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Old 05-15-2005, 09:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
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UPDATED: Help needed :(

During University today, my gf txt's me and says shes coming to see me in town. She was home sick for the day from school - which made me wonder why she would come in.

Immediately when I hugged her at lunch, I knew something was up. She got a hot choccy from Starbucks and we went up stairs to the couches area. She sat down and burst into silent tears. She explained to me how she said she had recently been to the doctor to have a smear (I knew this already) then said that a letter in the mail had arrived, saying they had found something abnormal, and said she had to go to the hospital in 3 weeks.

I could barely speak. I asked her if this was something of my doing, had I given her something? She said the smear doesn't detect anything to do with STD's (is this true?). I briefly breathed then asked carefully what could be the matter. Through a long silence, she seemed to struggle to talk. I think she said something about it could be Cervical Cancer.. or something (it was hard to understand her).

I was hoping someone, anyone had any knowledge on this matter. What could be wrong with her, if she has been requested to visit the hospital? She's really distraught over this, and I can't bring myself to asking her any more information on the topic. She was just a complete mess. Just yesterday she was cheerful as ever, eating pizza with me in my room :(.

PLEASE if anyone could direct me to any sites of things that could be wrong with her. I don't want to lose her (although that is obviously not in my control) - but I would like to have some more information on what I could be about to face.

Thanks for everything and anything TFP <3
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Old 05-15-2005, 09:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Ok, I just found this.

http://www.medinfo.co.uk/tests/smear.html

Am I searching in the right place? She's only 17, I'm 19. Does anyone have any stories about this topic? :'(

Thanks again
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Old 05-15-2005, 09:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Pap smears arent STD tests. They are to test for cervical cancer. The problem with that is it quickly spreads to the uterus and very often causes infertility.

While STDs can help cause cervical cancers, women get cancer as commonly here as men and testicular cancer. If they caught it early it shouldn't be much of a problem.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000893.htm Here's another site that may help explain it.
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Old 05-15-2005, 11:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you so much Seaver. This is exactly what I needed to read.

"The development of cervical cancer is gradual and begins as a pre-cancerous condition called dysplasia. In this form it is 100% treatable, usually without the need for a hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus).

It may take years for dysplasia to turn into carcinoma in situ or microinvasive cancer."


She said her last smear was 6 months ago, so that is a small breath of relief.

Thanks once again Seaver, I'll post back the results (when she goes to hospital) in hope this may aid someone else one day <3.
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Old 05-16-2005, 01:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Good luck. With decent treatment the prognosis is fantastic - as all the research you've done verifies.

Do women in the States get called in for smear tests automatically, or do they have to remember to book? Over here in the UK, I know that the doctors office sends out reminders and goes as far as to phone women up if they fail to book.
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Old 05-16-2005, 04:34 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Another link: Discovery Health :: Pap Smear. This page notes that there are a lot of "false positives" associated with this test (which means that the test result says that there are abnormalities, but in fact there is no problem). The test is designed to be relatively easy to run and cheap to process; that way, testing lots of people doesn't run up big bucks. Then, if there's an indication of a problem, they perform a more rigorous test. There's a good chance that there is nothing wrong with your girlfriend, but it is important that she go back and get the follow up testing.

Thanks for helping your girlfriend out and trying to find out as much as you can; she will appreciate that. Help her figure out what questions she needs to ask on her return visit. I'm surprised that they didn't send her some pamphlets with the test result.
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Old 05-16-2005, 06:55 AM   #7 (permalink)
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There's actually one STI that an abnormal smear might indicate: <a href="http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdhpv.htm">HPV, Human Papilloma Virus</a>. It's one cause of genital warts, though many infected people are asymptomatic. HPV is also a cause of various kinds of cancers: cervical, uteral, anal, and penile, to name a few.

I don't want to scare you here, but you're not totally off the hook. If you have any reason to believe you might be infected, you should go get tested ASAP.
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Old 05-16-2005, 08:47 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Ratbastid does indeed speak the truth. Get tested. It might be scary but if you're clean, you're clean, but if you're not at least you know you're not and can do something about it.
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Old 05-16-2005, 09:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
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You also have to realize that pap smears throw up abmormals pretty regularly, especialy if she had a normal type of smear done instead of a Thin Prep smear. The Thin Prep is a type of pap smear devloped specifically to reduce the amount of false positives that show up. This is why your GF is going to the hospital- to make sure that there's a reason to be upset.

Take a DEEEP breath, everything will be ok, I promise
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Old 05-16-2005, 09:41 AM   #10 (permalink)
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After getting an abornormal pap, she will go to another doctor and they will most likely do another test (not for sure the name of it). But they will check her out again, but this pap will be a little different then the last, they spray a liquid on the cervix and that will show them where the abnormal cells are located. They will either scrap them off or freeze them off. Then she will have to go back a few more times and get another pap until she has like 3 normal ones in a row.

I have had this done, it's okay. Everything will be back to normal soon, most of the time they catch it in the early stages.

Best of luck...Lucky Girl
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Old 05-16-2005, 11:27 AM   #11 (permalink)
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My wife just went through that last year. Had to take 3 pap smears in about 8 months. First one detected abnomalities. Wait 2 months and do it again. Then again months later. Finally the last one looked normal. Most of the times, the abnomal smear isn't all that bad. Found lots of resources on the intenet that pretty much confirmed that. Google and do some research, it will help both of you.
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Old 05-16-2005, 12:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Your doctor should get a kick in the ass. Abnormal paps are almost common as mentioned above. My wife had an abnormal one a few years ago, stressed for a month, then had a perfectly normal one. I suppose regardless of what the doc says a woman would stress over this just like a guy with a lump on a nut would. Relax as much as possible and wait for the next one. Remember, when they do the test they take samples...if the sample comes in contact with anything the results are abnormal & ultimately useless.
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Old 05-16-2005, 02:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Koochy, the Ladies Lounge forum has a thread active on this now. You might feel some relief if you read the posts. Just don't post there
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Old 05-16-2005, 09:20 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hehe, awesome.

I am a pessismist when it comes to hearing the slightest piece of bad news .

She seems to be feeling a bit better, which is good news to me.

Thanks again! Now to this Ladies Lounge place I go! <3
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Old 05-19-2005, 07:35 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I had an abnormal pap about 12 years ago. I had to go back and have cryosurgery, which is freezing of the cervix. It removes the outer layer of the cervix. The also did a biopsy and everything was fine after that. She may have to go to the hospital because the clinic she goes to is not equipt to do the surgery. If I remember correctly, it wasn't to terribly painful either. Here is a word of caution for you though. I was told that it is very easy to get pregnant after the procedure and wouldn't you know it, I was pregnant 2 months later. Coincidence? I don't know. My baby girl was born almost a year after the procedure. I have never had an abnormal pap since. I think she will be fine. Think positively.
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:06 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Thank you getwonk'd <3.

Oh! I was meaning to ask about sex. We only see each other on weekends (due to school and uni) and it's been 2 weeks since we last sexed like rabbits (last week was her period). It's now the weekend and I'm wondering if sex is safe in her state. She seems to have thrown off all cares on the matter and stated that she can't wait any longer and demands sexual relief (I'm not complaining!) However...is this safe? Is it possible we could make the matter worse or cause any damage?
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:13 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Koochy, by all means!!! (Did you see the thread in Ladies Lounge?)... the night I heard the news about an abnormal pap, my bf acted like nothing was wrong and went down on me like a wild man. His lack of inhibition made me feel like a million dollars, and made me forget all about my possible condition.

If she has HPV, nothing you do now will make things worse or damage anything. Most people who have HPV carry it for years and never even know it... so unless she is flaring up (which it sounds like she isn't), go for it man!! She needs that physical affection more than ever right now.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong...
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:21 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Yeah, enjoy the fruits of your bodies! Nothing you can do during sex will make any condition she may or may not have better or worse. The stress relief will probably be super benificial to you both!

THREE CHEERS FOR SEXING LIKE RABBITS, DOWN UNDER AND TO THE RIGHT STYLE!!!
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Old 05-19-2005, 10:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Oh my god, those are the best two replies I have ever read.

I will do my best to make her forget anything could be the matter -- then treat her like I would any other night I am seething with sexual lust.

Abaya, yus I did read that thread in LL, but I skimmed some of it (so I may have missed anything on the topic of sex).

2 hours till shes here, I can't wait :D!
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Old 05-24-2005, 05:35 AM   #20 (permalink)
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hey there.i just recently went for a smear myself.yes they do detect std's but its more of a way to check if theres anything wrong with your womb, if ther are any abnormalities.the other peeps are right and you have the right idea.dont treat her like theres anything wrong with her.keep reassuring her that things will be fine.and just be there for her.because i know if my bf hadnt been the way he was when i came back from the doctor i most probably would have died.but he was supportive and he showed me that he cared.

also, you cant harm her by having sex.thats what your bodys were made for.just be gentle and let her know that you doing it because you want to not because of an obligation.
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Old 05-24-2005, 12:46 PM   #21 (permalink)
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My cousin had cervical cancer. She found out because of her anual pap smear. She needed to go through a lot of chemo and yucky things, but she's completely better now, and she marvelously just gave birth to a baby girl!

Hopefully your girlfriend is okay Koochy. You seem like a good man.
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Old 05-25-2005, 08:05 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Thanks for all the support.

I'm trying my best to make her feel special in every way possible and showing her no matter what I'll be there... etc etc.

*Que epic romantic heroic music*

Needless to say, I'd be lost with out what's written above . Still no update on status of the smear, I'll post back when I hear anything!
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Old 09-07-2005, 03:31 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Well, it's been almost 3 months, but she finally heard back from the doctor. She had to go the hospital for a few final tests and the results just came through.

She has pre-cancerous cells (dysplasia).

Naturally, she was absolutely devastated. I can't see her till Friday (2 sleeps) and it seems like it's taking forever. I've re-read all the topics and articles posted about dysplasia and anything related, and it's perfectly treatable from what I've gathered. What's worse, she has her school finals coming up. This really worries me she'll have her mind torn between which to worry more about, ending in a emotional breakdown of some sort :(.

I rang her earlier (kind of hard to talk to her, she was a bit shaky) and she said the treatment has a 95% success rate. It's clearly a very young infection, so here's hoping that 5% doesn't show it's ugly face.

Once again TFP, thanks for the help. I will continue to keep this thread informed as honestly; I hardly find a thread where a problem has been asked and the aftermath (for good or bad) has been posted. So! Heres to good news!

<3
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Old 09-07-2005, 10:59 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Best of luck.
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Old 09-07-2005, 01:24 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Well, the good news is, it got caught early. That's why women should have frequent smears, unpleasant though they are.

Best of luck--we'll be thinking about her.
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Old 09-07-2005, 02:39 PM   #26 (permalink)
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You've got the magic words in there -- pre-cancerous - -it doesn't mean it's cancer because she caught it early... 95 percent is incredibly good odds....

Good luck...
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Old 09-07-2005, 03:31 PM   #27 (permalink)
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My best friend went through this several years ago. She had the cells removed, nothing further happened, she has a child now, and everything is fine. It's just best that it was caught early. Keep us informed, and hugs for you and your girl!
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Old 09-07-2005, 04:30 PM   #28 (permalink)
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That's really good news. I love to hear pre-cancerous. Surgery happens, but then, everything is fine again. Be supportive. She needs you now more than ever.
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Old 09-07-2005, 05:32 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I came up with moderate dysplasia when I was 19 and put everything off for two more months, went back and it was severe at that point. I was mad because they told me that I had an STD... I was a virgin at the time. They didn't tell me it was probably HPV and there's over 100 kinds, numerous of which are not contracted or transmitted through sex. They never tested me for the virus, just scared the crap out of me. But I had the cryosurgery and 12 more abnormal smears. That was 10 years ago and I've had zero problems since the surgery. Even though the paps were abnormal. My exSO never tested positive for HPV and we had numerous opportunities to transmit the thing by the end of it all. It's a screening test. One in four women will have abnormal paps. Four out of ten of those will have surgery. Nine of those ten are okay afterwards. According to my last gyno. Depending on the type of surgery, they may put restrictions on intercourse for awhile, but until they say hold it, there's nothing wrong with enjoying each other. And giv'er a snuggle, she needs it. So do you.
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Old 09-08-2005, 04:32 AM   #30 (permalink)
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oh eddie D:! <3
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Old 09-08-2005, 05:27 AM   #31 (permalink)
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i hate how dr.'s freak out all the young girls out there, saying they have displaysia and it 'could' be cancer. This is soooo common these days.....seems to be rampant in early 20's females, who are usually sexually active or taking the pill. It's basically found out from abnormal pap smear, which could be caused by many things (including std, hpv, etc...) Tell her not to freak out about this, cause it is most likely nothing.....
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Old 09-08-2005, 04:46 PM   #32 (permalink)
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It's gonna be hard convincing her that she'll be fine. I've got a feeling shes going to agree with me, but underneath completely disregard my entire opinion. Mostly due to the fact I'm a guy, and have basically had to find out everything on my own (oh, and TFP ) on the internet. That could just be paranoia, but it's been hard enough to find out anything from her. She just shuts off when anything bad happens (even the smallest of things).

Anyways, thanks for all the support TFP. I'll be sure to share this thread with her to help lift her spirits, as I'm hoping it will.

Until next update!

Ps: Hi Paul
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Old 10-30-2005, 05:09 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Well! Where to start.

On Wednesday she went to the hospital to be treated for her condition... but before I get to that, let's look back over this past month.

When she found out she had dysplasia, she had to go off the pill. It took us 2 weeks to have sex after she heard the news. She said she felt dirty, and couldn't feel intimate with me with the thought of something wrong down there in the back of her mind. I gave her her space, but still kept myself as close as possible (hugs, flowers, backrubs) to her.

Time passes, and shes over at my house. She has horrible stomach pains and can barely sit up. I'm crapping myself (with my almost nil knowledge of the effects of cancer) thinking thats whats causing her to feel this way. I feel terrible, with her being in my house, meaning my responsibility. I biked to the supermarket to get some Panadol (pain relief) as I had none in the house. She was thankful and managed to sleep. The next morning, she informed me it was just her period (I would have much liked to have known that the night before D:).

Anyways, fast forward to Wednesday (26th, Oct). She went in to hospital about midday, and I heard from her later that night... that everything was a success! :D

The next day, I head over early in the morning with an armful of flowers and chocolate. Shes lying in bed watching TV. It's like a weight has been taken from her shoulders. She's happy and once again her wonderful self :D!

I'm so glad everything has turned out for the better. Sure, she has to have a few tests over the next few months, but for the time being shes fixed!

Sadly, no sex for 4 weeks. I understand, but it's taking the toll on her. I can barely kiss her with out her wanting to do the nasty, so I'm stuck with her calling the moves the next 4 weeks hehe :(.

All in all, I'd just like to say thank you TFP (again :D). You awesome people have been a major help in everything, thanks so much. <3

- Koochy
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Old 10-30-2005, 09:17 PM   #34 (permalink)
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<3 excellent!
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Old 10-31-2005, 01:32 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koochy
I can barely kiss her with out her wanting to do the nasty, so I'm stuck with her calling the moves the next 4 weeks hehe .

- Koochy
You have my deepest condolensces *Snicker*
Glad to hear things worked out as they did, you must feel on top of the world (even if she's on top of yours, as per what you said hehe).
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Old 10-31-2005, 04:42 PM   #36 (permalink)
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when it comes back abnormal it could be something or nothing. if its something.. it's most likely HPV. Then she will have to get a colposcopy. They stick metal things (i cant explain it) in you and take a biopsy of your cervix. It hurts a bit. Like a cramping feeling. Only for that day. Then she will get medicine and have discharge for a week or so. A little uncomfortable. Then it can come back serious or not serious. If its not serious she will have HPV for 2-3 years and it will go away on its own. If it is serious, then she will get a few more tests. She will then have a higher risk for cervical cancer...she may not be able to have children. It only puts her at a higher risk...she wont neccassarily get cervical cancer. There is NO cure for this. This canot be detected in men what so ever. They say men are usually the carriers but you never know. It truly is not a big deal!!! I swear. It is the most common STD. It is among our generation the most. They are now testing younger girls for it b/c i is so common...

Nothing to worry about. Hope it helps...
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Old 10-31-2005, 04:56 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Good to read everything work out well.

No sex for a month? How 'bout some backdoor lovin'?
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Old 10-31-2005, 11:21 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Powderedmaggot
Good to read everything work out well.

No sex for a month? How 'bout some backdoor lovin'?

hahaha.

Anyways I'm glad that things have turned out well for you two. Wish your SO a quick and speedy recovery, for both your sakes.
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Old 11-01-2005, 03:41 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Haha, thanks! :D

As for the backdoor loving, I know for a fact it's not her thing (nor does it really apeal to me :$). I'll just sit tight and enjoy the scenery :p
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Old 11-01-2005, 04:35 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Haha, thanks!

As for the backdoor loving, I know for a fact it's not her thing (nor does it really apeal to me :$). I'll just sit tight and enjoy the scenery
Wise move....and I am reminded of an old Hienz Ketchup commercial....


An tis I Pah..ah...shun...its makin' me wait
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