abaya

Uptown, this is what you said:

I have a hard time not hearing that statement as being anything other than a general comment on the fact that "high-class" women are the ones who should give up sex after menopause, meaning that lower-class women are those who do not (like those of us replying to your posts). How else can we take it?

Also, you are still not answering mine or anyone's repetitive questioning of where you get your ideas from. Please just tell us what kind of relationship you are in, and how you are treated (or were, in the past). Why are you watching granny porn if you don't like it? Who is forcing you to watch it? And do you think porn is an accurate representation of reality in any way? PLEASE answer the questions here so that we can have an actual dialogue.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

uptown

I looked at granny porn in an attempt to get an accurate picture of how I must look visually when I'm having sex,seeing women who looked like me,scarred, stretched marked, wrinkled and saggy breasted, writhing around like they were some sort of sex kittens quite frankly made me ill.

I was reared in a time where women were taught that stretch marks from babies meant no more bikini's, that if you got the double whammy and got varicose veins that it also meant no bathing suits period,not even one piece
numbers,no shorts,skirts or anything that exposed your bare leg. "People go to the beach or pool to have a good time and enjoy a nice view,if you are marked and scarred it is unfortunate but you must cover up,it's part of the price you pay for becoming a mother"

I was unlucky,in spite of being slim and exercising, I got stretch marks aplenty, varicose veins and surgical scars,I played by the rules though and accordingly have not worn a bathing suit, shorts,leg reveling dress or skirt in over 20 yrs.

I have eyes, I know what is visually arousing,what is physically attractive and what is not, the thought of a guy having to say "I love you so much I'm gonna close my eyes and make love to you in spite of your ugly body" just makes me cringe in humilation, I dislike the concept of mercy sex,why does that not answer your question well enough?

ShaniFaye

I've had saggy breasts since my 20's, being as big as I am its understandable and I have no desire to have breast surgery to make myself acceptable to the shallow masses

I had my child at 25....stretch marks aplenty....does Dave think they make me less sexy? Hell....let me say HELL...no

I have vericose veins as well, thats not necessarily an "old age" thing.

Your attitude saddens me greatly.....I have the knowledge the every bodily imperfection I have is not a turn off at all to my guy....I sincerely wish you had someone that made you feel that way too. You're letting yourself be a victim to "old timey" upbringing...and you choose to continue it rather than say...its 2005 Im going to be my OWN woman and who cares what people did many generations ago.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

ngdawg

I agree with Shanifaye that Uptown has allowed herself to be a victim of old-time, meritless thinking. How sad that the misguidance we were given in our youth by those with such negative opinions has ruled her mindset now.
And comparing oneself negatively to things she sought out to justify her beliefs is just as sad.
There is probably no one here who doesn't have something they feel is unattractive (my stomach is a nightmare, for instance). But we are, thankfully, sexual beings who would rather embrace those things we love about ourselves and it is this attitude that men of any substance at all seem to find most attractive. Love yourself, embrace your imperfections, accept that you are a living, sexual being and feel a power rise that allows you to show love freely to others. Meritless 'I am worthless because this body is not perfect' thinking is self-depriving and creeps into other aspects of your life voraciously.
On a side note: I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful compliments and thank you for accepting me for the woman I am. (Now if y'all will excuse me I have a new set of photos swirling in my head that I must create )

raeanna74

it seems a little like you, uptown, have based your perception of what a woman should look like on porn. Just judging from the fact that you looked at it to see how you'd look in mature porn. Mature porn, young woman in porn, it doesn't matter, it's all edited, fixed, and touched up so many ways that what you see is nothing like it should look. In some of the mature porn I believe that some men DO like that floppy breast or things like that so they exaggerate some of those features as well. I don't care if you're young or old sex is messy, floppy, sweaty bodies, slapping and sliding together. It's not like they show in the porn videos in the least. We don't have sex because of our looks. We have sex to give each other pleasure. Men may appreciate a good looking body but guess what - there are so few of us even at 21 who have bodies such as you see in porn that most guys would never get a girl like that. They know that. They also know they have problems with their own bodies. I've seen some guys with some wierd looking feet. We are all different and the more we accept our own bodies the more our guys can appreciate our looks. I'm pretty sure that I speak for a lot of guys that they might even go for a woman who wasn't the vision of perfection over a model if the model had the personality of a plant while the other woman had a sense of humor and fun.

I wear a bikini at times even though I have many physical flaws. I'm not significantly overweight and I probably wouldn't wear a bikini if I had enough weight that my sides had folds in the skin but then again I'd still wear a one piece. I don't go to the beach though to sit in the sun and show off - I go to swim mostly. I wear shorts but I don't wear belly baring shirts simply cause I'm more self concious about my stomach. I will probably not wear a bikini this summer because I'm still getting used to my red 3" hernia scar in the center of my abs. Once that fades to a grey line instead of an angry red bump I will be going back to a bikini.

I have sex for the fun and pleasure involved for myself and my then partner. I don't have it to show off my looks. I've seen men who were unable to get it up for me when I was only 27. It wasn't then about my looks. It was because as men age they have more trouble getting hard. Especially if they're taking blood pressure medication. Men don't really work solely on visual stimulation contrary to what one may think. I've seen more than one guy have trouble and then come back another time and have no trouble at all. It's a matter of physical health and sometimes emotional stress on their bodies and the older they get the harder it is for them to get everything in their bodies to work the way they want to. Taking viagra will not help a guy get hard if he isn't turned on. Just read the package - it works WITH arousal and does not just give them a raging hard on with no assistence.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Grasshopper Green

bad jane.....amen. I couldn't have put it better myself.

__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

Manuel Hong

Uptown, it seems to me in my limited understanding of your feelings, that you are really suffering from low self-esteem. It also seems that your partner may be contributing to that if he really is saying things that lead you to believe you're getting a mercy fuck. This sort of negative reenforcement can only snowball...you seem so angry. I'm really sorry you feel this way. Making love is an expression of affection and closeness with your partner, not a porn movie...that's what fucking is. Fucking has its place, but making love is much more satisfying and should never make you question your sexiness to the person who is loving you. I hope that you can share your frustrations with a good counselor or friend who can help you find ways to reaffirm your sense of self, your beauty (internal and external) and your love for yourself. Who gives a flying fuck what others think about your appearance when you are happy with yourself and enjoying your life?
And please, go to the beach in a bikini if it would make you happy...no one else, just you!!

__________________
Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)

KinkyKiwi

ladies, i think that what uptown needs nobody posting here can give her

and yes right now i'm young..but my mother is in her late 50's and i know for a fact my father still finds her attractive.. emotion can do alot toward sex appeal..and frankly..my bf still gets turned on by me even when i'm clogged up and oozing pus so i reaaally doubt that as he ages with me my veins are going to be his biggest issue... as long as a woman wants to have sex and feels liek a sexual being shes still sexy.

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

Lin

All the comments in this thread seem to be about a woman getting old and being unattractive to her partner but why is that any different to a womans image of an old sagging man on top of her.

Or do people just accept that a woman will love her man for more than just looks .Whereas a man is expected to be turned off by a woman when she no longer has a perfect body.

A couple both grow old together , they have both seen the person that they loves body grow less attractive yet its all on the woman to back out gracefully because the man obviously could no longer want to be intimate with her.

The image to me of two old people cuddling up and still having sex with BOTH their old wrinkled bodies entwined is just so beautiful .