iamjero

I am interested in finding out what ways the smokers on this board have used to "pass" a piss test.

Personally Im of the opinion that the only piss test anyone gonna get outta me is a taste test, but I have found thru trials and truibulations that this stuff called add-it-tive works really well.

Shokan

Ive never had to take one, but if I did, I'd find a buddy of mine who doesnt smoke to save his piss for me....then somehow sneak it in.

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JStrider

get someone to pee in a bag for ya... duct tape it to your stomach...and when the time comes just pour it into the cup... but you gotta make sure to tape it to you or it wont be warm like pee normally is...

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-=JStrider=-

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Lebell

Modern drug tests take the temperature of the urine, usually by a temperature strip right on the cup. If it isn't 98.6 plus of minus a few tenths, it's no good.

If there is really a question, they will send someone in with you to watch.

I understand that there is no real test for 'shrooms.

(I know all this because I set up a drug testing program for work once.)

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CSflim

Simple: Don't smoke

/Dumbass

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snowace56

there is one way to clean out your system that i have heard of, but i don't use it or recommend it. a cap full of bleach and a tall glass of milk to mix in. drink it up and feel like shit for a couple hours. I have heard of people doing it on a regular basis, and worked everytime. If it were me, I'd go with the bag method.

World's King

The best way to pass a pee test is to NOT DO DRUGS.


*steps down from soap box*

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denim

That can't be right. People's temperatures vary all day by 3 or 4 degrees. "98.6" is an average; it's just statistics over a large number of people, and they're considering updating it. Any one person will have their own average. Mine tends to be a few degrees lower.

Guess I'm "cold" blooded.

Cynthetiq

IMO I don't work somewhere where they have to do that type of testing. I'm all for a complete physical if you want to know that I'm going to be a healthy productive employee... But my time is my time, if I want to drink, smoke, or do whatever on my time, so long as I perform for the employer.. leave my stuff alone.

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LittleOralAnnie

Any piss tests I've taken, I've passed with flying colors because I don't do drugs.

clockworkgreen

Oh, get off the boxes people. A little smoke never hurt anyone...

I haven't done it in a few years, and won't again, but that's just out of choice not some sort of brainwashed D.A.R.E. thought process.

Ratman

I thought this thread was going to be about masturbation. I studied for hours.

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livingitup101

I actually just passed a test even though I generally smoke 4-5 times a week and smoked 2 nights before taking the test.

Here goes:

I went to GNC and got some type of herbal tea. I had to brew something like 1-2 gallons of this shit about 12-16 hours prior to the test. It had me so damn bloated and out and back from bed all night pissing. Then about 2 hours prior to the test, I took some type of carbohydrate drink they sell at GNC as well.

I passed the test.

Jstrider is right. They do measure the temperature of the piss. I don't know what temp it needs to be at, but they definitely checked it.

Good luck.

One other thing...that stuff cost me about $60 at GNC. Expensive, but worth it.

sixate

Right. The best way is to sober up.

warrrreagl

Except for that one where you try to grab musical sounds out of the air with your fingers. I NEVER passed that test.

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TaLoN

geez just buy a detox drink. probably $30-40 but if you follow the directions correctly you can smoke the night before and still pass

eltardo

You should check out Erowid and SmokeDot for information on passing a drug test. They have some good stuff there. For everyone else giving suggestions like "don't smoke and you'll pass", these things come up sometimes and you're not able to have enough time to stop and have your system clean itself out. And if you're just talking about not doing drugs in general, go preach to people who actually give a shit.

BentNotTwisted

If I had a choice I'd smoke occasionally. Maybe a couple times a month or something, just on the weekend. I took a job a few years back working for a municipality. They have a zero drug tolerance policy. If you get tapped for a random drug test you have 1 hour to get to the drug testing location (it's a small town). If you dont' get there in time you'd better have a good explaination. Last fall two of my co-workers got busted for grass. One is unemployed, the other started his own business. Now I have a choice, either I keep my job or I smoke and risk losing a good paying job. I don't need to smoke grass bad enough to risk my income.

LOL

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Lebell

I may have the range too narrow, but that is how they check and guard against bringing "a buddy's" urine and not your own.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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punx1325

I would say just don't smoke it. Think about the risk and your future.

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phredgreen

*moved to the advice forum*

teh only way to garuntee a clean test is to be clean. i'll forego the righteous bullcrap and just tell you it's better not to.

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glasscutter43

ahhh, the joys of being self-employed

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Book 'em Danno

Double D

Apparently DARE does work!

Seriously though, WTF? How can people be so friggin' judgemental/hypocritical about what other adults choose to put in their own bodies?

Most of you came here via pr0n, right? Do you know how morally corrupt looking at pr0n is? What about you drinkers that are dissing the smokers? Go visit a drunk tank sometime and see what may become of you. Anyone gamble here? Ever cheat on your spouse or g/f or b/f?

And speaking of putting drugs in your bodies, you all never eat processed food like lunchmeat or hotdogs, 'cause they are full of a known cancer-causing agent. You don't drink milk from the grocery store, right? 'Cause you know that stuff is loaded with hormones (drugs).

And certainly there are no cigarette smokers here that would criticize a marijuana smoker, right?

Now, I know what your petty little defense is 'cause I've heard it a million times: But all your little vices *are not illegal.*

Ever go over the speed limit while driving? So you realize how dangerous that can be? Ever wonder why insurance costs so much for you under 25 y.o. male drivers? Because you maim & kill people with your cars more than anyone else.

Ahhh. I'm done now. I feel better.

Please put a sock in it, if you can't answer the question posed in the the thread or add helpful advice. You sound like little neo-conservative shrub-lovers.

splck

Well said...just the facts please...no preaching.
The only person I've ever heard getting drug tested is my neigbor that drives a propane truck. He used to stop for a few days before getting tested and always passed. The company has since stopped testing saying it was a waste of money. He never goes to work stoned because he only smokes on the weekends AKA - his time.
I'm glad I don't have to deal with that testing shit... Being the boss is good!

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Metallica_Band

Yeah...my norm hangs around 97.4

pangavan

It all depends on the level of testing the company pays for, If they really want to check the test cannot be beaten if you smoked withen 45 days of the test. Every job I've held for twenty years has required a test, some just want to see if you are willing to take it,(if you pee in the cup right then you must have nothing to hide), others have taken urine and hair to ensure the samples match the same person. I acctually almost got caught hot when I was tested three days after a test,("pee now or you are fired"),the only thing that saved me was that only two out of twelve random samples were tested.
not to preach but if you use a company vehicle or are in an accident on company time the presence of drugs in your system could void any company insurance or workers comp benifits.

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zipper

Just think, if you were in the military, someone would WATCH you piss. Probably the shittiest detail I have ever pulled.

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CrotchrocketSlm

Real advice (I just used this technique successfully):

• *The second you know this test is coming, stop smoking smartass. Don't make the situation any worse than it already is.
  
  *If you have more than a week warning, spend the next few days running/burning fat like crazy. Four days before the test, don't exercise at all, but load up on the fatty foods (burns off some of the THC remnants in your fat cells, then seals the rest in to a certain degree). Load up on the protien, creatine, and Vitamin B as well.
  
  *The day of the test, start drinking a gallon of water and a good quart of some kind of cranberry juice (I've found that those juice mixes work fine, though you want to have a mix that is decidely heavy with cranberry juice). Start with the water about four hours before the test, cranberry about 2 or 3. Make sure to be peeing when you get the urge, you want to flush your system out.
  
  *Take a vitamin B complex, or one with B-12 about four to two hours before the test. About two hours before the test, take four aspirins (assuming you don't have any heart conditions and/or stomach problems). Aspirin has been found to produce false negatives, but if you're worried about taking all this aspirin, the dilution method should theoretically be enough to help you out.
  
  *At the test, top off your bladder a little bit before leaving a sample... never put the beginning of the stream in the cup. You want the stuff from the middle of the stream; it'll have the least polluted urine.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful to someone, and isn't too late to help anyone out.

bartgroks

Uristat is the best stuff they make.

Piss tests are degrading whenever possible

JUST SAY NO!

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jwoody

A few trips to a sauna (as well as all of the above) will help.

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Mupwah

The real key is what type of test do they run. If it is a cheap on site test some stuff may work if they do the new high tech tests or hair tests you are out of luck. Newer tests test for creatine levels and adulterants. Flushing lowers your creatine level and shows abnormaly low. Taking creatine will not replace enough to cover. It may not test positive but will still give you away. If they do hair tests you are SCREWED. No way to beat it, goes back for months. I heard about some guy shaving his head and arms ect. They just pulled a pubic hair. They may or may not test for temperature but if they do urine staped to your body in any kind of container differs significantly from normal. If they observe and you are caught with somthing straped to your body you could also be screwed. A local county prosecutor near here charged sombody with felony possession of a forging instrument for having a device to beat a urine sample and got a conviction. The only proven way to test clean is to not use. Anything else may or may not work. You are taking a chance every time.

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striker3303

vineagar, pickle juice, flush with water, some special drink from the head shop? I just don't smoke if i have to take a UA.

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Sparhawk

Haha... was going to mention this but zipper beat me to it.

AragornZ

Well i passed the test after refraining for one month. If you dont have to take it immediatly just live clean for a month and you should be ok. If this for some reason isnt an option you need a plastic bladder and piece of tube. tape it to you leg and then grab the tube and use it instead. This place I was tested (independent clinic) never patted me down and nopthing was watching while i did my buisness. The warmth is key though.

axolotls

get your buddies clean urine and use a whatever device you can get to inject it into your own pee-pee, right before the test. i am sure this would work if someone has to be in the room to watch you whiz.

arcane

gonna have to lay off the greens for a bit...but it works

drink at least a gallon of water along with 3-4 multivitamins. also i heard that drinking cranberry juice will work. anyways flooding your system with the excess vitamins and water will make it so that when you piss test there will be so little amounts of thc in your piss that you will pass

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guitarjo

Okay,
The following preparations WORKED for me to pass a piss test (the rapid/instant- done-as-you-wait) test on Friday 3/21.
I had smoked boo daily until quite late Monday morning (3/17). I stopped then until I got home from taking the test 4 days later.
On Thursday at noon I begin drinking 16 oz. of plain water every two hours. I did this until I went to bed at midnight. (I took two multi vitamins with the last glass) I woke up at 7 am on the test day and continued drinking 16 oz. of water, only now I did it every 90 minutes. I also had three cups pf coffee during the hours between 7 am and noon. Two hours before the test I drank a liter of gator aid, then another one one hour before the test. Then during that last hour I drank two med. cups of strong coffee. I brought a container in the car with me to piss in as I was by then pissing every 15-to-20 minutes. I took the test @ 3:10 and passed.
Good luck to all! Also, Barney Frank is submitting a bill to de-criminalize having small quantities of pot for personal use. PLEASE send your Congressman/woman your support of this bill!
Peace,
Guitarjo

astyles

Another thing that they can see is that your pee is TOO clean.

Remember to not drink TOO much water when using cleansers. I bought stuff that worked for a 2 hour period and drank way too much water, not thinking once.

When you drink too much water it makes your pee really clear and they will be on to your little cleansing scheme. They will ask you to come back in several hours and pee again- and your cleanser may be out of your system by then.

If the only thing you have access to is short term cleansers and you want to make sure that you flush well and have good color to your pee you can drink a rockstar with your water, it will give it a nice yellow tint.

::RANT::
Anytime that you smoke or whatever (please lay off the hard drugs), you should plan on not passing a drug test. There is a time in our life that smoking is OK and there is a time in our life to stop.

If you support a family, don't smoke or do drugs.

If you plan on having a SERIOUS career, don't smoke or do drugs.

If you are a care-free hippie that catches your food off the pier and sleeps on the beach- fire it up my friend I commend you!

Everyone is different, no one can tell you what is right or wrong.

I personally haven't smoked in over a year and my life has changed dramatically. I am a father and husband now this is my time to stop.

Once you are a smoker you will always be a smoker, I want to smoke a joint all the time. You know when you are cruising across the lake with your buds on a perfect morning before hitting the wake or cruising down the highway with the top down on a road trip. For these reasons I never had a problem beating a drug test and thing that smoking should be legal for all of us.

Peace to everyone, everywhere!

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Derwood

i find it hard to believe that TFP board rules allow threads that openly help people break the law

Fotzlid

Drug testing is not legally mandated for all jobs.