A little something for the Flyman... - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

paddyjoe · 11-22-2003, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by flyman
my relatives are already there.........in maggot form though.

you fuckin rule, bro

uncle phil · 11-24-2003, 01:20 PM

White Rabbit
Jefferson Airplane

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call
And call Alice, when she was just small

When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low

Go ask Alice, I think she'll know
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head

uncle phil · 11-25-2003, 01:15 PM

You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
Bloodhound Gang

One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless
Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young
Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink
Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink
M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up
Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

Here she comes, a funky fried cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty
Cause I'm Mr. McFeelie with a speedy delivery
You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me
But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be
Hey Lupus is she cute? Yea for a pygmie
Aw! What do you know? You're probably going home alone
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone
Plus beauty, it's only skin deep
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can
It's a menage a trois you and me and Heineken

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

Regrets I've had a few
First and foremost I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation we'll call you the Brand New Heavy
Your a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut
You're Buddha you're Shamu you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt
You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry
It was 3 A.M. and I wasn't gettin' squat
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot

I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian
Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin'
I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance
But how was i supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants
At that junction I came to realize
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size
Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament
That you were not a girl,
You were an experiment

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

You're pretty when I'm drunk

Fly · 11-26-2003, 04:46 AM

thanx phil.........

it amazes me all these tunes you know.

cheers

uncle phil · 11-26-2003, 02:23 PM

CALIFORNIA C's
Shel Silverstein

Perched on a purple plastic stool
At the Hollywood-Mexo-Eato,
Tryin' to talk my way into
A free beef/bean burrito,
When a shriveled old man in a brown straw hat,
He sits down next to me --
He says, "Kid, I see you're kinda short
On California C's.
Now, you're new in town, and your stock is down.
Advice is what you need,
And I been here since the Strip was a path
And the air was fit to breathe.
And you can beat the odds in Vegas, son,
And the law of gravity,
But you'll never beat L.A.
Without some California C's
Now, the very first C, it stands for Cash;
For reasons too obvious to mention,
And the next is that expensive Car
To get this town's attention.
The third C is a Canyon Crib
With picket fence and roses,
And the fourth C is some flake Cocaine
For all your new friends' noses.
Then Chains of gold from Cartier's
To hang around your Chest.
Then learn that Cunnilingus, son,
To ensure your true success.
And once you get them Gucci Clothes
And Credit Cards galore,
That Classy California Cooze
Will soon be at your door.
And then you need your teeth Capped
By our most expensive dentist
And a Chump to play you backgammon
And a Champ to teach you tennis.
'Cause it's the Cut of your hair
And the Cut of your jeans
And the Cut of your Cocaine, too,
That's gonna put you a Cut above all the slobs
And make a Celeb out of you.
Yeah, this town's a great big orange, son,
You can grab it hard and squeeze,
But you'll never get no juice
Without some California C's."
Then he orders six tacos and pays his tab,
And tips a C-note for the meal,
And he walks outside to this Custom-made
Chrome-Covered Cadillac Cuntmobile.
And a Chauffeur jumps out and opens the door
And just before it closes,
I spy five Candy-Coated Cuties inside
With starry eyes and runny noses.
Then off they drive in a Cannabis Cloud,
Leavin' me here in the grease,
With a Coffee, a Clap and a Cigarette,
My three California C's.

uncle phil · 11-27-2003, 02:14 PM

DRINKIN' and DRUGGIN' and WATCHIN' TV
Dr. Hook

If anyone met us, they'd surely agree
We're proper as any two people can be.
We're clean-cut, well-mannered,
Well-dressed and polite...
But, oh, if they'd see us at night
When we're drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV...
Eatin' cold pizza and drinkin' ice tea.
Just you and me and the devil makes three...
Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV.
So you bring the chemicals, I bring the wine.
I fiddle with yours and you diddle with mine.
Then drunken and drugged, we fall back on our backs
Naturally performing unnatural acts
Such as drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV,
Eatin' cold pizza and drinkin' ice tea.
Just you and me and the devil akes three,
Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV.

In the flickin' TV light we're goin' to hell...
Makin' love with the sound off to the P.T.L..
Jim Baker can see what you're doin' to me...
Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV.
So stop drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV,
Eatin' cold pizza and drinkin' ice tea...
Livin' your life degenerately,
Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV.

uncle phil · 11-28-2003, 01:25 PM

GET MY ROCKS OFF
Dr. Hook

Some men need some killer weed
and some men need cocaine.
Some men need some cactus juice
to purify their brain.
Some man need 2 women,
and some need alcohol.
Everybody needs a little something
but, Lord, I need it all...
To get my rocks off, get my rocks off,
get my rocks off the mountain...
and roll'em down the hill.
I may do you one time
and I may do you more
And I may turn you in to somethin'
you ain't ready for.
I might want your body
or I might want your bread
Or I might want your Momma
to come visit me instead...
To get my rocks off, get my rocks off,
get my rocks off the mountain...
and roll'em down the hill.
Sometimes I dream of chicks
to bring me everlasting joy.
Sometimes I dream of animals,
sometimes I dream of boys.
Sometimes I kill the living,
sometimes I raise the dead.
Sometimes I just say screw it all
and jump back into bed...
And get my rocks off...
To get my rocks off, get my rocks off,
get my rocks off the mountain...
and roll'em down the hill.

uncle phil · 12-01-2003, 01:59 PM

Don't Give A Dose To The One You Love The Most
Shel Silverstein

Don't give a dose to the one you love most.
Give her some marmalade...give her some toast.
You can give her the willies or give her the blues.
But the dose that you give her will get back to youse.
I once had a lady as sweet as a song.
She was my darlin', and she was my dear.
But she had a dose, and she passed it along.
Now she's gone, but the dose is still there.
So, don't give a dose to the one you love most.
Give her some marmalade...give her some toast.
You can give her a partiridge up in a pear tree,
But the dose that you give her might get back to me.
So if you've got an itchin'...if you've got a drip,
Don't sit there wishin' for it to go 'way.
If there's a thing on the tip of your thing or your lip,
Run down to the clinic today, and say...
"I won't give a dose to the one I love most.
I'll give her some marmalade...give her some toast."
Give her the willies or give her the blues,
But the dose that you give her will get back to you.

paddyjoe · 12-01-2003, 02:24 PM

Sooooo, if I understand uncle phil correctly, flyman has the clap!

Ouch dude...............................eh?

Fly · 12-02-2003, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by paddyjoe
Sooooo, if I understand uncle phil correctly, flyman has the clap!

Ouch dude...............................eh?

thanx for that man.

and phil............you can't be tellin' people about my genitals man.

uncle phil · 12-02-2003, 01:12 PM

***disclaimer***
to the best of my knowledge, fly doesn't have the clap...

Pour Me Another Tequila, Sheila
Bobby Bare

(Chorus)
Pour me another tequila, Sheila.
Take off that red satin dress.
'Cause I crossed the border,
And I beat the dealer for all of that gold in Juarez.
I feel like ol' Pancho Villa, Sheila,
And I've got the pesos to spend,
So pour me another tequila, Sheila.
And lay down and love me again.
No I can't tell you about it.
Don't mind the gun by my bed,
But I feel kind'a naked without it,
And it eases the fears in my head.
I never trusted in woman,
But Sheila I trust you tonight.
So pass me the salt and a lemon,
Bend down and blow out the light.
(Chorus)
Sheila I'm hearin' your heartbeat,
But I'm hearing footsteps outside.
The courtyard is crawlin' with them Federales
And Sheila, there's no place to hide,
but I don't know who could have tipped 'em,
nobody knew it but you,
but I never have trusted in woman,
Sheila, here's what I'm going to do.
(Chorus)
Yeah! Pour me another tequila,
I'm gonna put on your red satin Dress.
You put on my clothes, and you go face the dealer.
Sheila I wish you the best.
I never trusted in woman,
Sheila I trusted you tonight.
So pour me another tequila Sheila,
And I'll run for the border again.
Yeah! Pour me another tequila,
Sheila, as I ride for the border again.

uncle phil · 12-03-2003, 02:28 PM

QUAALUDES AGAIN
Shel Silverstein

She falls through the doorway,
Rolls down the hall.
She bounces off the sofa,
And walks into the wall.
It's easy to see that she buckles and bends.
She's doin' quaaludes again.
Quaaludes again.
Quaaludes again.
If you've got aurora,
You know for shorra
She's your friend.
She's doin' quaaludes again.
[guitar music]
She fumbles and stumbles
And falls down the stairs,
Makes love to the leg of the dining room chair.
She's ready for animals, women or men.
She's doin' quaaludes again.
Quaaludes again.
Again.
Again.
Quaaludes again.
If you've got a lemon, a dog and three women,
Then she's your friend.
She's doing quaaludes again.
Quaaludes again.
[Dialogue between man and woman with riff in the background:]
He: Baby, you've been doing quaaludes again. Well, then who?
She: No. Not me. I don't have any quaaludes.
He: You don't have 'em cuz you took em all already.
She: No.
He: You had six.
She: Nooo...
He: You had six yesterday, right? In your purse?
She: No...
He: How many you got now? Where'd they go?
She: No. I don't have ANY.
He: That's what I mean.
She: No...
He: Where'd they go? What'd you take?
She: I didn't take anything. I just had a small... a small headache.
He: So what did you take? What did you take for a headache?
She: No... Maybe an aspirin.
He: That's the biggest damned aspirin I've ever seen! You did... You keep... Don't keep pullin at me! Don't do that! Don't do that! C'mon... you're bumpin' into the furniture.
She: It hurts!
He: What?! I didn't mooove ANYTHING around!
She: [moaning]
He: You had FIVE quaaludes in your purse yesterday. You have none today!
She: I gave them away.
He: You gave away what? You gave EVERYTHING away!
She: I gave it to all my friends.
He: Yeah. How much time did you see your friends?
She: Wellll...
He: You were supposed to see them for five minutes?
She: Well... Don't you know how it is?
He: I DON'T know how it is.
She: Nooo...
He: I know you're doin 'ludes, and you said... you said that the next time you get them I should take them away and flush them down the toilet.
She: Noooo...
He: Didn't you say that?
She: NO....noooooo...
He: DON'T keep pullin' me to the damn bed! I don't want an old... I'm tellin you... You are turnin' me OFF!
[fading away]
He: Now let me tell you... Will you keep your eyes open! Get up!

Fly · 12-03-2003, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uncle phil
***disclaimer***
to the best of my knowledge, fly doesn't have the clap...

thanks for wrecktifying the pain of peeing fire with the disclaimer phil.

paddyjoe · 12-03-2003, 07:27 PM

disclaimers work almost as well as penicillin

splck · 12-04-2003, 01:32 PM

Paul Simon - Late In The Evening

The first thing I remember, I was lying in my bed
I couldn't've been no more than one or two
And I remember there's a radio, coming from the room next door
My mother laughed the way some ladies' do

Well it's late in the evening, and the music's seeping through

The next thing I remember, I am walking down a street
I'm feeling alright I'm with my boys and with my troops, yeah
Down along the avenue some guys are shootin' pool
And I heard the sound of acapella groups, yeah

Singin' late in the evening, and all the girls out on the stoops, yeah

Then I learned to play some lead guitar, I was underage in this funky bar
And I stepped outside to smoke myself a J
When I come back to the room, everybody just seemed to move
And I turned my amp up loud and I began to play

It was late in the evening, and I blew that room away

First thing I remember when you came into my life
I said I wanna get that girl, no matter what I do
Well I guess I've been in love before and once or twice have been on the floor
But I've never loved no-one the way that I love you

And it was late in the evening, and all the music's seeping through

uncle phil · 12-04-2003, 01:34 PM

I'm So Wasted
Adam Sandler

[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]
[Joe:] 'Hey pal! How ya doin'
[M2:] 'I'm so wasted, man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!'
[M2:] 'Thanks man.'
[Joe:] 'It's good party, huh'
[M2:] 'Oh, it's great man.'
[Joe:] 'Hey that's some good acid, huh'
[M2:] 'Oh, killer man.'
[Joe:] 'Hey, my pleasure.'
[M2:] 'I've never been higher.'
[Joe:] 'Oh ho, you must be freaking out.'
[M2:] 'Acid's great man.'
[Joe:] 'It's the best.'
[M2:] 'Everytime I do acid man, I'm so high.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now.'
[M2:] 'This is the best acid, man.'
[Joe:] 'What are you seein, man'
[M2:] 'Oh, I, that cloud up there, man.'
[Joe:] 'Whoa'
[M2:] 'It's got a vein in it.'
[Joe:] 'Oh-Holy Cow! Really!'
[M2:] 'And it's bleeding on me, man.'
[Joe:] 'It's bleeding on ya Well watch out!'
[M2:] 'Look at my hand, man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah'
[M2:] 'It-It's moving, but it's not moving.'
[Joe:] 'It's not'
[M2:] 'It's still there, but it looks like it's moving.'
[Joe:] 'Hey, yeah to you it is.'
[M2:] 'I'm so high.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, you must be flipping out.'
[M2:] 'I'm flipping out off it.'
[Joe:] 'Hallucinations, man.'
[M2:] 'Acid..right.'
[Joe:] 'Hey, I got some news fer ya.'
[M2:] 'I'm seeing stuff, man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, yer seeing stuff.'
[M2:] 'RIght.'
[Joe:] 'Well, that's what happens when you take acid, but you know what'
[M2:] 'What man'
[Joe:] 'Uhhh, that really wasn't acid.
That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook.'
[Silence]

[M2:] 'Wha It's probly this weed I'm smokin', man.'
[Joe:] 'Oh, that weed.'
[M2:] 'That Thai bud, man.'
[Joe:] 'Whoa.'
[M2: Laughing] 'Everything's hilarious.'
[Joe: Laughing] 'That's funny man. Look at that guy.'
[M2: Laughing] 'That's funny man.'
[Joe: Laughing] 'Look at that guy's hat man.'
[M2: Laughing] 'Everything's funny to me, man.'
[Joe:] 'Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke A few joints, man'
[M2:] 'I had about four.'
[Joe:] 'Whoa, that's a lot of bones to be smokin', man.'
[M2:] 'The whole thing's man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, you sucked 'em down yerself.'
[M2:] 'Ain't that hilarious!'
[Joe:] 'You didn't wanna share, didja'
[M2:] 'It was great stuff, man.'
[Joe:] 'Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too.'
[M2:] 'Hey what man'
[Joe:] 'That's the stuff I sold you, right
[M2:] 'Yeah, right.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah'
[M2:] 'It's funny, man.'
[Joe:] 'Well, well, uh..'
[M2:] 'I'm wasted off it, man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, well that's good. You smoked it, right'
[M2:] 'Right.'
[Joe:] 'Well that really wans't weed.'
[Pause]
[Joe:] 'No it wasn't, it was pencil shavings in a bag.'
[Silence]

[Joe:] 'Yeah.'
[M2:] 'Well, it's probably this beer.
This beer I'm drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something.
Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man.'
[Joe:] 'Whoa, oh really!'
[M2:] 'I'm just..wasted off 'em.'
[Joe:] 'That's a lot of beer for a man to drink.'
[M2:] 'Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man.'
[Joe:] 'You didn't dump 'em out in the woods, didja'
[M2:] 'No..no..no.. I drank all of them.'
[Joe:] 'Right, yeah. I saw you..that's good. Hey didja eat today'
[M2:]'No, I'm on an empty stomach.'
[Joe:] 'Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you.'
[M2:] '..And that's why I'm so wasted off it man, it's like I'm seeing things, man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, you can hardly stand, man.'
[M2:] 'You should take my car keys, cuz I can't drive, man.'
[Joe:] 'Right, right.'
[M2:] 'I can barely walk.'
[Joe:] 'Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they're half shut.'
[M2:] 'There's two of you, man. I can't see anymore, man, I'm blind!'
[Joe:] 'Right.. I got the beers, huh I'm the man, right'
[M2:] 'Yeah, you are the man.'
[Joe:] 'Say it. Say I'm the man.'
[M2:] 'Yer da man!!'
[Joe:] 'Okay, well that beer..'
[M2:] 'Yeah'
[Joe:] 'There was no alcohol in that beer.'
[Pause]
[Joe:] 'That was non-alcoholic.
So..uhh..again, I'm gonna have to bust you on this one.
You're lying.'
[Silence]

[M2: Mumbling] 'I'll be right back.'
[Joe:] 'Ok, buddy, you go sober up.'
[Walking different directions, gun goes off]
[Joe:] 'Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!'
[Runs over]
[Joe:] 'Oh my God! You killed yerself, buddy.'
[M2:] 'Yeah, I'm dead, man.'
[Joe:] 'Oh my, oh yer dead.'
[M2:] 'Yeah, I'm dead, man.'
[Joe:] 'That is awefull.'
[M2:] 'There's a big white light and everything, man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah! Well you showed us all, man.'
[M2:] 'Oh man, I'm so peaceful here man.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, you see anything weird, or..'
[M2:] 'My relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather's there and..'
[Joe:] 'Ooooh, I remember him, he's a good guy.'
[M2:] 'He's still wearing the same clothes, and..'
[Joe:] 'Hey, say hello fer me, huh'
[M2:] 'Hey man, Joe says hi, man.'
[Joe: Chuckling] 'Right.'
[M2:] 'It's yeah..My uncle's here and...'
[Joe:] 'Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This is so funny.'
[M2:] 'Yeah What, man'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven.
The gun, you killed yerself with, that's the one I sold you, right'
[M2:] 'Yeah.'
[Joe:] 'Yeah, well that was a cap gun.
So, there's no way you could have killed yourself.'
[Pause]
[Joe:] 'Yeah, that's right, ok.. I'm going back to the party. Ok, take care.'
[Walks back]

[M2: Whimpering and crying] 'I'm moving to a different town man.'

[Four weeks later]

[Pouring drink]
[M2:] 'Oh this beer is great, man.
This tequila is really strong, man.
It's got a worm, and everything in it, man.'
[Buffoon:] 'Fuckin' shit!'
[M2:] 'All being in the sun, you're even more wasted.
Fuckin' shit is right, man!
I am totally wasted now, man.
I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade.'
[Buffoon:] 'I know a guy who can suck his own dick.'
[M2:] 'Yeah, I know a guy who can do that too.
He's the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two cases of Southern Comfort, man.
We were so wasted off it.
I'm serious man.'

uncle phil · 12-05-2003, 03:48 PM

That Smell
Lynard Skynard

Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
One more drink fool, will drown you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Now they call you Prince Charming
Can't speak a word when you're full of 'ludes
Say you'll be all right come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Hey, you're a fool you
Stick them needles in your arm
I know I been there before

One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

uncle phil · 12-08-2003, 01:43 PM

DRINKIN' FROM THE BOTTLE
Bobby Bare

Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart,
Cryin’ blues in motel rooms,
Lord, the hard times weren’t that hard.
And some fell in, and some fell out and some just fell apart,

Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.
Harlan sing us "Heartaches By the Number", one more time.
Johnny tell us how that woman helped you walk the line.
Willie sing us "Hello Walls", cuz we all know our parts.

(hello – hello)

Been drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.
That blonde there, sittin’ on the floor,
My sad song made her cry,
I think she caught my zipper,
‘Bout the time I caught her eye.
For she can take my body home
But who’s gonna drive the car?
We been drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.

Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.
Cryin’ blues in motel rooms,
Lord, the hard times weren’t that hard.
Some fell in, and some fell out and some just fell apart.

Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.
Now I sip my Chivas, from a fancy crystal glass,
A young, ambitious, eight-piece hot band,
A-pushin’ at my ass.
Well, I was singin’ for the money,
I think back to the start,
When we were drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.

So let’s start drinkin’ from the bottle, singin’ from the heart,
Cryin’ blues in motel rooms,
Lord, the hard times weren’t that hard.
Some fell in, and some fell out and some just fell apart.
Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.
Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart.

uncle phil · 12-09-2003, 02:36 PM

Lickin' Toads Again
Fred Zeppelin

Lickin' toads again
Tastin' reptiles, lord knows where they've been
Havin' wild hallucinations with my friends
And we can't wait to be lickin' toads again

Frenchin' frog rear-ends
It's a practice that I can't defend
They're not as potent, and it takes 'bout nine or ten
Oh, I can't believe just where my lips have been

Seems we just can't win
Like a bus of Deadheads swervin' down the highway
Toads we never lend
We heard that AIDS is spread by both the gay way
And from toad play

Hope it's an honest sin
If they hop we stick in safety pins
Or a bug, lick any critter from end to end
We're just lookin' for a brand-new mind to bend

'Cause they're our best friends
We order frog legs when we're out to dinner
Every now and then
We have to drink a Compound-W chaser
The wart eraser

Every bye and bye
I get the sudden urge to swallow flies
A tongue so long that I can zap my own rear end
Oh, I can't wait to be lickin' toads again
I can't wait to be lickin' toads again
Oh, I can't wait to be lickin' toads again

uncle phil · 12-10-2003, 01:39 PM

The Last Shot
Lou Reed

The last shot should have killed me
Pour another drink
Let's drink to the last shot
And the blood on the dishes in the sink
Blood inside the coffee cup
Blood on the table top

But when you quit, you quit
But you always wish
That you knew it was
Your last shot
When you quit, you quit
But you always wish
That you knew it was
Your last shot

I shot blood at the fly on the wall
My heart almost stopped hardly there at all
I broke the mirror with my fall
With my fall, fall, fall; fall, fall, fall
Gimme a double, give yourself one too
Gimme a short beer, and one for you, too
And a toast to everything that doesn't move
That doesn't move

But when you quit, you quit
But you always wish
That you knew it was
Your last shot
When you quit, you quit
But you always wish
That you knew it was
Your last shot

Whiskey, Burbon, Vodka, Scotch
I don't care what it is you got
I just wanna know that it's my last shot
My last shot
I remember when I quit feeling good
See, this here's where I chipped my tooth
Shot a vein in my neck and I coughed up a Quaalude
On my last shot
My last shot

Here's a toast to all that's good and
Here's a toast to hate
An' here's a toast to toasting and I'm not boasting
When I say I'm getting straight
When I say I'm getting straight

'Cause when you quit, you quit
But you always wish
That you knew it was
Your last shot
When you quit, you quit
But you always wish
That you knew it was
Your last shot

Fly · 12-10-2003, 01:44 PM

fuck me phil.........

lickin' toads man.......i know the are an hallucinogen but.......i'll stick to the doobies.

*still laughing ass of about toads*

uncle phil · 12-11-2003, 02:15 PM

SLOW RIDE
Foghat

Woo!
Slowride, take it easy
REPEAT THREE TIMES

I'm in the mood
The rhythm is right
Move to the music
We can roll all night

Oooh Slowride
Oooh
Slowride, take it easy
REPEAT

Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

Woo!

I'm in the mood
The rhythm is right
Move to the music
We can roll all night

Oooh

Slowride, take it easy
REPEAT

Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time

Slowride, easy, slowride, sleazy
REPEAT

Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time
Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine

Slowride, take it easy
REPEAT

Slow down, go down, slow down, go down

Come on baby
Take a slowride on me
Come on baby
Take a slowride

Feels so good, Feels good, Come on baby
Feels good, Feel allright

You know the rhythm is right
We gotta rock all night
REPEAT TWO TIMES

Whoa, rock all night

Woo! Woo!

Your flamin' heart
REPEAT THREE TIMES

Woo! Woo! Woo!

Slowride

uncle phil · 12-12-2003, 03:43 PM

Roll, roll, roll your joint;
twist it at the end,
take a puff, that's enough
and pass it to a friend...

uncle phil · 12-16-2003, 02:40 PM

Sam Stone
John Prine

Sam Stone came home,
To his wife and family
After serving in the conflict overseas
And the time that he served,
Had shattered all his nerves,
And left a little shrapnel in his knee But the morphine eased the pain,

And the grass grew round his brain,
And gave him all the confidence he lacked,
With a Purple Heart and a monkey on his back

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose
Little pictures have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios

Sam Stone's welcome home
Didn't last too long
He went to work when he'd spent his last dime
And Sammy took to stealing
When he got that empty feeling
For a hundred dollar habit without overtime

And the gold rolled through his veins
Like a thousand railroad trains,
And eased his mind in the hours that he chose,
While the kids ran around wearin' other peoples' clothes

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose
Little pictures have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios

Sam Stone was alone
When he popped his last balloon,
Climbing walls while sitting in a chair
Well, he played his last request,
While the room smelled just like death,
With an overdose hovering in the air

But life had lost it's fun,
There was nothing to be done,
But trade his house that he bought on the G.I. Bill,
For a flag-draped casket on a local hero's hill

There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose
Little pictures have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios

uncle phil · 12-17-2003, 01:49 PM

Over the Hill
Ten Years After

Return to Top
I got water on the brain
My mind is like a drain
Here I go again
Over the hill

My eyes don't see too clear
I'm not sure what I hear
Seems I'm goin' clear
Over the hill

Like a cripple and his crutch
I have leaned a bit too much
Seems as I shall never touch
Again

Now it seems it's plain to see
That the stuff is killing me
Got to quit so I'll be free
Again

I've got too much to lose
No one can fill my shoes
Think I'll leave the blues
Over the hill

Fly · 12-18-2003, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by uncle phil
Roll, roll, roll your joint;
twist it at the end,
take a puff, that's enough
and pass it to a friend...

we used to say it like.......

roll,roll,roll a joint and pass it down the line
take a toke,inhale the smoke
and blow your fucking mind.

thanx uncle mystro

Sticky · 12-18-2003, 01:25 PM

Afroman - Because I Got High

I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
I am taking it next semester and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

I wasnt gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
Now I am a paraplegic - because I got high [repeat 3X]

I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why
- because I got high [repeat 3X]

I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why
- cause I'm high [repeat 3X]

uncle phil · 12-18-2003, 01:50 PM

The Pusher
Steppenwolf

You know I've smoked a lot of grass
O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills
But I never touched nothin'
That my spirit could kill
You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round
With tombstones in their eyes
But the pusher don't care
Ah, if you live or if you die

God damn, The Pusher
God damn, I say The Pusher
I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

You know the dealer, the dealer is a man
With the love grass in his hand
Oh but the pusher is a monster
Good God, he's not a natural man
The dealer for a nickel
Lord, will sell you lots of sweet dreams
Ah, but the pusher ruin your body
Lord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream

God damn, The Pusher
God damn, God damn the Pusher
I said God damn, God, God damn The Pusher man

Well, now if I were the president of this land
You know, I'd declare total war on The Pusher man
I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run
Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun

God damn The Pusher
God damn The Pusher
I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

uncle phil · 12-19-2003, 02:15 PM

Red Guitar
Loudon Wainright III

Used to have a red guitar
'Till I smashed it one drunk night
Smashed in the classic form
As Peter Townshend might
Threw it in the fireplace
I left it there a while
Kate she started cryin when
She saw my sorry smile

Red guitar was made of wood
Could not take the heat
Red guitar it caught on fire
And the damage was complete
It burned until all that was left
Was six pegs and six strings
Kate she said, "You are a fool
You've done a foolish thing"

Placed the remains in the case
And I put the case away
Went to New York City
For a new guitar the next day
I bought myself a blonde guitar
I had it for three days
Some junkie stole my blonde guitar
God works in wonderous ways

splck · 12-19-2003, 07:32 PM

The Fly will be looking for Mary st when he sees this.

paddyjoe · 12-19-2003, 07:44 PM

Are you sure that's not flyman's house? Fuckin roofers have to do something in the winter.

Fly · 12-19-2003, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by paddyjoe
Are you sure that's not flyman's house? Fuckin roofers have to do something in the winter.

shhhh..........don't tell anyone that's where i live man.

they'll all be over for a deal.................eh

hey splck...............quit stalkin' me dude.

Sticky · 12-22-2003, 06:51 AM

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - MARY JANE'S LAST DANCE

She grew up in an Indiana town
Had a good lookin' momma who never was around
But she grew up tall and she grew up right
With them Indiana boys on an Indiana night

Well she moved down here at the age of 18
She blew the boys away, it was more than they'd se en
I was introduced and we both started groovin'
She said, "I dig you baby but I got to keep movin'"
...on, keep movin' on

Last dance with Mary Jane
One more time to kill the pain
I feel summer creepin' in and I'm
Tired of this town again

Well I don't know what I've been told
You never slow down, you never grow old
I'm tired of screwing up, I'm tired of goin' down
I'm tire of myself, I'm tired of this town
Oh my my, oh hell yes
Honey put on that party dress
Buy me a drink, sing me a song,
Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long

Last dance with Mary Jane
One more time to kill the pain
I feel summer creepin' in and I'm
Tired of this town again

T here's pidgeons down in Market Square
She's standin' in her underwear
Lookin' down from a hotel room
Nightfall will be comin' soon
Oh my my, oh hell yes
You've got to put on that party dress
It was too cold to cry when I woke up al one
I hit the last number, I walked to the road

Last dance with Mary Jane
One more time to kill the pain
I feel summer creepin' in and I'm
Tired of this town again

uncle phil · 12-22-2003, 02:28 PM

Illegal Smile
by John Prine

When I woke up this morning
Things were looking bad
Seemed like total silence
Was the only friend I had

Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down
And won
And it was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having
No fun

Ahhh, but fortunately
I have the key
To escape reality

And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
It don't cost very much
But it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man
I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just trying to have me
Some fun

Last time I checked my bankroll
It was gettin thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom
Is the only place I've been

I chased a rainbow down a one-way street
Dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance
Salesmen

Ahhh, but fortunately
I have the key
To escape reality

And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
It don't cost very much
But it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man
I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just trying to have me
Some fun

Well I sat down in my closet
With all my overalls
Trying to get away from
All the ears inside my walls

Dreamed the police heard everything I though
What then
Well I went to court and the judge's name was
Hoffman*

Ahhh, but fortunately
I have the key
To escape reality

And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
It don't cost very much
But it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man
I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just trying to have me
Some fun
Well done
Hot dog bun
My sister's a nun

* Julius Hoffman notorious judge of the "Chicago Seven" or "Chicago Eight" so-called conspirators accused of rioting during the 1968 Democratic convention.

Fly · 12-22-2003, 07:48 PM

cuz of you my man phil............i've been gettin' into john prine lately.

he's got some great tunes out there.

many thanx for turnin' me onto him.

silent_jay · 12-22-2003, 09:39 PM

hey flyman its me again just had a "smoke" and was listening to this song thought you might like it peace.

Sublime- Smoke Two Joints

LYRICS (she was living in a single room with three other individuals.
One of them was a male and the other two, well, the other two were females.
God only know what they were up to in there.
And furthermore susan, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them
Habitually smoke marijuana cigarettes... reefers)

I smoke two joints in the morning.
I smoke two joints at night.
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints,
And then I smoke two more

Smoked cigarettes ’til the day she died
Toke a big spliff of some good sensimillia
Smoked cigarettes ’til the day she died
Toke a big spliff of some good sensamill...
Easy-e were ya ever caught slippin’? hell no!

Daddy he once told me son you be hard workin’ man
And momma she once told me son you do the best you can
But, then one day I met a man who came to me and said
Hard work good, and hard work fine but first take care of head

(guitar solo)

Whoa, rock me tonight,
Whoa-oh, jah sake,
Whoa-ohh

uncle phil · 12-23-2003, 02:02 PM

Heaven and Mud
Loudon Wainright III

We were up in heaven
But now we're in the mud
We fell off the wagon
You should have heard the thud
We were so superior
But that was just a phase
We were high on life
For fourteen boring days

Bartenders got insulted
When we would insist
On ginger ale, Perrier
Or soda with a twist
On the airplane we were good guys
We sat where folks don't smoke
At the party they were all surprised
When we turned down a toke

We kicked nicotine and caffeine
And alcohol and cannibis
We copped an ounce of clarity and
We scored a pound of bliss
But I kept having nightmares
And you kept gaining weight
We gave in to our withdrawal pains
And finally took the bait

In no time we were hooked again
Suckers that we are
Life of every party and
The fly in every bar
Two weeks on the wagon
'Till we toppled off
I got back my headaches
And you got back your cough

We were up in heaven
But now we're in the mud
We fell off the wagon
You should have heard the thud
We were so superior
But that was just a phase
We were high on life
For fourteen boring days
We were high on life
For fourteen boring days

uncle phil · 12-24-2003, 01:36 PM

New Amphetamine Shriek
by The Fugs

I don't have a bedtime
I don't need to cum
For I have become
An amphetamine bum
If you don't like sleeping
And don't want to screw
Then you should take lots
Of amphetamine too

These stimulant games
Can make life so sweet
I can walk down the street
Without moving my feet
My brain works so fleet
I can outwit the heat
And I never feel beat
And I don't need to eat

I'm always excited
I just love to walk
My jaws keep on moving
And turning out talk
I love to draw pictures
In layers and layers
And say the words backwards
When I say my prayers

There's nine bouncing people
In one little room
The vectors are threading
Eternity's loom
It's not bad for brain cells
The doctors proclaim
It's almost as safe as
That good old cocaine

uncle phil · 12-25-2003, 03:21 PM

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You
Led Zeppelin

Babe, baby, baby, I'm Gonna Leave You.
I said baby, you know I'm gonna leave you.
I'll leave you when the summertime,
Leave you when the summer comes a-rollin'
Leave you when the summer comes along.

Baby, baby, I don't wanna leave you,
I ain't jokin' woman, I got to ramble.
Oh, yeah, baby, baby, I believin',
We really got to ramble.
I can hear it callin' me the way it used to do,
I can hear it callin' me back home!

Babe...I'm gonna leave you
Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you
Oh I can hear it callin 'me
I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do

I know I never never never gonna leave your babe
But I got to go away from this place,
I've got to quit you, yeah
Baby, ooh don't you hear it callin' me
Woman, woman, I know, I know
It feels good to have you back again
And I know that one day baby, it's really gonna grow, yes it is.
We gonna go walkin' through the park every day.
Come what may, every day

It was really, really good.
You made me happy every single day.
But now... I've got to go away!

Baby, baby, baby, baby
That's when it's callin' me
I said that's when it's callin' me back home...

uncle phil · 12-26-2003, 01:18 PM

Ain't Hurtin' Nobody
John Prine

I'm a walkin' down the street like Lucky Larue
Got my hand in my pocket I'm thinkin' 'bout you
I ain't hurtin' nobody
I ain't hurtin' no one

There's three hundred men in the state of Tennessee
They're waiting to die, they won't never be free
I ain't hurtin' nobody
I ain't hurtin' no one

Six million seven hundred thousand and thirty-three lights on
You think someone could take the time to sit down
And listen to the words of my song

At the beach in Indiana I was nine years old
Heard Little Richard singing "Tutti Frutti"
From the top of a telephone pole
I wasn't hurtin' nobody
I wasn't hurtin' no one

There's roosters laying chickens and chickens layin' eggs
Farm machinery eating people's arms and legs
I wasn't hurtin' nobody
I wasn't hurtin' no one

Perfectly crafted popular hit songs never use the wrong rhyme
You'd think that waitress could get my order
Right the first time

She's sitting on the back steps just shucking that corn
That gal's been grinning since the day she was born
She ain't hurtin' nobody
She ain't hurtin' no one

I used to live in Chicago where the cold wind blows
I delivered more junk mail than the junkyard would hold
I wasn't hurtin' nobody
I wasn't hurtin' no one

You can fool some of the people part of the time
In a rock and roll song
Fifty million Elvis Presley fans
Can't be all wrong

11-24-2003, 01:20 PM	#42 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	White Rabbit Jefferson Airplane One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call And call Alice, when she was just small When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low Go ask Alice, I think she'll know When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead And the white knight is talking backwards And the red queen's off with her head Remember what the dormouse said Feed your head, feed your head __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-25-2003, 01:15 PM	#43 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	You're Pretty When I'm Drunk Bloodhound Gang One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin' Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus And Daddy's gonna get some probably underage and dumb And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale After that I get silly like Soupy Sales Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk Here she comes, a funky fried cutie Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty Cause I'm Mr. McFeelie with a speedy delivery You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be Hey Lupus is she cute? Yea for a pygmie Aw! What do you know? You're probably going home alone And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone Plus beauty, it's only skin deep It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can It's a menage a trois you and me and Heineken Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk Regrets I've had a few First and foremost I'd like to mention you For the sake of conversation we'll call you the Brand New Heavy Your a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut You're Buddha you're Shamu you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry It was 3 A.M. and I wasn't gettin' squat So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin' I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance But how was i supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants At that junction I came to realize That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament That you were not a girl, You were an experiment Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk You're pretty when I'm drunk __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-26-2003, 04:46 AM	#44 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	thanx phil......... it amazes me all these tunes you know. cheers __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

11-26-2003, 02:23 PM	#45 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	CALIFORNIA C's Shel Silverstein Perched on a purple plastic stool At the Hollywood-Mexo-Eato, Tryin' to talk my way into A free beef/bean burrito, When a shriveled old man in a brown straw hat, He sits down next to me -- He says, "Kid, I see you're kinda short On California C's. Now, you're new in town, and your stock is down. Advice is what you need, And I been here since the Strip was a path And the air was fit to breathe. And you can beat the odds in Vegas, son, And the law of gravity, But you'll never beat L.A. Without some California C's Now, the very first C, it stands for Cash; For reasons too obvious to mention, And the next is that expensive Car To get this town's attention. The third C is a Canyon Crib With picket fence and roses, And the fourth C is some flake Cocaine For all your new friends' noses. Then Chains of gold from Cartier's To hang around your Chest. Then learn that Cunnilingus, son, To ensure your true success. And once you get them Gucci Clothes And Credit Cards galore, That Classy California Cooze Will soon be at your door. And then you need your teeth Capped By our most expensive dentist And a Chump to play you backgammon And a Champ to teach you tennis. 'Cause it's the Cut of your hair And the Cut of your jeans And the Cut of your Cocaine, too, That's gonna put you a Cut above all the slobs And make a Celeb out of you. Yeah, this town's a great big orange, son, You can grab it hard and squeeze, But you'll never get no juice Without some California C's." Then he orders six tacos and pays his tab, And tips a C-note for the meal, And he walks outside to this Custom-made Chrome-Covered Cadillac Cuntmobile. And a Chauffeur jumps out and opens the door And just before it closes, I spy five Candy-Coated Cuties inside With starry eyes and runny noses. Then off they drive in a Cannabis Cloud, Leavin' me here in the grease, With a Coffee, a Clap and a Cigarette, My three California C's. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-27-2003, 02:14 PM	#46 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	DRINKIN' and DRUGGIN' and WATCHIN' TV Dr. Hook If anyone met us, they'd surely agree We're proper as any two people can be. We're clean-cut, well-mannered, Well-dressed and polite... But, oh, if they'd see us at night When we're drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV... Eatin' cold pizza and drinkin' ice tea. Just you and me and the devil makes three... Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV. So you bring the chemicals, I bring the wine. I fiddle with yours and you diddle with mine. Then drunken and drugged, we fall back on our backs Naturally performing unnatural acts Such as drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV, Eatin' cold pizza and drinkin' ice tea. Just you and me and the devil akes three, Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV. In the flickin' TV light we're goin' to hell... Makin' love with the sound off to the P.T.L.. Jim Baker can see what you're doin' to me... Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV. So stop drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV, Eatin' cold pizza and drinkin' ice tea... Livin' your life degenerately, Drinkin' and druggin' and watchin' TV. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-28-2003, 01:25 PM	#47 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	GET MY ROCKS OFF Dr. Hook Some men need some killer weed and some men need cocaine. Some men need some cactus juice to purify their brain. Some man need 2 women, and some need alcohol. Everybody needs a little something but, Lord, I need it all... To get my rocks off, get my rocks off, get my rocks off the mountain... and roll'em down the hill. I may do you one time and I may do you more And I may turn you in to somethin' you ain't ready for. I might want your body or I might want your bread Or I might want your Momma to come visit me instead... To get my rocks off, get my rocks off, get my rocks off the mountain... and roll'em down the hill. Sometimes I dream of chicks to bring me everlasting joy. Sometimes I dream of animals, sometimes I dream of boys. Sometimes I kill the living, sometimes I raise the dead. Sometimes I just say screw it all and jump back into bed... And get my rocks off... To get my rocks off, get my rocks off, get my rocks off the mountain... and roll'em down the hill. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-01-2003, 01:59 PM	#48 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Don't Give A Dose To The One You Love The Most Shel Silverstein Don't give a dose to the one you love most. Give her some marmalade...give her some toast. You can give her the willies or give her the blues. But the dose that you give her will get back to youse. I once had a lady as sweet as a song. She was my darlin', and she was my dear. But she had a dose, and she passed it along. Now she's gone, but the dose is still there. So, don't give a dose to the one you love most. Give her some marmalade...give her some toast. You can give her a partiridge up in a pear tree, But the dose that you give her might get back to me. So if you've got an itchin'...if you've got a drip, Don't sit there wishin' for it to go 'way. If there's a thing on the tip of your thing or your lip, Run down to the clinic today, and say... "I won't give a dose to the one I love most. I'll give her some marmalade...give her some toast." Give her the willies or give her the blues, But the dose that you give her will get back to you. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-01-2003, 02:24 PM	#49 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	Sooooo, if I understand uncle phil correctly, flyman has the clap! Ouch dude...............................eh?

12-02-2003, 01:12 PM	#51 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	*disclaimer* to the best of my knowledge, fly doesn't have the clap... Pour Me Another Tequila, Sheila Bobby Bare (Chorus) Pour me another tequila, Sheila. Take off that red satin dress. 'Cause I crossed the border, And I beat the dealer for all of that gold in Juarez. I feel like ol' Pancho Villa, Sheila, And I've got the pesos to spend, So pour me another tequila, Sheila. And lay down and love me again. No I can't tell you about it. Don't mind the gun by my bed, But I feel kind'a naked without it, And it eases the fears in my head. I never trusted in woman, But Sheila I trust you tonight. So pass me the salt and a lemon, Bend down and blow out the light. (Chorus) Sheila I'm hearin' your heartbeat, But I'm hearing footsteps outside. The courtyard is crawlin' with them Federales And Sheila, there's no place to hide, but I don't know who could have tipped 'em, nobody knew it but you, but I never have trusted in woman, Sheila, here's what I'm going to do. (Chorus) Yeah! Pour me another tequila, I'm gonna put on your red satin Dress. You put on my clothes, and you go face the dealer. Sheila I wish you the best. I never trusted in woman, Sheila I trusted you tonight. So pour me another tequila Sheila, And I'll run for the border again. Yeah! Pour me another tequila, Sheila, as I ride for the border again. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-03-2003, 02:28 PM	#52 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	QUAALUDES AGAIN Shel Silverstein She falls through the doorway, Rolls down the hall. She bounces off the sofa, And walks into the wall. It's easy to see that she buckles and bends. She's doin' quaaludes again. Quaaludes again. Quaaludes again. If you've got aurora, You know for shorra She's your friend. She's doin' quaaludes again. [guitar music] She fumbles and stumbles And falls down the stairs, Makes love to the leg of the dining room chair. She's ready for animals, women or men. She's doin' quaaludes again. Quaaludes again. Again. Again. Quaaludes again. If you've got a lemon, a dog and three women, Then she's your friend. She's doing quaaludes again. Quaaludes again. [Dialogue between man and woman with riff in the background:] He: Baby, you've been doing quaaludes again. Well, then who? She: No. Not me. I don't have any quaaludes. He: You don't have 'em cuz you took em all already. She: No. He: You had six. She: Nooo... He: You had six yesterday, right? In your purse? She: No... He: How many you got now? Where'd they go? She: No. I don't have ANY. He: That's what I mean. She: No... He: Where'd they go? What'd you take? She: I didn't take anything. I just had a small... a small headache. He: So what did you take? What did you take for a headache? She: No... Maybe an aspirin. He: That's the biggest damned aspirin I've ever seen! You did... You keep... Don't keep pullin at me! Don't do that! Don't do that! C'mon... you're bumpin' into the furniture. She: It hurts! He: What?! I didn't mooove ANYTHING around! She: [moaning] He: You had FIVE quaaludes in your purse yesterday. You have none today! She: I gave them away. He: You gave away what? You gave EVERYTHING away! She: I gave it to all my friends. He: Yeah. How much time did you see your friends? She: Wellll... He: You were supposed to see them for five minutes? She: Well... Don't you know how it is? He: I DON'T know how it is. She: Nooo... He: I know you're doin 'ludes, and you said... you said that the next time you get them I should take them away and flush them down the toilet. She: Noooo... He: Didn't you say that? She: NO....noooooo... He: DON'T keep pullin' me to the damn bed! I don't want an old... I'm tellin you... You are turnin' me OFF! [fading away] He: Now let me tell you... Will you keep your eyes open! Get up! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-03-2003, 07:27 PM	#54 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	disclaimers work almost as well as penicillin

12-04-2003, 01:32 PM	#55 (permalink)
splck it's jam Location: Lowerainland BC	Paul Simon - Late In The Evening The first thing I remember, I was lying in my bed I couldn't've been no more than one or two And I remember there's a radio, coming from the room next door My mother laughed the way some ladies' do Well it's late in the evening, and the music's seeping through The next thing I remember, I am walking down a street I'm feeling alright I'm with my boys and with my troops, yeah Down along the avenue some guys are shootin' pool And I heard the sound of acapella groups, yeah Singin' late in the evening, and all the girls out on the stoops, yeah Then I learned to play some lead guitar, I was underage in this funky bar And I stepped outside to smoke myself a J When I come back to the room, everybody just seemed to move And I turned my amp up loud and I began to play It was late in the evening, and I blew that room away First thing I remember when you came into my life I said I wanna get that girl, no matter what I do Well I guess I've been in love before and once or twice have been on the floor But I've never loved no-one the way that I love you And it was late in the evening, and all the music's seeping through __________________ nice line eh?

12-04-2003, 01:34 PM	#56 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	I'm So Wasted Adam Sandler [Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass] [Joe:] 'Hey pal! How ya doin' [M2:] 'I'm so wasted, man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!' [M2:] 'Thanks man.' [Joe:] 'It's good party, huh' [M2:] 'Oh, it's great man.' [Joe:] 'Hey that's some good acid, huh' [M2:] 'Oh, killer man.' [Joe:] 'Hey, my pleasure.' [M2:] 'I've never been higher.' [Joe:] 'Oh ho, you must be freaking out.' [M2:] 'Acid's great man.' [Joe:] 'It's the best.' [M2:] 'Everytime I do acid man, I'm so high.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now.' [M2:] 'This is the best acid, man.' [Joe:] 'What are you seein, man' [M2:] 'Oh, I, that cloud up there, man.' [Joe:] 'Whoa' [M2:] 'It's got a vein in it.' [Joe:] 'Oh-Holy Cow! Really!' [M2:] 'And it's bleeding on me, man.' [Joe:] 'It's bleeding on ya Well watch out!' [M2:] 'Look at my hand, man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah' [M2:] 'It-It's moving, but it's not moving.' [Joe:] 'It's not' [M2:] 'It's still there, but it looks like it's moving.' [Joe:] 'Hey, yeah to you it is.' [M2:] 'I'm so high.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, you must be flipping out.' [M2:] 'I'm flipping out off it.' [Joe:] 'Hallucinations, man.' [M2:] 'Acid..right.' [Joe:] 'Hey, I got some news fer ya.' [M2:] 'I'm seeing stuff, man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, yer seeing stuff.' [M2:] 'RIght.' [Joe:] 'Well, that's what happens when you take acid, but you know what' [M2:] 'What man' [Joe:] 'Uhhh, that really wasn't acid. That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook.' [Silence] [M2:] 'Wha It's probly this weed I'm smokin', man.' [Joe:] 'Oh, that weed.' [M2:] 'That Thai bud, man.' [Joe:] 'Whoa.' [M2: Laughing] 'Everything's hilarious.' [Joe: Laughing] 'That's funny man. Look at that guy.' [M2: Laughing] 'That's funny man.' [Joe: Laughing] 'Look at that guy's hat man.' [M2: Laughing] 'Everything's funny to me, man.' [Joe:] 'Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke A few joints, man' [M2:] 'I had about four.' [Joe:] 'Whoa, that's a lot of bones to be smokin', man.' [M2:] 'The whole thing's man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, you sucked 'em down yerself.' [M2:] 'Ain't that hilarious!' [Joe:] 'You didn't wanna share, didja' [M2:] 'It was great stuff, man.' [Joe:] 'Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too.' [M2:] 'Hey what man' [Joe:] 'That's the stuff I sold you, right [M2:] 'Yeah, right.' [Joe:] 'Yeah' [M2:] 'It's funny, man.' [Joe:] 'Well, well, uh..' [M2:] 'I'm wasted off it, man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, well that's good. You smoked it, right' [M2:] 'Right.' [Joe:] 'Well that really wans't weed.' [Pause] [Joe:] 'No it wasn't, it was pencil shavings in a bag.' [Silence] [Joe:] 'Yeah.' [M2:] 'Well, it's probably this beer. This beer I'm drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something. Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man.' [Joe:] 'Whoa, oh really!' [M2:] 'I'm just..wasted off 'em.' [Joe:] 'That's a lot of beer for a man to drink.' [M2:] 'Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man.' [Joe:] 'You didn't dump 'em out in the woods, didja' [M2:] 'No..no..no.. I drank all of them.' [Joe:] 'Right, yeah. I saw you..that's good. Hey didja eat today' [M2:]'No, I'm on an empty stomach.' [Joe:] 'Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you.' [M2:] '..And that's why I'm so wasted off it man, it's like I'm seeing things, man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, you can hardly stand, man.' [M2:] 'You should take my car keys, cuz I can't drive, man.' [Joe:] 'Right, right.' [M2:] 'I can barely walk.' [Joe:] 'Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they're half shut.' [M2:] 'There's two of you, man. I can't see anymore, man, I'm blind!' [Joe:] 'Right.. I got the beers, huh I'm the man, right' [M2:] 'Yeah, you are the man.' [Joe:] 'Say it. Say I'm the man.' [M2:] 'Yer da man!!' [Joe:] 'Okay, well that beer..' [M2:] 'Yeah' [Joe:] 'There was no alcohol in that beer.' [Pause] [Joe:] 'That was non-alcoholic. So..uhh..again, I'm gonna have to bust you on this one. You're lying.' [Silence] [M2: Mumbling] 'I'll be right back.' [Joe:] 'Ok, buddy, you go sober up.' [Walking different directions, gun goes off] [Joe:] 'Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!' [Runs over] [Joe:] 'Oh my God! You killed yerself, buddy.' [M2:] 'Yeah, I'm dead, man.' [Joe:] 'Oh my, oh yer dead.' [M2:] 'Yeah, I'm dead, man.' [Joe:] 'That is awefull.' [M2:] 'There's a big white light and everything, man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah! Well you showed us all, man.' [M2:] 'Oh man, I'm so peaceful here man.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, you see anything weird, or..' [M2:] 'My relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather's there and..' [Joe:] 'Ooooh, I remember him, he's a good guy.' [M2:] 'He's still wearing the same clothes, and..' [Joe:] 'Hey, say hello fer me, huh' [M2:] 'Hey man, Joe says hi, man.' [Joe: Chuckling] 'Right.' [M2:] 'It's yeah..My uncle's here and...' [Joe:] 'Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This is so funny.' [M2:] 'Yeah What, man' [Joe:] 'Yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven. The gun, you killed yerself with, that's the one I sold you, right' [M2:] 'Yeah.' [Joe:] 'Yeah, well that was a cap gun. So, there's no way you could have killed yourself.' [Pause] [Joe:] 'Yeah, that's right, ok.. I'm going back to the party. Ok, take care.' [Walks back] [M2: Whimpering and crying] 'I'm moving to a different town man.' [Four weeks later] [Pouring drink] [M2:] 'Oh this beer is great, man. This tequila is really strong, man. It's got a worm, and everything in it, man.' [Buffoon:] 'Fuckin' shit!' [M2:] 'All being in the sun, you're even more wasted. Fuckin' shit is right, man! I am totally wasted now, man. I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade.' [Buffoon:] 'I know a guy who can suck his own dick.' [M2:] 'Yeah, I know a guy who can do that too. He's the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two cases of Southern Comfort, man. We were so wasted off it. I'm serious man.' __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-05-2003, 03:48 PM	#57 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	That Smell Lynard Skynard Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars Oak tree you're in my way There's too much coke and too much smoke Look what's going on inside you Ooooh that smell Can't you smell that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of death surrounds you Angel of darkness is upon you Stuck a needle in your arm So take another toke, have a blow for your nose One more drink fool, will drown you Ooooh that smell Can't you smell that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of death surrounds you Now they call you Prince Charming Can't speak a word when you're full of 'ludes Say you'll be all right come tomorrow But tomorrow might not be here for you Ooooh that smell Can't you smell that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of death surrounds you Hey, you're a fool you Stick them needles in your arm I know I been there before One little problem that confronts you Got a monkey on your back Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick One hell of a price for you to get your kicks Ooooh that smell Can't you smell that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of death surrounds you Ooooh that smell Can't you smell that smell Ooooh that smell The smell of death surrounds you __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-08-2003, 01:43 PM	#58 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	DRINKIN' FROM THE BOTTLE Bobby Bare Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart, Cryin’ blues in motel rooms, Lord, the hard times weren’t that hard. And some fell in, and some fell out and some just fell apart, Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. Harlan sing us "Heartaches By the Number", one more time. Johnny tell us how that woman helped you walk the line. Willie sing us "Hello Walls", cuz we all know our parts. (hello – hello) Been drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. That blonde there, sittin’ on the floor, My sad song made her cry, I think she caught my zipper, ‘Bout the time I caught her eye. For she can take my body home But who’s gonna drive the car? We been drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. Cryin’ blues in motel rooms, Lord, the hard times weren’t that hard. Some fell in, and some fell out and some just fell apart. Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. Now I sip my Chivas, from a fancy crystal glass, A young, ambitious, eight-piece hot band, A-pushin’ at my ass. Well, I was singin’ for the money, I think back to the start, When we were drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. So let’s start drinkin’ from the bottle, singin’ from the heart, Cryin’ blues in motel rooms, Lord, the hard times weren’t that hard. Some fell in, and some fell out and some just fell apart. Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. Drinkin’ from the bottle and singin’ from the heart. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-09-2003, 02:36 PM	#59 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Lickin' Toads Again Fred Zeppelin Lickin' toads again Tastin' reptiles, lord knows where they've been Havin' wild hallucinations with my friends And we can't wait to be lickin' toads again Frenchin' frog rear-ends It's a practice that I can't defend They're not as potent, and it takes 'bout nine or ten Oh, I can't believe just where my lips have been Seems we just can't win Like a bus of Deadheads swervin' down the highway Toads we never lend We heard that AIDS is spread by both the gay way And from toad play Hope it's an honest sin If they hop we stick in safety pins Or a bug, lick any critter from end to end We're just lookin' for a brand-new mind to bend 'Cause they're our best friends We order frog legs when we're out to dinner Every now and then We have to drink a Compound-W chaser The wart eraser Every bye and bye I get the sudden urge to swallow flies A tongue so long that I can zap my own rear end Oh, I can't wait to be lickin' toads again I can't wait to be lickin' toads again Oh, I can't wait to be lickin' toads again __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-10-2003, 01:39 PM	#60 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	The Last Shot Lou Reed The last shot should have killed me Pour another drink Let's drink to the last shot And the blood on the dishes in the sink Blood inside the coffee cup Blood on the table top But when you quit, you quit But you always wish That you knew it was Your last shot When you quit, you quit But you always wish That you knew it was Your last shot I shot blood at the fly on the wall My heart almost stopped hardly there at all I broke the mirror with my fall With my fall, fall, fall; fall, fall, fall Gimme a double, give yourself one too Gimme a short beer, and one for you, too And a toast to everything that doesn't move That doesn't move But when you quit, you quit But you always wish That you knew it was Your last shot When you quit, you quit But you always wish That you knew it was Your last shot Whiskey, Burbon, Vodka, Scotch I don't care what it is you got I just wanna know that it's my last shot My last shot I remember when I quit feeling good See, this here's where I chipped my tooth Shot a vein in my neck and I coughed up a Quaalude On my last shot My last shot Here's a toast to all that's good and Here's a toast to hate An' here's a toast to toasting and I'm not boasting When I say I'm getting straight When I say I'm getting straight 'Cause when you quit, you quit But you always wish That you knew it was Your last shot When you quit, you quit But you always wish That you knew it was Your last shot __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-10-2003, 01:44 PM	#61 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	fuck me phil......... lickin' toads man.......i know the are an hallucinogen but.......i'll stick to the doobies. still laughing ass of about toads __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

12-11-2003, 02:15 PM	#62 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	SLOW RIDE Foghat Woo! Slowride, take it easy REPEAT THREE TIMES I'm in the mood The rhythm is right Move to the music We can roll all night Oooh Slowride Oooh Slowride, take it easy REPEAT Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine Woo! I'm in the mood The rhythm is right Move to the music We can roll all night Oooh Slowride, take it easy REPEAT Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time Slowride, easy, slowride, sleazy REPEAT Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin' one more time Hold me, roll me, slow ridin' woman you're so fine Slowride, take it easy REPEAT Slow down, go down, slow down, go down Come on baby Take a slowride on me Come on baby Take a slowride Feels so good, Feels good, Come on baby Feels good, Feel allright You know the rhythm is right We gotta rock all night REPEAT TWO TIMES Whoa, rock all night Woo! Woo! Your flamin' heart REPEAT THREE TIMES Woo! Woo! Woo! Slowride __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-12-2003, 03:43 PM	#63 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Roll, roll, roll your joint; twist it at the end, take a puff, that's enough and pass it to a friend... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-16-2003, 02:40 PM	#64 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Sam Stone John Prine Sam Stone came home, To his wife and family After serving in the conflict overseas And the time that he served, Had shattered all his nerves, And left a little shrapnel in his knee But the morphine eased the pain, And the grass grew round his brain, And gave him all the confidence he lacked, With a Purple Heart and a monkey on his back There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes, Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose Little pictures have big ears, Don't stop to count the years, Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios Sam Stone's welcome home Didn't last too long He went to work when he'd spent his last dime And Sammy took to stealing When he got that empty feeling For a hundred dollar habit without overtime And the gold rolled through his veins Like a thousand railroad trains, And eased his mind in the hours that he chose, While the kids ran around wearin' other peoples' clothes There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes, Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose Little pictures have big ears, Don't stop to count the years, Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios Sam Stone was alone When he popped his last balloon, Climbing walls while sitting in a chair Well, he played his last request, While the room smelled just like death, With an overdose hovering in the air But life had lost it's fun, There was nothing to be done, But trade his house that he bought on the G.I. Bill, For a flag-draped casket on a local hero's hill There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes, Jesus Christ died for nothin' I suppose Little pictures have big ears, Don't stop to count the years, Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-17-2003, 01:49 PM	#65 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Over the Hill Ten Years After Return to Top I got water on the brain My mind is like a drain Here I go again Over the hill My eyes don't see too clear I'm not sure what I hear Seems I'm goin' clear Over the hill Like a cripple and his crutch I have leaned a bit too much Seems as I shall never touch Again Now it seems it's plain to see That the stuff is killing me Got to quit so I'll be free Again I've got too much to lose No one can fill my shoes Think I'll leave the blues Over the hill __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-18-2003, 01:25 PM	#67 (permalink)
Sticky	Afroman - Because I Got High I was gonna clean my room until I got high I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high my room is still messed up and I know why - cause I got high [repeat 3X] I was gonna go to class before I got high I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high I am taking it next semester and I know why - cause I got high [repeat 3X] I was gonna go to work but then I got high I just got a new promotion but I got high now I'm selling dope and I know why - cause I got high [repeat 3X] I was gonna go to court before I got high I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high they took my whole paycheck and I know why - cause I got high [repeat 3X] I wasnt gonna run from the cops but I was high I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high Now I am a paraplegic - because I got high [repeat 3X] I was gonna pay my car note until I got high I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why - because I got high [repeat 3X] I was gonna make love to you but then I got high I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high now I'm jacking off and I know why - cause I got high [repeat 3X] I messed up my entire life because I got high I lost my kids and wife because I got high now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why - cause I got high [repeat 3X] I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high and if I dont sell one copy I know why - cause I'm high [repeat 3X] __________________ Sticky The Stickman

12-18-2003, 01:50 PM	#68 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	The Pusher Steppenwolf You know I've smoked a lot of grass O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills But I never touched nothin' That my spirit could kill You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round With tombstones in their eyes But the pusher don't care Ah, if you live or if you die God damn, The Pusher God damn, I say The Pusher I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man You know the dealer, the dealer is a man With the love grass in his hand Oh but the pusher is a monster Good God, he's not a natural man The dealer for a nickel Lord, will sell you lots of sweet dreams Ah, but the pusher ruin your body Lord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream God damn, The Pusher God damn, God damn the Pusher I said God damn, God, God damn The Pusher man Well, now if I were the president of this land You know, I'd declare total war on The Pusher man I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun God damn The Pusher God damn The Pusher I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-19-2003, 02:15 PM	#69 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Red Guitar Loudon Wainright III Used to have a red guitar 'Till I smashed it one drunk night Smashed in the classic form As Peter Townshend might Threw it in the fireplace I left it there a while Kate she started cryin when She saw my sorry smile Red guitar was made of wood Could not take the heat Red guitar it caught on fire And the damage was complete It burned until all that was left Was six pegs and six strings Kate she said, "You are a fool You've done a foolish thing" Placed the remains in the case And I put the case away Went to New York City For a new guitar the next day I bought myself a blonde guitar I had it for three days Some junkie stole my blonde guitar God works in wonderous ways __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-19-2003, 07:32 PM	#70 (permalink)
splck it's jam Location: Lowerainland BC	The Fly will be looking for Mary st when he sees this. __________________ nice line eh?

12-19-2003, 07:44 PM	#71 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	Are you sure that's not flyman's house? Fuckin roofers have to do something in the winter.

12-22-2003, 06:51 AM	#73 (permalink)
Sticky	Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - MARY JANE'S LAST DANCE She grew up in an Indiana town Had a good lookin' momma who never was around But she grew up tall and she grew up right With them Indiana boys on an Indiana night Well she moved down here at the age of 18 She blew the boys away, it was more than they'd se en I was introduced and we both started groovin' She said, "I dig you baby but I got to keep movin'" ...on, keep movin' on Last dance with Mary Jane One more time to kill the pain I feel summer creepin' in and I'm Tired of this town again Well I don't know what I've been told You never slow down, you never grow old I'm tired of screwing up, I'm tired of goin' down I'm tire of myself, I'm tired of this town Oh my my, oh hell yes Honey put on that party dress Buy me a drink, sing me a song, Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long Last dance with Mary Jane One more time to kill the pain I feel summer creepin' in and I'm Tired of this town again T here's pidgeons down in Market Square She's standin' in her underwear Lookin' down from a hotel room Nightfall will be comin' soon Oh my my, oh hell yes You've got to put on that party dress It was too cold to cry when I woke up al one I hit the last number, I walked to the road Last dance with Mary Jane One more time to kill the pain I feel summer creepin' in and I'm Tired of this town again __________________ Sticky The Stickman

12-22-2003, 02:28 PM	#74 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Illegal Smile by John Prine When I woke up this morning Things were looking bad Seemed like total silence Was the only friend I had Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down And won And it was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having No fun Ahhh, but fortunately I have the key To escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don't cost very much But it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone No I'm just trying to have me Some fun Last time I checked my bankroll It was gettin thin Sometimes it seems like the bottom Is the only place I've been I chased a rainbow down a one-way street Dead end And all my friends turned out to be insurance Salesmen Ahhh, but fortunately I have the key To escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don't cost very much But it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone No I'm just trying to have me Some fun Well I sat down in my closet With all my overalls Trying to get away from All the ears inside my walls Dreamed the police heard everything I though What then Well I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman* Ahhh, but fortunately I have the key To escape reality And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile It don't cost very much But it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone No I'm just trying to have me Some fun Well done Hot dog bun My sister's a nun * Julius Hoffman notorious judge of the "Chicago Seven" or "Chicago Eight" so-called conspirators accused of rioting during the 1968 Democratic convention. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-22-2003, 07:48 PM	#75 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	cuz of you my man phil............i've been gettin' into john prine lately. he's got some great tunes out there. many thanx for turnin' me onto him. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

12-22-2003, 09:39 PM	#76 (permalink)
silent_jay Her Jay Location: Ontario for now....	hey flyman its me again just had a "smoke" and was listening to this song thought you might like it peace. Sublime- Smoke Two Joints LYRICS (she was living in a single room with three other individuals. One of them was a male and the other two, well, the other two were females. God only know what they were up to in there. And furthermore susan, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them Habitually smoke marijuana cigarettes... reefers) I smoke two joints in the morning. I smoke two joints at night. I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, And then I smoke two more Smoked cigarettes ’til the day she died Toke a big spliff of some good sensimillia Smoked cigarettes ’til the day she died Toke a big spliff of some good sensamill... Easy-e were ya ever caught slippin’? hell no! Daddy he once told me son you be hard workin’ man And momma she once told me son you do the best you can But, then one day I met a man who came to me and said Hard work good, and hard work fine but first take care of head (guitar solo) Whoa, rock me tonight, Whoa-oh, jah sake, Whoa-ohh __________________ Absence makes the heart grow fonder

12-23-2003, 02:02 PM	#77 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Heaven and Mud Loudon Wainright III We were up in heaven But now we're in the mud We fell off the wagon You should have heard the thud We were so superior But that was just a phase We were high on life For fourteen boring days Bartenders got insulted When we would insist On ginger ale, Perrier Or soda with a twist On the airplane we were good guys We sat where folks don't smoke At the party they were all surprised When we turned down a toke We kicked nicotine and caffeine And alcohol and cannibis We copped an ounce of clarity and We scored a pound of bliss But I kept having nightmares And you kept gaining weight We gave in to our withdrawal pains And finally took the bait In no time we were hooked again Suckers that we are Life of every party and The fly in every bar Two weeks on the wagon 'Till we toppled off I got back my headaches And you got back your cough We were up in heaven But now we're in the mud We fell off the wagon You should have heard the thud We were so superior But that was just a phase We were high on life For fourteen boring days We were high on life For fourteen boring days __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-24-2003, 01:36 PM	#78 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	New Amphetamine Shriek by The Fugs I don't have a bedtime I don't need to cum For I have become An amphetamine bum If you don't like sleeping And don't want to screw Then you should take lots Of amphetamine too These stimulant games Can make life so sweet I can walk down the street Without moving my feet My brain works so fleet I can outwit the heat And I never feel beat And I don't need to eat I'm always excited I just love to walk My jaws keep on moving And turning out talk I love to draw pictures In layers and layers And say the words backwards When I say my prayers There's nine bouncing people In one little room The vectors are threading Eternity's loom It's not bad for brain cells The doctors proclaim It's almost as safe as That good old cocaine __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-25-2003, 03:21 PM	#79 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You Led Zeppelin Babe, baby, baby, I'm Gonna Leave You. I said baby, you know I'm gonna leave you. I'll leave you when the summertime, Leave you when the summer comes a-rollin' Leave you when the summer comes along. Baby, baby, I don't wanna leave you, I ain't jokin' woman, I got to ramble. Oh, yeah, baby, baby, I believin', We really got to ramble. I can hear it callin' me the way it used to do, I can hear it callin' me back home! Babe...I'm gonna leave you Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you Oh I can hear it callin 'me I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do I know I never never never gonna leave your babe But I got to go away from this place, I've got to quit you, yeah Baby, ooh don't you hear it callin' me Woman, woman, I know, I know It feels good to have you back again And I know that one day baby, it's really gonna grow, yes it is. We gonna go walkin' through the park every day. Come what may, every day It was really, really good. You made me happy every single day. But now... I've got to go away! Baby, baby, baby, baby That's when it's callin' me I said that's when it's callin' me back home... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

12-26-2003, 01:18 PM	#80 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Ain't Hurtin' Nobody John Prine I'm a walkin' down the street like Lucky Larue Got my hand in my pocket I'm thinkin' 'bout you I ain't hurtin' nobody I ain't hurtin' no one There's three hundred men in the state of Tennessee They're waiting to die, they won't never be free I ain't hurtin' nobody I ain't hurtin' no one Six million seven hundred thousand and thirty-three lights on You think someone could take the time to sit down And listen to the words of my song At the beach in Indiana I was nine years old Heard Little Richard singing "Tutti Frutti" From the top of a telephone pole I wasn't hurtin' nobody I wasn't hurtin' no one There's roosters laying chickens and chickens layin' eggs Farm machinery eating people's arms and legs I wasn't hurtin' nobody I wasn't hurtin' no one Perfectly crafted popular hit songs never use the wrong rhyme You'd think that waitress could get my order Right the first time She's sitting on the back steps just shucking that corn That gal's been grinning since the day she was born She ain't hurtin' nobody She ain't hurtin' no one I used to live in Chicago where the cold wind blows I delivered more junk mail than the junkyard would hold I wasn't hurtin' nobody I wasn't hurtin' no one You can fool some of the people part of the time In a rock and roll song Fifty million Elvis Presley fans Can't be all wrong __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.