|
03-12-2004, 06:00 PM
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
Psycho
Location: somewhere
|
things you learn from the movies
i don't know if this has been posted here already, but i tried every possible search word i could think of and didn't find anything.
-------------------------------------------------------- During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once When they are alone all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patricks Day parade -- at any time of the year All beds have a special L-shaped cover sheet that reach up to the armpit level on a woman, but only to the waist level on a man lying beside her The chief of police will almost always suspend his star detective-- or give him 48 hours to complete the job All grocery bags contain at least one French bread The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place-- no one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected Police departments give ther officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to partner who is their polar opposite The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language-- simply having a German accent will do A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds Kitchen don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing clothing Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames Mediaeval peasants had perfect teeth Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant Even when driving down a perfectly strait road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments It is always possible to park directly in front of the building you are visiting A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended of his duty It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-- your enemies will patiently attack you one on one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors No one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock Any lock van be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds-- unless its a door to a burning building with children trapped inside Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired
__________________
~my karma ran over my dogma.~ 
|
|
|
03-13-2004, 07:49 PM
|
#5 (permalink) |
|
Insane
Location: On a gravel road rough enought to knock fillings out of teeth.
|
You forgot that a bulletproof vest on a good guy will stop a .300 Winchester Magnum, but a 9mm will hit a bad guy with the force of an anti-tank round.
__________________
Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself. |
|
|
|
03-15-2004, 05:24 AM
|
#9 (permalink) |
|
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
Location: In the dust of the archives
|
A six shot revolver is capable of firing up to 38 shots, without reloading, before the hero comes face to face with the bad guy. Then, and only then, will the hammer fall on a spent round, making that "click" sound.
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt. |
|
|
|
03-15-2004, 06:20 AM
|
#10 (permalink) |
|
Addict
Location: Liverpool, UK
|
Everyone else can fire up to 3,000 rounds, but the only shots that actually do any damage or wound anyone are always fired by the leading actors.
Unless they're in the A-Team that is !!!!!!!!!
__________________
"never mind that shit........here comes Mongo!" 
|
|
|
|
03-17-2004, 01:41 PM
|
#11 (permalink) |
|
Thats MR. Muffin Face now
Location: Everywhere work sends me
|
- all bad guys smoke
- the leitenant is always crooked, and the captain is not, but the mayor is always breathing down his neck - terrorists always have siblings that are trained for revenge - strippers have hearts of gold, and cute kids - the autistic kid / old bum / crazy cat lady, saw the crime
__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?" -- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death |
|
|
|
03-17-2004, 01:49 PM
|
#12 (permalink) |
|
Tone.
|
- Firearms have magic clips full of unlimited ammunition.
- Those magic clips have a Convience Monitor, which disables the ammunition replinishment at the most inconvenient time. - Explosions will not hurt you as long as you leap forward at the precise moment the explosion takes place. - All good guys have ExplosiTimer implants which enable them to know the exact moment to jump away from the explosion. - The internet is always at least 20 years more advanced in any given movie than in real life. - Tapping 7 keys on a computer keyboard results in the input of 5 lines of text. |
|
|
|
03-17-2004, 08:12 PM
|
#13 (permalink) |
|
Addict
|
A girl running away from a guy in a mask will pick up a big stick and hit him but when the bad guy goes down she will drop the stick and continue running histerically.
The main bad guy in a martial arts movie is invincible until the hero makes his comeback from near death. At that stage even the most pussy hit will do devastating damage. The main bad guy in a martial arts movie will have perfect technique under the most stressfull time but after the hero makes his post comeback arse whipping he abbandons everything for a screaming running charge. The female love interest has to be useless but may either be the damsel in distress or a stroppy femanist. The hero can be getting his arse kicked by 5 guys but still able to stop the 1 guy chasing after the love interest. During a dance everyone miraculously knows the same moves though it is a spontaneous dance. Any car that is being overtaken by a cyclist can still make screechy noises during a chase. |
|
|
| Tags |
| learn, movies, things |
|
|
