Karby

i don't know if this has been posted here already, but i tried every possible search word i could think of and didn't find anything.

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During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once

When they are alone all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patricks Day parade -- at any time of the year

All beds have a special L-shaped cover sheet that reach up to the armpit level on a woman, but only to the waist level on a man lying beside her

The chief of police will almost always suspend his star detective-- or give him 48 hours to complete the job

All grocery bags contain at least one French bread

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place-- no one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected

Police departments give ther officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to partner who is their polar opposite

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off

You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language-- simply having a German accent will do

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds

Kitchen don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing clothing

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames

Mediaeval peasants had perfect teeth

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant

Even when driving down a perfectly strait road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments

It is always possible to park directly in front of the building you are visiting

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended of his duty

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-- your enemies will patiently attack you one on one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors

No one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock

Any lock van be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds-- unless its a door to a burning building with children trapped inside

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired

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~my karma ran over my dogma.~