slushi999

I got a situation where a coworker is trying to get me fired. Here is my story then I will show you the email he sent to the boss. I need help on sending reply back to my manager to diffuse the situation. Let me beging with what happend. Feel free to ask me any questions.

Basically we are doing some migration at work so we had to start sharing desks, so one of the night guys started sitting on my cube. Well I bascially have 2 computers in my space and I mentioned he can set up his along with one of mine since I know he had a KVM switch. However what he did was completely take mine out and put his in without the switch. I did mention he can set his up but I had no IDEA he was going to take mine COMPLETELY OUT. So at this point on the next shift I willingly tried to set it up myself since it was already in my drawer. However I didnt have the Power adapter to start it up so I went into his box so I can set it up. I needed to do this so I can function as there were some applications on my pc that needed to be accessed. Also he had a admin LOCK on his pc so couldnt even Login set a basic profile up. I tried apoligizing to him but instead he went to the manager and esclated to the director. He was PISSED off i went into box. Below is the email he sent. Please help me in sending an email back to manager and director to diffuse the situation.


"Hello Shawn
There was no confusion about you going into my office box, taking out my switch and looking for my adapter without my permission. You just decided to do it. You could have contacted me via email, cell phone, home phone, through another co-worker or to me in person. Also, there
was nothing cleared up from this morning except you admitting you did it. When working with co-workers each person has to maintain a code of ethics as far as what they say, what they do, how they do it and who it affects. The fact that you went into my office and personal things
without my permission creates a low morale when working with you. It does not matter about the reasons why you went into my office box, except the reason why you didn't feel compelled to communicate with me on it. I have had things stolen from my office due to situations like these occurring. I don't like the fact that you tried to blame other
co-workers in this situation, when you know you p erformed the action the whole time. This issue occurred before with Renee and we told you to communicate with him before you moved his items. Communication and
positive work ethics are the keys here in this situation. "

2nd Email to DIRECTOR:

Currently I am very disappointed in Shawn and his respect for other people's items. This weekend he went into my office box that has all my things in it from down stairs to get a device that we never talked about getting or using without my permission. I will be moving my belongings
from his desk and will not be sitting his desk any longer to work. I have been here for almost 5 years and have never experienced this kind of disrespect from another co-worker here before. I thought he gained
understanding from his previous situation with Renee about touching people's things without permission. I would like for this to be addressed on management level and progressed to highe r levels if necessary. Shawn has been a problem with the night and weekend staff since his hiring, however due to teamwork we all have put up with him. Issues like these create low morale and large miscommunication amongst co-workers. I have spoken with my other co-workers Fakhrul Hoque and Eric Large and they have had other issues to occur with him that has
created the same low morale. They are willing to speak with you as well. "

He has blown this WAY out of proporation and has been Irrational. This coworker has done this sort of thing in the past with other coworkers by taking it way over his head. He is TRYING TO DESTROY me. I may be at fault by going into this box to look for the adapter but he had no right of setting up the way he did + having an Admin Lock on his computer so I couldnt function the other pc

Thanks for any help to save me!!!

smooth

From the looks of it, deeper issues are going on. Your best bet, in my opinion, is ask for a round table meeting where everyone can air their grievances and try to get to the root of the personality conflict.

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

flstf

It is hard for me to understand from what you have written whether what you did is really bad, just a little inconsiderate or just something you had to do to get your work done.

If this guy has done this sort of thing in the past then they will know it and take that into consideration. I have been a supervisor and always hated to have to deal with these petty problems that could easily have been worked out by the parties involved.

My suggestion is to email your co-worker apologizing for any misunderstanding and explaining why you did what you did, and send a copy to the supervisor(s). Be the one who is open minded and open to comprimise. You want your bosses to know that you are part of the solution and will bend over backwards to avoid problems in the future. Of course if you are just pissed off and don't care about the job that much then you could always take a hard line position and rant like crazy.

fibber

As a frequent job jumper myslef, I must side with flstf and put all my money on rant.

I'll send you a fiver, if you take pics. I'm a shy person by nature, but I loves me some makin' an ass of myself when it's time to quit.

-fibber

kramus

Sounds like the fella deliberately set up a situation where you would trip his asshole switch. I guess the question is why does he want to be an asshole, or at least be seen as acting like one. Did the move shake up his territorial instincts and so he is just being all fucked up so that he can spray testosterone around, or maybe demonstrate some kind of pseudo power by raising shit over a situation he himself engineered to happen? Don't apologise - ask for an apology from him because of his setting up an untenable position (yours), and the opportunity to have his sorry ass put in a closet somewhere where regular folks won't smell the stench coming off his asshole self. You are a person who was put out and fucked over while trying to be accomodating. If your supervisors want to get all politally correct and forget common sense then you have a hill to climb and I'm sorry you got caught in the works all unexpected like. But basically, fuck him and the horse he rode in on. My 2 cents.

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

slushi999

Thanks Kramus - Best input ive gotten from this thread....helping me build confidence to prepare and fire off my email.....more to come on this story.....hope everyone learns here .......btw - i do care for this job very much and see myself retiriing here....there are many battles to pick in choose in life. and this is an important one for me and my future and carrer is at stake obviously.....any more pointers. ....are welcome.....any others questsions.....on what happend...feel free to ask away.....

flstf

If you care about that job, I would cool down before writing that email. Put yourself in the supervisor's shoes for a minute. What kind of approach would you want your employees to take in this matter. Keeping cool and reasonable will make the other guy look like he's the problem. Don't get mad, get even. Make it look like he is the problem.

slushi999

Below is the email I plan on sending to upper managment to diffuse the situation. Feel free to make any suggestions before I send it.

"Dear Jeff (BOSS)

This is in reference to moving/migrating from downstairs setup to upstairs. At the moment there are currently 2 computers setup in my cube, one on the left and one on the right. When I realized that James moved over to my spot during shift changes I mentioned & communicated with him verbally that he is more than welcome to setup his pc along the left hand side with mine, as I knew he had a KVM switch that he used downstairs so that we can both use them interchangeably here and was open for solution to get a working setup for both of us. There are applications from the PC on the left side me & Fakhrul use to function on duties throughout the day. When I came in to work one weekend I was surprised to see he setup his pc and had no idea that he was going to totally disconnect mine. At this point I was going to setup a basic profile on his pc for use but it came to be that he had some administrator lock on it and there was an error message that his computer is “ not available on turner domain” so it wasn’t even accessible. So at this point there was a KVM switch that was already in my bottom right hand drawer and not in his box. I willing fully went to attempt to set it up to make a better situation for both of us so that we could both have our pc’s to access. However when I tried to set it up there was no power adapter available for use and his box was underneath my desk so I went in to look for it but couldn’t find it and that I did not go into it randomly. I did mention this to him as well that I did attempt to look for it & apologized for any confusion, but I feel he has taken this way out of proportion, become irrational and has over blown this as this something he has done in the past with other situations. I feel this was just a big misunderstanding and miscommunication on mine and his part. I have a email below also as proof that I did try & communicate/rectify with him to lets formulate a setup on a setting up the switch so that we can both have working pcs and have a comfortable working environment. "

kramus

Please understand I have made no changes to your text in my suggestion but merely offered a couple of spots that as an outsider I felt a bit of tidying up of sentences will help, or adjustment of line breaks. Short, clear, to the point and any extras brought out in a meeting. Keep the chit chat about this situation w. co-workers to a minimum to keep the "buzz" from distracting management during the move and you will look more like a white hat too. BTW my language in the 1st post is pure vent and to punctuate/punch up the response in order to make my point very very clear, - not the language to use in any way during this important time in your career unless it is just you and a Boss you have a comfortable relationship w. so you can be human and simply say "WTF man".

my 2 cents

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

slushi999

Here is the updated & modifed email. Please review for final revision and let me know if you reccomend any more changes. Thanks guys and thanks kramus.

Dear Jeff

This is in reference to Brad's email regarding relocating to upstairs. At that moment, there were two computers setup in my cubical, one on the left and one on the right side. When I realized that James had moved over to my spot during the shift change, I verbally communicated with him that he is more than welcome to setup his computer on the left hand side with my pc. I knew he had a KVM switch that we can both use interchangeably. I was open for solution to get a working setup for both of us. There are applications from the PC on the left side that I and Fakhrul use to function throughout the day.


When I came in to work one weekend I was surprised to see that Brad had setup his pc, and I had no idea that he was going to totally disconnect mine. At this point I was going to setup a basic profile on his pc for use but it came to be that he had some administrator lock on it, and there was an error message that his computer is “ not available on Turner domain,” so it wasn’t even accessible and he made the entire position untenable. At this point there was a KVM switch that was in my bottom right hand drawer and not in his box. While I attempted to get it setup and plugged it in to my pc with the monitor, I realized it required a power adapter. I noticed it was not in my drawer. I went in to look for the power adapter but couldn’t find it and that I did not go into his box just randomly. Hence, I attempted to set up the switch with the purpose of making a better situation for both of us, so we can both have our access to pc’s - using one monitor on the left side and a KVM on the top. I had mentioned to James that I attempted to look for the adapter and could not find it. I feel he has taken this way out of proportion, and has over blown this as this something he has done in prior situations.


I feel this was just a miscommunication on our part. I have a email to verify that I tried to communicate with him to formulate a setup on setting up the switch so that we can both have functioning pcs and have a comfortable and operational working environment.


I have a good working relationship with all my peers and supervisors.

Sincerely,

Shawn Jones

irseg

A few points:

-"cubicle", not "cubical"

-"I told him", not "I verbally communicated with him" - being overly wordy just makes you look silly.

-"I went in to look for the power adapter but couldn’t find it and that I did not go into his box just randomly." - rewrite this so it makes sense.

Otherwise, looks good, good luck to you.

Manx

If you're going to write anything, I would only write a request for a meeting - initially without the guy who reported this as a problem (obviously such a request should not be phrased that way, simply request a meeting so that you can speak to the situation). Email/letters are VERY poor methods of communication, particularly in situations such as this.

On another note, the emails/letters that were sent reporting the problem seem to show a high level of arrogance (for instance, the author lumps himself in with managment on a number of occasions as well as speaking for many other people in the department). I don't get the impression that the person who has reported this as a problem is a part of management or is able to speak on behalf of many other people in the department. This is both a sign of the poor communication inherent to email and possibly something that could work in your favor (management doesn't like being told what it has to do by non-management, and rightfully so).

The key is to present as dispassionate a response as possible. Sincerity and clarity are key. You're not going to achieve either via email/letters and you're better off initially presenting your case without your accuser present.

smooth

Good luck to you indeed.

I'm going to reitereate my position because you, and the people here trying to help you, are focusing on this one particular issue. From your initial post, however, this one particular issue isn't the problem.

Your co-worker explained to management that not only has he never been disrespected like this in his 5 years of working in the company, but you've done this before to someone else. Apparantly, you were reprimanded for that behavior. He feels you didn't learn from that other experience.

The most damaging statement, however, is that the entire staff has had problems with you from your hire date. You claim in this last letter that you have a good working relationship with everyone. Since none of us are there, we can't know which perspective is more accurate. But if any of those other people have complained to management, your statement that everything is fine will be taken as evidence that you are not very perceptive.

My point to you is that, from the limited amount of information you've provided, there appears to be a pattern of miscommunication and tension between you and your co-workers--not just this one person.

A number of things might occur:
1) Management might decide that you acted fine in this scenario. They may feel he overreacted. Everything might settle down. You keep your job.

2) Management might decide that you acted fine in this scenario. They may feel he overreacted. They may feel that, due to underlying problems, this is just one more incident in a series of incidents and the pattern indicates that you are the problem. Even if they allow you to keep working there, your coworkers and you are increasingly incompatible, and the best thing for the company is to allow you to find somewhere else where you fit better (translation: fired).

3) Management might decide that you acted inappropriately in this situation. This fits a pattern of behavior of misbehavior and miscommunication they have been witnessing since you were hired. Your coworkers see this, report this, and despite your belief that everything is fine and everyone gets along with you, it isn't and they don't. The fact that you don't even acknowledge a problem from your end indicates to management that there isn't much hope in the problems being addressed. They decide to let you go.


Other things can happen. I don't know the entire situation. But hopefully you will consider the danger of focusing on this one issue when the initial emails clearly describe a situation of high tension and consistent incidents of miscommunication. You indicated that you want this to be your career. If so, at some point you need to address why these incidents keep occurring. Why do you have problems with this person, why does he feel you have problems with others, and why, if true, do people have problems with you?

All of these problems would be best worked out interpersonally. But it's been escalated now to the highest levels. Part of managments job is to make sure the team is compatible and communicating. Whether you are the problem or not is irrelevent to what the team thinks the problem is. That is, even if you aren't at fault, sometimes it's better to let the perceived problem go away than try and fix it, especially if the person perceived to be causing the problem doesn't appear to even acknowledge the problems he is causing.

So I'll reiterate:

Your best bet is to communicate to management that you feel this incident has been interpreted inappropriately. It's been taken out of its context and, if management looks at the record, there appears to be a pattern of miscommunication and tension between you and your peers. You would like to address those underlying causes. If you really value your job, you'll need to address them or more incidents will occur eventually. Such a statement would direct attention away from your behavior and toward the tension that you didn't necessarily cause--which is where is belongs, since your actions in this scenario shouldn't have caused such a reaction if what you are describing to us is accurate.

You and your coworkers need to sit down and discuss the issues you all feel are going on with a mediator or else you are going to keep having problems with them. All management that I have been a part considers that, even if you are right in each particular incident, if everyone is having a problem with you then you have become the problem.

Your hope is that they haven't concluded that yet. But regarless of what happens here, you need to fix people thinking you are the problem.

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

slushi999

**That being said from prior post, this is what I have modified in the end** Let me know how this sounds which I feel is the most crucial part.


"I feel this incident has been interpreted inappropriately and been taken out of its context. I have a email to verify that I tried to communicate with him to formulate a setup on setting up the switch so that we can both have functioning pcs and have a comfortable and operational working environment.


I have a good working relationship with all my peers and supervisors. I would love the opportunity to come in and talk to you face-to-face about this in further detail and answer any questions you may have. I wish to defuse this misunderstanding between Brad and I."

sob

I believe Smooth gave you 95% of what you need to know. Only you can decide if this is best handled in person or via e-mail.

My only suggestion would be that you conclude with something to the effect that a good relationship with your co-workers is important both to you and to the office, and you would greatly appreciate any help your boss can provide in resolving the matter.

Management, especially middle management, is almost required to provide help when asked, or have a darn good reason why they didn't provide it.

Disclaimer: I have very little experience in situations such as yours, so perhaps someone else may disagree with what I've said.

slushi999

All:

I wanted to appreicate everyones input. Had a meeting with my manger this morning. Everything went well. We chatted for about 5 minuutes. First I went through the whole story again of the email I sent him. I mentioned I was being considerite enough to setup both of our pcs and not just disconnecting his again. He asked what could I have done to better solve this problem. Also he mentioned to always tell the truth and he would lose respect for anyone of his coworkers if they were dishonest in the workplace. Thridly he said come to him more often and not be scared of him. And finally said to take a learning life lesson out of this. He didnt file any report on me so guess he didnt write me up? If he did I would have to sign right? Has anyone ever been written up?

When I bump into the coworker again, what should I say or is it better to just stay away and be very cautious. Should I just apolgize and say "lets just put this past behind us and move on"?

smooth

congrats.
My opinion is that you should step up to the plate and either apologize for any misunderstanding and/or lets put this behind us. learned a valuable lesson, etc. whatever you feel is appropriate. But just ignoring the situation likely won't make it go away.

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

matthew330

Just out of curiousity...how were you privy to this second e-mail? It's wording doesn't seem like seem like something the subject in question (you) would be cc'ed on. Even though your description of the situation left some room for imagination, if those are indeed his e-mails word for word, this dude is incredibly juvenile. Though i can't quit decide whether or not i like you, i know for sure.... I DO NOT LIKE HIM!! If i was his boss, he'd be gone. Your not an actor in a soap opera, your here to get shit done.

Willravel

Sure, offer to burry the hammer (or however that expression works) and put the whole thing behind you. Publicly. In your mind, make a note that this guy is a lose cannon and is likely to turn on you and other people very quickly with little or no warning. Remember that he will go to managment first, upper managment second.

Your manager doesn't want you to be scared of him? Great! Offer to take him to lunch with you and some of your friends at the office. Make friends. Let him know you are a hard worker and you are totally trustworthy. The next time your coworker wants to raise hell and throw around exaggerated accusations, you might just have an ally.

I'm still best friends with my first manager at RadioShack when I was working my way through highschool.

Minorci

I have had a lot of experience for this - office politics...

In your communication with your supervisor, make your email sound as neutral and professional as possible, send an email, then approach him/ her in person requesting a meeting regarding the email you have sent. Its good that you have attempted to resolve this with the person in contact via email - send a copy along to your manager as well so that s/he can see that you have made attempts to resolve the issue.

In the end though, you can either decided to put your tail between the legs bend over and take it, which is the safest way in most instances, or you can stand up for yourself. In this case it obviously appears that you are in the right and this person is just trying to kick up a storm over nothing.

slushi999

All:

I wanted to appreicate everyones input. Had a meeting with my manger this morning. Everything went well. We chatted for about 5 minuutes. First I went through the whole story again of the email I sent him. I mentioned I was being considerite enough to setup both of our pcs and not just disconnecting his again. He asked what could I have done to better solve this problem. Also he mentioned to always tell the truth and he would lose respect for anyone of his coworkers if they were dishonest in the workplace. Thridly he said come to him more often and not be scared of him. And finally said to take a learning life lesson out of this. He didnt file any report on me so guess he didnt write me up? If he did I would have to sign right? Has anyone ever been written up?

When I bump into the coworker again, what should I say or is it better to just stay away and be very cautious. Should I just apolgize and say "lets just put this past behind us and move on"?

Minorci

That should be up to you, i'd honestly go for the last option, shows you are man enough to try and continue a professional relationship with your colleague.