your time with this one. Really get into it.

Not every night, upon waking up: Hey, you have a good dream? Why not finish the dream off with a happy ending?

Routines are important. They provide a stable and rewarding comfort ina hectic world.

__________________
3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

nmm

I haven't masturbate in months, over the last year I have done it no more than 5 times...
When my marriage broke up I went 3 months without sex or masturbation and I felt great...
Since I have my new girl I have done it only when she was away for few days...
I have never fell less manly because of it, but then again I don't do it often, I used to do it nearly everyday when I was married, cos well had sex only once a week...
And I have to say I do feel more confident now that I do every few months only...
Note, now I have sex at the very least once a day, but I know that even if I was single I wouldn't do it...
I never find it hard, got urges just once in a while and that's about it, if it get too tight in my pants I take care of business tho...

__________________
Nihilistic Mad Man... Gallic Hedonist... Freak of Nature...

thespian86

Metro Sexuality doesn't exactly imply preferances sexually. I find it's more about an out look on life. It's more of an acute attention to being aware of emotion, pop culture (which is the part that people see), etc. I think it's more about being aware and finding depth in things that many "men" pass over. But I think it is impossible to define a gender, especially with sterotypes.

For the longest time I didn't masterbate because I was taking a medication for depression that made it nearly impossible to climax and I didn't want it to effect my extremely active sex life with my girlfriend; seeing as I could hardly come then. Now I'm off of it and masterbate ever second day or so, and have sex just as or more often. My libedo went from *wah, wah, wahhhhhh* to *do-do-do doooo do do!* Yay for trumpet related references... no?

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Temporary_User

I have a question for those that report withholding from masterbation. Are you also holding out on sex?
The impression that I get is that some of you arent...

I think we all have agreed that I misworded this whole thread.
In essance, climaxing I guess is the word I should of used instead of masterbation.
Is there any difference for a human if they withold from climaxing for a certain amount of time.