Henry Earl takes on FEMA - The Henry Earl Game - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Poppinjay · 09-21-2005, 06:38 AM

For those unfamiliar with Henry Earl, http://www.monkeygumbo.com/wee/news/henryearl/

This is my entry, have him take on other jobs, characters from literature, etc.

No Worries! Henry Earl has taken over FEMA! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E130631.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 2pm - No need to evacate! The storm will blow itself out! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E146164.JPG" width="416" height="312"> 4pm - Do NOT close the liquor stores! I plan to visit. <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126442.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 9pm - Everything is fine here! Do you like my sweater? <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E136590.JPG" width="412" height="312"> What do you mean the Astrodome has collapsed? <img src="http://www.remud.org/~tzar/img/crayola.jpg" width="410" height="285"> 2am - Drunky, you're doing a heck of a job! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 4am - I have the president's confidence! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 4:10am - How many people live in Houston? I uh, think maybe 500. <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 4:11am - We don't have to worry about Padre Island, I think the tourist and fishing trade there is small. <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E132520.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 5am - I am not resigning! I thought I made that clear! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E142759.JPG" width="420" height="316"> 6am - The heavy work is done at this point, I'm going back to Washington to manage other potential disasters. <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126958.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 12pm - I swear, I have substantial disaster management experience! I got a merit badge! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E123923.JPG" width="412" height="312"> 3pm - President Bush has asked me to take on a new project, rebuilding social security. I look forward to a successful career, relying on my extensive experience in municipal assistant to the managership, and being a drunk old bastard.

Poppinjay · 09-21-2005, 10:23 AM

Well, if nobody else wants to play, I'll go again. I gues you could do this with other pictures, if you don't work in "Earl".

Henry Earl and unidentified co-star in Sinclair Lewis's "Babbitt"

Chapter 7

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E138518.JPG">
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg">
"That's so."

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E141671.JPG">
“An apple is Nature’s best regulator.”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg">
“Yes, it—”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E133372.JPG">
“Trouble with women is, they never have sense enough to form regular habits.”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg">
“Well, I—”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E131554.JPG">
“Always nibbling and eating between meals.”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg">
“George! Did you have a light lunch to-day, like you were going to? I did!”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E130942.JPG">
“Well, maybe it wasn’t as light as— Went to lunch with Paul and didn’t have much chance to diet. Oh, you needn’t to grin like a chessy cat! If it wasn’t for me watching out and keeping an eye on our diet— I’m the only member of this family that appreciates the value of oatmeal for breakfast. I—”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E129479.JPG">
“One thing I’ve done: cut down my smoking."

The end.

Poppinjay · 09-21-2005, 10:39 AM

Babbitt, starring Henry Earl and unidentified woman, Chapter 26, part two.

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"
"Yes?"

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122169.JPG">
“Well, well, old Zilla! By golly, it’s good to see you again!”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg">
“He can send his messages through a lawyer.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E120092.JPG">
“Why, rats, Zilla, I didn’t come just because of him. Came as an old friend.”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg">
"You waited long enough!"

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E120091.JPG">
“Well, you know how it is. Figured you wouldn’t want to see a friend of his for quite some time and— Sit down, honey! Let’s be sensible. We’ve all of us done a bunch of things that we hadn’t ought to, but maybe we can sort of start over again. Honest, Zilla, I’d like to do something to make you both happy. Know what I thought to-day? Mind you, Paul doesn’t know a thing about this—doesn’t know I was going to come see you. I got to thinking: Zilla’s a fine? big-hearted woman, and she’ll understand that, uh, Paul’s had his lesson now. Why wouldn’t it be a fine idea if you asked the governor to pardon him? Believe he would, if it came from you. No! Wait! Just think how good you’d feel if you were generous.”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg">
“Yes, I wish to be generous. For that reason I wish to keep him in prison, as an example to evil-doers. I’ve gotten religion, George, since the terrible thing that man did to me. Sometimes I used to be unkind, and I wished for worldly pleasures, for dancing and the theater. But when I was in the hospital the pastor of the Pentecostal Communion Faith used to come to see me, and he showed me, right from the prophecies written in the Word of God, that the Day of Judgment is coming and all the members of the older churches are going straight to eternal damnation, because they only do lip-service and swallow the world, the flesh, and the devil. It’s the blessing of God himself that Paul should be in prison now, and torn and humbled by punishment, so that he may yet save his soul, and so other wicked men, these horrible chasers after women and lust, may have an example.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E124212.JPG">
“Yes, I know, Zilla. But gosh, it certainly is the essence of religion to be charitable, isn’t it? Let me tell you how I figure it: What we need in the world is liberalism, liberality, if we’re going to get anywhere. I’ve always believed in being broad-minded and liberal—”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg">
“You? Liberal? Why, George Babbitt, you’re about as broad-minded and liberal as a razor-blade!”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E64303.JPG">
“Oh, I am, am I! Well, just let me tell you, just—let—me—tell—you, I’m as by golly liberal as you are religious, anyway! You religious!”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg">
“I am so! Our pastor says I sustain him in the faith!”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E132520.JPG">
“I’ll bet you do! With Paul’s money! But just to show you how liberal I am, I’m going to send a check for ten bucks to this Beecher Ingram, because a lot of fellows are saying the poor cuss preaches sedition and free love, and they’re trying to run him out of town.”

<img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg">
“And they’re right! They ought to run him out of town! Why, he preaches—if you can call it preaching—in a theater, in the House of Satan! You don’t know what it is to find God, to find peace, to behold the snares that the devil spreads out for our feet. Oh, I’m so glad to see the mysterious purposes of God in having Paul harm me and stop my wickedness—and Paul’s getting his, good and plenty, for the cruel things he did to me, and I hope he dies in prison!”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E136590.JPG">
“Well, if that’s what you call being at peace, for heaven’s sake just warn me before you go to war, will you?”

finis

Poppinjay · 09-22-2005, 03:57 AM

Well.... *I* think it's fun. I'll put up another later today.

Poppinjay · 09-22-2005, 12:33 PM

Sinclair Lewis's Babbitt, Chapter 24
Starring Henry Earl, that cast of Barbershop Review, and ... uh.. unidentified female

<img src="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1115979/photo_06.jpg">
“How about a little Eldorado Oil Rub, sir? Very beneficial to the scalp, sir. Didn’t I give you one the last time?”

<img src="http://henryearl.messedup.net/images/henry_beer.jpg">
“Well, all right.”

<img src="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1115979/photo_06.jpg">
“What is your favorite tonic, sir? Have you time to-day, sir, for a facial massage? Your scalp is a little tight; shall I give you a scalp massage?”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E147606.JPG">
“I don’t know, I guess I’ll have a manicure after all,”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
"You did your own nails last time, didn't you?"

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126649.JPG">
“Ye-es, guess I must ’ve.”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/005.jpg">
“You always ought to go to a manicure.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E127774.JPG">
“Yes, maybe that’s so. I—”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/007.jpg">
“There’s nothing looks so nice as nails that are looked after good. I always think that’s the best way to spot a real gent. There was an auto salesman in here yesterday that claimed you could always tell a fellow’s class by the car he drove, but I says to him, ‘Don’t be silly,’ I says; ‘the wisenheimers grab a look at a fellow’s nails when they want to tell if he’s a tin-horn or a real gent!”’

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128058.JPG">
“Yes, maybe there’s something to that. Course, that is—with a pretty kiddy like you, a man can’t help coming to get his mitts done.”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Yeh, I may be a kid, but I’m a wise bird, and I know nice folks when I see um—I can read character at a glance—and I’d never talk so frank with a fellow if I couldn’t see he was a nice fellow.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG">
“I suppose you have a lot of fellows who try to get fresh with you.”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/005.jpg">
“Say, gee, do I! Say, listen, there’s some of these cigar-store sports that think because a girl’s working in a barber shop, they can get away with anything. The things they saaaaaay! But, believe me, I know how to hop those birds! I just give um the north and south and ask um, ‘Say, who do you think you’re talking to?’ and they fade away like love’s young nightmare and oh, don’t you want a box of nail-paste? It will keep the nails as shiny as when first manicured, harmless to apply and lasts for days.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E135419.JPG">
“Sure, I’ll try some. Say— Say, it’s funny; I’ve been coming here ever since the shop opened and—I don’t believe I know your name!”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Don’t you? My, that’s funny! I don’t know yours!”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E148494.JPG">
“Now you quit kidding me! What’s the nice little name?”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/012.jpg">
“Oh, it ain’t so darn nice. I guess it’s kind of kike. But my folks ain’t kikes. My papa’s papa was a nobleman in Poland, and there was a gentleman in here one day, he was kind of a count or something—”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E138518.JPG">
“Kind of a no-account, I guess you mean!”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/003.jpg">
“Who’s telling this, smarty? And he said he knew my papa’s papa’s folks in Poland and they had a dandy big house. Right on a lake! Maybe you don’t believe it?”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG">
“Sure. No. Really. Sure I do. Why not? Don’t think I’m kidding you, honey, but every time I’ve noticed you I’ve said to myself, ‘That kid has Blue Blood in her veins!’”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/010.jpg">
"Did you, honest?"

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126958.JPG">
“Honest I did. Well, well, come on—now we’re friends—what’s the darling little name?”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Ida Putiak. It ain’t so much-a-much of a name. I always say to Ma, I say, ‘Ma, why didn’t you name me Doloress or something with some class to it?’”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126442.JPG">
“Well, now, I think it’s a scrumptious name. Ida!”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
"I bet I know your name!"

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126649.JPG">
“Well, now, not necessarily. Of course— Oh, it isn’t so specially well known.”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Aren’t you Mr. Sondheim that travels for the Krackajack Kitchen Kutlery Ko.?”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E132520.JPG">
“I am not! I’m Mr. Babbitt, the real-estate broker!”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/003.jpg">
“Oh, excuse me! Oh, of course. You mean here in Zenith.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E131554.JPG">
"Yep."

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Oh, sure. I’ve read your ads. They’re swell.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122284.JPG">
“Um, well— You might have read about my speeches.”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/010.jpg">
“Course I have! I don’t get much time to read but— I guess you think I’m an awfully silly little nit!”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122169.JPG">
“I think you’re a little darling!”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/009.jpg">
“Well— There’s one nice thing about this job. It gives a girl a chance to meet some awfully nice gentlemen and improve her mind with conversation, and you get so you can read a guy’s character at the first glance.”

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E120091.JPG">
“Look here, Ida; please don’t think I’m getting fresh...don’t think I’m getting fresh if I suggest it would be nice for us to go out and have a little dinner together some evening.”

<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/007.jpg">
“I don’t know as I ought to but— My gentleman-friend’s always wanting to take me out. But maybe I could to-night.”

finis.

pig · 09-22-2005, 01:24 PM

I might be the only one, but that had me rolling. Well, on the inside.

Salomon · 09-22-2005, 01:42 PM

Hehe!
I'm enjoying it.

Poppinjay · 09-23-2005, 01:12 PM

Can anybody point me to an online script for Death of a Salesman? I'd like to do that. I also looked at "Deliverance", you know the scene, but it doesn't translate to "Earl" well.

Poppinjay · 09-23-2005, 07:52 PM

A well, serached the antarweeb for a script, NADA, so I'll make up one of my own.

Aliens are invading America. Henry Earl is in charge. Starring Henry Earl, and a really attractive unidentified female.

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E135299.JPG">
Well, ah, we don't want to jump to alarm... you there, in the exposed bra....

<img src="http://danjoe.free.fr/galerie/albums/Buffy/Buffy_Alysson_Hannigan/normal_AlyssonHannigan4.jpg">
Sir, your plan of total capitulation and allowable anal probes... this sounds like a plan more in favor of the aliens than the American people.

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E181894.JPG">
Have you tried it? It can be enjoyable once you get past the initial entry pain.

<img src="http://teemix.aufeminin.com/imworld1/stars/fan/D20040902/972_377461731_alysson_hannigan_41_H141856_M.jpg">
Sir, I understand where you're coming from. In fact, this one time, at band camp..."

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG">
I know the story.. flute still up there?

<img src="http://www.webzinemaker.com/buffys/photo/pho1_184438.jpg">
Yes sir, you really do connect with the people!

<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E127774.JPG">
Well, I've been to band camp. I know about wind instruments.

<img src="http://www.autographdealer.com/images/AlyssonHanigan94.jpg">
Sir, a controversial question... on the eve of potential devestation from hurricane Rita, have you considered pledging your love to poppinjay? I have! I'm sleeping with him tonight!

...um, sorry... I need to go... take care of business.

09-21-2005, 06:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Henry Earl takes on FEMA - The Henry Earl Game For those unfamiliar with Henry Earl, http://www.monkeygumbo.com/wee/news/henryearl/ This is my entry, have him take on other jobs, characters from literature, etc. No Worries! Henry Earl has taken over FEMA!<br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E130631.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>2pm - No need to evacate! The storm will blow itself out!<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E146164.JPG" width="416" height="312"><br>4pm - Do NOT close the liquor stores! I plan to visit.<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126442.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>9pm - Everything is fine here! Do you like my sweater?<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E136590.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>What do you mean the Astrodome has collapsed?<p><br><img src="http://www.remud.org/~tzar/img/crayola.jpg" width="410" height="285"><br>2am - Drunky, you're doing a heck of a job!<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>4am - I have the president's confidence!<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>4:10am - How many people live in Houston? I uh, think maybe 500.<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>4:11am - We don't have to worry about Padre Island, I think the tourist and fishing trade there is small.<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E132520.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>5am - I am not resigning! I thought I made that clear!<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E142759.JPG" width="420" height="316"><br>6am - The heavy work is done at this point, I'm going back to Washington to manage other potential disasters.<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126958.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>12pm - I swear, I have substantial disaster management experience! I got a merit badge!<p><br><img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E123923.JPG" width="412" height="312"><br>3pm - President Bush has asked me to take on a new project, rebuilding social security. I look forward to a successful career, relying on my extensive experience in municipal assistant to the managership, and being a drunk old bastard. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

09-21-2005, 10:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Well, if nobody else wants to play, I'll go again. I gues you could do this with other pictures, if you don't work in "Earl". Henry Earl and unidentified co-star in Sinclair Lewis's "Babbitt" Chapter 7 <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E138518.JPG"> “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg"> "That's so." <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E141671.JPG"> “An apple is Nature’s best regulator.” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg"> “Yes, it—” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E133372.JPG"> “Trouble with women is, they never have sense enough to form regular habits.” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg"> “Well, I—” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E131554.JPG"> “Always nibbling and eating between meals.” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/thumbnails/2/Wannabe_Biker_Chick.jpg"> “George! Did you have a light lunch to-day, like you were going to? I did!” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E130942.JPG"> “Well, maybe it wasn’t as light as— Went to lunch with Paul and didn’t have much chance to diet. Oh, you needn’t to grin like a chessy cat! If it wasn’t for me watching out and keeping an eye on our diet— I’m the only member of this family that appreciates the value of oatmeal for breakfast. I—” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E129479.JPG"> “One thing I’ve done: cut down my smoking." The end. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet Last edited by Poppinjay; 09-22-2005 at 03:56 AM..

09-21-2005, 10:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Babbitt, starring Henry Earl and unidentified woman, Chapter 26, part two. <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg" "Yes?" <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122169.JPG"> “Well, well, old Zilla! By golly, it’s good to see you again!” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"> “He can send his messages through a lawyer.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E120092.JPG"> “Why, rats, Zilla, I didn’t come just because of him. Came as an old friend.” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"> "You waited long enough!" <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E120091.JPG"> “Well, you know how it is. Figured you wouldn’t want to see a friend of his for quite some time and— Sit down, honey! Let’s be sensible. We’ve all of us done a bunch of things that we hadn’t ought to, but maybe we can sort of start over again. Honest, Zilla, I’d like to do something to make you both happy. Know what I thought to-day? Mind you, Paul doesn’t know a thing about this—doesn’t know I was going to come see you. I got to thinking: Zilla’s a fine? big-hearted woman, and she’ll understand that, uh, Paul’s had his lesson now. Why wouldn’t it be a fine idea if you asked the governor to pardon him? Believe he would, if it came from you. No! Wait! Just think how good you’d feel if you were generous.” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"> “Yes, I wish to be generous. For that reason I wish to keep him in prison, as an example to evil-doers. I’ve gotten religion, George, since the terrible thing that man did to me. Sometimes I used to be unkind, and I wished for worldly pleasures, for dancing and the theater. But when I was in the hospital the pastor of the Pentecostal Communion Faith used to come to see me, and he showed me, right from the prophecies written in the Word of God, that the Day of Judgment is coming and all the members of the older churches are going straight to eternal damnation, because they only do lip-service and swallow the world, the flesh, and the devil. It’s the blessing of God himself that Paul should be in prison now, and torn and humbled by punishment, so that he may yet save his soul, and so other wicked men, these horrible chasers after women and lust, may have an example.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E124212.JPG"> “Yes, I know, Zilla. But gosh, it certainly is the essence of religion to be charitable, isn’t it? Let me tell you how I figure it: What we need in the world is liberalism, liberality, if we’re going to get anywhere. I’ve always believed in being broad-minded and liberal—” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"> “You? Liberal? Why, George Babbitt, you’re about as broad-minded and liberal as a razor-blade!” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E64303.JPG"> “Oh, I am, am I! Well, just let me tell you, just—let—me—tell—you, I’m as by golly liberal as you are religious, anyway! You religious!” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"> “I am so! Our pastor says I sustain him in the faith!” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E132520.JPG"> “I’ll bet you do! With Paul’s money! But just to show you how liberal I am, I’m going to send a check for ten bucks to this Beecher Ingram, because a lot of fellows are saying the poor cuss preaches sedition and free love, and they’re trying to run him out of town.” <img src="http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/scaryspicemum.jpg"> “And they’re right! They ought to run him out of town! Why, he preaches—if you can call it preaching—in a theater, in the House of Satan! You don’t know what it is to find God, to find peace, to behold the snares that the devil spreads out for our feet. Oh, I’m so glad to see the mysterious purposes of God in having Paul harm me and stop my wickedness—and Paul’s getting his, good and plenty, for the cruel things he did to me, and I hope he dies in prison!” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E136590.JPG"> “Well, if that’s what you call being at peace, for heaven’s sake just warn me before you go to war, will you?” finis __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

09-22-2005, 03:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Well.... I think it's fun. I'll put up another later today. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

09-22-2005, 12:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Sinclair Lewis's Babbitt, Chapter 24 Starring Henry Earl, that cast of Barbershop Review, and ... uh.. unidentified female <img src="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1115979/photo_06.jpg"> “How about a little Eldorado Oil Rub, sir? Very beneficial to the scalp, sir. Didn’t I give you one the last time?” <img src="http://henryearl.messedup.net/images/henry_beer.jpg"> “Well, all right.” <img src="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1115979/photo_06.jpg"> “What is your favorite tonic, sir? Have you time to-day, sir, for a facial massage? Your scalp is a little tight; shall I give you a scalp massage?” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E147606.JPG"> “I don’t know, I guess I’ll have a manicure after all,” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> "You did your own nails last time, didn't you?" <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126649.JPG"> “Ye-es, guess I must ’ve.” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/005.jpg"> “You always ought to go to a manicure.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E127774.JPG"> “Yes, maybe that’s so. I—” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/007.jpg"> “There’s nothing looks so nice as nails that are looked after good. I always think that’s the best way to spot a real gent. There was an auto salesman in here yesterday that claimed you could always tell a fellow’s class by the car he drove, but I says to him, ‘Don’t be silly,’ I says; ‘the wisenheimers grab a look at a fellow’s nails when they want to tell if he’s a tin-horn or a real gent!”’ <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128058.JPG"> “Yes, maybe there’s something to that. Course, that is—with a pretty kiddy like you, a man can’t help coming to get his mitts done.” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> “Yeh, I may be a kid, but I’m a wise bird, and I know nice folks when I see um—I can read character at a glance—and I’d never talk so frank with a fellow if I couldn’t see he was a nice fellow.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG"> “I suppose you have a lot of fellows who try to get fresh with you.” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/005.jpg"> “Say, gee, do I! Say, listen, there’s some of these cigar-store sports that think because a girl’s working in a barber shop, they can get away with anything. The things they saaaaaay! But, believe me, I know how to hop those birds! I just give um the north and south and ask um, ‘Say, who do you think you’re talking to?’ and they fade away like love’s young nightmare and oh, don’t you want a box of nail-paste? It will keep the nails as shiny as when first manicured, harmless to apply and lasts for days.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E135419.JPG"> “Sure, I’ll try some. Say— Say, it’s funny; I’ve been coming here ever since the shop opened and—I don’t believe I know your name!” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> “Don’t you? My, that’s funny! I don’t know yours!” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E148494.JPG"> “Now you quit kidding me! What’s the nice little name?” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/012.jpg"> “Oh, it ain’t so darn nice. I guess it’s kind of kike. But my folks ain’t kikes. My papa’s papa was a nobleman in Poland, and there was a gentleman in here one day, he was kind of a count or something—” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E138518.JPG"> “Kind of a no-account, I guess you mean!” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/003.jpg"> “Who’s telling this, smarty? And he said he knew my papa’s papa’s folks in Poland and they had a dandy big house. Right on a lake! Maybe you don’t believe it?” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128918.JPG"> “Sure. No. Really. Sure I do. Why not? Don’t think I’m kidding you, honey, but every time I’ve noticed you I’ve said to myself, ‘That kid has Blue Blood in her veins!’” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/010.jpg"> "Did you, honest?" <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126958.JPG"> “Honest I did. Well, well, come on—now we’re friends—what’s the darling little name?” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> “Ida Putiak. It ain’t so much-a-much of a name. I always say to Ma, I say, ‘Ma, why didn’t you name me Doloress or something with some class to it?’” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126442.JPG"> “Well, now, I think it’s a scrumptious name. Ida!” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> "I bet I know your name!" <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126649.JPG"> “Well, now, not necessarily. Of course— Oh, it isn’t so specially well known.” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> “Aren’t you Mr. Sondheim that travels for the Krackajack Kitchen Kutlery Ko.?” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E132520.JPG"> “I am not! I’m Mr. Babbitt, the real-estate broker!” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/003.jpg"> “Oh, excuse me! Oh, of course. You mean here in Zenith.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E131554.JPG"> "Yep." <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg"> “Oh, sure. I’ve read your ads. They’re swell.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122284.JPG"> “Um, well— You might have read about my speeches.” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/010.jpg"> “Course I have! I don’t get much time to read but— I guess you think I’m an awfully silly little nit!” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122169.JPG"> “I think you’re a little darling!” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/009.jpg"> “Well— There’s one nice thing about this job. It gives a girl a chance to meet some awfully nice gentlemen and improve her mind with conversation, and you get so you can read a guy’s character at the first glance.” <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E120091.JPG"> “Look here, Ida; please don’t think I’m getting fresh...don’t think I’m getting fresh if I suggest it would be nice for us to go out and have a little dinner together some evening.” <img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/007.jpg"> “I don’t know as I ought to but— My gentleman-friend’s always wanting to take me out. But maybe I could to-night.” finis. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

09-22-2005, 01:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	I might be the only one, but that had me rolling. Well, on the inside. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

09-22-2005, 01:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
Salomon Loser	Hehe! I'm enjoying it.

09-23-2005, 01:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Can anybody point me to an online script for Death of a Salesman? I'd like to do that. I also looked at "Deliverance", you know the scene, but it doesn't translate to "Earl" well. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

09-23-2005, 07:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	A well, serached the antarweeb for a script, NADA, so I'll make up one of my own. Aliens are invading America. Henry Earl is in charge. Starring Henry Earl, and a really attractive unidentified female. <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E135299.JPG"> Well, ah, we don't want to jump to alarm... you there, in the exposed bra.... <img src="http://danjoe.free.fr/galerie/albums/Buffy/Buffy_Alysson_Hannigan/normal_AlyssonHannigan4.jpg"> Sir, your plan of total capitulation and allowable anal probes... this sounds like a plan more in favor of the aliens than the American people. <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E181894.JPG"> Have you tried it? It can be enjoyable once you get past the initial entry pain. <img src="http://teemix.aufeminin.com/imworld1/stars/fan/D20040902/972_377461731_alysson_hannigan_41_H141856_M.jpg"> Sir, I understand where you're coming from. In fact, this one time, at band camp..." <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG"> I know the story.. flute still up there? <img src="http://www.webzinemaker.com/buffys/photo/pho1_184438.jpg"> Yes sir, you really do connect with the people! <img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E127774.JPG"> Well, I've been to band camp. I know about wind instruments. <img src="http://www.autographdealer.com/images/AlyssonHanigan94.jpg"> Sir, a controversial question... on the eve of potential devestation from hurricane Rita, have you considered pledging your love to poppinjay? I have! I'm sleeping with him tonight! ...um, sorry... I need to go... take care of business. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet Last edited by Poppinjay; 09-23-2005 at 08:04 PM..