Eowyn_Vala

I've been thinking about things a lot lately. There have been lots of major changes in my life within the past few months. One of the most recent and biggest was moving to Manhattan, KS to live with my boyfriend. We've been together for over a year and I love him more than anything! But it seems that the longer I am here the less inclined he is to spend time with me or have sex. I can understand the time thing, now that we see each other everyday living together. But I am beginning to think something is wrong with me and my sex drive! I want it at least once a day if not more and he seems to be okay only having sex every few days. Another more recent concern is with the move, I don't yet have a place to get my birth control for this next month and so soon the whole sex thing might not matter. But knowing my boyfriend, as soon as that happens or as soon as I am on my period he is going to want some! I might be over analyzing (sometimes I do that when I get worried) or I might just be really emotional since my period is very close! But I was wondering if anyone had any advice to offer of any kind! It would be very welcome! Thanks!

Oh yeah and I have had a lot of things on my mind lately like the whole job hunt, and bill worries! So I might be over-reacting! And another thought crossed my mind that has been plaguing me. I was wondering if I might be pregnant. Right now is not the best time in my life for that and I don't really have the money to go buy a test. I have been stressing a lot about that too and haven't said anything to him. I don't want to worry him and then have nothing wrong! Any signs I might look for? Any tips?

Thanks bunches!

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

txlovely

Get the pregnancy thing out of the way first. The cheap drugstore tests work just fine - don't worry that they're generic. You can get one for about 3-4 bucks. That or find the nearest Planned Parenthood or other such clinic and get a pregnancy test and get back on birth control. Those are more important worries than whether or not he'll have sex with you. He's probably picking up on your nervousness and apprehension. Hang in there! Moving is rough no matter what.

__________________
Cruel words erode self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

Eowyn_Vala

Yeah it is and right now I am still on birth control. I never went off of it, I was just thinking ahead to next month's which I don't have and need here in a week or two. So the pregnancy thing is more of a worry of mine due to how emotional I have been lately, not to anything else like not being on birth control. But thanks, after reading that I do feel a little better!

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

sexymama

Moving is very stressful. First things first, get to Planned Parenthood as they will give you free birth control if you can't afford it. Better that then an unwanted pregnancy. Second, take time for yourself in this new environment. It sounds to me like you are relying a lot on your man for your happiness. That can be awfully stiffling even if he does understand. Get out and about: go for walks, make new friends, apply for jobs -- whatever you can do to not be so "needy." (If you even are, just making an assumption based on my many moves.) Third, you are home and he is working from the sounds of it. It may be that he is tired and needs down time while you are full of energy. Maybe use that energy to help him out (cook, clean, massage him, etc.) until you do find a job. Fourth, talk with him regarding your sexual needs and his. It may be just a lack of communication and he may be happy to meet your needs. Finally, as one of my sisters puts it, "your right hand can be your best friend."

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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

Eowyn_Vala

Thanks, I do cook and clean and even give him massages although lately I haven't been keeping up on the massage part. I have been meeting a few new people but that is great advice that I should follow a bit more. I have an interview on Monday and there is another place a friend put in a good word for me. So hopefully one of them works out. If both did that would be great. I hadn't thought about relying on him but yeah I have been a bit which I don't like doing. And I will check for the local planned parenthood right now. Since I am needing my birth control within the next week. Thanks so much for the advice. I do feel so much better and after Monday I'll know about the job. I think if I start working and get out of the house doing stuff things will get better as well. I am tired of being here all day which tells me that I probably won't be a stay at home mom!

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

raeanna74

If you aren't getting out that is possibly the biggest thing you can change. There are weeks where I rarely get out of the house. If you just ask DEI37 I get cranky, testy, and nervous by the end of the week. Granted I'm around kids all the time too but being stuck at home eats away at your sanity somehow. Get out as much as you can. Exercise, do some little things to make yourself feel more confident, sexier, appreciated. Find a part time job or full time - whatever you want. Or if you aren't looking for income then go volunteer. It does wonders for your emotional health. Getting out, social interaction, and purpose to your day will help you out of your slump and maybe the bf will pick up on your mood and respond in a more attentive way. Until he does, do as the other's suggested, be good to yourself.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Eowyn_Vala

thanks all, and now I guess I have a new question!

I was checking out sites on birth control and checked the Planned Parenthood, one of those sites I found said that with no job or insurance to cover me then I wouldn't have to pay. Another never mentioned prices or services much just brochures and information. So I called the number for the closest Planned Parenthood today and they are open at really strange times, I still have to pay and they won't let me get an IUD which is one thing I was thinking of since I haven't had a child yet. That sort of irks me since I know I can get one without having kids. So I am wondering what to do. I don't really want to rely just on condoms and no sex really sucks! I might have enough money in three weeks, but I'm not entirely sure about that! *sigh of frustration*

But as for the other things, I have started doing a bit more, and last night I gave him a full body massage....so things are definately better.

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

BlueBongo

Planned Parenthood is a non-profit organization that does do free pregnancy tests. If you want birth control you will have to pay, but for people with little to no income the price will be minimal. But the pregnancy test is free, and most hospitals will also give you free pregnancy tests too.

Just a quick thought... don't know that it'll help though.

__________________
"Things can only get so bad before they have no choice but to get better.."

Rubyee

I had a stint kind of like yours with the whole sex thing. I was going from having sex any moment we could- we both still lived with our parents- to rarely having it. And this was a person who would mastrubate every night. I thought that he wasn't attracted to me, that he was cheating on me; everything in the book. It got to the point that I would cry if we were alone and he showed no interest. I finally asked him about it and he said that he was sick of starting it all the time.

And then it dawned on me. I never started sex, I just waited for him to start it or would show him my boobs. It didn't really matter, because I realized the reason I never did was because I really wasn't enjoying it, and we soon broke up.

But anyhow- you will never really know what is going on unless you ask him.

The pregnancy thing- go buy a generic test or find a planned parenthood. The generic tests may not be as accurate, but if you are on birth control, the chances of you being pregnant are pretty slim anyway, so I would probably trust the results. Besides, it will at least ease your mind until your period comes if it says no.

__________________
You don't know from fun.

Eowyn_Vala

yeah, my period came and so that was a relief. And I did talk to him about the whole birth control issue. And for now we are using comdoms. And as for him not wanting it as often, mainly i guess it has to do with him being tired and all, which I completely understand. I am working full time now and it is getting to the point where I still want it all the time, but I don't always have the energy. So things are looking up. I did look up the nearest planned parenthood, and am hoping to get there soon, when I get some money saved from a few paychecks, but I have rent and bills to cover right now.

__________________
Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

Rubyee

I am glad you talked things through with him- besides, if you can't talk to someone openly, what is the point of being with them.

And I bet this is the only time you jumped up and down when you got your period!

__________________
You don't know from fun.