hankjunior

I took the trouble to check, and couldn't find this one so . . .

The 3rd grade teacher is testing the class on vocabulary and says "Now I will give you a letter of the alphabet and you have to give me a word that starts with that letter and explain what the word means".

She starts with the letter "A" and up shoots little Johnny's hand, but the teacher knows he will say "arse" or something similar, so she asks Mary.

"Please Miss", says Mary, "Ant - It's a small insect".

"Very good, Mary", says the teacher, "Now who can give me a word which starts with "B"?

Up shoots little Johnny's hand, but the teacher asks Billy, knowing that Johnny will say balls, or bullshit.

"Please Miss", says Billy, "Baseball - a sport".

"Excellent, Billy" says the teacher. "Now what about the letter "C". She completely ignores little Johnny, knowing what is likely to be coming, and points to Sally.

"Please Miss," says Sally, "Cow - an animal which give milk".

The teacher gets to the letter "D" and, as usual, up shoots little Johnny's hand. The teacher can't think of any dirty word which starts with "D", so she decides to ask Johnny.

"Well, Johnny", she says, "can you tell us a word which starts with "D"?

"Yes, miss", Johnny says, "Dwarf".

The teacher is stunned, not only that Johnny has come up with a clean word, but that he has come up with quite a difficult word.

"Johnny", says the teacher, "that is a very good word, but can you tell us what a dwarf is"?

"Yes, miss", Johnny replies, " a little man about 3 foot tall what fucks fairies"

yankeefatboy

After all these years, "Little Johnny" jokes never get old.

orville

Little Johnny is playing in his room with his train set. His mother listens in to see how he's doing. Johnny stops the train at the station and says all you bastards who want off the train can get off. All you son's of bitches that want on the train can get on.
Johnny's mother walks into the room scolding him for his language. She gives him one hour quit time in the kitchen while she makes dinner. After the hour is up she says "you can go play now johnny.
Johnny runs upstairs and starts playing with his train again. Mom sneaks up to the door and listens in.........
Johnny stops the train at the station and says-
All you nice people who want to get off the train may do so. All you nice people who would like to get on the train may now do so.
Everyone pissed off about the hour delay can go talk to the Bitch in the kitchen!

---------- Post added at 10:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:01 AM ----------

Little Johnny in the 9th grade and 21 years old now staying after school...............
teacher to Johnny-Here are some vocabulary words on this worksheet please use each word in a sentence. We need to work on your vocabulary.
1st word is random.
Johnny-I was late for school and the lights kept turning red so I random.
2nd word-glass
Johnny-After I got home I went to get high but couldn't find any of my glass.
3rd word-celibate
Johnny- My girl freind started to get a ceibate but I made her run 4 miles a day to work it off.
4th word-rectum
Johnny- I used to have two nice cars but my girlfreind rectum.
5th word-honor
Johnny-I swear judge it wasn't rape I never even got honor.