Disco Stu: - "Disco Stu doesn't advertise."
- "Disco Stu has uzo for twozo."
- "Disco Stu should disco duck."
- "Disco Stu loves disco music."

Ralph Wiggum - I beat the smart people! I beat the smart people! Ow!!
Lisa - Are you okay Ralph?
Ralph - I bent my Wookie.

and related to that;

Ralph - My cat's breath smells like cat food.

In parody of events in Illinois...

"Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we've ever had!" - Jimbo

Homer (trying to sound like Mr. Burns): Hello, My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me?
Attendant: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I don't ...know

Homer (dreaming of jelly-filled donut): Mmmmmm, purple!

Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

I love this thread!


"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. 'Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells.' Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is." -Homer

Get ready for a misquote...

Homer: I can't become a missionary! I don't even BELIEVE in Jeebus! (then later..) SAVE ME JEEBUUUSSS!

*sigh* So many good ones

(this is probably misquoted but you get the idea)

Lisa and Homer see a news report of an oil spill on tv, showing lots of animals covered in oil

Lisa: Oh no!
Homer: Oh, don't worry sweetie. There's plenty more oil where that came from.

:D

Disco Stu is good as well (in my sig) and Duff Man is always good for a laugh. Dammit, every character has had funny lines over the course of the series!

Woman asking question to Homer:

"Ok so this is a simple lie detector test. All you have to do is answer yes or no. Do you understand?"

"Yes!"

:lie detector machine blows up:

:D :D :D

Homer: "Marge.... I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom."

Drederick Tatum: "Litter is my most treacherous foe. I would like to eat its children."

HOMER: "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Homer: "'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?"

Homer - "De-Fault, the two sweetest words in the English language".

probably a miss-quote:
"Your fingers are too fat to dial - please mash the keys for your free dialing wand"

/grandpa Simpson walks into the room with a hammer and wooden stake

Grandpa : "We have to kill the boy !"
Lisa : "How did you know he was a vampire ?"
Grandpa : "Vampire !? Aaaaah !!"

Fat Bart: "Ah warsh mahself with a rag on a stick..."

Moe: "I'm gonna use your head for a bucket, and paint my house with your brains!"

Kent Brockman: "Argle-bargle, or foofarah?"

It's between ""Doh!" and "Doh."

Smithers: "Women and Seamen don't Mix"

Ralph: "This is where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burnthings"

"Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders"

"Any religion that embraces 'carob' is not for Karl Karlson!" - Karl

Homer: "I'm not a rage-a-holic!"

Marge: "Yes you are. Look, you're punching the cat right now."

Homer: (stops punching and drops a mewling Snowball II) "Oh! I can't help it. I just can't live without rage-ahol!."

Bart: "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."

Parody of Disney commercial jingle:

Burns: Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,

Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best,

So let's prepare these dogs,
Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs,
Burns: See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.

"His ass is gonna blow!"

Darlene : Oh Cletus, why'd you have to park so close to my parents?

Cletus : Don't woorry, they's my parents too!

cue banjo


Professor Frink : Oh boy. That monkey is sure going to pay.

Homer : Alas, my rapacity knows no satiety.

Ralph Wiggums:

"It tastes like burning!"

My favorite Lenny and Karl:

"There's nothing like revenge for gettin' back at someone."

"Oh, I don't know, vengence is pretty good, too."

see sig

Lisa: "I think it's ironic how Dad saved the day while a slimmer man would've fallen to his death."

Bart: "And I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas--"

Marge: "Bart!!"

----------------

Homer: "This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke...it just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!"

"If he's anything like me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch."

"I grew up with tv and i turned out tv."


I can't remember the last one exactly, but it's something like:

"God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place in organized religion!"

proper quote:
Phone voice: "the fingers you have selected are too fat. to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your fist now."

Chief Wiggum: "you have the right to remain....." (looks at Miranda rights teleprompter in car)
"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT"
(PUNCH IN BELLY)

My favorite is Homer singing:

I am so smart

S-M-R-T

I mean S-M-A-R-T

Homer: "Heh. That's what you get, for not hailing to the chimp."

Nameless Kwik-E-Mart corporate guy: "And you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles!"

Another good one:

Homer: I love these lazy Saturdays
Marge: Homer, it's Wednesday
Homer: Ah, work

Skinner: Im not principal of the line mother.
Mom: And you never will be.

Bart: Lisa, why don't you join a religion where people eat each other's heads off!

Lisa: BART!!!!

Bart: okok...jeesh. maybe you should just join the Methodists



(Bart is playing "Bible Blaster" with the Flanders kids)

Kids: Convert the Heathens, Convert the Heathens!

Bart: Yeah! i got one!

Kids: No, you just nicked him. Now he's Unitarian

Lousy Smarch weather.

<Springfield Squares>
Disco Stu: Disco Stu's gonna make three in a row playing tic-tac-toe
Host (Brockman?): er, Stu, we like to downplay the resemblance to tic-tac-toe
Disco Stu: I can dig it

--------------------------

<the shinning>
Homer: "No Beer and No TV make homer... something something"
Marge: Go Crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if i do!! !agh!

Dr. Nick - "It's such a nice day, I think I'll go out the window!" (to escape the press)

Dr. Nick to Smithers, dying in fron of hospital from bee sting "Oh my god!... You need booze!" (throws change)

Or the time Dr. Nick entered an operating room and said "Hi everybody" in a serious tone, and was replied by an equally serious "Hi Dr. Nick"

Homer 'Can't a man jsut enjoy a beer on a wednesday morning in peace anymore?!'

awesome thread.

The goggles - they do nothing! Rainier Wolfcastle