frogza

Being on time has always been important to me. I see it as a matter of respect for other peoples time. I hate the thought of someone spending time waiting on me that they could put to better use in achieving whatever goals they may have.

If I tell someone that I will be somewhere at a certain time, there are very few things that will keep me from arriving on time, they all involve hospitals or morgues. To make sure that I am on time I will always plan on arriving early, usually 10-15 minutes ahead of time. Since I put so much effort into showing respect for other peoples time, it annoys me a great deal when others show up late for appointments with me. I think that this trait is one of the reasons I thrive in the publishing industry, deadlines are perfect for me.

My family has an opposite view. For them, on time means that you show up within 1 hour of when you said you'd show up.

Since I've lived in several places in the US and South America I have come to the conclusion that the way people regard punctuality varies a great deal by where they live and by what they do for a living.

So the question is: How important is being on time to you? Why do you feel that way? How does you family view punctuality?

Gilda

You nailed it with your first paragraph. Being on time is a way of showing the other person respect. Chronic tardiness is rude.

Gilda

__________________
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ratbastid

It's more than just rudeness to me.

ALL you have is your word. If I want to have say over how my life goes, then I'd better have some faith that my word is worth someting. So then, if I say I'll be somewhere at a certain time and I'm not there at that time, my word is suddenly worthless. If I'm even one minute late, suddenly my ability to have things go the way I say is diminished. I'm not a bad person, I just don't treat my word with honor. And the more I dishonor my word, the less power I have in life.

The_Jazz

Chronic tardiness is really a cultural phenomenon. When I'm in the US, I'm much more aware of it, but when I am in Russia (or even here talking to Russian immigrants) I don't really notice it. For business, I always try to be on time, but there are lots of times where meetings run long or traffic is worse than I anticipated and things run late. That's why I always give a range for any appointment where I'm visiting someone.

My family is across the board. My dad and I are both very much on-time, scheduled guys. My mother and brother see schedules/punctuality as something to take under advisement.

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ShaniFaye

I have to say Im just like you frogza....my mother was one of those that got me late to wherever I needed to be ALL the time...the saying "she will be late for her own funeral" was one used widely in our house lol

Im early every where I go, unless dire circumstances prevented it...I went to a party last weekend and it irked me to no end that I had to make an unscheduled stop on the way (some how the hood on my car had gotten unlatched and we had to get off the interstate to latch it back) and it made me get there 5 minutes after the start time of the party and just threw me ALL out of wack.

Im just as bad if someone says they are going to call me....you'd better friggin call when you said you would or be bleeding profusely somewhere if you dont want to incur my silent wrath lol (Yes RB I'm still ticked at you for your last forgotten phonecall lol)

Its just plain rude to be late anywhere

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Bill O'Rights

Ooooo...so much for his...word. Busted!

I make every effort of moving heaven and earth to be on time. I know that I value my own, why should I be any less respectful of someone elses?

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ratbastid

Oh, good god, I never claimed to be perfect at keeping my word! Or even very good at it! I totally blew it calling Shani last time I was in Atlanta.

There's a big difference between theory and application!

feelgood

Yeah, I have a serious problem with punctuality, I keep showing up to work half hour too early.

I do that because when I was younger, I was ALWAYS late for anything, ranging from appointments to classes to work, etc

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ShaniFaye

Well in his defense....RB has always been where he said he would be when he said he would be there lol IM the one that threw in the phone call thing (he didnt mention that in HIS post lol) Im quite sure he WAS in atlanta that weekend....he just kinda forgot we made semi plans lol

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Meditrina

I hate to be late for anything. I also think it is rude if someone is expecting you at a certain time and you arrive late, without even a phone call. I am grateful for my cell phone in that regard. I call whoever it is, if I have encountered an unforeseen problem that in turn makes me run late. And it bothers me if someone does not have the same respect when I am expecting them at a certain time.

edited to add: I was brought up in a family that was early or on time to everything. I think it is just in my blood.

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snowy

I like to be on time for everything. My boyfriend sometimes does not understand this, especially in relation to parties. He has this attitude that it's okay to be late. But I am usually the person who wants to help the host/hostess, so we're usually there early.

The only thing I'm occasionally late for is work, and even then I'm not actually late--I'm supposed to be at work by 8am, but like to give myself 15 minutes to get prepared for the day, and sometimes I only give myself 10. But I do look forward to this fall, when my first class is at 9am and only two days a week. After getting up at 7am all summer for work making it to a 9am class will be cake.

Recently I had to make a six-hour drive to Washington to visit family. It irked me that we got going late and weren't going to be there early like I had planned. I managed to make up time (no traffic, 70 mph speed limit) but it still annoyed me that I was 15 minutes past my scheduled arrival time.

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Willravel

I'm on time. Other people aren't. I cry a lot.

Destrox

I make it a personal quest to never be late to anything, and to be there a good 15 minutes ahead of time.

To me it is purely Responsibility & Respect.

That includes that anyone who arrives late to an event that I am hosting or an appointment I have with them I take it personally. If you cannot show up on time when you stated or were told to, it's a loss on your part. I'll look down upon you and take it as disrespect towards me.

The same goes for anyone I work with, I've known people who always show up late on a consistant basis. There is no reason for this at all, it just burns more bad marks into your personal profile.


Its a lack of responsibility to be late, period.

(Note: there are outside influnces that can cause you to be late here and there, this is a given, but not a daily occurance.)

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feelgood

On the other hand, for those people that shows up too early (like 30 mins prior) what does that imply for the person?

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

Daniel_

I do my best to be on time.

I call if I'll be late.

I get cross if I'm held up by traffic etc.

__________________

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And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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Sage

It always drove me CRAZY that my mom was never on time for ANYTHING- she had a very laid back attitude towards getting some where. It wasn't that she was irresponsible, just... well, she never saw the need to hurry. I don't think that not being on time is entirely bad... per se... just... well depending on why you're late makes a difference.

If I'm going to be more than two minutes late I call. If I do get there late I tell people why I'm late. I am definitely the person to get somewhere 15-30 minutes early, and moreso I really really don't like it when I get somewhere early (like to an appointment) only to have the appointment start late. If I show up for a job interview at 2pm, I damn well better be shaking your hand at 2pm on the dot or my opnion of your company goes down (unless I have someone tell me why I'm not shaking your hand at 2pm).

__________________

fresnelly

I would have posted sooner, but you know how it is.


Seriously though, the fear of being late is one of the real stressers in my life. It's really the least I can do. Being late for a couple of crucial moments growing up, has absolutely driven home the ramifications of letting someone down this way.

Being "Fashionably Late" is always a challenge for me. Now that I think of it, this is a rare example of tardiness being beneficial. As long as it's not excessive and the event is informal, it allows a grace period for the host to get the final details in order.

I am curious about cultural attitudes towards punctuality and time in general though. What are the roots behind politically incorrect expressions such as "Indian time", "Island time" or even "B.C. Time". I understand the derogatory use of such expressions, but surely there are cultures where punctuality for the sake of others is not sancrosanct.

Put another way:

In America, the Customer is "always right.". Yet this is not so in other parts of the world - France, for example. How would a similar cultural difference around time management come to be?

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Toaster126

You forgot colored people time.

I think tardiness is disrespectful, but occasionally unavoidable unless you get ready too early. A phone call fixes everything in my book.

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Charlatan

Isn't that Jamaican time? I don't think it's a Unviversal people of colour thing...


I like to be on time. I agree with the "respect" angle on this. However, unlike onesnowyowl, I don't think one should show up on time for a party. There is a rule (and I am sure it's written) that you never show up exactly on time for a party. If it is a dinner party, a half hour later than the requested time is on time. If it is a party party (i.e. many people in attendence) then you can be up to an hour, or more, late.

Showing up "on time" for a party guarantees you will piss off your host because inevitably they will still be preparing for your arrival (i.e. showering, changing, etc.). Any additional kitchen prep that a guest might want to help with can wait 30 minutes for your arrival.

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ShaniFaye

sorry to argue...but if Im throwing a party and I say it starts at 7...I was ready for people to arrive by 630...if you're after 7 getting there...you're late and Im not happy

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Willravel

I agree in the case that the person doesn't call and say he or she will be late. I'm cool with people explaining their tardiness (life can have unexpected turns now and again). I'm not cool if you have a cell phone 2 feet away from you and you know you're going to be so late that you'll inconvenience other people and don't call.

Sugarmouse

for me its very important to be on time,and i judge people by their punctuality.people plan their own time around appointments,time thats precious!and I have had times where someoen being an hour late and not letting me know can affect so many other things in my day..as in me havin to re schedule myself!

I do recognise that its sometimes impossible due to outside factors,to be on time and in this case I think every effort should be made to let the party concerned know you will be late.

__________________
Sugarmouse=Festered

laconic1

I can't stand being late. For me on time is five minutes early. My dad is pretty laid back about timeliness and it annoys me to no end. If I'm stuck in traffic and its making me late I scream and yell and cuss in my car to no end, because I just hate being late. I don't mind being stuck in traffic if I have plenty of time to get where I'm going. The other day I ordered pizza and it was delivered seven minutes after the estimated time. I was getting very irritated by the time the delivery guy showed. I don't think of it as a rudeness issue, just a personal annoyance.

cyrnel

As an employer I've found punctuality to be a great indicator of a person's level of respect, for themselves and others, and whether they can be relied upon to follow through on commitments.

Now, party rules vary by function size and the host. For me big parties have slack but intimate gatherings need punctuality. If you're late, communicate or risk having a new time zone named after you.

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roachboy

unless you are told otherwise (and folk do say this sort of thing and that is fine) it seems to me impossible to be late for a big party.
but this depends on the social circles you hang out in.
most of my friends are of the late appearance school.
i am too.


other occasions have other rules, and it is usually better to follow them.
these thing often matter to other folk, even if they dont particularly to me, and it is, like others have said, a respect issue.

academic functions are quite different, and there the rules are pretty strictly adhered to. and i am a bit fuzzy about punctuality in my classes.
i am clear about this, and it is a kind of ground rule.

myself, i have no particular committment to punctuality. it is simply something that i usually manage to accomidate, despite my indifference to the matter. because i dont really care about it, i dont judge others by whether they are or not. consistency seems more important--if you are always late, be always late. that way, i know to lie to you about when things start.

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spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

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Lady Sage

I realize that on occasion life happens and youre gonna be late. A phone call is appreciated unless of course youre unconscious or some such in which case you are forgiven.

shesus

I agree that being late, especially without a phone call is rude. However, living in Chicago has lightened me up a bit. With public transportation, it is inevitable to be late and it's out of your control. But that just means I try to leave extra early. Then if I get there too early I just walk around and kill time. But sometimes, late happens and cell phones are great for those situations. Or crazy running around like I did last night when I had to wait 20 minutes for the bus and got home at 6:15 which is when we were supposed to meet Mal. I ran in said quick hellos to jj and spec and threw on the first set of clothes I saw and ran out the door with them at 6:20.

There are some situations where being a little bit late is ok, but if it's an appointment or a movie..something that is timed for a specific time, then being late is unacceptable. I had a candidate today. He called at 11 and said he'd be a bit late for his 12:00 interview. I told him to get there as soon as he could because I had another person coming in at 1:00. He called at 12:30 stuck in traffic. I told him to forget the interview and call me when he could take the job search more seriously and get here on time. That might have been harsh, but if people can't be on time for an interview, then most likely they aren't good candidates. Then my 1:00 stood me up. Luckily, I had an awesome walk-in candidate. I sent her to 2 clients today. Always look on the bright side I guess.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Gilda

I had to post quick and take care of supper, so to be a little bit more clear:

Being on time can have various meanings, and not all of them are equal in importance.

For work/school (which are the same thing for me), "on time" to me means ready to begin.

When I taught middle school, I interpreted "on time" as meaning in the room when the bell began to ring. I held myself to the same standard. I had other incentives, like a two minute quiz at the bell, and privileges earned for no tardies and no absenses.

For my university classes, I'm basically the same way. I do what I can to be on time every day, and I expect my students to be the same. I've had some complaints that I'm not treating my students like adults, which is ridiculous. I'm doing the opposite--I'm expecting them to act like responsible adults and be on time, every class period, to the class to which they committed their time. Some professors I know of cruise in sometime in the first five minutes of class and chit chat for a couple of minute while they get prepared, in part to account for those students who are routinely a few minutes late. I strongly dislike this. I think it's teaching students the wrong lesson, that they can expect others to accommodate their lack of good planning.

I hate faculty meetings and local conferences. I've worked at enough schools to see the same pattern again and again. At most schools, many teachers are chronically late, administrators routinely start meetings five or ten minutes after the designated time to account for this, and the teachers have had a bad tendancy to chat after the meeting had begun or during presentations. Local conferences run by the school district were hideously awful. If it began at 8:00, that's when people would begin drifting in. There was even "mingling and refreshment" time built in to the beginning of each of these meetings. Drove me crazy, but, it was explained to me as if I were a small, slow child, that it was just adjusting to the reality of the situation that teachers tend to show up over a period of time and want to talk with friends and colleagues they hadn't seen in awhile.

I get that*, but I think it's the wrong attitude to take. Teachers cruise in late, spend fifteen minutes snacking and talking because it's built in, because they expect it. If you run your training sessions/meetings by starting them consistently on time, people would get the point that they're actually expected to act like professionals and start work when work starts.

I had a principal about three years back, unfortunately for just two years, who did not allow this to happen. When there was a staff meeting at 7:30, the staff meeting started when the second hand hit the zero on the clock at 7:30. He'd start talking at that second, and if someone came in late, the group would get a reminder of the time, and those who were on time would get a thank you. Anybody skipping, as some long-time veterans did, would get called in individually to explain why.

I loved it. Expect them to act like professionals, and demonstrate this by holding them accountable for professional behavior.

In personal meetups, it depends on how things are worded. Some agreements have a firmer deadline than others.

If you make an appointment at a specific time, you need to be there by that time at the absolute latest. A few minutes early isn't a problem, but a few minutes late can be. Sissy knows that if we're meeting her and her boyfriend to see a movie together, if they aren't there at the appointed time, we're going in and getting our seats and they're going to have to come find us. I am not missing the beginning of the movie due to someone else's tardiness.

Other appointments are more fluid. Dr. KGB brought her kids over last Saturday for us to babysit while she and hubby took a few hours of time for themselves. The told us they'd be there "between nine and ten. There was no need for a specific time given that there were no deadlines involved, and we were at home, so it's not like we were wasting time waiting, so a fluid appointment time was appropriate. I would have expected, however, that she'd have called if they were going to be after 10:00, which she would have given that she's as much of a hardass concerning tardiness in her classes as I am in mine.

At least one party I went to last year worked the opposite. It was a formal dress dinner party, and the invitations said 6:00. I insisted on being on time, and we were the second couple to arrive, the other couple being close friends of the host and hostess and were helping set up. Most people trickled in between 6:15 and 6:30, and the actual party didn't start until 6:45. Apparently, as it was explained to me later, this is how it's supposed to work. They don't expect anyone to be there at the posted time, and they want people trickling in one or two at a time because it makes it easier to meet and greet than with everyone in a close span of time.

In general:

If there is a specific appointment time, I'm going to try my best to arrive within the five minutes prior to the actual time, and expect that others will be there by the appointed time at the latest.

If there is a range, I shoot for the first five minutes of the specified range, and do not want to be there after the midpoint. I expect everyone to be there by the end of the range at the latest.

If I agree to a specific time, and then do not honor that agreement, I'm not being honest with the other person, which is both rude and disrespectful. Sure, unexpected delays happen on occasion, but being habitually late is a choice, one that is on some level dishonest.

Gilda

*I mean that I understand that they want to do this, not why. I've never been one to see socializing as an important aspect of an education conference or training session.

__________________
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Jinn

Of all the things I could give a fuck about, someone's punctuality isn't one of them. I'd like to think that everyone felt that way, but some people are more inane and pedantic than others.

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abaya

Meh, I don't know why people get their panties into such a bunch about punctuality. There are some things I've always said I would NEVER be late for:

1) Crew (when I did rowing; 5am sharp, every day, all year, 4 years)
2) Work (unless I accidentally slept in, which very rarely happened)
3) School papers/presentations (unless there was a dire emergency and I had to ask for an extension, but again that is a rarety)
4) Church (when I used to go)
5) One-on-one meetings (e.g. coffee with a friend)
6) Medical appointments
7) My own wedding (yes, that was actually something that's been in my head for a long time... that's one event I will NOT procrastinate on, or be late to)

On the other hand, things I am willing to be 5-30+ mins late on:
1) Social occasions with more than one person
2) Classes (I try to avoid it, but it does happen)
3) Going to bed
4) Going anywhere when I'm having sex

When other people are late, I take a little chill pill and don't let it bother me. If they are REALLY late (as in, 30-60+ mins), then I start to get irritated, but forgive them if they call to let me know what's going on. What PISSES ME OFF is when someone is late, and then calls (or doesn't call!) to fricking CANCEL the whole thing. That really drives me nuts. I set aside a time for you, gave you grace when you were late, and now you cancel on me? Total flakedom. No mercy.

__________________
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for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

shesus

I think that if you tell someone you will be there at a certain time and there are plans to do something being late is rude. Unless the other person notoriously runs late too. Then it would even out. However, I don't like getting ready and then sitting around feeling like I can't do anything else because they could be here anytime since they're already late. It seems disrespectful to me.

Now, not everyone feel this way. There are many different personalities. That's mine. I don't think I should have to change to please others and I'm not expecting people that are late to change either. But at least call and respect me enough to tell me that you are running late. Then once I realize that you're going to always be late, I'll know to expect you at least 30-45 minutes after you tell me. At least, that's what I've done with friends in the past.

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Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Demeter

I despise being late, and I cannot tolerate those who make me wait. Being late is more than disrespectful & inconsiderate, it's selfish.

__________________

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Nizzle

Eh? Like.. a party? I make a point of being late to those, preferably by hours.

I'm surprised so many people are so uptight about this. I mean if you are talking about a 1 on 1 engagement, particularly business-releated, yeah, being stood up or kept waiting for an absurdly long time isn't good. And again, along business lines, some key person that doesn't show up for a meeting on time, thus causing everyone (who likely don't want to be there anyway) to waste time is bad.

But speaking purely socially, you expect everyone to show up 15 minutes early to everything? Well if both people had the same sense of "responsibility" (I really use that term loosely, I'd say that borders more on compulsiveness) they'd both get there way too early, why not just set the time earlier. :P It's not like it bothers me if I show up and, god forbid, have to wait 5 minutes. Dunno if I'd want to meet with someone who were judging my personal character if that role were reversed. I'm personally comfortable enough with myself to spend a few minutes not being entertained by another person. /shrug

__________________
Nizzle

maleficent

When I've conducted training classes.. Class starts at XX time... door gets closed and locked at that time.. someone is late -they can reschedule... why is it ok for you to be late and inconveneince the rest of the people in the class who were considerate enough to get there on time...

Meetings drive me insane when people are late... one persons time is no more valuable than the another's... meeting starts at a specific time... show up on time..

Being late is a bad habit... no matter what excuse you think you might have - it's a bad habit...

__________________

kurty[B]

If I'm going to a party, or similar social event that involves drinking I force myself to show up late, because if it's me and whoever's hosting the party and no one else we'll start doing shots and be shitfaced by the time anyone shows up. I show respect by showing up late, and catching up with the crowd.

abaya

If someone locked the door when I was late, I would certainly understand and simply turn around and find something else to do. Remember that when I did crew, we had to jump into ice-cold water at 5am if we were even 1 minute late... so I know how to react to penalties for being late.

But If the door is not locked, I come in as quietly as possible (the door hardly clicks, I have it down to an art), sit in the back, and pay attention studiously after that. Usually it is no more than 5 minutes at most... more than that and I often decide to skip the event entirely.

Everyone has a right to enforce their own sense of "lateness," certainly. The fact is, though, that in many of the classes I attend are taught by professors who are late to just about everything, often to their own classes. When I teach, I am sometimes a minute or two late as well, and as a result I choose not to be harsh on others who are late. (I may be tardy at times, but I won't be a hypocrite on top of that.) Now, if someone shows up 20-30 minutes late for a class, they get a major frown from me and I note that they have showed up that late (usually they are pretty chronic, and their grades are low anyway).

I'm not proud of being late, but I try to be on time most of the time and if I mess up, I mess up. And I move on. Being late is simply a reality that most people have to deal with. I can either let it stress me out, or let go and do my best and forgive others when they're trying hard to be on time.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Toaster126

I've never heard it that way.

And in this instance, color means black, not anything darker than white people.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

analog

Hey, sorry I'm just now getting to this thread... I meant to post sooner, but I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn't my fault!! I swear to God!!!!