There once was a man from Nantucket... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Panopticon · 03-03-2004, 05:20 PM

I've heard the beginning to this one a thousand times...anybody know the rest of it?

I tried looking up on Yahoo, but I couldn't find anything...

KellyC · 03-03-2004, 05:23 PM

*Kelly stares at Panopticon's avatar* (mind go blank)

DEI37 · 03-03-2004, 07:16 PM

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it.

ritzboi · 03-03-2004, 07:25 PM

have a kid from middle school saying that on tape, heh

clavus · 03-03-2004, 07:47 PM

Also...

There once was a Greek from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He looked in the glass
got a peek at his ass
and broke his neck trying to fuck it.

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 03-03-2004, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clavus
Also...

There once was a Greek from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He looked in the glass
got a peek at his ass
and broke his neck trying to fuck it.

I've heard lots of limericks before but this is a new one on me!!

Glad

Slacks_01 · 03-04-2004, 12:02 AM

they're pretty humorous

Mantus · 03-04-2004, 09:40 AM

*snaps back to consciousness an hour later*

fuck man, that avatar should come with a warning.

aarchaon · 03-19-2004, 04:03 AM

These limericks are gross but funny.

unoaman · 08-13-2004, 10:29 AM

Well, I gotta get in on this...love limericks!

Not gross, but kinda cute:

"There was a young lady called Jo
Liked sex on a sleigh in the snow
The colder - the better
Twould make her much wetter
And her nipples would stand up and glow"

thanks to "Limerick portraits"

DDDDave · 08-13-2004, 12:14 PM

There once was a man from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
It caused him no trouble
He stuck it in double
And instead of coming he went

unoaman · 08-13-2004, 04:09 PM

There was a young fella named Joe
Who thought he would visit a ho
When he asked "how much?"
She said we'll go dutch
But you better have mo than fo.

xeem · 08-13-2004, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ritzboi
have a kid from middle school saying that on tape, heh

Haha, where can I get it?

hotzot · 08-14-2004, 06:07 AM

there once was a guy named Dave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
She smelt like shit,
and was missing a tit
But think of the money he saved!

unoaman · 08-14-2004, 10:41 AM

There once was a guy named hotzot
Who said as he sat on a cold pot
If my balls hit the drink
My pecker will shrink
And I can't afford less than I got.

::::::::::::

No offense hotzot, that'n just came to me outta the blue...

Beagle · 08-14-2004, 02:17 PM

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who was quite low in sexual feeling
When a young prince named Norris
Came and touched her clitoris
She had to be scraped off the ceiling

unoaman · 08-14-2004, 03:14 PM

There was a young man named Beagle
Whose age was less than legal
When buying a beer
He always did fear
That he should have ordered it from Spiegel...

Acetylene · 08-16-2004, 11:33 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who promised his dog he would fuck it.
But the dog, just in time,
Said, "If you don't mind,
I'd rather a Chicken McNugget."

NoSoup · 08-16-2004, 11:38 PM

There once was a man in Bell-Air
Who was fucking his wife on the stair
The Banister broke
In the midst of his stroke
and he finished off in midair

chewybaca96 · 08-17-2004, 06:21 AM

Old mother Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
but when she bent over
Ol' Rover came over
and gave her a bone of his own

Beatlefan58 · 08-19-2004, 07:43 PM

There was a young girl named Alice
Who used dynamite as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas.

Ripp3r · 08-20-2004, 02:23 AM

The once was man from Sheen
who invented a wanking machine
on the 21st stroke
the fucking thing broke
and whipped his bollocks to cream

xeem · 08-20-2004, 03:49 AM

Hahahah nice one Ripp3r

StormBerlin · 08-22-2004, 10:42 AM

lol, nice....

unoaman · 08-22-2004, 04:26 PM

There was a young man named Ripp3r
Who thought as he sped away in his car
My bullocks are cream
But I just can't dream
What I'm going to tell my doctar...

reaching...

denim · 08-24-2004, 02:43 PM

This is not mine:

The babe, with a cry brief and dismal,
fell into the water baptismal.
Ere they'd gather'd its plight,
It had sunk out of sight,
For the depth of the font was abysmal.

Same source:

The partition of Vavasour Scowles
Was a sickener. They came on his bowels
in a firkin. His brain
was found clogging a drain.
And his toes were inside of some towels.

But wait, there's MORE!!! Good thing I'm not home where the source is.

cheese · 08-25-2004, 03:40 PM

there once was a man from peru
who took a trip in his canoe
feel asleep dreaming of venus
grabbed ahold of his penis
and woke up with a handfull of goo

watcherz · 09-01-2004, 12:55 PM

There Once was a nice man named sweeny ,
Who's wife was a terrible meanie.
the latch on her snatch ,had a terrible catch
and she could only be fucked by houdini!!

triad · 09-01-2004, 05:21 PM

Man from Sparta - sorry for the bad spelling

There once was a man from Sparta
Who was a phenomoinal farta
he could fart anything
from god save the king
to beatoveen's moonlight sonata

one time he was dared to perfrom
the william tell overture storm
noone could dishearten
that fart-happy spartan
'cuz his fart was in perfect form

Though some thought he couldn't do it
they didn't worry him a bit
with his legs spread apart
he proceeded to fart
and collapsed in a shower of shit

thats by far my favorite lymrick

SirLance · 09-01-2004, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDDDave

There once was a man from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
It caused him no trouble
He stuck it in double
And instead of coming he went

I'm sharing this with my girlfriend...

All are funny! Thanks!

japhyryder · 09-02-2004, 12:52 PM

traid that was awesome thanks for the laughs all

watcherz · 09-02-2004, 03:01 PM

There once was a man from Nantucket
who took a pig in a thicket to fuck it
the pig said you queer ,get away from my rear
and come around to the front and I'll suck it

izzzzy · 09-05-2004, 03:42 AM

there once was a lass from decator, who was had by an old alligator, but nobody knew how she relished that screw, for after he made her he ate her.

ElwoodBlues · 09-05-2004, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEI37

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it.

I was at work the other day, and a customer came in with a t-shirt that said

"There once was a man from Nantucket" on the front. As he walked away I saw the back of his shirt said

"I AM the man from Nantucket. Immediately I thought of this thread.

03-03-2004, 05:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Panopticon Psycho	There once was a man from Nantucket... I've heard the beginning to this one a thousand times...anybody know the rest of it? I tried looking up on Yahoo, but I couldn't find anything... __________________ .:Panopticon:.

03-03-2004, 05:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	Kelly stares at Panopticon's avatar (mind go blank) __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

03-03-2004, 07:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

03-03-2004, 07:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	Also... There once was a Greek from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it He looked in the glass got a peek at his ass and broke his neck trying to fuck it. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

03-19-2004, 04:03 AM	#9 (permalink)
aarchaon Insane	These limericks are gross but funny. __________________ Green. Yellow. Blue.

03-03-2004, 07:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
ritzboi Upright	have a kid from middle school saying that on tape, heh

03-04-2004, 12:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
Slacks_01 Tilted	they're pretty humorous

03-04-2004, 09:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	snaps back to consciousness an hour later fuck man, that avatar should come with a warning.

08-13-2004, 10:29 AM	#10 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	Well, I gotta get in on this...love limericks! Not gross, but kinda cute: "There was a young lady called Jo Liked sex on a sleigh in the snow The colder - the better Twould make her much wetter And her nipples would stand up and glow" thanks to "Limerick portraits"

08-13-2004, 12:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
DDDDave Addict Location: Sarasota	There once was a man from Kent Whose tool was exceedingly bent It caused him no trouble He stuck it in double And instead of coming he went __________________ I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe... "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

08-13-2004, 04:09 PM	#12 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	There was a young fella named Joe Who thought he would visit a ho When he asked "how much?" She said we'll go dutch But you better have mo than fo.

08-14-2004, 06:07 AM	#14 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	there once was a guy named Dave who kept a dead whore in a cave She smelt like shit, and was missing a tit But think of the money he saved! __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

08-14-2004, 10:41 AM	#15 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	There once was a guy named hotzot Who said as he sat on a cold pot If my balls hit the drink My pecker will shrink And I can't afford less than I got. :::::::::::: No offense hotzot, that'n just came to me outta the blue...

08-14-2004, 02:17 PM	#16 (permalink)
Beagle Upright Location: North of 49	There was a young lady from Wheeling Who was quite low in sexual feeling When a young prince named Norris Came and touched her clitoris She had to be scraped off the ceiling

08-14-2004, 03:14 PM	#17 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	There was a young man named Beagle Whose age was less than legal When buying a beer He always did fear That he should have ordered it from Spiegel...

08-20-2004, 03:49 AM	#23 (permalink)
xeem Banned Location: On a couch before a screen	Hahahah nice one Ripp3r

08-22-2004, 10:42 AM	#24 (permalink)
StormBerlin Happy as a hippo Location: Southern California	lol, nice.... __________________ "if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

08-16-2004, 11:33 AM	#18 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	There once was a man from Nantucket, Who promised his dog he would fuck it. But the dog, just in time, Said, "If you don't mind, I'd rather a Chicken McNugget." __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.

08-16-2004, 11:38 PM	#19 (permalink)
NoSoup Non-Rookie Location: Green Bay, WI	There once was a man in Bell-Air Who was fucking his wife on the stair The Banister broke In the midst of his stroke and he finished off in midair __________________ I have an aura of reliability and good judgement. Just in case you were wondering...

08-17-2004, 06:21 AM	#20 (permalink)
chewybaca96 We can't stop here! This is bat country! Location: SL,UT	Old mother Hubbard Old mother Hubbard Went to her cupboard to get her poor dog a bone but when she bent over Ol' Rover came over and gave her a bone of his own __________________ Brian: “Ok, all we’ve gotta do is find the American Embassy, and they’ll help us get home” Stewie: “Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog… Oh, you’re right here aren’t you? Oh well, I stand by it."

08-19-2004, 07:43 PM	#21 (permalink)
Beatlefan58 Banned	There was a young girl named Alice Who used dynamite as a phallus They found her vagina In North Carolina And part of her anus in Dallas.

08-20-2004, 02:23 AM	#22 (permalink)
Ripp3r Tilted Location: Dublin, Ireland	The once was man from Sheen who invented a wanking machine on the 21st stroke the fucking thing broke and whipped his bollocks to cream __________________ We All Have Questions What Seperates The Men From The Boys Is The Ability To Use Google To Find Our Answers

08-22-2004, 04:26 PM	#25 (permalink)
unoaman Loser Location: Scenic Drive	There was a young man named Ripp3r Who thought as he sped away in his car My bullocks are cream But I just can't dream What I'm going to tell my doctar... reaching...

08-24-2004, 02:43 PM	#26 (permalink)
denim Banned Location: Massachusetts, USA	This is not mine: The babe, with a cry brief and dismal, fell into the water baptismal. Ere they'd gather'd its plight, It had sunk out of sight, For the depth of the font was abysmal. Same source: The partition of Vavasour Scowles Was a sickener. They came on his bowels in a firkin. His brain was found clogging a drain. And his toes were inside of some towels. But wait, there's MORE!!! Good thing I'm not home where the source is.

08-25-2004, 03:40 PM	#27 (permalink)
cheese Psycho Location: In your bath tub with all your other rubber toys	there once was a man from peru who took a trip in his canoe feel asleep dreaming of venus grabbed ahold of his penis and woke up with a handfull of goo

09-01-2004, 12:55 PM	#28 (permalink)
watcherz Upright	There Once was a nice man named sweeny , Who's wife was a terrible meanie. the latch on her snatch ,had a terrible catch and she could only be fucked by houdini!!

09-01-2004, 05:21 PM	#29 (permalink)
triad Tilted	Man from Sparta - sorry for the bad spelling There once was a man from Sparta Who was a phenomoinal farta he could fart anything from god save the king to beatoveen's moonlight sonata one time he was dared to perfrom the william tell overture storm noone could dishearten that fart-happy spartan 'cuz his fart was in perfect form Though some thought he couldn't do it they didn't worry him a bit with his legs spread apart he proceeded to fart and collapsed in a shower of shit thats by far my favorite lymrick

09-02-2004, 12:52 PM	#31 (permalink)
japhyryder no one special Location: Charlotte, NC	traid that was awesome thanks for the laughs all __________________ It's only entertainment, someone's sick idea of a joke.

09-02-2004, 03:01 PM	#32 (permalink)
watcherz Upright	There once was a man from Nantucket who took a pig in a thicket to fuck it the pig said you queer ,get away from my rear and come around to the front and I'll suck it __________________ Don't run, You'll only die tired!!

09-05-2004, 03:42 AM	#33 (permalink)
izzzzy Crazy Location: SW NEW HAMPSHIRE	there once was a lass from decator, who was had by an old alligator, but nobody knew how she relished that screw, for after he made her he ate her.