loneliness - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

germanguy · 10-04-2004, 12:26 PM

i've been feeling lonely lately... i feel like no one cares about me, like i have no friends, and i just feel alone and sad and depressed...

the problem though is that i do have friends and family that care for me, yet for some reason i keep believing that they don't... i hate feeling this way, like total shit, yet i don't do anything to try to change it, i don't put in any effort to take this feeling away...

anyone have any stories or advice on how i might overcome this?

stonegrody · 10-04-2004, 01:08 PM

I have felt like this from time to time. Even though I do have friends and family who care, I feel alone a lot. In my case, I think it's because I feel that there aren't many people I can relate to or talk about things with. I also tend to isolate myself. Loneliness sucks.

But only you can pull yourself out of it. Don't sit around waiting for someone to come to your side. You need to snap out of it and go hang out with your friends. Even if you go out with someone on a one on one basis. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone about everyday shit or whatevers on your mind.

People tend to stay self involved and that may lead you to think that they don't care about you. The truth of the matter is that we're all on this earth trying to live our lives the best we can. Who knows, maybe some of your friends are feeling the same way and think that you dont care about them. Pick up the phone, call a buddy up, go out for a drink or just hang out and talk. Just remember, listen as much as you talk so that it's mutually gratifying.

Don't get too down. Try not to dwell on it. Get out and do something. That's usually all it takes.

Suave · 10-04-2004, 03:56 PM

If you're going to go out for a drink, and you're still in this state of mind, make sure you don't drink too much; alcohol can have the effect of intensifying whichever mood you happen to be in. Anyways, I'd say just try doing things with your family or friends. Invite someone to dinner, a movie, whichever other cliched thing I can think of... OHH A PICNIC! I personally feel that meditating helps a lot as well, during any type of emotional strain, but just beginning to meditate right now probably won't help much, as it's important to improve one's meditative technique to gain results.

william · 10-04-2004, 06:48 PM

Only you can answer this, but WTF? Why do you feel this way? You say you have family and friends, so why can't you feel the love around them? And the number 1 question is, why can't you feel the love for yourself? Listen up, Cowboy - it's your life. Live it. The only one truly responsible for your hapiness is yourself. Deal w/it. Shit happens, one way or the other. If you feel let down and lonely for (insert reason), figure out why that should matter so much. Then figure out why that should matter so much. It's your life - take control of it.

chromanin · 10-05-2004, 04:37 AM

We're all alone, my friend. That's why having people care about us sometimes isn't enough -- if we don't care about ourselves. You need to keep in mind that you are a worthwhile person, and that your potential demands to be explored. Once you're happier with yourself, the caring you receive from others will simply sweeten life that much more.

2sheds · 10-05-2004, 03:17 PM

depression can be overwhelming, unreasonable, and illogical. i've dealt with it for years myself. my advice - get some professional help. a doctor, psychiatrist, or counsellor can help you identify some of the sources and determine if medication or therapy would help.

personally, i take some medication and see a counsellor regularly. the medication really helps me, and i find having someone to talk to that is not at all involved in other aspects of my life (counsellor) to be helpful.

anyway, my $.02

theusername · 10-05-2004, 08:42 PM

Germanguy, try making a (real or mental) list of what and who's important to you in your life. Think about the times someone has done something nice for you or thanked you for doing something nice for them. Life is about improving other people's lives and them improving yours, think of how this has happened. I'm sure your going to beat this minor depression but if the feeling still doesn't go away seek professional help.

gondath · 10-06-2004, 11:56 AM

The best advice is to get the idea out of your head that your happiness is somehow dependant on other people. You don't need other people to validate your existence. Learn to control your own emotions, and you'll be free to do and feel whatever you want. Don't go seek professional help for this unless it persists for the better part of a year almost constantly.

kingbobo · 10-12-2004, 10:53 AM

I get that way too. I have all my life. But for me when I start feeling it I tell my self that it is totally irrational, and I think about all the times in the past I'ver felt that way and gotten through it. I know for me it's totally internal, I could be with my best friends at my favorite bar, but I'll feel off to the side and alone. I've learned to get myself through it. I think you just need to find your own way.

10-04-2004, 12:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
germanguy Upright	loneliness i've been feeling lonely lately... i feel like no one cares about me, like i have no friends, and i just feel alone and sad and depressed... the problem though is that i do have friends and family that care for me, yet for some reason i keep believing that they don't... i hate feeling this way, like total shit, yet i don't do anything to try to change it, i don't put in any effort to take this feeling away... anyone have any stories or advice on how i might overcome this?

10-04-2004, 01:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
stonegrody Brooding. Location: CA-USA	I have felt like this from time to time. Even though I do have friends and family who care, I feel alone a lot. In my case, I think it's because I feel that there aren't many people I can relate to or talk about things with. I also tend to isolate myself. Loneliness sucks. But only you can pull yourself out of it. Don't sit around waiting for someone to come to your side. You need to snap out of it and go hang out with your friends. Even if you go out with someone on a one on one basis. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone about everyday shit or whatevers on your mind. People tend to stay self involved and that may lead you to think that they don't care about you. The truth of the matter is that we're all on this earth trying to live our lives the best we can. Who knows, maybe some of your friends are feeling the same way and think that you dont care about them. Pick up the phone, call a buddy up, go out for a drink or just hang out and talk. Just remember, listen as much as you talk so that it's mutually gratifying. Don't get too down. Try not to dwell on it. Get out and do something. That's usually all it takes. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember. We are eternal. All this pain is an illusion. Tool - Parabola

10-05-2004, 03:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
2sheds Crazy Location: dfw - texas	depression can be overwhelming, unreasonable, and illogical. i've dealt with it for years myself. my advice - get some professional help. a doctor, psychiatrist, or counsellor can help you identify some of the sources and determine if medication or therapy would help. personally, i take some medication and see a counsellor regularly. the medication really helps me, and i find having someone to talk to that is not at all involved in other aspects of my life (counsellor) to be helpful. anyway, my $.02 __________________ Depression is just anger without enthusiasm. It’s having an empty beer bottle but no one to throw it at.

10-05-2004, 08:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
theusername Insane	Germanguy, try making a (real or mental) list of what and who's important to you in your life. Think about the times someone has done something nice for you or thanked you for doing something nice for them. Life is about improving other people's lives and them improving yours, think of how this has happened. I'm sure your going to beat this minor depression but if the feeling still doesn't go away seek professional help. __________________ ?

10-12-2004, 10:53 AM	#9 (permalink)
kingbobo Crazy Location: over by that thing . . . no the other one	I get that way too. I have all my life. But for me when I start feeling it I tell my self that it is totally irrational, and I think about all the times in the past I'ver felt that way and gotten through it. I know for me it's totally internal, I could be with my best friends at my favorite bar, but I'll feel off to the side and alone. I've learned to get myself through it. I think you just need to find your own way. __________________ I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you. - Jack Handey "welcome to the collapse of civilization. Have a beer." goats.com

10-04-2004, 03:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	If you're going to go out for a drink, and you're still in this state of mind, make sure you don't drink too much; alcohol can have the effect of intensifying whichever mood you happen to be in. Anyways, I'd say just try doing things with your family or friends. Invite someone to dinner, a movie, whichever other cliched thing I can think of... OHH A PICNIC! I personally feel that meditating helps a lot as well, during any type of emotional strain, but just beginning to meditate right now probably won't help much, as it's important to improve one's meditative technique to gain results.

10-04-2004, 06:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
william Psycho	Only you can answer this, but WTF? Why do you feel this way? You say you have family and friends, so why can't you feel the love around them? And the number 1 question is, why can't you feel the love for yourself? Listen up, Cowboy - it's your life. Live it. The only one truly responsible for your hapiness is yourself. Deal w/it. Shit happens, one way or the other. If you feel let down and lonely for (insert reason), figure out why that should matter so much. Then figure out why that should matter so much. It's your life - take control of it.

10-05-2004, 04:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
chromanin Upright Location: Canada	We're all alone, my friend. That's why having people care about us sometimes isn't enough -- if we don't care about ourselves. You need to keep in mind that you are a worthwhile person, and that your potential demands to be explored. Once you're happier with yourself, the caring you receive from others will simply sweeten life that much more.

10-06-2004, 11:56 AM	#8 (permalink)
gondath Insane Location: Alton, IL	The best advice is to get the idea out of your head that your happiness is somehow dependant on other people. You don't need other people to validate your existence. Learn to control your own emotions, and you'll be free to do and feel whatever you want. Don't go seek professional help for this unless it persists for the better part of a year almost constantly.