Anger Management, outbursts, violent behavior. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

butthead · 08-02-2003, 06:43 PM

Greetings fellow TFP'ers.

I have problems with anger management. My explosive behavior is episodic rather than chronic, but sometimes I have real problems controlling what I do and say.

How many of us here believe they could benefit greatly from exercising more control?

What are the methods you use to help yourself (and if it's bad enough, other people)?

Today I had an episode. Really bad; punching walls, punching my head, yelling, walking outside seeking someone to fight with. Strangely enough, it was over my dissatisfaction with the sex I just had (I think it is ironic one would be so upset after having having sex).

I think some of this may be linked to the new medication I am taking (my behavior has been increasingly violent/aggressive when provoked, as the label indicates as a side effect). I took a very large dose of it a few nights ago and since I have had one other episode (two episodes in three days is too much). I place responsibility on myself, but I know to not judge myself for it.

I'm really happy for myself when I know I controlled myself well when I knew I was approaching my "beserk limit".

I am an 18 year old male. I have heard from credible sources that the described behavior happens mostly in my age and sex population (young males). Do you have any opinions or input on this?

Mephisto2 · 08-02-2003, 06:53 PM

First thing first butthead,

Congratulations and thanks for sharing with us your very interesting and well written post. It's a credit to you.

Secondly, you said that your current medication has increased aggression and violent behaviour as a side effect? I'm surprised. I can only presume this is the lesser of two evils (ie, you need to take the medication for something else that's worse).

You seem to certainly have the right attitude and frame of mind. You realise that this is not a problem with you "as a person", and most importantly you accept that there is something you need to work on. That's more than half the battle mate.

I can't offer you any professional advice, but I think it would be an excellent idea to seek some. I don't mean that in a dodgy way! Just see if you can talk to someone who is trained in helping people with anger problems. It's a known issue and there are tips and tricks in how to handle it.

I'm very impressed you took the time and effort to come here and post this message, so I'm confident you can work towards addressing this issue.

Go for it mate!

Mr Mephisto

tardka · 08-02-2003, 07:01 PM

Well, I used to have anger problems when I was younger, then I had a traumatic experience that changed all of that, but I wouldn't recommend doing such a thing to solve the problem.

tinfoil · 08-02-2003, 07:09 PM

I can't offer you alot of advice other than the advice offered to me by my anger councilor a nunber of years ago. Think.

I find that music helps me to calm down alot, as does driving. Get yourself a pair of headphones (no point in punishing neighbours or S.O.'s with loud music) and find something that you can truly connect with. I find it depends on how angry I am. Sometimes something mellow like Perfect Circle or Gandharvas and sometimes I will need something like Fear Factory or RATM. A friend rides his bike.

Different people will have different relaxing activities and music may not be yours.

Now, your problems may be brought on by medication and that may be a different situation altogether. You should definatly seek some professional advice. Consult with the doctor who put you on this medication.

I used to have extreme outbursts (luckily only on inanimate objects, so the only person I hurt was myself). I spent some time with a councilor and in the 14 or so years since I don't think I have had more than 5 such outbreaks. It also helps if your friends and family are willing to work with you on this.

Mephisto2 · 08-02-2003, 08:13 PM

The problem will also most likely decrease as you age.

You're absolutely correct in saying that being an 18yr old male (full of testosterone) probably exacerbates the issue!

Mr Mephisto

Konichiwaneko · 08-03-2003, 12:30 AM

I would highly suggest martial arts for you.

Go in it not expecting the fighting side, but more the controlling and understanding of your body.

Have you ever just lifted your arm in front of you and just moved it at will? Amazing isn't it? you can tell your body to do whatever you want it too. I know it sounds like ranting but martial arts trains you to have a clear mind and body. Being angry is natural, but what does it help in the long run?

LewisCouch · 08-03-2003, 08:02 AM

There are many anger management techniques, and I am no means a professional, however, having had a few of my own "outbursts" I can tell you what helped me. This is by no means a panacea, it just helps.

Learn some basic breathing techniques. Believe it or not, you can physically calm yourself by consciously breathing in a specific manner. Slow, long deep breaths, counting to ten while exhaling, etc., will have a very calming effect.

You will win this battle as you have recognized that you have a problem. Good luck,

ratbastid · 08-03-2003, 02:13 PM

Just scream at the top of your lungs: "<B>SERENITY NOW!!!!!</b>"

zfleebin · 08-03-2003, 03:19 PM

I have a lot of ideas but I gotta ask you questions first. First off are you willing to say what medication your on because it sounds like something somewhere doenst fit and if its the pills that are agitating your anger you might benefit from something else. Second are you afraid or really bothered by your outbursts?( I know you posted here which says you have some concern but how far does it go??)

butthead · 08-03-2003, 06:17 PM

Quote:

First off are you willing to say what medication your on because it sounds like something somewhere doenst fit and if its the pills that are agitating your anger you might benefit from something else.

My medication is Klonopin. If the Klonopin is exacerbating my anger (paradoxical reaction), that is something I am willing to deal with. Klonopin is a benzodiazepine, similar to drugs like Valium and Xanax. Klonopin is designed for seizure control, due to its long half-life, but I am using it to prevent panic attacks and to help control chronic anxiety (very effectively).

For those who do not know, in a nutshell, benzodiazepines inhibit neurotransmission in certain areas of your brain like the amygdala, which are the origin of panic reactions ("fight or flight") and behavior during social interaction.

Before Klonopin, I used to be afraid to get into fights. I would shake knowing one was coming, but now it seems as if I am made from iron. I think this new absense of anxiety might explain my new willingness to seek out people to hurt. I don't know.

Before Klonopin, when I was living with my mom a few months ago, I suffered very severe violent manic episodes, often requiring hospitalization (the "loony bin" sucks). The last night I was at my mom's house I was in a pretty weird manic state. I was going to burst into my mom's bedroom at around 3 AM with a knife and stab her boyfriend to death. I told a friend about this over AIM and within 5 minutes cops are knocking at the door, guns and handcuffs ready.

Since taking Klonopin I cannot clearly remember having a manic episode (although, I may have had a manic episode anywaym, Klonopin GREATLY affects my memory). On the whole, my outbursts have lost much intensity. They used to be really bad. I used to burn myself, things, try to burn other people, try to stab other people, making plans to stab a cop at the expense of getting shot, etc. They used to be really scary.

zfleebin · 08-04-2003, 07:44 PM

Klonopin(clonazepam) is closer to valium than xanax because it increases the action of GABA neurotransmission. Still, I dont think it would have any effect on your anger or mania. It sounds to me like you might get more from treating the bipolar disorder before the anxiety because uncontrolled mood swings tend to be expressed externally while anxiety is an internal issue. Are you in contact with a psychiatrist who knows about your manic episodes? This isnt a problem that will be easily controlled without immediately attending to your mood swings. I would suggest that you get in touch with your doctor or a psychiatrist and tell them about your mania. If you dont wish to do this I could recommend looking for any behavioral psychologists offering assertiveness training. But I really really suggest meeting up with a psychiatrist.

lafemmefatale · 08-05-2003, 09:45 AM

count backwards from 10...or 100 depends on how pissed you are...and think only about that.

it's also a trick to help me from throwing up

butthead · 08-05-2003, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Klonopin(clonazepam) is closer to valium than xanax because it increases the action of GABA neurotransmission.

All benzodiazepines affect all benzodiazepine receptors and have very similar pharmacology. Valium also enhances GABA transmission. Benzodiazepines and paradoxical reactions are well documented.

These are not "uncontrolled mood swings", more an explosive outburst when provoked. While mania is still a concern, GABAergic drugs like BZs are effective in treating mania and I feel this issue is more about poorly controlled anger than something like mania.

Quote:

But I really really suggest meeting up with a psychiatrist.

Why? What good could a county worker possibly do? Give me a prescription for Effexor?

zfleebin · 08-05-2003, 11:41 AM

What are you considering mania? I think that might be where we are not understanding each other. Beyond that I was suggesting seeing a psychiatrist because self medicating isnt an exact science and when you say things like " I took a very large dose of it a few nights ago and since I have had one other episode (two episodes in three days is too much)." it makes me wonder if your not agitating the problem. I have no urge to argue though I just wanted to give you some ideas. Have a nice day

butthead · 08-05-2003, 12:46 PM

I can be manic without being violent, that isn't the point and I'm not going to go any further differentiating mania from other things. For purposes of this discussion, mania is something where I see everything as being "fine", although they may not be. When I'm really angry, I will do and say things I will later regret, but while doing them there is a persisting doubt in my head that I am very upset and that I can control my behavior.

If you want to talk about self-medication, psychiatry isn't much of a science either. Self-medication has its risks and benefits, so does psychiatry, but to negate it all (self-medication or psychiatry) would be naive. Self-medication works out when I take my medication, but getting my drugs through a pharmacy isn't going to instantly make me remember to take my medication. Bringing that up, I now realize that I haven't remembered to take my medication (antidepressants) for the past week. This next week I will be abstaining from Klonopin entirely (to lower blood levels so I can start the regimen correctly) and will be taking my antidepressants.

Heaven or hell · 09-03-2004, 07:25 AM

Hi my name is Ian and i am new to this Forum.

This is serious so i would be grateful to anyone who will read it all.

I came to find help as i have had too many years of terrible thoughts and ideas about whoever has annoyed me. I become that green eyes monster who just wants to hurt and hate.

Example:
This week, my girlfriend didnt call me when she said she would. She was out with friends and simply forgot. My response was to turn my phone off after some nasty messages to her, then go for a day out with a friend who she doesnt think much of,and not speak to her all day, and finally i became explosive and nasty because i felt rejected she didnt want me to be at her party that night! (who can blame her too).I ended the relationship which caused her to cry for 2 days, and then i go over and try to explain i have to do something about my problem. She was not to blame in any way for this and i blamed myself,, however its just another episode for her and i have probably had my last chance. This i accept.

Most times i think in my mind of the voilence i want to happen and also to erase any logical reason about anything.. I cannot control my tepmer in any way whatso ever once i have lost it.

I have booked an meeting at my doctors for this wednesday as it is clearly spinning out of control. I wonder if i have some sort of disorder, or that i am possibly Schizophrenic.
The very next day,sometimes just a few hours later, i regret what i have said and explain it all. I blame myself totally and i do recognise i have a problem.

The other times apart from this i am the most loving caring person in the whole wide world, and would help anyone i can..but it takes almost nothing for me to change and become seriously aggressive and angry.
This will usually last for a day or so.

I have a slight nervous twitch and also Involuntary movements
which i was born with after a sugar deficiency at 1 week old. It is a rare codition called Gilles de la Tourette.

I am seriously worried now and i believe i have peaked my 'beserk limit' and i will probably loose everything i have eventually.

Please please does anyone have any ideas or advise. I am at my lowest, ever.

Thank so much you for reading.
Ian

pocon1 · 09-03-2004, 10:37 AM

First of all, I have empathy for both of you. I know that I have never gotten as angry as you, butthead, and I have not been on medication (or needed it) so I cannot really know what you are going through. As far as what little advice I can give you, it mostly deals with recognizing my place in the world. Oftentimes, I feel superior to others, like when I am driving. It is almost like people are tring to drive stupid. I have to accept that there are different people and skill levels in the world. Or at work, my boss is not out to get me. She may make stupid decisions occasionally, but she is not trying to sabotage my life. She is just too stupid to listen, and I cannot control that. This has all sounded pretty arrogant, so far. I do recognize that others have skills and abilities that I do not have. I just have to remember that most people are not intentionnaly trying to cause me strife. i have to sit back, take a breath, and try to understand their side of the situation. In some ways it changes as you get older, but my wife complains about my behavior sometimes.

08-02-2003, 06:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
butthead Loser Location: SF Bay Area, CA	Anger Management, outbursts, violent behavior. Greetings fellow TFP'ers. I have problems with anger management. My explosive behavior is episodic rather than chronic, but sometimes I have real problems controlling what I do and say. How many of us here believe they could benefit greatly from exercising more control? What are the methods you use to help yourself (and if it's bad enough, other people)? Today I had an episode. Really bad; punching walls, punching my head, yelling, walking outside seeking someone to fight with. Strangely enough, it was over my dissatisfaction with the sex I just had (I think it is ironic one would be so upset after having having sex). I think some of this may be linked to the new medication I am taking (my behavior has been increasingly violent/aggressive when provoked, as the label indicates as a side effect). I took a very large dose of it a few nights ago and since I have had one other episode (two episodes in three days is too much). I place responsibility on myself, but I know to not judge myself for it. I'm really happy for myself when I know I controlled myself well when I knew I was approaching my "beserk limit". I am an 18 year old male. I have heard from credible sources that the described behavior happens mostly in my age and sex population (young males). Do you have any opinions or input on this?

08-02-2003, 07:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
tinfoil Fucking Hostile Location: Springford, ON, Canada	I can't offer you alot of advice other than the advice offered to me by my anger councilor a nunber of years ago. Think. I find that music helps me to calm down alot, as does driving. Get yourself a pair of headphones (no point in punishing neighbours or S.O.'s with loud music) and find something that you can truly connect with. I find it depends on how angry I am. Sometimes something mellow like Perfect Circle or Gandharvas and sometimes I will need something like Fear Factory or RATM. A friend rides his bike. Different people will have different relaxing activities and music may not be yours. Now, your problems may be brought on by medication and that may be a different situation altogether. You should definatly seek some professional advice. Consult with the doctor who put you on this medication. I used to have extreme outbursts (luckily only on inanimate objects, so the only person I hurt was myself). I spent some time with a councilor and in the 14 or so years since I don't think I have had more than 5 such outbreaks. It also helps if your friends and family are willing to work with you on this. __________________ Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

08-03-2003, 12:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	I would highly suggest martial arts for you. Go in it not expecting the fighting side, but more the controlling and understanding of your body. Have you ever just lifted your arm in front of you and just moved it at will? Amazing isn't it? you can tell your body to do whatever you want it too. I know it sounds like ranting but martial arts trains you to have a clear mind and body. Being angry is natural, but what does it help in the long run? __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.

08-03-2003, 08:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
LewisCouch Insane Location: Pacific NW	There are many anger management techniques, and I am no means a professional, however, having had a few of my own "outbursts" I can tell you what helped me. This is by no means a panacea, it just helps. Learn some basic breathing techniques. Believe it or not, you can physically calm yourself by consciously breathing in a specific manner. Slow, long deep breaths, counting to ten while exhaling, etc., will have a very calming effect. You will win this battle as you have recognized that you have a problem. Good luck, __________________ "The gift of liberty is like that of a horse, handsome, strong, and high-spirited. In some it arouses a wish to ride; in many others, on the contrary, it increases the desire to walk." -- Massimo d'Azeglio

08-05-2003, 09:45 AM	#12 (permalink)
lafemmefatale Insane Location: Vancouver	count backwards from 10...or 100 depends on how pissed you are...and think only about that. it's also a trick to help me from throwing up __________________ -poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-

08-02-2003, 06:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	First thing first butthead, Congratulations and thanks for sharing with us your very interesting and well written post. It's a credit to you. Secondly, you said that your current medication has increased aggression and violent behaviour as a side effect? I'm surprised. I can only presume this is the lesser of two evils (ie, you need to take the medication for something else that's worse). You seem to certainly have the right attitude and frame of mind. You realise that this is not a problem with you "as a person", and most importantly you accept that there is something you need to work on. That's more than half the battle mate. I can't offer you any professional advice, but I think it would be an excellent idea to seek some. I don't mean that in a dodgy way! Just see if you can talk to someone who is trained in helping people with anger problems. It's a known issue and there are tips and tricks in how to handle it. I'm very impressed you took the time and effort to come here and post this message, so I'm confident you can work towards addressing this issue. Go for it mate! Mr Mephisto

08-02-2003, 07:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
tardka Tilted	Well, I used to have anger problems when I was younger, then I had a traumatic experience that changed all of that, but I wouldn't recommend doing such a thing to solve the problem.

08-02-2003, 08:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mephisto2 Junkie	The problem will also most likely decrease as you age. You're absolutely correct in saying that being an 18yr old male (full of testosterone) probably exacerbates the issue! Mr Mephisto

08-03-2003, 02:13 PM	#8 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Just scream at the top of your lungs: "<B>SERENITY NOW!!!!!</b>"

08-03-2003, 03:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
zfleebin Addict	I have a lot of ideas but I gotta ask you questions first. First off are you willing to say what medication your on because it sounds like something somewhere doenst fit and if its the pills that are agitating your anger you might benefit from something else. Second are you afraid or really bothered by your outbursts?( I know you posted here which says you have some concern but how far does it go??)

08-04-2003, 07:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
zfleebin Addict	Klonopin(clonazepam) is closer to valium than xanax because it increases the action of GABA neurotransmission. Still, I dont think it would have any effect on your anger or mania. It sounds to me like you might get more from treating the bipolar disorder before the anxiety because uncontrolled mood swings tend to be expressed externally while anxiety is an internal issue. Are you in contact with a psychiatrist who knows about your manic episodes? This isnt a problem that will be easily controlled without immediately attending to your mood swings. I would suggest that you get in touch with your doctor or a psychiatrist and tell them about your mania. If you dont wish to do this I could recommend looking for any behavioral psychologists offering assertiveness training. But I really really suggest meeting up with a psychiatrist.

08-05-2003, 11:41 AM	#14 (permalink)
zfleebin Addict	What are you considering mania? I think that might be where we are not understanding each other. Beyond that I was suggesting seeing a psychiatrist because self medicating isnt an exact science and when you say things like " I took a very large dose of it a few nights ago and since I have had one other episode (two episodes in three days is too much)." it makes me wonder if your not agitating the problem. I have no urge to argue though I just wanted to give you some ideas. Have a nice day

08-05-2003, 12:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
butthead Loser Location: SF Bay Area, CA	I can be manic without being violent, that isn't the point and I'm not going to go any further differentiating mania from other things. For purposes of this discussion, mania is something where I see everything as being "fine", although they may not be. When I'm really angry, I will do and say things I will later regret, but while doing them there is a persisting doubt in my head that I am very upset and that I can control my behavior. If you want to talk about self-medication, psychiatry isn't much of a science either. Self-medication has its risks and benefits, so does psychiatry, but to negate it all (self-medication or psychiatry) would be naive. Self-medication works out when I take my medication, but getting my drugs through a pharmacy isn't going to instantly make me remember to take my medication. Bringing that up, I now realize that I haven't remembered to take my medication (antidepressants) for the past week. This next week I will be abstaining from Klonopin entirely (to lower blood levels so I can start the regimen correctly) and will be taking my antidepressants.

09-03-2004, 07:25 AM	#16 (permalink)
Heaven or hell Upright	Crazy Behaviour,, Hi my name is Ian and i am new to this Forum. This is serious so i would be grateful to anyone who will read it all. I came to find help as i have had too many years of terrible thoughts and ideas about whoever has annoyed me. I become that green eyes monster who just wants to hurt and hate. Example: This week, my girlfriend didnt call me when she said she would. She was out with friends and simply forgot. My response was to turn my phone off after some nasty messages to her, then go for a day out with a friend who she doesnt think much of,and not speak to her all day, and finally i became explosive and nasty because i felt rejected she didnt want me to be at her party that night! (who can blame her too).I ended the relationship which caused her to cry for 2 days, and then i go over and try to explain i have to do something about my problem. She was not to blame in any way for this and i blamed myself,, however its just another episode for her and i have probably had my last chance. This i accept. Most times i think in my mind of the voilence i want to happen and also to erase any logical reason about anything.. I cannot control my tepmer in any way whatso ever once i have lost it. I have booked an meeting at my doctors for this wednesday as it is clearly spinning out of control. I wonder if i have some sort of disorder, or that i am possibly Schizophrenic. The very next day,sometimes just a few hours later, i regret what i have said and explain it all. I blame myself totally and i do recognise i have a problem. The other times apart from this i am the most loving caring person in the whole wide world, and would help anyone i can..but it takes almost nothing for me to change and become seriously aggressive and angry. This will usually last for a day or so. I have a slight nervous twitch and also Involuntary movements which i was born with after a sugar deficiency at 1 week old. It is a rare codition called Gilles de la Tourette. I am seriously worried now and i believe i have peaked my 'beserk limit' and i will probably loose everything i have eventually. Please please does anyone have any ideas or advise. I am at my lowest, ever. Thank so much you for reading. Ian

09-03-2004, 10:37 AM	#17 (permalink)
pocon1 Banned	First of all, I have empathy for both of you. I know that I have never gotten as angry as you, butthead, and I have not been on medication (or needed it) so I cannot really know what you are going through. As far as what little advice I can give you, it mostly deals with recognizing my place in the world. Oftentimes, I feel superior to others, like when I am driving. It is almost like people are tring to drive stupid. I have to accept that there are different people and skill levels in the world. Or at work, my boss is not out to get me. She may make stupid decisions occasionally, but she is not trying to sabotage my life. She is just too stupid to listen, and I cannot control that. This has all sounded pretty arrogant, so far. I do recognize that others have skills and abilities that I do not have. I just have to remember that most people are not intentionnaly trying to cause me strife. i have to sit back, take a breath, and try to understand their side of the situation. In some ways it changes as you get older, but my wife complains about my behavior sometimes.