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Tophat665 01-18-2009 07:10 PM

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

Not Right Now 01-18-2009 07:12 PM

That's not even emo, that's just fucked up.

Tophat665 01-19-2009 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Right Now (Post 2585100)
That's not even emo, that's just fucked up.

That is indeed Emo. This emo:
http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/G...89131_6147.jpg

Not Right Now 01-19-2009 08:47 PM

He looks like a magician who does magic tricks for the sole purpose of molesting children.

Plan9 01-19-2009 08:49 PM

Ronny James Dio was emo before emo was emo.

He's a Rainbow in the Dark.

Example: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/181/4...a0dda22863.jpg

kramus 01-19-2009 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665 (Post 2585099)
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

That was a genuine LOL for me, Tophat :thumbsup: I'll have to put that one in the memory banks for whenever a spin on morality is called for.

Tophat665 01-20-2009 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin (Post 2585487)
Ronny James Dio was emo before emo was emo.

He's a Rainbow in the Dark.

It's no Mystery why RJD was always picked Last In Line:
He's really, really Short.

I suppose that could make him sad.

Kramus: Emo is a twisted Genius
-----Added 20/1/2009 at 08 : 50 : 45-----
Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Right Now (Post 2585484)
He looks like a magician who does magic tricks for the sole purpose of molesting children.

Hey boys and Girls! How would you like to see your Uncle Emo pull a spitting cobra out of his pocket? Look! It's an albino.

Not Right Now 01-21-2009 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665 (Post 2585549)
Hey boys and Girls! How would you like to see your Uncle Emo pull a spitting cobra out of his pocket? Look! It's an albino.

...fuck

Plan9 01-21-2009 08:37 AM

Yeah, that was pretty great.

Tophat665 01-21-2009 10:09 AM

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

uncle phil 01-22-2009 02:04 PM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...1/skatevw7.jpg

Tophat665 01-22-2009 05:18 PM

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

uncle phil 01-23-2009 01:16 PM

large?

gay?

emo?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...1/LIBERACE.jpg

Tophat665 01-23-2009 02:35 PM

My wife wanted me to play doctor in bed. I said, "Pathologist?"
/ Not Emo, but it should be.
-----Added 23/1/2009 at 05 : 36 : 07-----
Wait, Liberace was Gay!!!? Huh. Never would have guessed.

uncle phil 01-28-2009 02:44 PM

yup, so was he...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...asondrake2.jpg

Not Right Now 01-30-2009 07:14 PM

that's not emo unc, that's homoerotic

Plan9 01-30-2009 08:13 PM

This thread makes me feel like painting my fingernails black and putting money into the stock market... so it'll FAIL... just like my hopes and dreams.

uncle phil 02-03-2009 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin (Post 2589760)
This thread makes me feel like painting my fingernails black and putting money into the stock market... so it'll FAIL... just like my hopes and dreams.


sing along with me...

"when you wish upon a star..."

Plan9 02-03-2009 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil (Post 2591207)
sing along with me...

"when you wish upon a star..."

... my IRA value will drop real far.

Down and down, it'll spiral away.

After this last girl, I wish I was gay.

Happier I'd be... castrated and alone.

My soul is black and so is my cell phone.

It never rings, no one calls.

My life is just a kick in the balls.

Oh, bother.


...

Ooo, I just emo'd the hell outta everybody.

Thanks, I'll be here all week!

Tophat665 02-03-2009 03:44 PM

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid ... and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.

Not Right Now 02-03-2009 10:43 PM

I might paint my nails black... then punch some emus in the face.

Tophat665 02-04-2009 07:41 PM

My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.

Plan9 02-04-2009 07:56 PM

I bought this girlfriend lingerie once. It had brightly colored humans skulls on it.

Because I associate sex with the massacre of a million of my potential offspring.

So sad, really. A million little white-capped Micheal Phelps paddling along to their demise.

And what better to adorn the source of human creation, the vajayjay, than the symbol of death?

We had a fight over my nail polish color and her constantly calling me Micheal Constantine.

So I put it in the trash one night -- while I was leaving -- under some empty cans of Chunky soup.

How fitting. Perhaps a transvestite hobo is wearing it right now. And thinking of me.

Tophat665 02-04-2009 10:08 PM

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.

uncle phil 04-26-2010 12:54 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Attachment 22136

Tophat665 04-27-2010 05:49 AM

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

FuglyStick 04-27-2010 08:17 AM

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com...6949769786.jpg

uncle phil 05-11-2010 01:18 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Attachment 22292

Ourcrazymodern? 05-11-2010 01:45 PM

I want to believe it will all work out.

uncle phil 05-19-2010 02:31 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Attachment 22351

ring 05-19-2010 10:33 AM

Phil....Oh i dunno, this is just so sad. I am full up to here with sad, I shouldn't have clicked on this thread.
So, here's some more sad:


I spilled a pot of boiling water on my left leg and foot on May 1'st.
It hurt.
The blisters are healing. It's safe to pick at them now.

Tophat665 05-19-2010 10:41 AM

A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

---------- Post added at 02:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:40 PM ----------

Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!

ring 05-19-2010 10:47 AM

Hey! Top! That's almost as funny as your ' snake-vest' joke.

That one is priceless, thanks for the big grin, I needed that.

Tophat665 05-19-2010 10:52 AM

I died, and I'm in the waiting room in heaven. And Jesus walks in behind me-but I didn't know it was him, I said, "Close the door, what were you born in a barn?" And I look...

Ourcrazymodern? 05-25-2010 03:40 PM

Damnit, Tophat, you just TOTALLY SCREWED a ridiculous, maudlin thought. -Thanks.

Tophat665 05-25-2010 03:43 PM

Ahh, but it's Emo.
I like breasts, but more than a forkful is a waste.

ring 05-25-2010 03:50 PM

Hey there, I was just thinking that the Hallmark channel should be
re-named the Maudlin channel.

When I kill the television, I will do it so it doesn't suffer much.

One swift jab to the throat should do it;
wait, I might hurt my hand.

Ourcrazymodern? 05-25-2010 03:53 PM

I always suspected the right hormone.

ring 05-25-2010 03:58 PM

"There's too much violins on tv." - Emily Litella

Plan9 05-25-2010 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silent Partner
Your love claws at my insides
Your laughter’s always close
My life’s filled with uncertainty
Your eyes are full of ghosts
You’re so far from me now
And I can feel you coming
Wrapped in winter’s cold, yeah
Yes, I can feel you coming
Come to take me home
Come to take me home
And I can hear your voice
And I can feel your fingers
In these darkened labyrinth hallways
Your scent so maddeningly lingers
I can feel you coming
Come to take me home
You make me drunk and delirious
I know you’re always close
My life’s filled with uncertainty
Your eyes are full of ghosts
And I can feel you coming
Wrapped in winter’s cold
Yes, I can feel you coming
Come to take me home
Come to take me home

Damien Nichols via Michale Graves


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