HoneyPot

My mom passed away in October of '04 from melanoma cancer. My father never ever helped my mom out...ever. I don't think people realize how lucky they are to have parents, even if they are seperated. I'm 21 yrs old. People my age are having the time of their lives in college and getting schnockered at the local kegger. I feel like I'm 30 and that my young years are going to slip right through my finger tips! Any advice on getting through this hard time without the ones you love?

__________________
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.

feelgood

Well, I haven't seen my own mother for almost 5 years now, although, I still do speak to her and my current job keeps me away from my family and I know exactly what you're feeling, I'm 21 too.

The truth is, I just keep away from attachments with my family and it seems to work out just fine for me. Must of my time is spent either at the University or Work, even if I am at home, I spend most of my time sitting in my room online or find a way to escape the house to someplace private for me to get high.

If I were you, I'd spend more time with Friends and other family members if possible and try to have as much as fun. Most college student at our age may go out on drinking or druggin bringe but there's other ways of having fun. Going to games, or particpating in sports event, etc is a great way to relieve yourself of pressure.

__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

maleficent

What's stopping you from going out? Even one night a week to go out and spend time with people.

It's sad that your mom died when you were so young, and your father wasn't able to care for her, you cant change that, if you want something to do, look for a support group for families of people wiht cancer, and use your experience to help them, and allow others to help you.

How are you spending this time? Working? Caring for other family members? School? What's your father's involvement in your life?

(as for you dad - I don't know you or your dad, but some people have a really hard time dealing with the dying of someone tehy love and become very detached and can't bring themself to face the death or care for that person... it's their way of protecting themselves from the hurt that will come...)

__________________

TM875

Yes, can you clarify your situation a little bit? Do you have brothers or sisters that you need to take care of? I'm assuming that you still live at home - do you have to take care of your dad?

Even if you have to work a full-time job, I still know plenty of people that go out and live full lives. Heck, I worked overnights for a few years, and never had a better time, ever. Life is what you make of it - balance the work with the fun. If you let tragedy weight you down, you'll never learn what truly makes life so valuable in the first place.

__________________
"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

HoneyPot

Heres the deal. I have sister who is 20 and thats it. We have each other. My dad and mom were divorced when I was 3. He never has been in the picture... He didn't even call and say sorry or something considerate when my mom passed. He lived 15 miles away and I haven't seen him in 13 years. Tell me how pathetic that is?!
Believe me, if my mom's death taught me anything it was to live life. Lifes way too short to just watch it fly by. You gotta live it up! Thanks for the replies... Though there weren't too many... I don't think people know what to say really... Its okay though. I understand.

__________________
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.

Willravel

I know what to say. I'm very, very sorry you lost your mother. What would she want you to do? I'll bet you $5 she wants you to be happy. Shoot, I don't even know you and I want you to be happy. Mourn your mother, but live life. 'How' you ask? Well, now might be a good time to introduce yourself to extended family. Connect with old friends and new friends. Go make new friends. Above all, be happy.

doodlebird

my dad passed away when i was in my late 20s.
i still miss him.

at times, i behave like he's still around.
i still try to please him, to make him proud, to follow the example that he set forth.
now is the time to remember all the good things your mom did.
and you don't have to put up with the stuff that annoyed you.

no matter how sad you are,
there are people out there just like you.
you will them. they will find you.
and you will deal with your lives in your own way.

sounds like you already know to keep living.
even thought she's gone,
you can still make her proud.
go on now.. git out there and do it.

xo

__________________
xoxo
doodle

HoneyPot

I apologize... Now I go back and read my posts and wonder what I was thinking. I hate it when people feel sorry for me, ya know? Maybe I shouldn't even have mentioned it. Now I'm kicking myself in the ass.... Hmmm Good times, right?

__________________
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.