amire

Hey TFP. I am currently in my early 20's, and I feel that I have not taken full advantage of my young years up to this point. It seems that youth is the time to experiment, do crazy things, and generally have a blast. I don't feel that I've taken full advantage of those things. For instance, I haven't attended nearly as many concerts as I feel I should have. I've avoided staying up until 2:00 or 3:00 AM to shoot the shit because I'm "not a night person." I don't really date a whole lot because school gets in the way. So I feel that I'm not fully enjoying my youth as I should.

What about you? Do you feel that you should have been more active during your young years? What activities do you wish you participated in more? If you feel that you utilized those years well, what are your fondest memories?

Charlatan

Still in your early 20s? You are still in your youth. Trust me. Now that you've recognized you haven't taken advantage of your youth start taking advantage.

You have until your 30s and then it all changes.

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Fotzlid

Too true.

Martian

Yeah, what's this wasted my youth nonsense? I'm 24 and am smack in the middle of my youth so far as I'm concerned. I'm young, single and independent; really, there's no better situation for living it up. The way I figure it, this is the time in your life to do all the crazy shit that you won't be able to get away with once you've got a family and have settled into a career and so on.

There's an old saying that youth is wasted on the young. If I'd known what I know now during my childhood/teens, I would've done things differently for sure. Then again, if I'd done things differently then I wouldn't be who I am now.

I reckon you're 18 until at least mid-forties. Also, I'm wondering if anybody's going to understand that. I'd explain it, but y'know, I have to keep that aura of mystery going.

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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

vanblah

What changes?

I'm 39 and with the exception of a VERY few age-related physical differences my outlook on life is not much different than it was when I was 21.

I'm certainly more financially and emotionally stable ... is that what you mean?

Fotzlid

Priorites

pppg

Probably the biggest thing for me is that when you are in school, it's the best time to meet friends. I was lucky and lived on an active floor in school and are still close friends to about 4-5 people from my freshman year.

If you can, it's also the best time to get your diet straight and get on some sort of activity schedule that you ENJOY. Keeping in shape now is a heck of a lot easier than trying to get back into shape.

ratbastid

Ridiculous. I'm 33, and I've had more fun since I turned 30 than ever in my life. More partying, more concerts, more going out. I never used to do that sort of stuff, and now I do all the time.

Age is all in your mind.

Derwood

I got married at age 22. some might say that's "wasting my youth", but I was never one to go boozing and cavorting anyways....

Push-Pull

QFT. (I resemble that remark.)


To add to it....Living it up is not the problem for most youth of today. It's not keeping the "big picture" in perspective that "wastes" youth.

My only regret about my youth was not having a better plan and living day-to-day without any long terms goals. Now that I'm 38, I'm having to play a hell of a lot of catch-up because of it.

__________________
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"Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown-

DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

Derwood

right. living it up up is fun and all, but not if it means you're putting off a career. anyone can tend bar until they're 35 and live in a one-bedroom apartment, but then what?

Psycho Dad

Depends on what you think youth should be used on. If there is something you wanted to do at 20, why can't you do it at 30 or 40 or older? We started a family very young. My wife was 17 and I was 19 when our first child was born. Responsibilities played a role in some of the things we were able to do. We probably wouldn't change anything were we truly able to turn back time.

We were able to finish school, have good careers and raise 3 fine young men when most of our friends were "having a blast". Now our youngest is 18, we are not looking at finding a good nursing home yet. A trip through Europe one day will be booked through a travel agent instead of doing it on our own with back packs (does anyone really hitch hike across Europe), but I'm going to put some beers back in Bavaria and Belgium one day.

No matter what age you are, you need to do as Morgan Freeman's character in The Shawshank Redemption said. "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'".

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Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

Derwood

it's trendy to wait to have kids until you've "lived it up", but i know a lot of parents whose kids will still be in college when they (the parents) are supposed to be retired.

Do the math: If you have your first kid at, say, 35, and another at 37 or 38, your kids won't even be out of high school until you're 56.

Add to that the fact that if your kids wait until THEY are 35 to have kids, you pretty much won't enjoy many years of being a grandparent.

Cynthetiq

True. I didn't do 1/2 as much as I do now that I'm in my 30s. My 20s

I travel to far off lands and different cities on a regular basis. I go to comedy shows, concerts, broadway shows, art shows. I do food tours of cities last year did a pizza tour of Chicago. I just went on a ethnic grocery tour of Chicago.

I wasn't able to do alot of it when I was in my 20s. I tried and did some, but my income wasn't 1/2 of what it is today. I don't consider it wasted, it just helped me refine what I did and didn't want to do in my 30s.

As I enter into my 40s, it will be more of the same as I shift my intersts and priorities.

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Baraka_Guru

This will be me at 43.

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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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fresnelly

I wasted a number of opportunities for adventure, learning, girls etc by being too shy and self consious in my youth, but here I am at 32 and living the good life. Do what you can and don't stress too much about what's done.

Go for it. What else can you do?

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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

little_tippler

QFT.

Seriously, this cliché, is true.

Live your life the best way you can, that's all you can do. Don't look back and think I should have done this, or that. It's done. In the past. It makes you who you are too, to quote another fellow TFP'er.

Ok, certain physical aspects may change a lot with age, but otherwise, mentally, you're the same person. Becoming hopefully wiser over time. Be who you are. If you didn't do those things, don't force yourself to make up for it now. Unless it's what you want, not what you think you should do, and because society says you should.

I stress about time passing by, but I'm guessing we all do. No-one wants things to be over. Even those people who believe there is life beyond this one.

Stop wasting your time worrying and live your life. Enjoy it as much as you can and do right by yourself and others. That's all you should do.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Jenna

Sort of... I got into a serious relationship when I was 17 and I still partied, but far less than before.

I did everything early. I started drinking when I was 12, partying hard by the time I was 14. I did the whole "party" stage when I was 15 and 16.

In a sense, I lost my "childhood" not my youth. I still have a long ways to go, and once I hit 21 I plan on having a lot of fun!

Milnoc

I started everything later in life. But as it turns out, it's definitely working out for me. My twenties and thirties were spent building a career in the computer industry, and it was a lot of fun while it lasted. I've thought of family life, but then realized it's not my bag at all. I'm a solitary individual who values his independence too much to tie himself down into a traditional American fifties lifestyle.

I'm in my early forties now, and I've already quit my job, sold my condo, and working at launching my own TV station. I can do this now because most businesses will take you much more seriously and believe in your dreams when you're in your forties than any other age. I admit the perception is highly prejudicial, but that's reality. I'm just lucky the idea for the business was thought up at an age which I could realistically accomplish it. And the experience I've gained in the computer industry during the last twenty years will be valuable in accomplishing my goals.

So if your twenties and thirties didn't turn out exactly the way you wanted, don't worry! The amount of stuff you can get away with in your forties is simply phenomenal!

stevie667

I had this thought today.

I wasted vast tracts of it, and utilised others perfectly. My conclusion was i'm going to get some friends together with copious amounts of alcohol and see how drunk we can get. That used to lead to all sorts of adventures, and i hope it will again.

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Willravel

Heh, no. No, I've not wasted my youth thus far.

Scorps

I wasted my youth but me and the GF having a kid at 16 doesn't help you have to grow up to fast

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roachboy

i did alot of stuff when i was younger that i am glad i did when i was younger but wouldn't do now--but i don't know if if i would know not to do those things unless i had done those things when and how i did those things. like lsd. i just dont know if that is a thing i would do now mostly because it doesn't seem necessary but that may be because i did that thing before and so now i know about that thing. there are many such things. much of the time i spent doing those things and other related things that may or may not have been enabled by those things was probably wasted in some sense at least from a viewpoint of maximized overall efficiency but then the viewpoint of maximized overall efficiency only applies to refrigerators and other fuel burning mechanical devices. i am glad that i am not as stupid as i was when i was younger, at least not in the same way as when i was younger because now i get to be stupid in new and improved ways and in that context my past of being stupid in other ways is something i can review in my head like watching the jerry springer show and say well that was stupid but at least it wasn't stupid in that way. so i feel like there's been movement, though it is possible that this movement has been lateral. i do not object to lateral movement, i just was under the impression that we tended to march purposefully forward figuring things out progressively and eventually reaching the moment at which all seems clear, which is also the point at which we die. if that is true, then i will likely live forever and the name roachboy will acquire a new meaning. that is what i think.

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spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

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Punk.of.Ages

I'm dead set on the idea that my youth will last my entire life.

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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager

"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike

Tully Mars

Yes and no.

I spent most of high school skipping class and partying. I managed to graduate with the minimum number of required attendance days and a 3.80 GPA. I used to be able to read something once, often just skim it and I'd remember it. I'd stay out all night and go into class the next day with little or not sleep and pass exams. Used to really piss off my girlfriend.

After high school I worked at fast food and restaurant jobs until I couldn't look in the mirror anymore. So I joined the Navy. Once again doing well in class helped out. Getting out of "A" school in the top 5% of the class allowed me to pick my first duty station. I originally picked the USS Constitution, which is basically a tourist attraction in Boston. Sadly I was informed that since I was married at the time the Navy wouldn't station me there due to off base housing costs. So a Senior Chief pulled me aside and told me I should pick the USS Cape Cod. Brand new ship, just out of dry dock and headed on what they were calling a "diplomatic tour." So I took it. Went to 17 different countries the first year. Asia, Africa, Australia and all over the south Pacific. I went to all these places and being young and dumb I, like most of my buddy's, didn't really take advantage of opportunities very well. Every time we'd hit a new port the first thing we'd all do is head to the local bar and start drinking, then try to find a hamburger or a pizza. You know when you're in China you really should at least try some Chinese food. Any hamburger or pizza you find is going to suck anyway. When you're in Sydney you might want to at least go see the Opera House. Nope- inside of a lot of bars, that's my main sight seeing experience. I have pictures of me on some beaches of small islands in the south pacific. I have no memory of being there. More bars and bad hamburgers I'm sure.

Did I waste it, sort of but I'm sure I had a good time. And I'm currently trying to get back to as many of these places as I can. One thing I gained from it was a love of travel. I'll drop every and hop a flight to Hong Kong if the price is right. This habit has been known to put my dogs in foul moods for weeks.

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i_am_not_worthy

I have asked myself this within the last week after visting my parents in my home town. I am in my early 30's.

The answer is no - it wasn't wasted. Some of the stuff that I did was damn fun! However, if I could go back again, I would do a lot of things differently but in the end I would want the same outcome - where I am now.

You can't live by the regret that 'you should have'. Think of some of the things you wish you had done and see if they fit into what you can do now. I am still a big kid but i am happy to be that way. Yes, I can be professional with work and other commitments but on the flipside i can screw around so much with my mates and my wife. I intend to always enjoy life.

My suggestion to anyone that thinks they have wasted their youth - think about the good times or funny stuff that you did and smile - it was worth it!
Look forward to the good times ahead - being conscious of enjoying yourself will lead to more adventures and fun times.

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SSJTWIZTA

at least im not the only one!

up the punx and all that stuff.


yeah, my teenage years were far from wasted. im in that percentile of americans that dont know when the parties are over. i was that asshole teenager you seen complete trashed at the market at 9 am. i was that dumb drunken fuck smashing your street up and leaving a trail of vomit. i was the intoxicated stooge dragging his inebriated girlfriend to safety.

and you know, i loved every second of it.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

thespian86

I am still in the process of wasting it. HURRAH!

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abaya

Nicely said, rb. Since when did efficiency vs. waste matter so much, in a human life? I mean, yes, there are ways to "waste" one's youth/life/etc, but they usually involve, say, committing a crime that puts you behind bars for your entire life. Or spending your youth/life drugged up beyond recognition, so that you aren't even aware of time passing, let alone your use of it. Etc. As long as you are not "wasting" it in those senses, you're probably really just fine... at least, that's what I try to remind myself.

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SecretMethod70

Short answer: yes.

Not in terms of partying or anything like that, but in missed opportunities.

It's true that "it's never too late," but life is also finite. And, objectively speaking, there are certain opportunities that would be near impossible for me to get back due to their nature.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

high_jinx

the only thing you've missed out on is lack of responsibility. when you were younger, even 18 or 19 pretty much, if you got in some serious party trouble etc. the worst that would happen is a slap on the wrist and a grounding from your parents.

now that you're in your 20's, you have a high probability of jail-time if you get caught doing anything too crazy or on anything too mind-bending.

so now you have some youth to burn, but you need to be strategic about it and pick your spots.

the only 2 rules i'd worry about is getting a disease and getting pregnant... plan against those things, and besides that just listen to your own self conscience to keep yourself in check and get out there and show the world what you can do when you put on the party sombrero.

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Glory's Sun

If I wasted anything.. it was only money.

I don't have any regrets or "I wish I had done that" moments for my "youth"..

now I'm married and have kids.. my youth isn't gone.. I just simply direct it in other directions.

telekinetic

I wasted my youth by not graduating from college when I should have, and instead stringing it out for another 3 years of partying drinking and fornicating. Oh well, live and learn...I honestly would go back and slap myself silly if given the chance.

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twisted no more

MSD

I was never allowed to go to parties in high school, I still live at home as I'm finishing college (at a commuter campus) when I'm 24, and my mom expects me to continue living at home for another 2-3 years to help her financially until my brother finishes college. I'm also expected to get home early (mom says "I can't fall asleep when you guys are still out") and miss out that way. I've accomplished plenty, but having no social life in high school and barely being able to do anything while staying at home during college means that I've pretty much wasted my life up to now. I also consider the time when I was religious and afraid to have fun for fear of fire and brimstone, wasted.

I'm not particularly happy with my life and making it better is what drives me.

abaya

Yeah, I forgot to mention that as well. It took me until I was 22-24 to finally shake myself free of those trappings... but that's not so bad. Some of my friends married someone exactly like themselves (religious) when they were 22... every day, I count my lucky stars that I didn't get trapped into a situation like that.

Reminds me of that Modest Mouse lyric... "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell are really there... you wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?"

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

jewels

I don't think I've wasted anything. Truth is, all the mistakes I've made in my life have made me so much wiser.

When I was turning 40, I'd thought it was all over. But the truth is, I haven't had any real fun in my life until I hit 45. And it just gets better every year.

Life is what you make it. Stop worrying and start living.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
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Martian

I'll have you know that this sent me into an obsessive search, because I couldn't remember which song that was. I had to go through all of my Modest Mouse in order to remember that it was Ocean Breathes Salty, from Good News for People Who Love Bad News.

It took me all of five minutes. Still, you should be careful about stuff like that.

As to the topic, I stand by my original statement. I'm not sure how exactly one would go about wasting one's youth, anyway. Is my life up to now invalid because I didn't go to college? Am I wasting the rest of my twenties by not drinking?

It's an odd concept. Everything is a learning experience. Short of long-term sensory deprivation I really don't understand how one's life can be wasted.

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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Derwood

personally, i think the people who are boozing/partying/drugging it up are the ones wasting their youth, but that's just me

telekinetic

I know that's how I wasted mine

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twisted no more

Glory's Sun

eh I dunno.. unless it causes major problems like hurting family members or your kids or going to prison I wouldn't call it wasting youth. I partied like a rockstar for years and learned alot about life and myself that I wouldn't have learned had I not done those things. Sure it would be nice to have all that money back, but the good times far outweighed the bad and I wouldn't trade that for the world. The memories and friends I made are priceless.

I think the only way to waste youth is to not be youthful.. that in itself it relative to each individual. If you prefer not to party, that's up to you.. if you like to party then do it. Just sitting around doing nothing.. (no job, no school etc) that's wasteful.