Sinclair Lewis's Babbitt, Chapter 24
Starring Henry Earl, that cast of Barbershop Review, and ... uh.. unidentified female
<img src="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1115979/photo_06.jpg">
“How about a little Eldorado Oil Rub, sir? Very beneficial to the scalp, sir. Didn’t I give you one the last time?”
<img src="http://henryearl.messedup.net/images/henry_beer.jpg">
“Well, all right.”
<img src="http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/gallery/1115979/photo_06.jpg">
“What is your favorite tonic, sir? Have you time to-day, sir, for a facial massage? Your scalp is a little tight; shall I give you a scalp massage?”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E147606.JPG">
“I don’t know, I guess I’ll have a manicure after all,”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
"You did your own nails last time, didn't you?"
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126649.JPG">
“Ye-es, guess I must ’ve.”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/005.jpg">
“You always ought to go to a manicure.”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E127774.JPG">
“Yes, maybe that’s so. I—”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/007.jpg">
“There’s nothing looks so nice as nails that are looked after good. I always think that’s the best way to spot a real gent. There was an auto salesman in here yesterday that claimed you could always tell a fellow’s class by the car he drove, but I says to him, ‘Don’t be silly,’ I says; ‘the wisenheimers grab a look at a fellow’s nails when they want to tell if he’s a tin-horn or a real gent!”’
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128058.JPG">
“Yes, maybe there’s something to that. Course, that is—with a pretty kiddy like you, a man can’t help coming to get his mitts done.”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Yeh, I may be a kid, but I’m a wise bird, and I know nice folks when I see um—I can read character at a glance—and I’d never talk so frank with a fellow if I couldn’t see he was a nice fellow.”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E128672.JPG">
“I suppose you have a lot of fellows who try to get fresh with you.”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/005.jpg">
“Say, gee, do I! Say, listen, there’s some of these cigar-store sports that think because a girl’s working in a barber shop, they can get away with anything. The things they saaaaaay! But, believe me, I know how to hop those birds! I just give um the north and south and ask um, ‘Say, who do you think you’re talking to?’ and they fade away like love’s young nightmare and oh, don’t you want a box of nail-paste? It will keep the nails as shiny as when first manicured, harmless to apply and lasts for days.”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E135419.JPG">
“Sure, I’ll try some. Say— Say, it’s funny; I’ve been coming here ever since the shop opened and—I don’t believe I know your name!”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Don’t you? My, that’s funny! I don’t know yours!”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E148494.JPG">
“Now you quit kidding me! What’s the nice little name?”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/012.jpg">
“Oh, it ain’t so darn nice. I guess it’s kind of kike. But my folks ain’t kikes. My papa’s papa was a nobleman in Poland, and there was a gentleman in here one day, he was kind of a count or something—”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E138518.JPG">
“Kind of a no-account, I guess you mean!”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/003.jpg">
“Who’s telling this, smarty? And he said he knew my papa’s papa’s folks in Poland and they had a dandy big house. Right on a lake! Maybe you don’t believe it?”
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“Sure. No. Really. Sure I do. Why not? Don’t think I’m kidding you, honey, but every time I’ve noticed you I’ve said to myself, ‘That kid has Blue Blood in her veins!’”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/010.jpg">
"Did you, honest?"
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“Honest I did. Well, well, come on—now we’re friends—what’s the darling little name?”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Ida Putiak. It ain’t so much-a-much of a name. I always say to Ma, I say, ‘Ma, why didn’t you name me Doloress or something with some class to it?’”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E126442.JPG">
“Well, now, I think it’s a scrumptious name. Ida!”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
"I bet I know your name!"
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“Well, now, not necessarily. Of course— Oh, it isn’t so specially well known.”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Aren’t you Mr. Sondheim that travels for the Krackajack Kitchen Kutlery Ko.?”
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“I am not! I’m Mr. Babbitt, the real-estate broker!”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/003.jpg">
“Oh, excuse me! Oh, of course. You mean here in Zenith.”
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"Yep."
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/011.jpg">
“Oh, sure. I’ve read your ads. They’re swell.”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122284.JPG">
“Um, well— You might have read about my speeches.”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/010.jpg">
“Course I have! I don’t get much time to read but— I guess you think I’m an awfully silly little nit!”
<img src="http://jail.lfucg.com/inmateimages/E/E122169.JPG">
“I think you’re a little darling!”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/009.jpg">
“Well— There’s one nice thing about this job. It gives a girl a chance to meet some awfully nice gentlemen and improve her mind with conversation, and you get so you can read a guy’s character at the first glance.”
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“Look here, Ida; please don’t think I’m getting fresh...don’t think I’m getting fresh if I suggest it would be nice for us to go out and have a little dinner together some evening.”
<img src="http://www.mielofon.com/actress/christina_ricci/007.jpg">
“I don’t know as I ought to but— My gentleman-friend’s always wanting to take me out. But maybe I could to-night.”
finis.