Jesus Pimp

Anyone have one? I think I may. As a kid I was teased often by people at school. People always looked at me funny whereever I went. My parents always told me I was stupid and worthless. So I always felt like I wasn't good enough. Now I'm 24 and all that is behind me but I believed that I've developed an inferiority complex. The only way I've found to have confidence in myself is feel like I'm better than everyone else. I'm not like this among my friends thankfully or else I wouldn't have any friends. I have come to terms with this and I don't want to be like this the rest of my life. Anyone have any advice on how I can get over this?

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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

Nisses

When will humans realise they're all equally inferior to robots

seriously, I don't know of any valid tips apart from consulting an expert. You don't need to go to a regular weekly appointment, but you could contact him for a one-time appointment and ask for a few tips or suggestions.

Also, realise most people are alot less than what they think they are. They put up a front and after a while believe they *are* the front. Believe for yourself that you're just as good as them, or even better for beginning with yourself, and making your own self-image on the real you, instead of some mask that people throw together and try to fit in.

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

clavus

Try to feel comfortable with the fact that you are what you are. You suck at some things and excell at others...just like everybody else. That's cool. Try to have a sense of humor about the things you don't do well. Try not to base your self concept on the things you do well.

Best of luck.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Leviathan[NCV]

Did this come up after you talked to me?

Ok sorry...

To be honest, nobody is perfect, there is no reason to look down upon yourself, just think about how many people are stupider, uglier, and lazier then you.
Works for me anyways....

anti fishstick

it's a balance. everyone has their own life baggages. it's good to know you at least recognize yours.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

skysooner

I agree with fishstick. I was the same way. Everyone made fun of me, because I was somewhat skinny, pale, and set the curve in every class I took. I was also dying to be part of the "in-crowd". I had my friends who knew the "real" me. I went to college, did very well academically and in my fraternity. Yet I still felt "inferior". This carried over to my first job where I compensated in a manner such as you describe (acting superior). I got laid off 2 years later in a downsizing which caused me to evaluate who I was and what I wanted out of life. I started over in a new town and new company. Since then, I worked on me. I did everything to improve myself (take more college courses, speaking classes, saw a psychologist to learn how to speak to people). It was only then that I was able to succeed professionally (when I wasn't trying so hard to please others and just did my job to the best of my ability). It was only through this searching that I was able to finally discover who I was and what my limitations were. This was when I was about 30. I think part of what your feeling is just the age and a normal part of maturation. When you graduate college, high school, etc. and enter the real world you think you have to have it all together. Rarely is this the case. It takes time to develop enough to really understand yourself. Good luck with the search.

lurkette

I hate to quote the old cliche from Eleanor Roosevelt about "nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" but look, I've just gone and done it.

Part of the issue is learning to recognize that whatever these people said to you, you believed. Kids teased you, your parents were assholes (sorry - that's the worst), and you didn't know any better so you believed them. That's fine, because you were a kid, but now you're an adult and you're still carrying around these other children's opinions of you like they're the truth. Trying to be better than everyone is just playing the same game - you're still trapped inside their definition of you, trying desperately to get out. You don't believe for a minute that you're better than them, that's why you have to try so hard to prove otherwise.

I think skysooner's advice to simply do your best and recognize the fulfillment in that is good advice. You might also sit down and look at what's important to you. Part of an "inferiority complex" is living by other peoples' values, and falling short of them in your own mind if not in reality. Look at what qualities are important to you, and strive to cultivate those in yourself. Use those as your yardstick for how you're doing. If you're not 100% perfect, it's okay because you're human. The important part is that you are living by your own standards and trying to be the best you can be on your own terms, not on someone else's.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Cynthetiq

lurkette resonates it... it's boiled down in the desiderata

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xrayvisor

It has been recently suggested to me that I may suffer from this as well. Initially, I was shocked, but at the same time, there was another part of me that understood that there were elements of truth to this. Then I found myself looking for ways to dismiss the idea and convince myself and others that this could not be the case. I'm sure there are varying degrees of IC that run through just about everyone, but to Jesus Pimp only you know how deep these feelings actually run. If you feel that it is important enough to mention and seek advice on, do not dismiss your own feelings and think that a few kind words to yourself will be sufficient - seek out someone who can really help, a professional who can help you explore and demystify the underlying causes of your feelings - most people do not know what kind of guidance to provide here. But left unchecked, this kind of problem can actually get worse over time and lead to greater problems (as it has with me). I'm 37 years old, and totally identify with Skysooner - I went through almost identical life-events. I too went through a layoff, and conducted myself in a similar way, that basically led to me distancing and alienating myself from others - a tactic I've employed all my life - I've quietly struggled with these feelings in junior high and high school, some in college, and into the workplace. And now, again, I am at a point in my life where things could seemingly fall apart for me altogether for not dealing with these issues sooner - my marriage and job are threatened, along with my peace. The mind is incredibly complex and it is dangerous to underestimate the implications for ignoring feelings of low self-worth, etc. - literally, it is your own personal success or failure in the world that is at stake. For me, this kind of problem will require deeper self examination and the help of a professional. As with any problem-solving, before you can go about fixing anything, you have to first understand what the problem is. You've already recognized that a problem may exist - the next step is in learning more about it, how severe it is, and what the contributing factors are - only after making some observations and drawing some conclusions can you come up with short-term and long-term solutions that will hold. The positive self-talk may help you feel better in the immediate, but not sure if it will offer much long-term, because the root may run deeper. Good luck JP I hope you find some resolution and answers - self-work can be very rewarding and enlightening.

Plan9

Here, you can borrow my self-help book:

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

mfh

I've got a solution to your problems. Just always keep in mind the fact that I am, and always will be, better than you.

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mike

tecoyah

I have found the perspective we use to look at the larger picture goes a long way toward maintaining individual Ego. Once we understand that all aspects of day to day life are actually required parts of a continuous path of becoming better people, the negatives tend to look more positive. This has a wonderful effect on how we see ourselves, in that we tend to recognize any fault as an opportunity for growth, and use it to become more.....rather than dwell on it as a failure.
Each and every one of us carry much that is great, unique, and incredibly cool. The main part of a weak Ego comes into play when we stop paying attention to those things we love about ourselves in favor of the things we might not. Its a human tendency to grab onto the negatives and bed them, rather than change them with a form of inner compassion. It's amazing what happens when we can recognize and embrace who we really are, even if its only to correct the parts we don't want anymore.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

Ourcrazymodern?

Change your user-name and read my signature.

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