I love beers!

I hate bears!

I am neutral about pears!

I like most of my peers!

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A scientific experiment was carried out to ascertain if sulphur is attracted to magnets.

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A lump of sulphur is placed in a little brown tray type thing. For those of you in the scientific field of Advanced Pointless Research you will realise that 'little brown tray type thing' is an actual technical term. Very scientific.

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The sulphur is transported to the base of a scientific tripod, and then covered with an ordinary tissue.

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We then take our experimental magnet.

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It is washed...

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...and then dried. This is to remove any magentic impurities in the magnet. Impurities wreak havok on scientific results.

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The magnet is then fixed to a movable clamp at the top of the tripod.

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The tissue is now removed from the base of the tripod.

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And then carefully disposed of. This tissue is now classified as Type-II hazardous scientific waste.

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We can see that the lump of sulphur is now totally exposed to the magnetic power of the magent. Let the science begin!

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The magnet is lowered down towards the sulphur.

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And lowered even more. It's very close now.

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So is sulhpur attracted to magnets?

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No.

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There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Science has spoken. The Effects Of Magnets On Sulphur is; nothing. Well I hope that you all had as much fun with this experiment as I did.

And I do believe that that makes post #900. Goodnight all.

Doesn't posting that many times break some sort of covenant with god? :D

heh.

this thread is advancing nicely...

good work every1!!!

that's what i thought. aparently not, i think i posted over 100 post just in this thread. it's insane. :)

my post count has increased a lot! :thumbsup: not that it matters. i just wanted to be back to 1 post a day. i was slacking for a while. :)

so...
who do u think contributes the most to this thread???
well,
as of this moment:

CSflim - 308
NoSoup - 242
mexicanonabike - 70
FailedEagle - 50
skier - 41
Jeff - 36
MojoRisin - 28
Ishmal - 18
Carn - 16
flyman - 14
Fremen & fredweena - 10
alpha phi - 9
trickyy - 8
Tophat665 - 6
feelgood - 4
Charlatan, Stiltzkin, Bob Biter, Bacchanal & Daoust - 3
Zeraph, Poppinjay, uncle phil & aKula - 2
Leto, Blasphemy., willravel, blahblah454, albania, fresnelly, JumpinJesus, ShaniFaye, shadowfiend, leftyderek, flamingdog - 1

lets make a competition out of this information...

first to 500???

what do u all say???

for simplicities sake i'll cut it down to the top 5...


1st CSflim - 308
2nd NoSoup - 242
3rd mexicanonabike - 70
4th FailedEagle - 50
5th skier - 41

I just couldn't resist.

Wow, thanks for wasting my time with that CSflim.

Well, might as well take over that 5th place spot.

Getting closer

...and closer

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute.

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the little sticker that says...

I - DA - HO

Yo momma so old, I told her to "act her age," and the bitch died!

I was up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

Q. Why can't Bill Clinton work at KFC?

A. He can't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.

Out Of College


You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Your potted plants stay alive.

Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

You have to pay your own credit card bill.

You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.

8:00 a.m. is not early.

You have to file your own taxes.

You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

You're not carded anymore.

You carry an umbrella.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.

You start watching the Weather Channel.

Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.

You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

You go to parties that the police don't raid.

Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.

Your car insurance goes down, except when you move to Jersey.

You refer to college students as kids.

You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum. Well, some of us still drink rum.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.

You're waking up at 6 a.m. instead of going to bed.

College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.

Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.

Dinner and a movie — the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.

METABOLISM SLOWDOWN

Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.

You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.

When drinking, you say at least once per night, "I just can't put it down like I used to."

Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

You decide your parents weren't as dumb as you thought!

Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?

A. It's a sin to put it in, but a shame to pull it out!

A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son


Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma

Pimpbot 5000: All the bitches think I'm pretty. Bought my face at Circuit City.