Borla

Very random thought I had this morning, eh?

I was thinking back to an old job I had, and a teenage kid had just started as kind of a temp worker, and he came in one day completely distraught. He said that his uncle had died and he needed some time off. I told him I felt bad for him and asked if his uncle had been sick, or what happened. He said his uncle had a heart attack while shoveling snow. I then asked if it was his mom's brother, or his dad's, or if he'd married into the family. He said "oh, he's not really related, I just call him 'uncle'."

I'd never heard of anyone beyond little kids calling non-relatives uncle. I know some people who have their babies/toddlers call their close friends uncle or aunt, but not once the kids get old enough to understand. Now I've seen it happen a bit more often recently.

Do you call anyone aside from your "true" aunt or uncle by those titles?


How about that for a random Friday morning thought?

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Charlatan

My kids do with some of my wife's friends but I would rather my kids just call my friends by their first name.

I think my wife has a couple of her Mom's friends that she calls Auntie. I guess it's just the case that some friends are so close that they are seen as honourary siblings.

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maleficent

I'm called Aunt by the children of a few friends... They aren't related to me, and I'm not even sure they are really close friends, but the parents try to instill in the children respect for adults and calling me by my first name just isn't appropriate ( to them), but calling me Ms and my last name is way too formal... So Auntie seems to be the happy medium.

A very proper Southern friend of mine, her darling boy calls me Mizz Mellyellen (He's had a tough time with my first name) but for the same reason, just calling me by my first name isn't appropriate for children and using Ms and my last name is too formal.

Back when I was a kid, there were some friends of my parents that I referred to as Uncle whatever or Aunt whatever... it's really a term that doesn't mean a lot of anything...

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d*d

I was talking about this with my girlfriend, a lot of her friends are having kids and I am being refered to as 'uncle' david - but I feel like a fraud and that I am demeaning the uncle status for the actual ones. However I had an uncle that wasn't whom I continued to call uncle past childhood, think it depends if they stay around since friends change but relatives don't

asaris

Until she died, I used to call my grandmother's cousin 'aunt'. She was very close with my grandmother, and so she was really a lot like an aunt.

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Borla

That makes sense. It just wasn't something I'd ever done growing up, so I guess it was a bit unusual for me to hear.

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Craven Morehead

Kind of OT - but I can't think of another relative that is addressed by their relationship - Uncle Jim. Not Grandfather John, or Grandmother Ruth, or Sister Nancy, or Brother Tom. Wonder why Aunts and Uncles get this special naming convention?

Sorry for the thread hijack.

I've never called anyone else Aunt or Uncle but have encountered that before. Not sure why or how that started.

smooth

My working hypothesis is that those were "special" friends (not necessarily your parents' friends, though)

But just, in general, maybe these are friends who are closer than friends, but not quite family...capiche?


EDIT: @Craven, it's cuz their is more than one. Grandma and Grandpa [last name] do get similar treatment <<< see.

hmm, well, actually if you're standing in front of the person, you wouldn't say Grandma Shoe. Not saying her first name seems to be due to respect (I don't call my mom by her first name) and calling her by her last name would be too formal.

But I would call my sister or brother, if I had one, by their first name. Presumably because they are on the same status level as I am. If I were speaking about them to someone else, I would need to use their name, 'John" or just use "my brother" or "my brother, John..."

when we are young, we might have been taught to call other adults by Mr. Shoe. As we become older, we call that person 'John.'

In the case of an aunt or uncle, they are on a similar status level as one's parents, but not quite. They are adults, but not equal to one's parents. So we get Uncle John (the name our parents would use with an honorary title in front).

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raeanna74

There is a couple who has been very close to our family for years. He was actually our pastor at one time. She was/is so close to my Mom that they call each other sisters. She is also listed as executor of my Mom's estate (though Mom and I have discussed this and Mom agrees it should be changed as Aunt N is over 75 now). They have been at all our special occasions: Christmas, b-days, graduation, and everything inbetween. They even drove 6 hours to be there the morning after my daughter was born. We call them Aunt and Uncle but they act and are treated like family and no-one would even know the difference. Uncle D has had Alzheimers and it has been as hard for our family as their own children I think. Their grown children aren't around much and one child rarely communicates with them, he's even been known to disappear with no phone number or address for months on end. We give them the close family that they need and they have done the same. They've in a sense EARNED the title of Aunt and Uncle.

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politicophile

I refer to my parents' aunts and uncles as though they were actually my direct aunts and uncles instead of the "great" variety. Additionally, I refer to my old babysitter's siblings and aunt and uncle because, when I was young at least, this particular babysitter pretty much treated me as her son.

I had no idea that this was a common practice...

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joemc91

I am called uncle by my cousin's two kids. Apparently I am great with kids according to her (she's my age as well), so now I get the title uncle. I think it is fine if one is close to the family, but to call everybody uncle or aunt just doesn't cut it. I also call one very good friend my brother since we talk to much and see each other a lot (even more when we were little). Plus that whole family might as well be an extension of ours.

snowy

I call all my best friend's aunts and uncles "auntie so-and-so" and "uncle so-and-so". I'm pretty much a part of their family now so it's expected A family friend of mine used to be called "uncle" when we were much younger...now that we're all older the age difference between us (12 years) seems much less, and so he no longer is eligible for uncle status, hehe.

When I have children, my best friend will definitely be an "auntie" to my kids. No doubt about it. I firmly believe that a child should have a lot of adults they feel they can turn to--blood shouldn't matter in this kind of relationship.

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nukeu666

any adult(read 15 years older atleast than me)who i dunno personally or any of my parents' friends would come in the uncle and aunty catagory.
then again hindi is such a confusing language...it took me years to learn what to call all my relations...
father's sister is called bua
mothers sister called masi
fathers sister husband called fufa
fathers older brother called tau
fathers younger brother called chacha
mothers brother is mama

now with my extended family's next generation coming up...i have to figure out what all the younglings are going to call me

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KellyC

When I speak Vietnamese, I call everybody who is around my parent's age or "rank" uncle or aunt. It goes something like this

Older than both parents is called "bac," pronounced "back." Simple eh? applies to both gender
younger than dad and is on dad's side and is a male is called "chu"
younger than dad and is on dad's side and is a female is called "co"
younger than mom and is on mom's side and is a male is called "cau"
younger than mom and is on mom's side and is a female is called "gi"

CHU's wife is called "thim" --applies to dad's brother only, other wise it's "co"
Co's husband is called "chu"
CAU's wife is called "mo"
Gi's husband is called "chu" also, or sometimes "vuong"

So yeah, there's like a dozen ways to address an aunt or uncle.

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Destrox

Moms brothers or Dads brother = Uncle.
Dads sister = Aunt
Any of those listed Uncle or Aunts that married get the title with their wedded one.

Thats it.

I keep it by definition.

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Psycho Dad

Some good friends of ours have a daughter with no aunts and uncles of her own due to her parents being only children. She was bummed about this a few years back and asked if my wife and I could be her aunt and uncle. My wife and I love her every bit as much as any of our biological families and are happy to call her our niece.

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Glava

In Russian, a lot of people who aren't the siblings of your parents or their spouses are called uncles and aunts, but I never confused my "relative" uncles/aunts with the other ones. I remember my friend, who is a Filipino-American, telling me that he confused his blood aunts/uncles and their spouses with their parents' friends.

Siege

As a Chinese person, anyone who is around my parent's age that I don't know very well is Uncle or Aunt.

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Rodney

Nah, just blood aunts and uncles, and their husbands and wives. As is often the case, I was often closer to the married-in uncles and aunts than the blood ones. My Aunt Mary's second husband, Uncle Wayne, was the steady rock of our extended family. He was a laid-back, even-tempered and gracious good-ol' boy dropped into the middle of a clan of semi-hysterical Portuguese-Americans. Everybody liked talking to Wayne -- he lived in the moment and was happy to be there. Practically zen. Perhaps it will complete the picture if I say that he worked with high explosives for much of his life.

One day Mom called me and said, "Well, Wayne died." "Oh, SHIT," I answered. There was a pause, and she said, "You're the third person I called, and everybody else said the same thing you just said."

Kind of a thread hijack, and I apologize, but it's been ten years and I still miss him.

dlish

looks like the 'uncle and aunt' calling is prevalent in non western cultures.

as an arab, anyone who is older by 10-15 years is an uncle or aunt. hell im starting to be called uncle and aunt now by all these toddlers walking round. they happen to be my cousins kids... (i have 74 first cousins FYI).

but generally this is how it goes

mothers brother - khal
mothers sister - khaltoh
fathers brother - aam
fathers sister aamtoh

everyone else considerably older is a 'aam' or 'aamtoh'. its quite common in arab cultures the world over, including communities in western countries like australia.

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Xazy

Some of my close friends I take their relatives sort of as my own. I call their mom-mom, dad-dad, etc...

Rubyee

I still call my aunts and uncles by their first names when addressing them directly. I only add the aunt or uncle title when talking about them to clairfy who I am talking about. It just seems strange to call my aunt "Aunt so and so."

Now with grandparents, I only call them Grandma or Grandpa when addressing them directly. When talking about them, I use Grandma or Grandpa so and so for clairification.

I don't find it strange to have your children call your close friends aunt or uncle, because the closer your friends are, the more they will impact the life of your child. In fact, some people act like their best friends are their sister or brother. I guess I don't find anything odd about it because I don't have my own children. It might change if I someday do.

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skier

My parents and my best friend's parents were close even before both of us were born- i've always called them aunt and uncle, and in terms of relationships they are identical to my "real" aunts and uncles.

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ryfo

A close friend of my mums gets called Mrs M... cos when I was little I coulndn't pronounce her name properly and I called her this (as it was the closest I could get to the real thing) The good thing is I still call her that and since I am the only one to do so. she always knows when its me on the phone. I did get permission to call her by her first name as I got older but the name had stuck by then and it continued. As for aunt and uncle my real nieces and nephew just call my by ny first name.

SecretMethod70

Funny, I have an uncle who married into the family and when I was a kid I would address him as "Uncle Jeff," to which he would respond by calling me "nephew Brian."

As for the thread topic though, my dad's best friend - whom I'm named after - is someone I refer to as uncle. Interestingly enough, I called my mom's 2 best friends aunt when I was younger, but don't think of them with that prefix anymore. I would attribute it to the fact I get more exposure to my dad's friend than the two good friends my mom had when I was younger...one died when I was in 2nd grade and the other we have simply not had as much opportunity to be in contact with. Since I hadn't kept up the practice of calling them aunt, I think it just faded away.

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analog

I have a family that's basically related to ours by the longevity and closeness of the friendship. Our families have been friends since I was 3 (and my brother was some number of months old), so basically as far back as my memory goes, they've been like my own family. Their first was a girl, they had when I was 4... and then they had a boy a couple of years later... so basically, I grew up with these two like they were almost my own sister and extra brother. Growing up, we hung out at least one or two nights a week- sleepovers, that sort of thing, for us- while the parents hung out and chatted and played their card games and socialized.

We always just called them by their first names (the parents, I mean), because we were so close it didn't seem right to formalize it... and they weren't *technically* related, so there wasn't a naming convention in place... besides, they knew we were all so close, and the respect and such was very much assumed and kept, so no reason to use formal language.

To this day, we're still all very close- maybe missed a total of 3 or 4 christmas eve/day get-togethers, thanksgiving, easter combined, for the past 20 years, and for specific reasons each time. I wouldn't really refer to them as "aunt" or "uncle" to anyone, but if anyone ever needed it, like for visiting in a hospital or someplace similar where family ties are necessary, they are unquestionably my aunt and uncle, and their kids are like my brother and sister (I know this should tehcnically make them my "cousins", but all I would say is they're my cousins, but like my brother/sister).

I did this when I went to the hospital when my "sister" (their daughter) was in the hospital because she was hit by a car. When I asked what room, they asked what relationship I was, and I said I was her brother. The nurse even followed me in after a minute and asked her, "is this your brother?" And she immediately said "of course he is." lol

LMAO I decided long ago that, assuming my brother wants kids, when his kids call me "Uncle analog", they will get "niece/nephew [name]" in return, just like you got "nephew brian", just because it's funny.

stevie667

I call my standard uncles and aunties by that title, and i call my great-uncle and aunties as bog standard auntie and uncle too.

Lots of people i know call close family friends uncle and auntie, because they were either very involved with the family when the kids were growing up, or like people have said before, it was the best suitable title for a young child (instead of a formal title or unapropriate usage of a first name).

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Suave

Someone was talking to me about this a couple of weeks ago. In some cultures (when smaller towns or villages are involved normally), everyone is treated as a family, and so this guy specifically had fifty plus "uncles" and "aunts" running around, simply because they were a close community.

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feelgood

I call most of my Dad's bro and sisters by their name nowaday. Sometime a Uncle or Aunt slips out once in awhile.

At my job, we have this old chinese guy who's gumpy and we call him Uncle Ted. Sometimes Teddy

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texxasco

I call my aunts and uncles using the normal title. I have a couple nephews who call me uncle, and I am called uncle by my god daughters as well.

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tokaok

my culture deems only the siblings of parents, spouses of aunts and uncles are called by their first names and do not receive the aunt or uncle status any child who accidently calls them aunt or uncle would most certainly be quickly corrected and told to be respectful

5757

Interesting. While this is not my culture, I agree with it. I don't like the idea of my daughter growing up calling a family friend aunt or uncle. Seems a little strange to me. My best friend is a man and my daughter used to call him uncle, but now that she is getting older she is naturally stopping. She realizes he isn't actually her uncle.
I don't know. Seems kind of strange to me for that kid to be calling someone uncle when there is no blood relation.

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Zeraph

Only person I've ever called aunt or uncle that wasn't by blood was someone that our family was very close to, and he had no other family so in a sense we adopted him (though he was very old, older than my grandparents).

Oh, and as far as how I/we address them, it's usually their first name, or Uncle/Aunt _First name_, never by just aunt or uncle.