You had me at hello
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Babbitt, starring Henry Earl and unidentified woman, Chapter 26, part two.
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"Yes?"
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“Well, well, old Zilla! By golly, it’s good to see you again!”
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“He can send his messages through a lawyer.”
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“Why, rats, Zilla, I didn’t come just because of him. Came as an old friend.”
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"You waited long enough!"
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“Well, you know how it is. Figured you wouldn’t want to see a friend of his for quite some time and— Sit down, honey! Let’s be sensible. We’ve all of us done a bunch of things that we hadn’t ought to, but maybe we can sort of start over again. Honest, Zilla, I’d like to do something to make you both happy. Know what I thought to-day? Mind you, Paul doesn’t know a thing about this—doesn’t know I was going to come see you. I got to thinking: Zilla’s a fine? big-hearted woman, and she’ll understand that, uh, Paul’s had his lesson now. Why wouldn’t it be a fine idea if you asked the governor to pardon him? Believe he would, if it came from you. No! Wait! Just think how good you’d feel if you were generous.”
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“Yes, I wish to be generous. For that reason I wish to keep him in prison, as an example to evil-doers. I’ve gotten religion, George, since the terrible thing that man did to me. Sometimes I used to be unkind, and I wished for worldly pleasures, for dancing and the theater. But when I was in the hospital the pastor of the Pentecostal Communion Faith used to come to see me, and he showed me, right from the prophecies written in the Word of God, that the Day of Judgment is coming and all the members of the older churches are going straight to eternal damnation, because they only do lip-service and swallow the world, the flesh, and the devil. It’s the blessing of God himself that Paul should be in prison now, and torn and humbled by punishment, so that he may yet save his soul, and so other wicked men, these horrible chasers after women and lust, may have an example.”
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“Yes, I know, Zilla. But gosh, it certainly is the essence of religion to be charitable, isn’t it? Let me tell you how I figure it: What we need in the world is liberalism, liberality, if we’re going to get anywhere. I’ve always believed in being broad-minded and liberal—”
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“You? Liberal? Why, George Babbitt, you’re about as broad-minded and liberal as a razor-blade!”
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“Oh, I am, am I! Well, just let me tell you, just—let—me—tell—you, I’m as by golly liberal as you are religious, anyway! You religious!”
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“I am so! Our pastor says I sustain him in the faith!”
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“I’ll bet you do! With Paul’s money! But just to show you how liberal I am, I’m going to send a check for ten bucks to this Beecher Ingram, because a lot of fellows are saying the poor cuss preaches sedition and free love, and they’re trying to run him out of town.”
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“And they’re right! They ought to run him out of town! Why, he preaches—if you can call it preaching—in a theater, in the House of Satan! You don’t know what it is to find God, to find peace, to behold the snares that the devil spreads out for our feet. Oh, I’m so glad to see the mysterious purposes of God in having Paul harm me and stop my wickedness—and Paul’s getting his, good and plenty, for the cruel things he did to me, and I hope he dies in prison!”
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“Well, if that’s what you call being at peace, for heaven’s sake just warn me before you go to war, will you?”
finis
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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
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