Plan9

BLEEP. BLEEP. Cursory search found nothing. Here goes another lame dozen-post thread. GO!

NY Daily News: When she's hot and he's not.

I read the actual scientific study on this in a silly college class and found it to be really quite interesting.

...

My Experience:

My partners haven't been knock-out movie star gorgeous, but certainly not ugly. I think a lot of it has to do with body composition and symmetry. A physically fit person with balanced features is probably always going to be considered generally more attractive. Personal preference, *cough*a nice personality*cough* and many other factors need to be considered as well before you can make (broad) generalizations as found in the above study.

Me? I'm only average in looks (on a good day) so it would be easy to find a female someone more attractive than myself. I'd say that my partners have been at least as attractive as me, if not slightly more. It's hard to compare attractiveness across gender... boobs act as an automatic +1 in some cases. Women are probably better judges than men anyway.

Also, I gravitate towards nerdy librarian-lookin' girls. The ones I stick with are the active ones with small boobs and big brains.

...

Questions:

Despite the findings, do you believe this to be true and how has it played out in your life?

Do you notice this in your relationships or the relationships of your friends?

If you're a woman with a man, is the guy less attractive than you?

If you're a man with a woman, do you consider your partner more attractive?

Also, if you're a James Bond lookin' mofo... who do you marry? Do you marry at all?

Obviously... ugly women are turned into McNuggets. Society is merciless on women.

...

Optional:

I'm wondering if this applies to the TFP and figure we could test it with photographs.

You could post couple comparison pictures if that's kosher with your partner.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Zeraph

Not much of an in depth answer but from what I've seen it always works out that both partners are equally attractive/same type. It only ends up seeming that men are less attractive on average than their wife because its easier to substitute other things besides looks for men (i.e. money).

PonyPotato

Go ahead. I'll be editing this post (or adding to the thread if it grows a bit more) after I finish watching BSG and Dollhouse on Hulu.

Okay, I'm back.

Of all of the people I have dated, I'd consider them right around the same "level" of attractiveness as me. I date most of them for personality, but I'll admit to dating a few guys based on looks alone - and for some reason, they consider me super hot. Sometimes I just don't get it.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

snowy

I think my partner and I are at about the same level of attractiveness. I'm certainly not drop-dead gorgeous, but I do think I'm pretty and sexy, and my partner is handsome, but not a heartthrob. We're a good fit. Funny but true--when I first met my SO, I thought he was out of my league. I know better now.

I've never really had an unattractive boyfriend. Most of the guys I've dated have been pretty good-looking, actually! I'm used to getting compliments on my taste in men

I'd post pictures of E. and I so you could see how good-looking we are together, but he's not really into having his picture shared with the TFP.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

World's King

Girlfriend is a model. Some of you have seen pics of her...



But then again, I'm unEarthly good looking so...

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

PonyPotato

I edited my first post.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

ngdawg

It might be strange, but anyone I'm attracted to has the same level of self-image that I do about myself (which is "eh, won't scare the horses") but that I found to be extremely handsome if ruggedly so and they in turn think I'm prettier than I am. Only two men in my life could be seen by a few as ugly but they had charm to spare.
I married someone whose looks, at least at that time, were equal to mine or better. However, he's aging like shit. That brings me to another point about looks-attitude many times will dictate how you'll age and that really attractive person you fell so madly for might turn out to develop a really sour outlook and that will show.

__________________
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Grancey

Could it be that men won't commit to women they find less attractive than themselves, while women look for more than attractiveness in a potential mate?

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

JumpinJesus

You've all seen how goddamn hot shesus is (if you ever saw her exhibition threads) and I'm pretty fuckin' far from good looking. We've been together nearly 10 years now.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

shesus

Aww, shucks, thanks.
And you're talking about my husband there, I think he's the cat's meow.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Cynosure

Only if A.) the husband is filthy rich, or B.) the wife is blind. (In most cases, of course, it's the former, not the latter.) And even then, it usually doesn't lead to marital bliss. (Especially not in the former case.)

What about the reverse? Does "hot husband, ugly wife = marital bliss"? Probably not. But it does remind me of a rhythm & blues song I heard, a long, long time ago...

ratbastid

We get into serious problems of self-perception here. As illustrated by the interchange between JJ and shesus above. We could have the same conversation (granted, in triplicate) here at Stellurkbastid headquarters. Something like "Well, THEY'RE hot. Me, whatever." Times three.

So, while it's easy to look at the Julia Roberts / Lyle Lovett phenomenon (which, by the way, ended in divorce after two years, throwing the curve off the alleged happiness of such a relationship) and say, well gee there's a mismatch here, it's much harder to apply it to a relationship that YOU'RE in, because you're YOU, and you can't actually look at yourself objectively.

Redlemon

And THAT'S the real key. Both (or, in Ratbastid's case, all) partners thinking "Wow, I really have the better half of this deal". And not just on looks; it goes for the support you give and get as well.

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Grasshopper Green

I'd say my husband and I are about the same level of attractiveness, and we've been together for 13 years. With one exception that I can think of off the bat, most of my friends and family who have partners are the same as us - fairly equal levels of attractiveness. Some of the relationships work(ed), some don't/didn't. I don't know if I totally believe the article - looks attract initially, but there's got to be something else there to act as the glue to the relationship.

__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

girldetective

Redlemon wrote : Yes, redlemon has it right I think. Who I might consider the most handsome man I dated was not my favorite.

Ive thought about this question before though. My girl was dating a quite handsome boy, I mean quite very good looking. I mean, I was at a party that he was at and girls/women there actually asked me, "Who is he?!!!" I thought to myself later that I personally would never have dated him. I hate to say it but I dont know that I like my dates to be better looking than me. I dont know that I have the confidence for it.

__________________
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

777

From what I've heard, most people find a spouse that is just as atractive as they are. You'll see couples with glasses, couples that are very thin, couples are very not thin, couples where but are college grads and those that spent 5 years in high school.

A friend of mine has seen a trend where tall thin guys are dating short chubby girls. Such as herself and her bf, and a few other couples that she knows. So maybe the oppisite is true for non-married couple.


Luckily, there are our role models that show that it is be possible to be unatractive and still land a hottie.

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

Cynthetiq

I'm not sure. Art imitating life? Life imitating art?

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

levite

Hot Wife+Not Hot Husband seems to be working well for my fiancee and me (I am content to be Not Hot, but I don't think I sink down all the way to Ugly).

Also, can I just say, I know I am totally outing myself as a major league former D&D geek, but when you said:

All I could think of was, "She has +1 boobs. Do you want to use your enchanted boner now, or roll a 1d20 random pickup roll?"



OK, I'll shut up now....

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)