bobillydylan

Exactly

once again i have to agree, if your with the right person then all of these things happen naturally.

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Yes and only if my own true love was waiting,
And i could hear her heart a softly pounding,
Yes and only if she was lying by me!
Then i would lie in my bed once again.

SiN

So, is this 'cumming' thing the only/the only valid/a necessary proof that your partner enjoyed him/herself?

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Charlatan

I care if my wife has an orgasm but I don't freak out if she doesn't.

We've been together long enough that *if* she wants to orgasm and hasn't she lets me know...

Besides, there is something to be said for "selfish sex". Sometimes, it is OK for it to be just about you.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

mandy

like i said the first time, its not always about the orgasm. the orgasm is the bonus from having a good time, the PRIZE when you win the race( if you will)although winning "the race" is not always important.

"what you're doing for them", is not necessarily making them orgasm but aiding them in getting there!

Nimetic

Everyone is so nice... I'm wondering if we're trying to look good here... : >

Taking all the altruistic and sharing stuff as a given assumption for a sec... and I think I can relate to pretty much all that's been said so far.

Sometimes, as a guy, I just want to have a straightforward buildup/foreplay and orgasm in a shorter timeframe. I feel like I want to play rock music (4-10min song) vs maybe choosing to play/compose a classical sonata. The latter... well there're so many decisions to be made. Order, tempo, style. Sheesh. It can work well, or it can... er work less well. Give me the basic chords, the basic beat, a little break in the middle and I'm happy most of the time.

To be 100% candid for a sec... sometimes (not always mind) I find that women's biology re orgasm, or more fairly, male/female compatibility re orgasm, is a good argument against this so-called "intelligent design" that creationists are discussing these days.

Surely there're some others here that got to puberty and found that their sex-drive didn't align perfectly with their ideals, views, morals? Speak-up or this will be boring.

bad jane

well, can't say that i've ever had a partner not orgasm...

if it were to happen, i suppose i'd approach it the same way i want to be approached when i don't orgasm--does he want to cum and if so, what can i do to get him there?

cause honestly, sometimes i just don't care if i climax. it feels good anyway and i want to cuddle and enjoy each other, not work for an orgasm. other times, i want it and i fully expect him to do whatever it takes to help me get there--i'm too old to waste my time on partners who don't care about my needs.

while i agree the focus shouldn't be just on the climax--it does matter. unless you are perfectly content to never have an orgasm (or your partner has expressed this feeling and you believe it) then saying it doesn't matter is selfish. do you have to have it every time? i think most people (men and women) would say no, they can enjoy sex for the pleasure it brings without a climax. but if i want it, i expect my partner to help make it happen.

Minx

Ideally both partners will enjoy the big O. I have to admit that I am one of those type that gets off very quickly - I'm good to go again after that but I usually come before my guy. I still want to have him cum though - but if he doesn't I don't feel I "failed" in some way. I try to please him because I want him to feel as good as I do but if he doesn't cum I don't perceive it as some self-esteem thing or that we've done something wrong.

If I cum and I'm done....I'll do whatever it takes to make my honey happy. If he's good with just me being complete - then more power to him. I'll just try that much harder next time to rock his world!

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You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

ruggerp11

lets be honest. I love bringing my SO to orgasm. I love the look on her face and the incoherient noises eminating from deep inside her. Really though I (like SIN said) am along for the ride. I want to enjoy my self, maybe laugh and have a night to remember. if I don't come so be it. If she doesn't come, well I hope that she would have but I won't be disappointed about it.

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Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

Astrocloud

Okay just recently with my condom problems -I've been in the situation where I haven't been getting off each and every time. I've made sure that she has however.

I think with some guys that there is a need to satisfy a woman -even if we are fully satisfied ourselves.

m0rpheus

I care if she cums or not, I mean really what kind of selfish prick doesnt. That being said she doesnt always, and neither do I. Doesnt mean we didnt love it.

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"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Daniel_

I wasted too many years with a wife that hated sex and pretended she liked it (to "keep me quiet") to not be totally ecstatic when my partner gets off on being with me.

Not the be all and end all, but it makes the day have more sparkle.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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