Digilogic

So I have a new girlfriend and much to my surprise I am her first lover. She has never done anything sexual with anyone before me. My question is what are some ways to broaden her horizons so to speak. She doesn't know how to give a blowjob and she feels embarrassed that she isn't good at it. It also seems like she thinks some things are weird or dirty. She loves what I do for her and really wants to please me I just don't know how to go about it without feeling like I am making it all about me.

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"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Pablo Picasso

TM875

Man, the only advice that can be given is to do everything to make her feel comfortable. Let her learn from you - that will benifit the both of you eminsely. Allow her to make mistakes (except for teeth...not acceptable) and just learn the essential techniques. If anything, it gives you the "mentor" posistion, which makes an even stronger connection between you two.

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"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

relic

Patience... she'll warm up to things slowly as your relationship progresses, and she begins to trust you.

Ask her what she wants, what her fantasies are, what gets her going, and don't take generic answers. There's always something that they might feel embarrased about, but given enough time, it'll come through, and you'll unleash the nympho.

kangaeru

Relic that was fucking beautiful.

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Daniel_

So she WON'T want anal and deep throat straight from the get go?

NOW you tell us......

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shesus

Digilogic, My advice is to be gentle and nice. My first lover (if you could call him that) was horrible and turned me off to many things that I love today. Avoid the phrases:
"You're ruining my rhythm" "Stop moving that way" "I can never get off when you're on top so let's not do that anymore." etc. and yes, he told me these things. Come to find out he was the bad one in bed because I've never had a problem since. Tell her what feels good and what you enjoy instead of focusing on the negative. As relic said, ask her about her fantasies and desires. Also, do not force her is she thinks something is gross. She shouldn't knock it until she tries it, but if you force her she will not like it and you may lose out on some pleasure. My advice is to get some wine and candles. Wine lowers inhibitions and candlelight is just sexy. I'm not condoning taking advantage of her, but it may make her more adventurous on her own. Good luck!

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abaya

Relax, have fun, take things slowly, have fun, never say anything remotely negative (unless something hurts, but just yelp "ouch!" and she'll get the idea, I hope), have fun... you get the idea. Constant communication is absolutely necessary for having fun... that way you always both know where you stand, and what works or doesn't work. If she's uncomfortable with something, don't do it. Let her decide the pace, for the most part. If she feels completely at ease with you, the adventurousness will come on its own... so don't rush it. And don't be afraid to laugh (not at her, though)!! People take sex too seriously sometimes.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
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zanda

Everyone above has already given the obvious answers but not the most obvious..

Practise makes perfect

Goodluck and be gentle and understanding and you can't go wrong.

Misz

Haaahahahaa Cracked me up man that was great

crvtec

I have been with two very different virgins in my younger days.

One was just fearless and once she had sex with me she was like a learning computer and used me as a teacher/tool for sexual things.

The other like you're girl was very scared/shy/good family etc etc. With her I made time for sex and took my time with her. Meaning no qiuckies, blow jobs, anal etc etc. You will have to work to some of these things. Teacher her and be patient. There were sometimes I didn't have a orgasm or I finished myself off with her watching.

To tell you the truth she became one of the best girls I have been with. I also became close to her.

micah67

My first girlfriend and I were in the same boat. The experimenting worked out naturally as we started keeping a couple of fun lists: 1) locations 2) things

The locations list doesn't need to be exhibition-like locations like the middle of a theater (done it) but rooms of the house, stairwells, top of the refrigerator, etc. It kept us both on the look-out for new and exciting things to do. And creative ways to do it. (The top-of-the-refigerator took a ladder and it wasn't at all satisfying but we had loads of fun TRYING!)

The "things" list was also became very creative - pudding, handcuffs, cream, fruit, popsicles, scarves. Avoid toothpaste. It was neat seeing the sudden gleam in her eye when we'd go shopping. It becomes a challenge and will help unleash the demon within.

Have fun!

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~micah

Digilogic

Thanks for the advice. I will just be patient and give her time. The good news right now is that she loves everything I do :-)

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"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Pablo Picasso

noodle

And free reign to explore. My first laid back on the bed one afternoon, closed his eyes, and just said "explore". I got to experiment with all kinds of touches, caresses, etc. and watch his reaction. I learned some things very quickly and took a quite extended amount of time... ahem... "practicing" others. Just remember, fellas, the phrase "No! Like this, dammit! Gaaaawsh!" is a buzzkill.

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odu_sonar_AE

As stated before, take it slow, and be patient. Let her move at her own pace. This will allow her to feel comfortable with you, and what she is doing, and will give her the "courage" to try new things. Nobody knows everything from the start, and for some the "learning curve" might be greater than others. The most important thing I've found was to talk with them, and find out their likes/dislikes/ and fantasies. That will do nothing but increase the bond of trust that will make her more comfortable with you.

Titan_Uranus

patience young grasshopper, take it slow.

Acetylene

All these things are quite true and good so I'll just add two more:

1. "No, that's too gross" actually means "Ask me again in 6 months."

2. Nix the wine. You don't want her to do anything she may regret. She should be in her right and sober mind and doing only what she will think about the next morning and go "oohhh yeah"!

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toxic515

Acetylene speaks wisely.

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Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies
like a banana.

balinksi

Take your time and be courtious of her. The one thing you have to encourage her to do though is slowly start to learn different positions and such.

Remember must have really loved you to give it up to you so be good about it and take the time to mold her into your sex toy.

Mr Honest

just be NICE about it all. Seriously, be polite and ask /explain things nicely. Sure there are women who love men to be 'real macho' but that is not every woman and from my experience it's about 1/30. Don't ever insult her, ever say anything nasty about her looks or body (at least not to her face!)

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sailor

Have fun. Orgasms aren't that important in the long run. I fact, they don't really matter at all so long as ya'll are having a good time.

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bad jane

the basics have already been covered. i just want to add, that since she is a virgin with no sexual experience at all, it may not just be a lack of knowing how to do things that will hold her back--part could be a lack of knowing what all there is to do. you never really know if you'll enjoy it till you try it, but most of us can get a pretty good idea on if something will turn us on or not when the situation is described.

but the mechanics of sex is not very sexy when you have no experience. the sensations are good and the idea may be intriguing--but i didn't fantasize about giving blowjobs before i'd ever done it. the concept (prior to having done it) just didn't hold a lot of appeal.

since men and women are generally wired a bit differently, you might consider reading some erotic stories with her. literotica.com has tons to choose from in a variety of interests. i know for me, discovering erotic literature definitely opened me up to trying so much more than i ever thought i would. and it might ease some of the "dirty" and "weird" thoughts too, knowing others do it and it's nothing new might make her a little more comfy trying it herself.

Peapod

Everyone had great responses! I would say you could just guide her hands (if she is trying to give you a hand job...)

And keep up the PRAISING!!!! Tell her how good she makes you feel. Also you could try blindfolds. (They help make you less inhibited if you can't see)


Goodluck!

Strange Famous

I guess like everyone else said, just to make her feel appreciated and confident. If there are things she genuinely doesnt want to do, you have to respect that.... but in your place I'd just let her know that I was crazy about her and any stuff we did I'd make sure she knew how much I was into it. I think anyone, if you feel something thinks you are mad sexy, it makes you feel sexy. (well, it probably wouldnt me... but girls tend to be prettier than I am so its more likely for them!)

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
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The Gospel of Thomas

bobillydylan

Your on the right path then mate if she loves what your doing. As you say be patient and you both will reap the rewards.The main thing is have fun

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Yes and only if my own true love was waiting,
And i could hear her heart a softly pounding,
Yes and only if she was lying by me!
Then i would lie in my bed once again.

maceryk

Another thing to consider is to have discussions about sex in non-sexual situations. You remove the pressure of the immediate moment, and it's sometimes easier to be more open. Plus, it can be great foreplay.