rockogre

This will give an approximate number of kittens you have killed in a lifetime.

The Ejaculator

__________________
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Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
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zaiaz

You have made 27.083333333333 gallons and 226.02135833333 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.8888888888889 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,872,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 10400 kittens.

__________________
Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

Root_Beer_Man

HOLY SHIT man

__________________
>3 Cheers for boobies!!<

Regziever

You have made 27.421875 gallons and 228.8466253125 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.95 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,263,600,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 7020 kittens.

Those darn kittens had it comming!!!

__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

baaa

I'm guessing somewhere around 6000
I'm 25 now, I try to murder at least one a day

johnnymysto

Whoa! 10 gallons??!! I never knew I had it in me.

And why DO they call it killing kittens?

__________________
"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

jimk

i don't remember where i saw it - maybe fark- there was a post that said, "every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten."

meow

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raw power is a guaranteed o.d.

raw power is a laughin' at you & me

-iggy

HeAtHeN

You have made 13.203125 gallons and 110.1854121875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 93.888888888889 yards.
You have killed approximately 608,400,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 3380 kittens.

__________________

absorbentishe

I can't really figure it out, since my little swimmers don't come out any more.

Troublebot

You have made 17.0625 gallons and 142.39345575 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.82 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,179,360,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 6552 kittens.

I'm just glad the 17 gallons weren't all at once.

__________________
Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend.
Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

bernadette

BWAHAHAHAHA

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.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

lemming

for johnnymysto that should explain the whole kitten thing

micah67

393 more years and I'll have enough to fill my hot tub!

__________________
~micah

Stiltzkin

Killing kittens is vile and evil. Stop it!

__________________
The most important thing in this world is love.

bundy

how many kittens have i killed??

NOT ENOUGH

__________________
Ohayo!!!

Midlandmadman

I got about 1700 kitty skeletons in my closet......... That seems low.... My wife keeps me so tired i dont kill as many as i used too.

__________________
Its good to be back.

Memalvada

__________________
"The weak are food for the strong, so die and let me feast!" - Makoto Shishio (RK)

IckUber

good times guys, good times. haha.

__________________
How much is y'all Piolkles?

Junchbailey

You have made 11.916666666667 gallons and 99.449397666667 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 63.555555555556 yards.
You have killed approximately 411,840,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2288 kittens.

__________________
Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole days

marcopolo

You have made 10.15625 gallons and 84.758009375 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 72.222222222222 yards.
You have killed approximately 468,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2600 kittens and one ground squirrel.

__________________
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Tiger69z

You have made 9.140625 gallons and 76.2822084375 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 65 yards.
You have killed approximately 421,200,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2340 kittens.

Ilaek

You have made 8.53125 gallons and 71.196727875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 60.666666666667 yards.
You have killed approximately 393,120,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2184 kittens.

grumpyolddude

13,000 kittens, and hunting more later tonight.

__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

goof7ball

Killing Kittens? That is a new one (to me). To think that I wandered into this forum to actaully see what people were saying about killing cats.

You sick-os! (Just kidding) I killed a squirrel not long ago. What euphamism might that be for?

m0rpheus

You have made 26.40625 gallons and 220.370824375 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.8777777777778 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,216,800,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 6760 kittens.

Poor kittens. Guess I'll have to stop jerking off n... oooh look this internet thing has porn...
.
.
.
.
.
6761

__________________
"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Bamrak

You have made 17.875 gallons and 149.1740965 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 1.2711111111111 football fields!
You have killed approximately 823,680,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 4576 kittens.

Ashton

Lebell

I don't know if I should brag or hang my head in shame...

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Plan9Senior

There is a LOT of tissue paper wasted in this thread.

Mad_Gecko

This is why only 50% of lion cubs make it to two years old. We are killing one of the top predators of the african plains at an alarming rate.

PS: Domokun says "Cats have no natural predators", so we must a) control the population of the feline species, and b) prevent colon cancer!

__________________
[color=bright blue]W[/color]e Stick To Glass

"If three of us travel together, I shall find two teachers."
Confucious

bparker805

Woah. I think i might give the poor fella a break for a little while...

You have made 31.078125 gallons and 259.3595086875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.21 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,432,080,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 7956 kittens.

YEAH RIGHT. HEY, GOD. LINE THOSE FUCKERS UP... HERE I GO AGAIN!

tropicdiver

Speaking of <br><br><A href="http://www.richsalter.btinternet.co.uk/"> killing kittens... </A>

__________________
Bob
Life is short. Break some rules.

AnUnkind

That game is cool... but the old fashion way is still much more fun... oh, and:

You have made 8.53125 gallons and 71.196727875 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 60.666666666667 yards.
You have killed approximately 393,120,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 2184 kittens.

Among those "little swimers" how many do you think might have had the potential to solve the world's hunger problems (or any major issues)?

__________________
yeah, you SHOULD feel stupid....

Fremen

I can't say I'm surprised. I knew they were disappearing like flies.
I just hope know one calls the A.S.P.C.A. on me.

__________________
Google

Fly

hang on....workin' on another kitten right now.

*off to the titty board*

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

soxsfans

You have made 29.25 gallons and 244.103067 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.08 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,347,840,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 7488 kittens.

JBX

The fact list:

Amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 tsp
Average # of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons

Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches
According to Kinsey...
White male: 4"
Black male: 4.3"

Average length when erect: 5.1
Another reported...
White males - 6.2" long and 3.7" around
black males - 6.3" long and 3.8" around
According to the Definitive Penis Size Survey...
While males - 6.5"
Asian males - 5.5"

*The average length a guy thinks an erect penis measures: 10"

*What women think: 4"
(*Jane - April 2000)

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

Smallest erect penis: 1cm ("micropenis")

*Largest natural penis recorded: 13 inches *(according to the Kinsey Institute)
In medical literature: 14" (Reuben 1969)
Medically verified on record: 13.5" long & 6.25" around (Dickinson)

Largest penis: blue whale - approx. 10 feet long & 1 foot in diameter. The African Bull Elephants come in 2nd place with a 5-6 footer.

Largest Testes: Northern Right Whale: 2,200 pounds. The African Bull Elephant comes in second place again with 4.4 pounders (each). That's about the size of a football.

Largest Testes (human) on record: an african whale scrotum weighed 154 pounds and measured almost 2 feet in diameter. (the ideal testicle should measure about 4cm long and 2cm broad.)

Elephantiasis: a disease caused by the obstruction of lymph vessels due to parasitic filarial worms - can cause gonads to swell to the size of a watermelon.

Polyorchidism: the presence of more than 2 testicles. (Approx. 75 reported cases - most of which had 3 tests and on occasion one born with 4 or even 5 testicles.)

% of men who say they masturbate: 60%

% of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

% of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2 weeks

Average # of erections a man has per day: 11

Average # of erections during the night: 9

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches

Time it takes the sperm to travel the distance: 2.5 seconds

Diphallasparatus - a rare disorder (80 reported cases) for those with more than one penis.

Dr. Jorn Ege Siana claims to have surgically extended a penis by a full 14.5cm (5.7") The patient was a 42 year old with an 1.8" penis.

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. (There have been 80 similarly documented cases since then.)

When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands.

In 14th century Europe, high-ranking noblemen were permitted to display their genitals below a short tunic, while those not impressively endowed could, if they chose, wear a leather falsie called a braquette.

The Caramoja tribe in northern Ugunda tie a weight on the end of their penises to elongate them - sometimes to such a degree that the men literally have to knot them up.

The Mambas of New Hebrides wrap their penises in yards of cloth, making them look up to 17 inches long.

"The Perfumed Garden" tells of a man who 'remained erect for 30 days without a break' by eating onions.

The "Kama Sutra" claims that eating 'many eggs friend in butter, then immersed in honey', will make the 'member' hard for the whole night.

Sperm can live inside women for up to a week.

When egyptian troops invaded Libya in 13th century BC they took with them as trophies a total of 13,230 penises.

A stone relief in Thebes depicts a band of victors amassing a pile of 3000 phalli before the king.

__________________
"Youth and Strength is no match for Age and Treachery"

mtimmerman123

Originally posted by zaiaz
You have made 27.083333333333 gallons and 226.02135833333 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch the length of 2.8888888888889 football fields!
You have killed approximately 1,872,000,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 10400 kittens.



shhhhhhhhhhit lol

mrquackers

You have made 17.0625 gallons and 142.39345575 lbs. of Jizz, Congrats!
If you lined up your ejaculations in 1 inch pools end to end it would stretch 91 yards.
You have killed approximately 589,680,000,000 little swimmers.
You have killed 3276 kittens.

I'm a dog guy anyway...

__________________
"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

AnUnkind

umm... thanks for the info JBX...

__________________
yeah, you SHOULD feel stupid....