asudevil83

i think i am one of those guys who is just plain too nice. it makes absolutely no sense, and its kinda disheartening.

we all know that in most cases nice guys finish last when it comes to getting the girls. its always the bad boy who gets the action. you could have me, an attractive fun NICE guy, and stand me up to a COCKY bad boy who is half as attractive and who would the majority of the girls pick? i'll give you a hint....NOT ME. WHY? girls have their reasons. and i have to admit that guys do follow the same rules.

but in thinking about this, i have come up with a pretty fucking big dilema. it seems that the obvious thing to do would be to change the image that people have of me. how can i do that?

first of all, I AM A NICE GUY. i dont act like a nice guy, i just am. is it wrong to not be who i am just to get some ass?

second of all, i cannot see myself any different than i am. i dont know how to be the cocky kind of guy. and if i were to manage to be the bad boy, the nice guy in me would always be in the back of my mind asking "is this who i am?" and telling myself that this isnt right. i would see myself as "selling out." musicians do it for the money, and i would be doing the same thing for the pussy.

so i ask you, WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? am i stuck, forever to be that nice guy who everyone loves (as a friend) while others are out there getting laid?
how the hell do you convey the cocky badboy image?
and most importantly, how would you look at a friend who did this?

slimshaydee

1. There are a million other threads about this
2. As has been said on the board, girls like guys with confidence. Nice guys generally lack confidence
3. Be positive, go talk to some chicks at a bar, at the laundromat or whatever, you'll eventually get lucky, and you'll gain alot of confidence doing it aswell

st33lr4t

i think there are two different "nice guys".

the first being the nice guy that will say/do whatever the girl wants because he has no confidence in himself and seems kind of desperate.

the second being the nice guy who does what he wants and speaks his mind because he is confident and knows he doesnt need the girl.

so if your the no spine type nice guy you just need to grow some balls and start being yourself regardless of what the oposite sex thinks. you're only kidding yourself in the long run if you are being a nice guy because you lack confidence and you think the oposite sex will "like" you more if you act this way.

Cynthetiq

One day I learned how to transition from the first Nice Guy to the latter Nice Guy... and the latter nice guy had more chicks than he knew what to do with

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

kurty[B]

TRUTH

NotMinus

You are fishing for excuses on why you aren't succeding.

These people you label as badboys, only half good looking and cocky are just niceguys who have enough confidence to be the person they want to be. They are not doing anything wrong.

You sound really judgemental from your post and you also sound like you have little self confidence. You need to stop judging other people, why would anyone support you being who you want to be if you can't let other people live their lives the way they choose. The problem is not what a women is looking for, its that you have already decided its not you and that you need to change for them to like you. Everything in life, all your interactions stem from your confidence not your image, that falls apart when you take a step or open your mouth. Your last sentence is worst of all, its illustrates the heart of the problem, worrying about others perceptions. You need to be the person you want to be and if your 'freinds' can't support that you need to find new people that entertain and support you. The problem is not society, its not other badboys, its not that nobody likes niceguys, it all stems from your own sense of self.

Nisses

hehehehe, I love how this whole theme got so thoroughly beaten to death, that today, people go against them, where before, you'd get a bunch of em jumping onboard or patting him on the back

at any rate, st33lr4t and Cynthetiq pretty much nailed it

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

Cynthetiq

my transitional tool was being celibate for 3.5 years... goal was 5 years.

But during that time, I could not keep the women away. go figure.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

assilem

Nice is associated with being a push over. A total turn off. I used to be a nice guy until my x from way back when cheated on me and then stabbed me. I stopped giving a shit about girls for a long time. Until I met my wife. We had known each other for a time but all of the sudden she found me uber hot. I just did not care. And cocky is different than confident as slimshadyee said. Good luck to ya buddy. Start caring more about the sex than the girl also. That helps.

__________________
The mother of mankind, what time his pride
Had cast him out from Heaven, with all his host
Of rebel Angels

jaco

I think ill beat the dead horse a bit more. You dont need advice you already know what to do. You dont do these things out of fear of embarrasment and rejection. Just get past the idea that you are a "nice" guy and you will do alot better.

__________________
"How soft your fields so green, Can whisper tales of gore"
"Thou art god"

animosity

It is all about confidence... I am a very nice guy... but I have confidence, some say too much... Just go after the girl. dont wait around cause the second you do that some other guy will come in and steal her.

asudevil83

yeah, after reading over my original post today, i realized that i was in an extremely shitty mood, and very cynical of pretty much everything. i think i myself had some pretty bad judgment in posting what i did. i was just in a bad mood and needed to vent, and this place gives me somewhere to do just that, where i can just share my feelings.

Both Cynthetiq and st33lr4t gave me something to ponder over, and i thank you for that. i'm feeling much better now.