what the fuck are you drinkin' girl?

Whatever the fuck it is, Nancy, care to share?

I must say... what an absolutely fucking gorgeous day it was today. It was 46 fucking degrees farenheit when I dragged my fuckin' exhausted ass out of bed and it warmed up to a fucking fantastic 79 by two this afternoon. Fuck, yeah! I love being fucking happy again.

*pours fredweena a drink* It's called a fucking fire engine this drink, flyman. It's a mix of strawberry soda and jägermeister. Mmmm fucking mm!

Let's fucking do it then.

I give you: jwoody's theory of rela-fucking-tivity.

If I said you look like a fucking fish, there's a pretty good chance you'd take offense but, think about the fucker for a minute: lie on your belly, stick your fucking arms down your side and point your fucking face straight ahead.

Now tell me, do you look like a fucking fish, or what?

It's all fucking relative, innit?

shit...I fucking forgot

Nancy your a better fucken person then me Jager = poison. Good fucken shit though, JAGER BOMBS BOOOM!! Gotta fucken love'm.

Fucking fish...are they anything like those Chinese Fighting Fish?

and...more importantly...do they have big fuckin' tits?

fuckin' fish with tits??????


my fucking god man............that's sick.



fish............

with fucking tits.............

fuck me..............

Life is so fucking good.

fucken right

what, you never heard of fishsticks?

i don't really fucking care for fishsticks
mexican food fucking rocks!

I have to fuckin agree. Fucking Mexican food rocks.

Ya know, I read every fuckin' post in this fucking thread, and I don't fucking get it...
Is everyone this fucking bored?
GOOD! I thought I was the only fucking one :hmm:

Well fuck me sonikeko (deff not literally lol)I though everyone gets this fucken bored in some part of the day.

What a fucking day!

Imagine having to explain fucking sliding doors and fucking ceiling track hoist systems to an Iraqi interpreter, then waiting while he translated the fucker into Arabic, then waiting while the fucking Iraqis mulled over the aformentioned fucking stuff, then getting their fucking replies translated into fucking English.


Iraqi: "Habalabalabala"

Translator: "Is it possible?"

Me: "No."

Translator: "Habalabalabala"

Iraqis: "Habalabalabala"

Translator: "Is it possible?"

Me: "It's not possible"

Translator: "Habalabalabala"

Iraqis: "Habalabalabala"

Translator: "It is not possible?"

Me: "LOOK! IT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE. IT - IS - NOT - FUCKING - POSSIBLE!!!"

Translator: "Habalabalabala"

Iraqis: "Habalabalabala"

Translator: "It is possible is it not?"

Me: "Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!!!"

FOUR fucking hours of that fucker. I could fucking scream.

What's up with that fucking language, anyway?

Why do they sound so fucking angry all the time?

Here's me, sitting there expecting to get my fucking bollocks chewed because they can't have their fucking sliding doors and a fucking ceiling track, when what the fuckers are actually saying is 'thankyou very much' and wishing all kinds of fucking peace on me, my fucking family.... the fucking dog etc.

Nice fucking people, though, especially the translator dude. He kept fucking shouting at me then apologising, saying "I'm not shouting, they shout - I translate, okay?"

I guess it fucking is! :lol:

Interesting conversation :lol:

What the fuck is a ceiling track anyway??

Seriously, Nancy, if I can't explain the fucker in person.... what hope have I got to explain the fucker over the internet?

All you need to know is, you can't have a fucking ceiling track that goes through a fucking sliding door.

IT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE!!!

HABALABALABALABALA, NOT-FUCKING-POSSIBLE!!!

O-fucking-K?

Sorry 'bout that, for minute there I was back in the room with the fucking Iraqi interrogation squad.

http://www.independentliving.co.uk/w...ransactive.jpg

Now jwoody, I want you to take a look at this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...sinabarrel.jpg

This is two kittens in a barrel. Look at them in there, having a whale of a time. You see the one on the left? He's called Phillip. Now when you look into Phillip's eyes your anger will receed like an ocean.....


....Good. Now that you're calm you can try explaining to me one more time, what the purpose of a fucking ceiling track is.

Hey, it fucking worked.

I'm a sea of fucking tranquility.

OK then, I'll fucking explain:

You see, it's like this fucker. A fucking ceiling track hoist system is used transport those less-fortunates who are unable to use their fucking legs for transportation purposes via a fucking track fixed to the fucking ceiling.

Hence the fucking name: Ceiling track.

My beloved client's are from fucking Iraq. In Iraq they fucking love their sliding doors, whereas us fucking Europeans have adopted the hinged door methodology.

Trouble is, you can't have a fucking ceiling track that goes through a sliding door because.....

*jwoody does a fucking acid dance*

You fucking understand?

*jwoody does the fucking power rangers power up stance*

You fucking got it yet?

*jwoody does the Adam & The Ants, Prince Charming dance*

You see what I mean?

*jwoody mimes the act of a person doing fucking crossed arm scratching on upside-down turntables*

..because it's like...

... it's not fucking possible.

jwoody, I'd like you to stop fooling around and take another look at your friend, Phillip.

...Good. You know, you could've spared yourself all that fucking dancing - I know perfectly well that those two cannot be combined - it's quite fucking obvisouly why. I just wanted to know the purpose of the ceiling track that's fucking all.

Now..who the fuck are Adam & The Ants and Prince Charming?

This is Adam Fucking Ant.

http://www.vintageblues.com/the80s/adam_ant.jpg

Prince Charming was a fucking school disco classic when I was a wee'n.

All the chicks on one side of the fucking dance floor and the dudes on the other. You did this fucking dance - a lot like describing why ceiling tracks and fucking sliding doors don't mix - where you put your fucking arms up and sort of fucking crossed. :lol:

You'd always get some fucking smart arse going sideways through the perfectly synchronised formation dancers. Trust me, it was fucking great.

What? Nobody fucking remembers?

Just fucking me - again.

Looks like a fuckin scary Johnny Depp.

Johnny Fuckin Depp would kill to be half as fuckin cool as Adam Fuckin Ant.


there, I said it and I fuckin mean it.

With the"fuckin'" heartbreak open
So much you can’t hide
Put on a little makeup makeup
Make sure they get your good side good side

If the words un"fuckin'"spoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note

Don’t drink don’t smoke -"fuckin'" what do you do?
Don’t drink don’t smoke -"fuckin'" what do you do?
Subtle innuends follow
There must be something inside he’s"fuckin'" hiding

We don’t follow"fuckin'" fashion
That would be a joke
You know we’re going to set them set them
So everyone can take note take note

When they saw you"fuckin'" kneeling
Crying words that you mean
Opening their eyeballs eyeballs
Pretending that you’re al green al green

No one’s gonna"fuckin'" tell me
What’s wrong or what’s right
Or tell me who to eat with sleep with
Or that I’ve won the big fight big fight

Look out or they’ll"fuckin'" tell you
You’re a superstar
Two weeks and you’re an all time legend
I think the games have gone much too far

If the words"fuckin'" unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note

Don’t drink don’t smoke -"fuckin'" what do you do?
Don’t drink... etc.




Adam Fucking Ant..........

Some bloke in a weird fucking outfit? Jwoody, a fucking pic doesn't explain much :p After some googling I've discovered that he's an actor and, apparently, a rockstar - he doesn't look familiar at all though.. must be the fucking pirate outfit :hmm:

Maybe I've heard the song before but I haven't seen someone do that dance - afterall, I was still lying in my cradle the year that fucker hit the streets.

Once again, google fucking video comes to the rescue.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...688&q=adam+ant

I've lived 39+ years without seeing that.

I wish I'd lived another 39+ without seeing it.

fuckin worst video ever.

fuck sakes jwoody...........you introduce me to "ocean colour scene"........and then you throw this fuckin' shit at me man...



like....what the fuck ??????

Ahhh, Adam fucking Ant! He was way fucking cooler than Billy fucking Idol.

For fuck's sake folks, give us a fucking break here.

I was just a fucking bairn at the time.




Now playing: Arctic Fucking Monkeys. :thumbsup:

Is that fucking better?

i will check them fucking out my brother from another mother.



:thumbsup:

fuckin' c'mon people...time to get your fuck on.

fuck on it is then...........

Ahahahha nice! *looks around at all the annoyed people* - got any more links to his fucking videos? :lol:

Fuck no, Nancy. M y reputation as the fucking tfp's very own good-taste-guru is already in fucking tatters.

Listen to this fucker instead:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...endid=41447861

(especially DJ Yoda's Annie Mac thing)

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

that's two fucking thumbs up.

http://www.djyoda.co.uk/

Come the fuck on, jwoody. Who's to say what's good, fucking taste and what's not?

My MAC fucks those links up...guess it'll have to wait til I get fucking home *fucking sigh*

You can stop the fucking music, scroll down the page a bit and watch a cool video.

It's DJ Fuckong Yoda scratching... D.V. fucking D.s!!!!!

Simply fucking amazing.

trust me on this one Nancy...you do NOT want to see video of Adam Ant fucking.