neflyte

I would love to lose about 40 pounds. Actually, I'd love to lose even part of this one-pack. My issue, just like many people's issue, is motivation. I've looked through several other threads here regarding this (and similar topics) and I've come up with the following:

1) Bribe myself. (wouldn't work since i'd just do whatever if i really wanted to)
2) Hire a personal trainer. (seriously thinking about this)
3) Get a book on the subject. (anyone want to motivate me to read? )
4) Set small goals and work up to larger ones. (i'll work at that for about a week or two and forget i ever started)
5) I'll do it if i want it bad enough. (hence this post...)

So, knowing that i'd actually do something if i really wanted it bad enough, is it even possible to "make" me want something bad enough? I let a lot of little things slide simply because i couldn't be arsed to do anything about them; they're not a great inconvenience. My weight isn't a /great/ inconvenience, but it does cause me problems, my current medical conditions notwithstanding. I guess I just don't want to lose weight badly enough, but I do want to lose some.

Note that the only time I was actually successful at keeping with my exercise regimen (and lost 35 pounds, to boot!) was at the tail end of my relationship with my ex. I got it into my head that if I changed my lifestyle enough, she'd want to stay with me. I was so emotionally attached that I'd do anything to keep it. I'm not saying I want to be that way again (actually, i never want that again), but I'm hoping that's not what it would take someone like me to keep motivated.

Also note that I have no local friends who would stick to a similar exercise regimen with me. Tried that, it failed.

Help?

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"I'm not a vegatarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -- A. Whitney Brown

Bear Cub

If you have the money, hire a personal trainer.

You have someone else pushing you, someone else reminding you to do what you're supposed to, and someone else to create consequence when you don't stick with it. You're also more apt to stick with it when you have money riding on it, rather than just self-satisfaction.

My buddy was in an even worse situation. Makes good money at his job, was very depressed, severely overweight, routinely contemplated suicide. He didn't have much else to spend his money on so he hired a PT. He has since lost a TON of weight, looks like a completely different person, and has completely turned his life around.

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Punk.of.Ages

Make it something you want to do. Make it fun. I've been telling myself for a while that I need to get more active and actually participate in some kind of physical activity, so I decided to give tennis a try, and as it turns out I really enjoy it. Plus, I'm pretty good at it naturally.

Also, rather than spend money on a physical trainer, why not just find a friend willing to help you out? Somebody else helping can be a really motivating.

For me, if I don't enjoy it I don't want to do it.

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lotsofmagnets

step away from the computer....

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The_Jazz

No, it's not possible. I've tried. It doesn't work.

When I was a competitive runner, I ran with a chip on my shoulder. I had something prove, at least to myself. There came a point that I did prove it, and I've been a much happier person since.

I've also been much slower.

In the years since, I've tried all sorts of "tricks" to get myself going. The only thing that's ever worked is to actually want it bad enough to put up with the pain. Unfortunately injuries and kids have held me back, but I know that the next time I go into a training cycle for real, I'll do what it takes to meet my goals, provided that I have the ability.

There is one positive piece of advice that I can give you other than the above "gut it out" message. Find a friend that wants roughly the same thing. Use your workouts as a social outlet. Push each other. Even better, find 5 friends. That's the best way to do it.

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snowy

What worked for me was figuring out a reward system--yes, I bribed myself to get going, but before too long, the weight loss, activity, and feeling better was a reward in and of itself. My bribes were also all oriented to keeping me active--for instance, when I hit a certain weight loss target, I rewarded myself by buying a new pair of workout pants. My bicycle was a reward for meeting a goal.

I also gave myself a weekly reward in a "day off"--a day when I would eat something outside of my nutrition plan, but I wouldn't give myself the day off if I hadn't met my activity goals for the week.

Now I don't need to bribe myself in quite the same way. Good continual motivators for me are fitness magazines. When I buy one and read it, it gives me new information to add to what I know and keeps me inspired to keep going. It refreshes my desire to stay fit.

My basic motto for losing 45 lbs. was "Eat more fiber and move your ass (exercise)." Perhaps it's a credo that could work for you. It keeps it simple, which I found really really helpful in staying motivated.

And yes, hiring a personal trainer is a good idea if you have absolutely no idea where to start and have the $$$ or other resources (like benefits through your work that will pay for it).

Ultimately, be realistic. If you do this, know that healthy weight loss is 2 lbs. max per week--8 lbs. a month. And going slow is better than going fast--it's much more likely to last that way. I've kept my weight off for over a year now!

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

jewels

I'd love to win the Lotto. If it's something you're just daydreaming about, it might prove difficult.

My experience has been it's all about the mindset. You said when you lost weight before it was to show your ex how great you could look. Have you ever explored what it might be like to lose that weight just because you want to feel good?

Once you tire of the status quo. you'll find your motivation within. If need be, "fake it til you make it". Some of us (me included) find that a little success is all that's needed to keep the motivation going.

Whatever you choose to do, I highly recommend writing out a plan as you would with any serious goal. This way, you can cross off each step you"ve taken and each small goal reached. The sense of accomplishment you'll receive from this will be awesome!

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Mark Twain

neflyte

So, what I'm getting so far is use sheer determination to get me where I want to go (or a personal trainer if i have the money). In thinking about this all a little more, my issue might be that I come home from work each day mentally exhausted. Most days I don't even touch my computer after work (seeing as how I use one all day anyways). Perhaps if I find some way to get rid of the mental exhaustion, achieving some larger weight loss would be easier for me.

Adjusting my mindset is, of course, easier said than done. I've accepted my current weight and physical shape, so it's going to be rather challenging for me to change that perception. I'd almost need someone ridiculing me until I start hating myself, which would make me change. But that's a bit much, no? Heh, if I only knew what i know now back in high school.

Rewarding myself with tangible things won't work for me. I'd just go out and buy it if I wanted it. I also don't have any local friends that are willing to help me with this. The only friend that would is 30 minutes away by car, and with gas prices being what they are, it's just not an option.

Thanks for all of the suggestions so far, though! I'll take whatever I can get...

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"I'm not a vegatarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -- A. Whitney Brown

aberkok

Motivation is a problem that requires a multifaceted solution. You have to slowly set up your life so that weight loss just figures into it naturally. I am not the sort of person who can maintain a healthy weight without exercise, so becoming involved in running has been great for me... but that's not all I do to stay where I should be.

I also became interested in veganism, and have been one since December. This can make weight loss simple. As my interest in whole foods increased (a natural progression for an enthusiastic vegan, though not limited to vegans), my interest in processed foods decreased.

Above all, I would get on the personal trainer bandwagon. It changed my attitude toward exercise. Get them to explain why they're making you do something and hopefully you'll develop an interest in the process.

You know, I think that's the key. Getting an interest in the process of something. Just wanting the result isn't going to help.

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PonyPotato

I worked with a personal trainer 2-3x a week for three months, and she totally changed my outlook toward different types of exercise. She helped me really push myself, and my body changed noticeably during those months. Unfortunately, I have moved away and can no longer afford the same type of training, but when I go to the gym now I try to remember the exercises she had me do and how to do them and how hard to push myself. It's more difficult without someone to spot me on my last few reps, but she really ingrained me with a love of weight lifting that has totally changed the way I spend my time at the gym.

If you can afford a trainer, do it. As long as you find someone who understands your goals and likes to explain things to you and talk to you, you'll enjoy it. Personally, I can't wait for a few years from now when I'm no longer working a second job and can actually afford the time and money to work with a trainer again.

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catback

"Make" yourself want something bad enough? I don't think it can be done, the logic just doesn't work. If you don't want it you won't "make" you want it. If you do want it, you really can't "make" yourself want it more than you do.

Your goal seems easy enough, just don't be a quiter. It's apparent you want it but are doubting you'll make it to the end. Don't quit and you will. Incentives are nice but easily dismissed when you decide to quit. A good end goal is something to work towards though, you wanna look better--if you keep on track you will regardless of how hard it may seem. So if you continue to want the goal you'll succeed.

Jinn

Don't go home from work. Pack a bag, have it in the car, and drive to the gym. I work ~60 hrs/wk on a computer and I empathize with your mental exhaustion. Once I get home, I don't want to do anything. That's why I don't go home until I'm done with what I want to get done. It works even better if your gym is the opposite direction from home when you're leaving work. Once you're already on the road to the gym (and away from home), it's harder to give up on yourself and turn around. "Well, I'm already driving there, I might as well go.."

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Bear Cub

How early do you start work? Don't rule out morning workouts. They bump your metabolism up, keep you energetic throughout the day, and help you sleep better at night.

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speshul-k

How did I miss this memo?!

neflyte

Heh, i find it that much harder to do stuff in the morning. Although if the weather is right, I bike to work. It's about a 20 minute ride if I push myself. Plus there are lots of hills in this area so I get a good workout doing it. Unfortunately, I probably do it about once a week due to excess wind and rain (i refuse to bike in the rain and too much wind makes me push too hard - i have excercise-induced asthma).

I like Jinn's idea of excercise after work. I usually force myself to go shopping, etc just after work. Its probably the only time I can actually get myself to run errands. There does happen to be a 24-hour gym around the corner from the office. I was considering checking it out. Perhaps they have personal trainers who work out of that gym?

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"I'm not a vegatarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -- A. Whitney Brown

Bear Cub

More than likely there are personal trainers there.

The main reason I DON'T like to work out right after work is the rush. Everybody else tends to have the same idea, and in the three gyms I've joined in my life, all of them were PACKED just after rush hour. Its worth taking a tour of the gym at its busiest times to see how the flow is. Nothing like spending a good chunk of change every month just to wait half an hour for equipment to open up.

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Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Push-Pull

There's a difference between making yourself want something and making yourself do something. I lost 35 pounds because I made myself do it. Believe me, there were plenty of mornings I didn't want to, but did anyways. Finally, my stubbornness was used for good instead of evil!

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passthru

Motivation is irrelevant when all you're really looking for is motivations result. Find something you're looking for that would be a result of being motivated to loose weight.

As far as I'm concerned, gyms and weight training are for bodybuilders. I've been considering swimming for exercise for over a year, but I never went once. I finally tried it out a few weeks ago, and it was so much fun I started going 3 times a week. That only lasted for 3 weeks; I'm going 5 times a week now.

I think you should find another situation to use your bike, or try other outdoor activities at random. I sit at a computer all day too, and outdoor stuff always relaxes my mind since it doesn't require anything my job does.

Toaster126

You don't want whatever it is you think you want. You wish you had whatever it is.

Wishes are things you think about. Wants are things you take action for to go get for yourself.

Seeing your post makes me think you have all the knowledge to lose the weight, or at least the ability to find out how. You don't need ideas on how to do it. You need to just realize it will suck, and keep doing it anyway.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

neflyte

I've done a fair bit of research and know exactly how I want to lose weight. I'll start and manage to keep it up for a couple weeks, then i'll just stop. I suppose my will power isn't quite as strong as I need it to be in this case. But yes, I think you hit the nail on the head there.

It's the "keep doing it anyway" part that I can't seem to get right.

__________________
"I'm not a vegatarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -- A. Whitney Brown

Toaster126

Practice makes perfect on that too.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)