lindalove

Gross. Such idiocy in this world. Take your anger on the people you're angry at, not innocent people. Sigh.

smooth

ok, firstly Jesus says no one is innocent

but we still need to know these critical details before life can resume:

1) why (HOW?) do the customers know the taste of manure

2) why does his shit smell and taste like manure

3) are they going to give this man 20 YEARS for shit sprinkles?

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"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

flat5

No offence intended.

I hope this thread dies soon.

nightstuff

Stories like these really creep me out. The one where the angry teenage boy was caught masturbating on the danish had me freaked out for ages. Gahhh...its all i can do to keep it from turning into a complex.

Oh, and when I say "jesus, that tastes like baby shit," what I mean is that it tastes how baby shit smells, not that I have some secret affection for the green nasties. The process of smelling something involves inhaling small particles of the actual substance in question, which is nasty to think about sometimes, but just dont think too hard about it.

raeanna74

What could his employers done that pissed him off that much? The worst legal thing that I can imagine is firing a person otherwise he could have sued for whatever treatment he was subjected to. Likely he screwed up and couldn't handle getting a pink slip. Some people.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Glory's Sun

is it wrong that I laughed at this?

It's gross, but it sounds like something out of weird web comic or something

smooth

I'm pretty sure he was a customer, not an employee.
The article says he's a taxi driver...just think what he does to rude riders...


...have you taken a cab lately

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

Jinn

I can just imagine 15 or so Dallas people shouting "OH! I KNEW I was right when I said the new bread tasted like shit.."

What actually caught my attention was What about not needing to manifest your anger at all? Wouldn't that be the _even better_ solution?

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

raeanna74

Oops - you're right it says that store personel had supposedly mistreated him - not employers. Even still, what could they have done that warrented this kind of behavior? If they had soiled bakery that they'd given him he could have gotten authorities involved. Why do this? He displays a complete lack of intelligence and deserves the title STUPID.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

maleficent

My sympathy goes do the fact checker/copy editor at the newspaper who made sure the spelling of his n ame was correct.

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maleficent

I have to say it - He wasn't pissed off.. he was shitted off .. though god only knows what he put in the coffee

/me cracks herself up sometimes

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Charlatan

...and you call me sick?

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

smooth

Some of my best friends had this neighbor who would always call the cops whenever we were partying, hanging out on the porch, or drinking beers in the front yard while hanging out. Disturbances, etc. He was the stereotypical tweaker who would peer out of his curtains from time to time.

Over time, a feud developed between his friends and mine.

Then one day it came to a head, and he actually tried to run a couple friends over with his car in the alley. He managed to hit me. I vowed revenge as I threw a 40 bottle at his car's rear window as he drove off. I limped home and pulled a hefty bag from under my sink...I began to feed my 80lb black Lab extra portions...I collected her shit for two months in that bag...nice goopy turds...then one day, I put a yellow rain slicker on (that my uncle had given me, quite appropriately, he was the manager at the "shit plant" (waste water treatment center) and elbow length gloves...I took that hefty bag and I walked to where he parked his car on the street...I started to swing that hefty bag laying nice sized dents all over his shitty little car...then the bag split...and I literally coated his car with dog shit.

My friends called me later and said, when he went to work, there was a circle of shit around where the car had been parked, like a chalk line around a dead body.



Looking back, I would agree it was immature, but damn it's fucking funny and we still enjoy the story today...almost as much as the one where another friend got caught red-peckered, as it were, while he was pissing on the dude's front door at 3am and the a-hole actually opened it up to a stream of pee on his legs and carpet!


What does any of this have to do with the thread? Nothing, I just think those are hella funny stories.
OK, maybe someone should examine why young men feel the need to use fecal matter and/or urine to prove a point. I think it goes back to my original point: jesus said no one is innocent

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

guthmund

Oh...I'm getting a little queasy...

How mad do you have to be to take the time to.... take a shit, dry the shit, run the shit across a cheese grater, hide the shit in your pockets so you can flake the shit off on stuff without getting caught?

I've been very, very angry, but not once in that anger did I ever think to grind up my shit and spread the love. My maddest moment must pale in comparison to this guy's blazing inferno of hatred towards these folks.

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No signature. None. Seriously.

Soggybagel

Wow, this guy seriously has some time. The poo on the cheese grater...man this did crack me up though. I'm a bad human.

FatFreeGoodness

The part I find interesting:
Quoting the defense attorney: “The 49-year-old taxi driver was charged with two felony counts of tampering with consumer products. However, defense attorney Clark Birdsall told jurors that there was no way to prove that Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh's actions would have harmed anyone.

"It's OK to be angry at the defendant. I am. But you've got to follow the law," Birdsall said.”

Has this man not heard about all the awful things that likely happen to people who consume trace amounts of human waste? “E-coli” ring any bells? This is like saying “He fired live ammunition through the building, but you have to prove that it may have actually hurt someone.”
Or, maybe he has heard, but hopes the judge hasn’t? What is he thinking? Wouldn’t he be better off just keeping his mouth shut?

denim

He's a lawyer. He has to be able to say ridiculous things.

FatFreeGoodness

"He's a lawyer. He has to be able to say ridiculous things."

You know, that’s an excellent point. Perhaps he simply couldn't help himself.

But remember that line from Jurassic Park? “They were so busy worrying about whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should!”
If your client almost certainly caused people serious harm, you probably should not be pointing our that someone needs to prove that. You should be talking about other things entirely.



By the way, do you know how many lawyer jokes there are?
Two. All the rest are true stories.

World's King

People get off on the weirdiest shit...


Pun Intended.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

smooth

I'm not a biologist, but doesn't that only apply to wet poo?



oh yeah, you know, another shit story: my wife's retiring professor told the class one day, "I knew my marriage was over when my wife literally brought me a shit sandwich"

she reminds me of that story from time to time, and after a big argument, I always check my buns for stray poop....

__________________
"The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann

"You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

Bill O'Rights

"It's OK to be angry at the defendant. I am. But you've got to follow the law," Birdsall said.”
Or...maybe, just maybe mind you...this particular attorney has a [gasp]conscience, and has no real desire to win this particular case, and is trying to covertly "throw" the case?



nah
It all made sense...until that "conscience" part.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Philosopher

Maybe he was one of those lawyers that get given to poor people. He wouldn't have much incentive to try his best.

FatFreeGoodness

Smooth: "I'm not a biologist, but doesn't that only apply to wet poo?" (Reference to E Coli)

No, it can survive drying. Notice that you can get it from produce that was fertilized with human waste, or that was handled by people with cantaminated hands. (Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose. it's a poor attempt at a pun. Or maybe an attempt at a poor pun?



can. E coli from your can. Oh, never mind.

Blackthorn

In this case it would have certainly been better have been shat off and shat upon!

*sneaking in a poke from another thread*

Having said that...like dude...this ciabata smells like ass!


Yeeeeeeeeeeeecht.....what a story.

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What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

Blackthorn

Alright FatFree I'll give you a chuckle on that one...

__________________
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

Marvelous Marv

I guess I'm the only one who doesn't think it's funny.

Others might not if they or their family frequented that store.

I say lock Mr. Shitstain up for ten years. It's not like he won't decide someone else deserves the same treatment shortly after he's released.

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"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."
Margaret Thatcher

analog

So the question remains... the people who complained it smelled like shit... did they EAT it?? And those who complained it TASTED... why the hell would you eat something that smelled like shit and isn't supposed to?

I'd take one whiff, and bring it right back. No shitty food for me.

5757

I am really happy that I don't eat out much. Now I hope that all of my packaged Trader Joes food is clean.

I think the guy should get a nice long stay in jail to think about what he did. It was wrong. Disgusting. I want to punch him. I lived near a fast food joint where a couple people died from becoming sick due to Ecoli. The man is lucky he didn't cause any major harm.

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Hey! Wait! I've got a new complaint, Forever in debt to ((your)) priceless advice. - Nirvana

MSD

Throw him in jail until he finishes every last crumb of food, complete with toppings, from that salad bar. No medical treatment until he gets out

Zeraph

"And would you like shredded fecal matter with that today sir?"
"...What?"
"Uh No, Nothing..."

I just imagined a monty python scetch when I read that.

But ya that's really gross, I can't imagine how you wouldn't notice enough to still eat it.

Aro23

guess you can never make everyone happy but this cracks me up lol

feelgood

A lawyer with a conscience? Naw...you're yankin my chain aren't ya?

......Right?

__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

barenakedladies

Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh's


naga...naga...not gonna work here anymore... thats for sure