Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Life


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-16-2003, 04:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
Dubya
 
Location: VA
Lost out on a promotion - How to deal?

I lost out on an important early-promotion opportunity yesterday, and it's left me feeling very bitter/depressed/angry. I knew, on a conscious level, that not getting it was always a possibility, but I think sub-consciously I was too confident. The reason being everyone I work with, including my chain, thought I was deserving of it, and it definitely pumped me up.

So the promotion went to someone else in my organization, who, while not necessarily worse than me, certainly wasn't better.

So I'm left wondering, what does he have that I don't have? And sure, my unit wants me and cares about, but what about the larger organization?

*sigh* It's like these last 2 years of hard work are meaningless, and I might as well have been one of the slackers/dirtbags who cooled their heels for the last 2 years, and are going to get promoted at the same time as me.

Okay, enough venting. And before you tell me to suck it up, believe me, I've been telling myself that for the last 24 hours now.
Sparhawk is offline  
Old 07-16-2003, 06:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
it doesn't mean that the 2 years of hard work are meaningless, and cooling your heels doesn't do much good for you also.

why don't you ask the decision maker what set you two apart? what different skill sets or experience did the other person have that you didn't.

now the answer may not lead to anything tangible, but it's the best place to get the answer you are seeking.

after that, continue to work hard like you have because that's you, if it doesn't get you somewhere in the place that you are in, it will help you at a place that is outside of your current situation.

when it's time to grow it may be time to go...
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 07-16-2003, 06:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
My own person -- his by choice
 
Location: Lebell's arms
First of all, I'm sorry Sparhawk, to read your sad news. This is a great opportunity for growth. I suggest going to the higher ups and saying, "you know, I was really interested in blah blah position. I'm disappointed I did not get it and want to know truthfully what I can do to improve myself so that you will consider me next time blah blah happens?" Then graciously accept and apply the feedback! You've done two things by taking this step: 1. You let your bosses know your intent. 2. You show a willingness to take and apply feedback -- always a plus! Good luck!
__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
sexymama is offline  
Old 07-17-2003, 05:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
Dubya
 
Location: VA
A guy at work said to me, "Don't worry too much about it. This is just the first disappointment in a long series of disappointments to come throughout your career."

I think he was trying to cheer me up...
__________________
"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."
Sparhawk is offline  
Old 07-17-2003, 12:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Canada
If you were just working hard over the last 2 years for the purpose of getting this specific promotion, then yes, the last 2 years were meaningless, and would have better been spent slacking off. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and had you not worked you would have obviously had NO change of getting promoted.

If you worked hard because you enjoy your job or are a good and dedicated employee or take pride in what you do, or by working hard increased your knowledge, impressed your peers, and better set yourself up for future promotions and/or recommendations when searching for other employment, then it is not a waste. Even if you have to leave your current job to find suitable employment, you don't want your boss to get a reference call only to say "yeah, he slacked off for the last two years.".

Remember you have a choice -- no one is stopping you from doing the bare minimum to keep your job and not advance. But the path to advancement is fret with disappointment, and is not always fair. As they say, you've got to risk a lot to gain a little.
sarcasmo is offline  
Old 07-17-2003, 03:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Sunny So. Cal.
Their decision might have been based on certain aspects that he might have possesed that you didn't. By this I mean, he might have had more training in a certain area, more schooling, better fit (in their mind) for handling the responsibilities that would come with the promotion.

I agree with sexymama, go to your superiors (after you've calmed down) and respectfully inquire as to why he got the promotion over you and what you could do next time a promotion is up to improve your chances. It shows initiative, ability do effectively communicate, and desire to improve. Good luck!
BigJayz is offline  
Old 07-18-2003, 07:44 PM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
If you want that job, get hired into it. Look on the net for the job you lost and apply for it. Your company will be losing you, and it is their loss. Make sure you let them know you are leaving because you didnt get promoted. Everyone will know why you left, will see you were better, and company moral will be destroyed.

Most importantly,
You leaving for a better job is their loss.
BAMF is offline  
Old 07-18-2003, 10:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
Know Where!
 
MacGnG's Avatar
 
possible, another (better) opportunity will arise.
MacGnG is offline  
Old 07-18-2003, 11:50 PM   #9 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Working hard = good

Provided your management doesn't fit into the catagory of "Ignorant Assholians/Droids/Morons in suits" working hard in the long run is a good idea. Otherwise go somepalce else and work hard there were your effort and skills will be rewarded.
Xell101 is offline  
Old 07-20-2003, 09:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Illinois
Re: Lost out on a promotion - How to deal?

Quote:
Originally posted by Sparhawk

So I'm left wondering, what does he have that I don't have? And sure, my unit wants me and cares about, but what about the larger organization?

So, are you military then? Might get better responses that can help if u let peeps know that. I've never been in the military and cant recall anyone in my jobs that has referred to their peers as being in his/her "unit"


just a thought

Bill
spasblitz is offline  
Old 07-20-2003, 10:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
The Dreaded Pixel Nazi
 
Konichiwaneko's Avatar
 
Location: Inside my camera
I can't feel passionate or pity for someone who blames someone else.

Though the original post is not as vehement as to reek hate, it does not win me over with "I support this guy" feeling too it.

My suggestion, you are still a valued employee and just enjoy what you do.
__________________
Hesitate. Pull me in.
Breath on breath. Skin on skin.
Loving deep. Falling fast.
All right here. Let this last.
Here with our lips locked tight.
Baby the time is right for us...
to forget about us.
Konichiwaneko is offline  
Old 07-20-2003, 10:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
lost and found
 
Johnny Rotten's Avatar
 
Location: Berkeley
If it's any comfort, you *do* have a job. I've been interning since last September and am about to go stir crazy. Don't take your salary for granted . Oh, the things I could get...like a place of my own...You have it good.
__________________
"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine
Johnny Rotten is offline  
Old 07-21-2003, 05:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
Upright
 
Keep working, people will notice eventually- try to have step goals. Work hard for an achievable, tangible goal, one at a time, until you get to where you want to be.
n1ck31 is offline  
Old 07-22-2003, 11:05 AM   #14 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
Quote:
Originally posted by Hairy Dave
Sorry to say this, but often those who work hard and are good at their jobs are not rewarded as handsomely as those who play the office politics game to perfection while being merely adequate performers. It is sickening, but it is an unfortunate fact of life.
very true.. not only do you have to work hard, but you have to be willing to play the game.. that doesn't necessarily mean kiss ass, but it does mean you have to be willing to do some things you may not be interested in.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 07-28-2003, 01:37 PM   #15 (permalink)
Upright
 
Ahhh....patience young grasshopper....who is to say that the missed promotion will not set you up for a better one in the near future or a life leason which will be better. I am a very impatient type A personality that abhores delay...but I have learned to trust that god has a plan for everything and that a delay today may be a prize tomorrow.
tmricha is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 06:08 AM   #16 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: NJ
Gotta agree with others. Check back with the decision maker, find out why they didn't choose you and what you can do to better your chances in the future. If they are less than forthcoming or take this opportunity to criticize then I'd be checking out the want ads. I wouldn't move on till I found the right position but if I got the impression that they thought I wasn't close to being ready for the next level it would be bye bye. Unless of course that they are accurate in their assessment of your current level and are willing to help get you to the next level.

Just my .02.
__________________
Strive to be more curious than ignorant.
onetime2 is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 06:15 AM   #17 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Massachusetts, USA
"Well, it was between you and him. We couldn't make a decision, so we flipped a coin. It came up 'tails', so we promoted him."
denim is offline  
Old 08-06-2003, 09:56 AM   #18 (permalink)
Dubya
 
Location: VA
Quote:
Originally posted by denim
"Well, it was between you and him. We couldn't make a decision, so we flipped a coin. It came up 'tails', so we promoted him."
This was pretty much it. Oh well, back to the grind. Thanks for the comments and criticisms. I just needed to vent off some steam, but 2 weeks of vacation has straightened me out.
__________________
"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."
Sparhawk is offline  
 

Tags
deal, lost, promotion

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:06 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360