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View Poll Results: Does it matter if your partner has an orgasm
I am a male and I do not care if my partner cums 5 2.02%
I am a male and I want my partner to orgasm 207 83.47%
I am a female and I do not care if my partner cums 0 0%
I am a female and I want my partner to orgasm 26 10.48%
What the hell is this option for? 10 4.03%
Voters: 248. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 07-30-2005, 08:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Do you care if your partner Cums?

I've heard of a lot of guys "rolling over" after they cum. I have also experienced women who were unwilling to reciprocate -after I got them off orally. I always try to get my partner off -especially if I have mine. Gentle reader, I ask you -Does it matter to you?
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Old 07-30-2005, 10:26 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 07-30-2005, 10:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I strongly agree with Coppertop. Ya gotta give a little to get a little. (or hopefully a lot)
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Old 07-30-2005, 12:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
has been
 
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actually nothing gets me off more than getting her off, the expressions are amazing, when she loses control...ya, it matters
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Old 07-30-2005, 12:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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^^^^^^
What qweds said
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Old 07-30-2005, 01:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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There's nothing I love feeling more than him bursting inside of me
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Old 07-30-2005, 01:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
There's nothing I love feeling more than him bursting inside of me
There's nothing I love feeling more than her clenching up in orgasm while I burst inside of her.
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Old 07-30-2005, 01:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
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What everybody said ^^^
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Old 07-30-2005, 01:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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ditto, if she cums, i've done my job. it also means that she has done her job for me.
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Old 07-30-2005, 02:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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it matters to me i think sometimes getting a girl to orgasm is kinda like a huge confidence booster....
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Old 07-30-2005, 03:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I agree with what everybody has said...namely that getting *her* off is definitely the best part. And if it can be timed where we cum together...all the better.
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Old 07-30-2005, 03:06 PM   #12 (permalink)
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In all truth, If she doesnt cum it wasnt good for me. I really get satisfaction out of seeing and hearing her when she cums. I try to find new ways, and make her maon more as somehow its actually a turn on for me.

I like to think of myself as a considerat lover and part of that, for me, is making sure she's satisfied every time.
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Old 07-30-2005, 03:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I love it when she cums
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Old 07-30-2005, 04:04 PM   #14 (permalink)
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While most of the women who I've shared sex with have been multiorgasmic, the one I've been with for the last 20+ years has it in her head that she only needs or deserves one orgasm per day. That is no matter if it's during the same session or multiiple sessions. I have only managed to get her off more than once in a day maybe a dozen times in over 20 years. Usually the extra's were during our first session of any given day.

So, it's become a lot easier on my ego to just let her give me a handjob rather than go through the motions and her not get off. She seems to enjoy giving to me by hand and it works for us I guess.

Looking at the numbers in the poll here I'm not surprised that 90% of the guys do want their partners to get off.
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Old 07-30-2005, 04:25 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I've had a couple of times where it was I that wasn't able to get off, she did though, that was good enough for me
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Old 07-30-2005, 04:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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That's my main goal, To make sure that she orgasms. Nothing hotter than a girl orgasming.
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Old 07-30-2005, 04:48 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I like to mak her cum. Making her feel good is the major part of the experience for me...and if she's doing the same, happiness will be obtained by all!
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Old 07-30-2005, 04:51 PM   #18 (permalink)
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If I have an orgasm, then I want to make sure the guy gets his too. It's really only fair. If I have an orgasm and the guy doesn't, then I want to do everything I can to make him have one too.
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Old 07-30-2005, 05:35 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Cumming together is the best sex. When she cums that muscle inside the vagina, what ever it is called, really clamps down. That is the REAL ectasy. If a guy can't get it off then, I don't know what it would take.
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Old 07-30-2005, 07:42 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by qweds
actually nothing gets me off more than getting her off, the expressions are amazing, when she loses control...ya, it matters
when she screams at the end!
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Old 07-30-2005, 08:00 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
Kinda sad that 3 people doesn't care if their partner cums or not. I wonder what's the reasoning behind it...
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Old 07-31-2005, 11:11 AM   #22 (permalink)
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I want her to orgasm, but it isn't always a matter of both of us getting off. Sometimes I just enjoy taking care of her without either of us needing to be concerned with whether I climax, and vice versa. Since we've learned to relax and not concern ourselves with the idea that we both have to come every time we make love, we've each been able to take pleasure from pleasing the other and been able to recieve without guilt.

It took quite some time to get to this point, though. The real benefit is that it tends to be much more intense and more likely to result in multiple or sustained orgasms if we're both invested in giving just one of us pleasure.
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Old 07-31-2005, 01:19 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Thats actually all I care about. If she gets off. I would feel incomplete if she didn't orgasm. I don't care about if I get off, I will anyway, as long as she does. Thats good sex.
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Old 07-31-2005, 01:57 PM   #24 (permalink)
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My mission is to maker her cum 1st. Only takes me a min or two to cum if i focus
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Old 07-31-2005, 03:48 PM   #25 (permalink)
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She cums first, always. There are a few times she just wants a quickie, but other than that, I take care of her first, then it's my turn.
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Old 07-31-2005, 08:48 PM   #26 (permalink)
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depends if i love them then yes of course i do...i love giving that ultimate pleasure to a deserving lover
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Old 08-01-2005, 05:28 AM   #27 (permalink)
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I think that fewer women are admitting it here than what really exists. I know from experience that some ladies can orgasm and then roll over before their man gets off. Common ladies, just admit it. You've orgasmed and your guy is still pumping away... Don't you just want him to quit?
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Old 08-01-2005, 07:40 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I ALWAYS make sure TW comes before I do. Of course, that's quite easy now that I'm on Zoloft. I think I only come 2 or 3 times a week and we have sex at least 6 days a week. Thank you Zoloft.
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Old 08-02-2005, 01:03 AM   #29 (permalink)
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I would totally take it personally if my man didn't cum.
He has to cum. It makes the whole thing, complete.. I like complete-ness.. er.. yeah.

I'm not to fussed if I don't cum though, sometimes a quicky without cumming is just as good as a long hard fuck session.
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Old 08-02-2005, 01:35 AM   #30 (permalink)
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partner totally has to cum.theres nothing greater than the feeling of him erupting inside me and that surge of warmth running through me.it drives me completely bonkers!!!

although i would take offence if he didnt, not really offence more than i'd feel inadequate just as i suppose men would feel inadequate if his partner didnt cum.

although guys and gals...it's not always about the orgasm.theres more to it than that.dont you think?
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Old 08-02-2005, 08:25 AM   #31 (permalink)
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95% of the time she and I have to, but there are those situations where u are both exahuasted and tired and you've been doing it forever maybe your second round. Then sometimes rolling over and going to sleep is
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Old 08-02-2005, 08:50 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by qweds
actually nothing gets me off more than getting her off, the expressions are amazing, when she loses control...ya, it matters
yep, my thoughts exactly....does that make me selfish?
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Old 08-02-2005, 09:49 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Allright, this thread touches on one of my peeves ... being too concerned about it.

I removed names because i don't mean to point fingers

Cumming matters, but I don't think it's necessarily the only point.
It's the difference between destinational sex, and simply enjoying the ride.

I've seen too many posts from other women, worried about that they don't always orgasm, are they inadequate, their SO doesn't like it, blah blah ...
And, in my own experience ... I've had lots of sex with a fair amount of people.
Almost always totally enjoyed myself, but definitely not always orgasmed.

I've had enough sex with enough people, I think, to say that
too many men worry/take personally too much if the female cums or not!
And if I can tell that it's a big deal after sex, it is really kind of a wtf? it was all fine until you pull this crap ...
.

Men:

Quote:
Thats actually all I care about. If she gets off. I would feel incomplete if she didn't orgasm.

Quote:
I like to mak her cum. Making her feel good is the major part of the experience for me...
Quote:
In all truth, If she doesnt cum it wasnt good for me....
I like to think of myself as a considerat lover and part of that, for me, is making sure she's satisfied every time.
Quote:
it matters to me i think sometimes getting a girl to orgasm is kinda like a huge confidence booster....
I notise a lot of emphasis, a lot pf pressure that could be put on the female, intentionally or not.
Not cool.


A couple from the girls, also with heavy emphasis on the 'cumming' but tempered with realism ...

Quote:
I would totally take it personally if my man didn't cum.
He has to cum. It makes the whole thing, complete.. ...
I'm not to fussed if I don't cum though, sometimes a quicky without cumming is just as good as a long hard fuck session.
Quote:
partner totally has to cum.

although i would take offence if he didnt, not really offence more than i'd feel inadequate just as i suppose men would feel inadequate if his partner didnt cum.

although guys and gals...it's not always about the orgasm.theres more to it than that.dont you think?
Moral of my rant:

Considerate, unselfish sex is great. Pleasurable sex is wonderful. That is what one should concern onesself with.
Sex with pressure, with too much hanging on emotions and confidences and securities ... meh.

All imo, of course.

(I know, I know, I'm broadening the original topic a bit. sorry.).

Anyways, carry on




---

Edit: almost forgot the most important thing:
Guys - if she does not orgasm, that does not in any way whatsofuckingever mean that she did not enjoy it.
Please, do not take it that way.
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Old 08-02-2005, 11:17 AM   #34 (permalink)
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SIN MADE THE BEST POST IN THIS THREAD. READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Sex with pressure, with too much hanging on emotions and confidences and securities ... meh. "

GOD-Fucking_DAMNIT! YES! YES! YES! The prepubescent idea that I got from porn, that she "had to come".. nearly destroyed my sex life. She doesn't NEED to come, and neither do you. Sex is about enjoying the other person; it's like a birthday party. Your partner is having a huge fucking birthday party (pun intended) and you really care if the party ends with a big bang? They had a damn birthday party for you! Enjoy the party while it lasts, and your friends are there, and you're eating the cake. Don't spend the whole party waiting for the end. By putting all of this pressure on myself to make her cum, and her putting all this pressure on herself to make ME cum.. my sex life was going dowwwwwn hill. If I even sensed the fact that she wasn't 100% enjoying it, I felt inadequate and my third leg reacted accordingly. I can't tell you the number of times I "failed" because I felt like I was "failing" -- you'll make yourself a self-fufilling prophecy. Likewise, my girlfriend is the Hope Diamond of orgasms.. there's no fuckin way you're gettin that.. and if you somehow stumble on it -- GOOD WORK! I could bother myself feeling inadequate that I don't make her orgasm (and I do sometimes).. but my ultimate concern is that she enjoys what I do NOW.

edit: just to clarify; that's not to say you SHOULDN'T care, by all means you should.. but don't make it the only thing that makes sex worthwile. and most importantly, don't think sex (or you, or your partner) are a faillure if orgasm of either party doesn't occur.
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Last edited by Jinn; 08-02-2005 at 11:20 AM..
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Old 08-02-2005, 01:02 PM   #35 (permalink)
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i think i'm cumming right now. does that mean i gotta get all you guys off too? :P
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Old 08-02-2005, 02:39 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SiN
Allright, this thread touches on one of my peeves ... being too concerned about it.
Just because I want him to cum, doesn't mean I tell him he HAS too. I was just pointing out, that i'll do anything I can to help him get to that point. Hell, who doesn't want to cum, when having sex?

I guess I would worry about it if he was hammering away for a couple of hours and still hasn't shot his load. ( hahah. Gosh, now thats some sweet talking. ) So what if I am concerned about my lover getting all he can out of our session. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

Pressure, and being "concerned", are two different things.

I'm sure thats what alot of the guys here meant.



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Old 08-02-2005, 04:57 PM   #37 (permalink)
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i feel inadequate if they dont. that and im a big fan of give/receive and since i orgasm easily i am willing to put forth necessary effort (until my legs give out of my mouth goes numb)

but yea, i care a lot.
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Old 08-02-2005, 06:05 PM   #38 (permalink)
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There's nothing hotter than seeing her face contorted in the pleasure of an orgasm.

Besides, she usually comes first anyways. Several times. Yeah, she's a bit of a nympho
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Old 08-02-2005, 06:52 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Now here is another good question- do you care if you cum?

There are some times when I just can't orgasm, and in those cases, I still want my partner to get off.

Does that make sense?
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Old 08-03-2005, 02:23 AM   #40 (permalink)
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i totally agree with jinxed ...its a fine line but it's still there.

i also agree with jinnkai on this one that sex is about enjoying your partner, enjoying eachother.and how can you enjoy the full extent of pleasure if there is no end result?

its not so much putting pressure on your partner as it is wanting your partner to enjoy themselves while they enjoying what you are doing for them.

but...i still maintain that its not always about the orgasm.there's just something sensual about you and your partner having sex and not orgasming.i think it brings you closer together.
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