Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Corporate Backstabbing at (WorkPlace Politics)

smooth · 03-11-2005, 08:42 AM

Good luck to you indeed.

I'm going to reitereate my position because you, and the people here trying to help you, are focusing on this one particular issue. From your initial post, however, this one particular issue isn't the problem.

Your co-worker explained to management that not only has he never been disrespected like this in his 5 years of working in the company, but you've done this before to someone else. Apparantly, you were reprimanded for that behavior. He feels you didn't learn from that other experience.

The most damaging statement, however, is that the entire staff has had problems with you from your hire date. You claim in this last letter that you have a good working relationship with everyone. Since none of us are there, we can't know which perspective is more accurate. But if any of those other people have complained to management, your statement that everything is fine will be taken as evidence that you are not very perceptive.

My point to you is that, from the limited amount of information you've provided, there appears to be a pattern of miscommunication and tension between you and your co-workers--not just this one person.

A number of things might occur:
1) Management might decide that you acted fine in this scenario. They may feel he overreacted. Everything might settle down. You keep your job.

2) Management might decide that you acted fine in this scenario. They may feel he overreacted. They may feel that, due to underlying problems, this is just one more incident in a series of incidents and the pattern indicates that you are the problem. Even if they allow you to keep working there, your coworkers and you are increasingly incompatible, and the best thing for the company is to allow you to find somewhere else where you fit better (translation: fired).

3) Management might decide that you acted inappropriately in this situation. This fits a pattern of behavior of misbehavior and miscommunication they have been witnessing since you were hired. Your coworkers see this, report this, and despite your belief that everything is fine and everyone gets along with you, it isn't and they don't. The fact that you don't even acknowledge a problem from your end indicates to management that there isn't much hope in the problems being addressed. They decide to let you go.

Other things can happen. I don't know the entire situation. But hopefully you will consider the danger of focusing on this one issue when the initial emails clearly describe a situation of high tension and consistent incidents of miscommunication. You indicated that you want this to be your career. If so, at some point you need to address why these incidents keep occurring. Why do you have problems with this person, why does he feel you have problems with others, and why, if true, do people have problems with you?

All of these problems would be best worked out interpersonally. But it's been escalated now to the highest levels. Part of managments job is to make sure the team is compatible and communicating. Whether you are the problem or not is irrelevent to what the team thinks the problem is. That is, even if you aren't at fault, sometimes it's better to let the perceived problem go away than try and fix it, especially if the person perceived to be causing the problem doesn't appear to even acknowledge the problems he is causing.

So I'll reiterate:

Your best bet is to communicate to management that you feel this incident has been interpreted inappropriately. It's been taken out of its context and, if management looks at the record, there appears to be a pattern of miscommunication and tension between you and your peers. You would like to address those underlying causes. If you really value your job, you'll need to address them or more incidents will occur eventually. Such a statement would direct attention away from your behavior and toward the tension that you didn't necessarily cause--which is where is belongs, since your actions in this scenario shouldn't have caused such a reaction if what you are describing to us is accurate.

You and your coworkers need to sit down and discuss the issues you all feel are going on with a mediator or else you are going to keep having problems with them. All management that I have been a part considers that, even if you are right in each particular incident, if everyone is having a problem with you then you have become the problem.

Your hope is that they haven't concluded that yet. But regarless of what happens here, you need to fix people thinking you are the problem.

03-11-2005, 08:42 AM	#13 (permalink)
smooth Junkie Location: Right here	Good luck to you indeed. I'm going to reitereate my position because you, and the people here trying to help you, are focusing on this one particular issue. From your initial post, however, this one particular issue isn't the problem. Your co-worker explained to management that not only has he never been disrespected like this in his 5 years of working in the company, but you've done this before to someone else. Apparantly, you were reprimanded for that behavior. He feels you didn't learn from that other experience. The most damaging statement, however, is that the entire staff has had problems with you from your hire date. You claim in this last letter that you have a good working relationship with everyone. Since none of us are there, we can't know which perspective is more accurate. But if any of those other people have complained to management, your statement that everything is fine will be taken as evidence that you are not very perceptive. My point to you is that, from the limited amount of information you've provided, there appears to be a pattern of miscommunication and tension between you and your co-workers--not just this one person. A number of things might occur: 1) Management might decide that you acted fine in this scenario. They may feel he overreacted. Everything might settle down. You keep your job. 2) Management might decide that you acted fine in this scenario. They may feel he overreacted. They may feel that, due to underlying problems, this is just one more incident in a series of incidents and the pattern indicates that you are the problem. Even if they allow you to keep working there, your coworkers and you are increasingly incompatible, and the best thing for the company is to allow you to find somewhere else where you fit better (translation: fired). 3) Management might decide that you acted inappropriately in this situation. This fits a pattern of behavior of misbehavior and miscommunication they have been witnessing since you were hired. Your coworkers see this, report this, and despite your belief that everything is fine and everyone gets along with you, it isn't and they don't. The fact that you don't even acknowledge a problem from your end indicates to management that there isn't much hope in the problems being addressed. They decide to let you go. Other things can happen. I don't know the entire situation. But hopefully you will consider the danger of focusing on this one issue when the initial emails clearly describe a situation of high tension and consistent incidents of miscommunication. You indicated that you want this to be your career. If so, at some point you need to address why these incidents keep occurring. Why do you have problems with this person, why does he feel you have problems with others, and why, if true, do people have problems with you? All of these problems would be best worked out interpersonally. But it's been escalated now to the highest levels. Part of managments job is to make sure the team is compatible and communicating. Whether you are the problem or not is irrelevent to what the team thinks the problem is. That is, even if you aren't at fault, sometimes it's better to let the perceived problem go away than try and fix it, especially if the person perceived to be causing the problem doesn't appear to even acknowledge the problems he is causing. So I'll reiterate: Your best bet is to communicate to management that you feel this incident has been interpreted inappropriately. It's been taken out of its context and, if management looks at the record, there appears to be a pattern of miscommunication and tension between you and your peers. You would like to address those underlying causes. If you really value your job, you'll need to address them or more incidents will occur eventually. Such a statement would direct attention away from your behavior and toward the tension that you didn't necessarily cause--which is where is belongs, since your actions in this scenario shouldn't have caused such a reaction if what you are describing to us is accurate. You and your coworkers need to sit down and discuss the issues you all feel are going on with a mediator or else you are going to keep having problems with them. All management that I have been a part considers that, even if you are right in each particular incident, if everyone is having a problem with you then you have become the problem. Your hope is that they haven't concluded that yet. But regarless of what happens here, you need to fix people thinking you are the problem. __________________ "The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann "You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman