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I agree with fishstick. I was the same way. Everyone made fun of me, because I was somewhat skinny, pale, and set the curve in every class I took. I was also dying to be part of the "in-crowd". I had my friends who knew the "real" me. I went to college, did very well academically and in my fraternity. Yet I still felt "inferior". This carried over to my first job where I compensated in a manner such as you describe (acting superior). I got laid off 2 years later in a downsizing which caused me to evaluate who I was and what I wanted out of life. I started over in a new town and new company. Since then, I worked on me. I did everything to improve myself (take more college courses, speaking classes, saw a psychologist to learn how to speak to people). It was only then that I was able to succeed professionally (when I wasn't trying so hard to please others and just did my job to the best of my ability). It was only through this searching that I was able to finally discover who I was and what my limitations were. This was when I was about 30. I think part of what your feeling is just the age and a normal part of maturation. When you graduate college, high school, etc. and enter the real world you think you have to have it all together. Rarely is this the case. It takes time to develop enough to really understand yourself. Good luck with the search.
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