Ribs

...I can't believe what is happening now. I visited my girlfriend in college and we did more than we usually do. We only kissed before and this time I fingered her and she HJ me. Well... ok you can't get pregnant from something like that.. or so I thought.

I thought if I dont put my penis close to her vagina we are safe... well 4 days after I left she says her boobs hurt. They hurt for a day or two only. Now I am going to visit her again (last time I visited her was 3 weeks ago). Her period was due about 5-6 days ago and It didnt happen. Fuck I was hoping sore boobs were cause that was the first time I sucked on them.

This is so screwed up. FUCKING precum or some shit like that must have gotten on my hand or something before I fingered her. This is ridiculus. I never even thought about that. I thought I was being completely safe and they day I left I realized that might have happened but such a low chance that touching your precum then fingering her is gonna get her pregnant. Now the missed period... omfg

Some stuff about me and her. We are both 18, almost 19. We live one state away. And there is 100% trust between us. I know you might say that she probobly cheated, but I know she didn't. She was scared of penises before we did that stuff. There is NO QUESTION about cheating.

Now what even worse stuff. I am American, she is Thai. She is the daughter of a thai diplomat. Strict conservative Thai parents. We both have big plans for college and school after that.

Now the worse. I never really talked about abortion to her but I think she is against it. Considereing all the shit a kid would give us. Her parents would probobly hate her, not hate but be completely devastated. She cant wear a even slightly sex shirt cause it is bad image of the parents. Think what a pregnancy would do. Thai people are weird that way it would be such a fucking mess. They would hate me too. My parents love me and trust me so much that would all be destroyed. Worse thing that could ever happen. And I always thought I was so freakin carefull. If I even knew there was a .000000001 chance of her getting pregnant I wouldnt have done it.

Now the only thing that could make me ok is if she got an abortion. [edit] removed stuff about shit you dont have to hear about [edit] Maybe drugs and shit can make me feel better about this crap even although I never touched a cig in my life. Can that stuff really make you feel better and make it seem like your problems are gone?

Maybe I can convince her to get an abortion maybe not. Hopefully I will be able to cause I love her so much, I cant believe this happened. It would ruin her life.

[Edit] I'm gonna wait one more week so stress doesnt change her peroid more, then tell her she might be pregnant and tell her to get tested. She doesn't know the signs of pregnancy yet. So far she has had sore boobs, big appetite -especially meat-, and missed period. We even joked about how this would be the worse possible thing that could happen a while back.

Hain

OK I have been where you are now. My girlfriend and I did this and exactly the same thing happened. If this was her first time doing this with you then the emotional responces from that experience has messed with her hormones. With my girlfriend same effects: sore breasts, messed up cycle. Just get a pregnancy test before you even think about crazy ass shit!

Seriously, take three deep breaths, wait a little, have her take a test, and post me in the morning. Like I said, because you two went further than normal her emotions are just messing with her cycle. If nothing else, I'm wishing the best for you.

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Buy a home pregnancy test.

Brooke

Wow - to be honest, unless you have superman sperm the event of her being pregnant from that encounter is extreamly unlikly. Has she taken a test - you havn't expressed.
Talk to an MD - get some facts - talk to the girl .

If she is pregnant, because there was no penetration of the penis on your part I would suggest a paternity test anyway. For your own sanity.

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Hain

I'm agreeing with Brooke here. Best solution. Until an expert joins this, go with the suggestions present.

Ribs

Dont want to tell her yet. I am going to make sure the period is Missed not just late. Then I will tell her she can be pregnant and to take a test.

And as I said there is no way she has been doing stuff with other guys. And I am going to try to get her to get an abortion that is the only way things can be ok.

StickODynomite

Actually it is VERY possible (although not extremely common) to get pregnant from precum even if his penis didn't insert her. I learned TONS on webmd (No im not an expert and yes, doctors have said that this can happen).

All i can tell you is to wait it out and have her take a test in a lil' while. Dont stress her out and don't stress yourself over this. Stressing gives you something to do but get's you nowhere, darlin.

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Sage

alright. go out there, buy The Guide to Getting it On! by Paul Joannides. not only will it dispel your worries, but it'll teach you, in a fun and civilized manner, everything about sex and how it works.
i think that you need to sit down and have some serious dialouge with yourself about what you know about sex, because it seems you don't know a lot at all. precum, while having sperm in it, is an incredbily small amount of fluic and *if* some got on your finger it's *highly* unlikely that it would find its way up through her cervix, all the way across her uterus, up her fallopian tube to find an egg that's ready to be fertilized. if you're that worried about getting her pregnant, you don't need to be having sex with her unless she's on the pill and you're in a little rubber raincoat. plus i highly doubt she'd be having pre-pregnancy symptoms of boobs hurting four days after you left. that's a little early. i agree with the other posters here- her hormones are probably fluxing due to the emotional ups and downs you expierenced while going "to third base." also, if she's ignorant of the fact she could possibly be pregnant, it seems she's a bit too naive to be sexually active.

(disclaimer) I'm not saying this in a demeaning manner, but i DO think it's VERY important to be educated about sex and sexuality BEFORE something like this happens between you and your partner. *The More You Know*

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bermuDa

late periods can be made later by stressing about it. I think you might be exaggerating the odds that she's actually pregnant in your mind and this is causing you undue stress.

If you really want to wait it out you can but I'd recommend a home test kit. Just make sure neither of your parents find it or the box or receipt...

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StickODynomite

Lots of stress CAN delay her period, many things can. Taking the test now certainly wont hurt anything. . It really depends if you're ready to find out NOW or later...and do take the precautions to make sure no one sees the box etc like bermuda mentioned.

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maleficent

I find it extremely disturbing that she hasn't taken a test yet, and you have her already talking about abortion and about how ruined her life will be... People get pregnant before they are ready, ya know what? they survive it, and so does the child. It forced the pregnantees into maturity pretty quickly. If, by some freak of nature she is pregnant, it's not the end of the world.

If her breasts are tender, that's actually pretty normal before a woman gets her period, if you think it's because she's pregnant -- 4 days later is entirely too soon for breast tenderness... Cravings of food wouldn't happen for a while either. Most women, don't realize that they are pregnant for at least the first month.

For some education for you:
Symptoms of Pregnancy
http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-symptoms
Most likely, you won't experience any pregnancy symptoms until about the time you've missed a period or a week or two later. If you're not keeping track of your menstrual cycle or if it varies widely from one month to the next, you may not be sure when to expect your period. But if you start to experience some of the symptoms below (not all women get them all) and you haven't had a period for a while, you may very well be pregnant. Take a home pregnancy test and find out for sure!

10. Tender, swollen breasts
One of the early hallmarks of pregnancy is extremely sensitive, sore breasts caused by increasing levels of hormones. In fact, the tenderness you may be feeling now is probably an exaggerated version of how your breasts may feel before your period. The tenderness will diminish significantly after the first trimester, once your rising hormone levels have stabilized and your body becomes accustomed to them.

9. Fatigue
Feeling tired all of a sudden? No, make that exhausted. Increased levels of the hormone progesterone and the extra effort your body requires to start making a baby can make you feel as if you've run a marathon when all you've done is put in a day at work. You should start to feel more energetic again once you hit your second trimester, although fatigue generally returns sometime around your seventh month.

8. Implantation bleeding
The fertilized egg begins to burrow into the lining of your uterus about six days after fertilization. Sometime after this you might notice a small amount of red spotting or pink or reddish brown staining. Only a minority of women experience this so-called "implantation bleeding." (If you have pain along with spotting or bleeding, call your practitioner immediately, since this can be a sign of an ectopic pregnancy.)

7. Nausea or vomiting
If you're like most women, morning sickness won't hit you until about a month after conception. (A lucky few escape it altogether.) But some women do start to feel queasy a bit earlier. And not just in the morning, either — pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting can be a problem morning, noon, or night. It tends to peak around 8 to 10 weeks, when your hormone levels are highest, and then will most likely taper off as you begin your second trimester.

6. Increased sensitivity to odors
It's not uncommon if you're newly pregnant to find that you're now overwhelmed by the smell of a bologna sandwich from several desks away and that certain aromas instantly trigger your gag reflex. This, too, may be a side effect of rapidly increasing estrogen in your system.

5. Food aversions
While some women insist they crave certain foods during pregnancy, food aversions are even more common. You may suddenly find certain foods you used to enjoy are now completely repulsive to you. This problem may come and go or last throughout your pregnancy.

4. Frequent urination
Shortly after you become pregnant, you may find yourself hurrying to the bathroom at an alarming rate. Why? It's primarily due to the fact that during pregnancy the amount of blood and other fluids in your body increases, which leads to extra fluid being processed by your kidneys and ending up in your bladder. This symptom may start as early as six weeks into your first trimester and remain or even get worse throughout your pregnancy.

3. A missed period
If you're usually pretty regular and your period doesn't arrive on time, you probably took a pregnancy test long before you would have noticed any of the above symptoms. But if you're not regular or you're not keeping track of your cycle, nausea and breast tenderness and extra trips to the bathroom may give it away before you realize you didn't get your period.

2. Your basal body temperature stays high
If you've been charting your basal body temperature and you see that your temperature has stayed elevated for 18 days in a row, you're probably pregnant.

And finally...

1. The proof: A positive home pregnancy test
It's best to wait until at least the first day of a missed period before you take a pregnancy test. (If it's negative, try the test again in a few days.) Once you've gotten a positive result, make an appointment with your practitioner. Now head on over to our pregnancy area. Also, don't forget to update your profile and sign up for our "My Baby This Week" newsletter. Congratulations!

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Ribs

I know quite a lot about sex safetey. Just the 1 situation that I never heard of anyone saying to watch out for was touching your penice before you finger someone.

And yes for the past 3 weeks I have been reading about precum and pregnancy. Yes chances are small but they are still there. The first week I almost passed out a couple times worrying about it untill I did research. I completely got over it and was expecting "did you have your period" "yup" me = happy. She didnt have it and now this completely screwed my nerves over. You guys seriously dont want to know what I edited out. I still feel it just dont want to give you guys more problems. Only the first person read it.

And think to yourself. Here are the symptoms she has been telling me about without even knowing it.

-Complaining a couple times a week how hungry she is.
-Complaining about boobs hurting about 4 days after. Then saying they feel deflated for about 2 weeks, then saying the feel small but full.. whatever that means.
-Sleepier than usual (has been going to bed a bit later)
-MISSED PERIOD by 4-7 days

Now add all this together... seems pretty obvious although I by no means claim to be an expert on women, but about 3 straight weeks of research all point to this.

Things I didnt say earlier
-First time anyone sucked her boobs
-First time anyone fingered her (she has done herself for about a year mabye once ever 2 weeks to a month she told me)
-She doesnt seem to be overy stressed about the fingering and actually quit excited about it. (not worrying or stressing about it from what I can tell)


Now can any of you seriously tell me "She is probobly not pregnant"
-

maleficent

There is NO WAY that the symptoms you are describing would appear 4 days after you touched her...

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Ribs

So the only "real" symptom would be the missed period then right? That is still pretty significant. I seriously hope so.

StickODynomite

Ribs,

I'd also have to say that her being pregnant will not RUIN your lives unless you have that outlook. Having a child can make you live and see what life is really about. It's one of the many joys in life. You CAN go to college even if she is pregnant and has a baby. You CAN still make a great life for yourselves. Many many people do it everyday and many many women do it ALONE every day. Take my bestfriend for example, has a baby boy and goes to work and school.. father isn't w/ her anymore. She's working hard, but she's VERY happy she kept Mason.

Abortion, in my opinion should be the last thing on your mind. However, this thread isn't about that.. so im moving on..

As far as symptoms go..

When i first got pregnant my breasts were sore BEFORE i missed my period, my appetite didn't really change for a while, i WAS nauseous BEFORE i missed my period (it almost felt like it was a few days after conception), i had NO implantation bleeding, my sense of smell didn't heighten until about 4wks of being pregnant.. EVERY woman is DIFFERENT.

Have her take the test ASAP. I couldn't wait.. I don't know how you can.

Either way, I hope everything works out for the best.

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Ribs

You know, if she had parents like me it would be ok and if she wanted I wouldnt mind her having the baby and giving it up for adoption. I love her so much and I know this would ruin everything for her. I don't think anyone here can really understand her parents situation.

She is here with her parents. She is Thai and has stirct parents even by Thai standards. Her parents are diplomats and they move ever 4 years or so. They dont want to let her hang out with cause exactly because of this kind of thing. She is trying to graduate college early and this would make it hard for her. When she comes back home to my state for vacation she cant be out of the house past 9pm and she is on college living alone on campus.

Seriously I want to be a dad but not now. Maybe 5 or 10 years from now. And we can always have a kid then. Dont have money, wouldnt be able to get a job, education wouldnt be finished. And the whole her parent issue no one can understand.

And the only reason I'm holding out on the test is she doesnt know she might be pregnant so that means she isnt going to stress over the missed period. If it comes in a week then good. If she stresses it might not come or something. So I going to wait a week untill I am sure its not comming then suggest to her what might be the cause.

guthmund

My thoughts exactly. I very seriously doubt these symptoms are related to your sexual encounter. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say they're probably related to some sort of deficiency in her diet.

I hate to keep repeating others, but it should be mentioned again. While it's possible to get pregnant from 'fingering,' the chances are astronomical unless, like Brooke mentioned you're harboring a super-sperm factory in your pants and stress is most likely the explanation for the late period.

And for chrissakes, have her take a home pregnancy test. There's no sense getting all worked up until you have.

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visotech

God damn ribs...just tell her to do the test. You two are stressing yourselves out way too much before you even know whats going on. I have read that extreme stress can also cause missed/late periods so this can't be helping (similar thing happened to a friend - 3 weeks late under all kinds of stress)...Just get a test and then start worrying. Also, symptoms of pregnancy dont usualy come that early usualy (except for missed periods)...also sore breasts could be a symptom of a little too much foreplay...Once my girlfriend and I had a similar scare after actual protected intercourse, we started freaking out then just got a test and we were ok.

KalashnikovGOTR

Ribs,

I agree with visotech. Go out and take the test as well as see a doctor about this.

I know the stress is killing the both of you, but you need to find out where to go from here and taking the test is the logical step at this point.

Now is not the time to crawl into the bottle, nor is it the end of the world. Go out, take the test, then plan your next move. If the test is negative, re-test. If the test is positive, re-test.

-edit-
my crappy spelling.

mrcraptastic

I guess that makes me the first person, and no, that is not a plausible solution to anything. Anything.

ironmaiden7o7

This is new to me! I didn't know that was possible. You should get a home pregnancy test before you drive yourself nuts.

ratbastid

Too late!

Look, couples have scares like this all the time. lurkette and I had one back in college.

Unless she's a super-clockwork woman, it's pretty normal for a woman's cycle to vary by a few days every month. She's not even a week late yet (you've said "4-7" days). That's not a missed period, it's a late period.

I can guess what you edited out, by the way, and shame on you for even thinking about it. A real man owns up to his mistakes, he doesn't take himself off the hook.

abaya

Most important: you need to tell her your fears upfront, regardless of whether or not her period comes. If she doesn't know how important this is to you, then she doesn't know you, and that means something's not right in your relationship.

I have Thai family, so don't assume that "no one will understand" that part. Upper-class Thai women are notoriously overprotected and ignorant about their own bodies and sexuality. You two need to communicate and find out what she knows about sex, and assess exactly how much YOU know. If it ain't much, you'd better get talking and learning together before you start messing around again. Spend an evening at Barnes and Noble in the Sex section just browsing, if you're uncomfortable buying a book... she needs to understand anatomy, know the risks of sex, know the symptoms of pregnancy and/or other sex-related situations, before you guys take your clothes off again.

Also, if you "love her so much and know this would ruin everything for her," then why the hell are you messing around without any precautions? Either abstain until you can deal with the risk, or she can get on birth control without her parents knowing, and you can use a condom if you're that freaked out about pre-cum. If you really care, take the steps to show it, rather than letting your own fear and paranoia rule.

Carno

Wow. Dude, you are freakin out for nothing.

I complain to my friends about how hungry I am like every day. That doesn't mean anything except that I haven't eaten in a while. I'm not a woman, but I assume that girls feel hungry when they haven't eaten in a while also.

Seriously though dude, you are overreacting. Chill out. You don't know she's pregnant, you just think she is based on poor research. Sore breasts and hunger are also caused by other things than pregnancy.

Ribs

Because I never knew that fingering her had the smallest chance of getting her pregnant. I wish someone told me this and I would have never touched her or let her touch me. Thats what makes it worse. And after the first time we did it I told her we should use a condom even although I "knew" that nothing can happen from this. Well I knew wrong.

And yes even if she isnt, which I'm still sure she is, I am going to talk with her about this stuff.

greeneyes

A mature adult who is ready to be sexually active would have talked about all of this stuff before they engaged in sexual activity. And yes, fingering and hand jobs do count as sexual activity.

And furthermore, a mature adult doesn't decide that his potentially pregnant girlfriend (who at this point is unaware) should get an abortion. You need to talk to her and you need to grow up.

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Ribs

I am going to talk to her. I thought I would have a talk with her before we decided to do anything that can get her pregnant. You guys realize that before this happened I thought it was just like kissing, no chance 0% of pregnancy. And yes I did lots of reading but nowhere did I see anyone make the connection of precum -> can get on finger -> can cause pregnancy . If I thought of this I would have never done it.

ratbastid

Here's the real bottom line of the thing: You've already decided she's pregnant, when you don't actually know.

It's impossible for you to make a rational decision right now because you're totally freaking out. You've got to get a handle on yourself here. Talk to her about what you're afraid of, but DON'T tell her you're sure of anything or you know anthing, because you DON'T. Tell her you want her to do a home test just to ease your mind. Because that's what it really is.

Ribs

Im leaving to visit her in 1 hour for valentines week. The drive is about 5 hours. Should I tell her this week when I am tell her to take the test? If its positive what should I tell her? Shes probobly gonna pass out if it is or something. Should I get her to a hospital then? Just back to the room and wait till she wakes up?

ShaniFaye

there might be some advice for you from this thread where the other guy thought HIS g/f was preggie from the same thing

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ight=fingering

that describes me the week before and first 3 days of my period

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short answer No
long answer No, drugs make you STOP caring about your problems you know they are there and when you sober up they are still there. doing drugs to solve anything is a horrible idea and can turn a bad situation into a terrible situation for months or years

clavus

Yo! Seriously. Listen to ratbastid. Why buy into misery before it goes on sale?

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Glory's Sun

I really doubt she's pregnant. IF she happens to be by some off chance. DON'T FREAK OUT! You both have to take a step back and think this over. You both need to be completely honest on how you feel about the situation. When you get there have fun with her but talk to her about it. Just buy a home testing kit and go from there. There's no use in freaking out until you know where you're at.

As far as the drug question goes. A person should never take drugs to forget things..that when you get hooked. Been there done that. IT sucks. So no matter how this turns out.. stay away from the shit and do what you need to do to be responsible.

Averett

You really need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Dude, youre stressing me out.

Have you even read anything here? At all? If not, then do it. Then CHILL THE FUCK OUT some more.

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Captain Nemo

My turn; My wife said to me one morning that her boobs hurt, and I looked at her and said "you're pregnant". Yep she was, but the difference is that this was weeks (let me emphasize WEEKS) after she actually conceived. There is no way your girlfriend would show signs that quickly. And let me weigh in with the others who said that stress can fuck with a woman's period. My wife became so obsessed with the fact that she didn't have a period (this was a while before she got pregnant, unrelated event) that she went two months without one. The doctors could find absolutely nothing wrong and were convinced that she was screwing up her body by stressing out about it.

You need to MELLOW THE HELL OUT

sailor

Im going to echo Averett:

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

Have you read a damn thing anyone has said? She is LATE. Its fucking NORMAL. CHILL OUT. Christ, if she was pregnant, she wouldnt have any of that stuff until at least of month from now. You just have yourself all worked up because you went further than you normally did and now are worried about it.

Once again:

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

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Ribs

Ok.. I'll chill out.. So I will just go over for valentines day and have fun, then during the next week I will be asking her about her period very inconspicuously, and if it doesnt happen over the next week I'll drive down and tell her what could be happening and go with her to get tested.

And now that I'm thinking this is stupid. If she doesnt get an abortion and decides to keep it then I am going to try my best to protect her from her parents... I wouldnt care much if I was the one getting pregnant cause I wouldnt have any family problems with it, but I am just so worried for her cause her plans for school and trying to earn the trust of her parents.

But like I said I'm gonna chill for a week and then try to do whats best.
Thanks guys. And I'll keep reading and update whatever happens.

Captain Nemo

"If she doesnt get an abortion and decides to keep it"

Dude, you need to take classes on how to mellow out.

Averett

Can we close this thread? Cause obviously he isn't listening and it's pissing everyone off. Or maybe it's just me.

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pinkie

Buy her a preg test for V day.