Women: Do you rub your clit during sex? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

chavez · 04-23-2005, 12:40 PM

Just wondering. My wife needs a lot of clitoral simulation to cum, but she's very specific in what works for her so 99% of the time I end up on top. I'm dying to try some different positions and I'm wondering if this is a situation where she could help herself along, so to speak. Any feedback you might have would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

SpiffCheese · 04-23-2005, 01:08 PM

Hey, Chavez! I have the same situation as your wife, and I've found it works really well when I'm on top- after insertion, I move towards my husband's feet slightly until I can stimulate myself on his penis as it goes in and out. He really enjoys this too ;-) It takes some playing around to find the best spot, but she should definitely give it a try.
Also, my husband doesn't mind when I "help myself" by using my fingers when we're in positions that aren't favorable for clitoral stumilation.

chavez · 04-23-2005, 01:22 PM

thanks, I've often thought about suggesting that she help herself a bit so we could try some new positions but wasn't sure if it would make a difference or not.

Biscuit Buns · 04-23-2005, 01:25 PM

I've only been able to cum once or twice without clitoral stimulation and both times we had the perfect amount of lube - not too wet, not too dry, but definitely a bit of drag. Both times, I was on top and sitting straight up. Other than that, I have to help myself during sex.

ratbastid · 04-23-2005, 02:48 PM

lurkette sometimes helps herself along. Used to be she had to do that every time, but lately we've both been learning what it takes to get her off hands-free.

Note: that's after 10 years of marriage. Sex is a lifelong learning process, even with the same partner over the long haul.

Dash42 · 04-23-2005, 04:41 PM

You might also want to encourage your wife to masturbate. Masturbation for women makes it easier for them to orgasm. My last SO masturbated at least once a day and she would regularly orgasm just from vaginal intercourse (it wasn't nearly as intense for her as a clitoral orgasm of course). You also might try going down on her to get her really excited beforehand.

chavez · 04-23-2005, 05:00 PM

thanks. Very rarely does she masturbate, but I do go down on her to stir things up. We've been married for nearly 8 years and I've made attempts to educate myself on how I can please her more. It's a bit of a catch-22 really, we don't expirement much because she can only cum one way, but I'd love to change it up a bit for varietys sake.

Acetylene · 04-23-2005, 06:45 PM

Chavez, I sympathize--there's really only one position in which I can consistently get off and it's not too comfortable for poor Kel!

Your wife may have trouble with self-stimulation when on top because she may need to lean on her hands for balance, or there may not be room for her fingers (they may get squished between your pelvic bones). If you have this problem, try doggy-style with her on her elbows and knees instead of on her hands and knees. Now her hands are free and there is plenty of room for them. Also, you can hold still and she can move back and forth, if the goal was for her to be the active partner.

Everyone says that masturbation makes it easier to come, but this is not the case for me. When I masturbate I quickly become dependent on the feeling of my own hands (or toy) and can't get off from sex anymore (bad thing!). That is my main reason for not doing it anymore, except once in a blue moon.

Biscuit Buns · 04-23-2005, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acetylene

Everyone says that masturbation makes it easier to come, but this is not the case for me. When I masturbate I quickly become dependent on the feeling of my own hands (or toy) and can't get off from sex anymore (bad thing!). That is my main reason for not doing it anymore, except once in a blue moon.

Hey. Maybe I masturbate too much.

*cough cough* Actually...that could be my problem. When I have a sex partner again, I'll have to do a test. It would rock if I could swing my "Big O" ratio's around. Oh, God, would that rock.

Biscuit Buns · 04-23-2005, 07:21 PM

Or, maybe I'll put myself through hell and avoid any sort of pleasure down there and see what happens the next time I have sex.

I can just see myself having a "premature orgasm." Oh, Lord, that slays me (it usually takes me FOR-EVER)...

Squishor · 04-24-2005, 12:53 AM

I don't rub myself during sex much because usually if my legs are apart there's not much cushioning between the clit and the pubic bone. That means there will be too much stimulation for me and there's no way I can have an orgasm like that. I have no idea whether this could be a factor for your wife - I also like a lot of stimulation, just not that type. I also have found that after many many years of frequent masturbation, my body really is conditioned to respond to exactly what my hand does and it's very dificult for me to have an orgasm any other way. It's frustrating because I can get myself off in under a minute but when somebody else tries, it seems to be quite the challenge. Then again it's always more exciting and feels better even without the orgasm, so it doesn't always matter much. It does seem like you could suggest it to her and see what that leads to. Until I was told otherwise, I kind of thought it would be taken as rude or something if I masturbated during sex - she might feel the same way.

I have no idea whether any of that was even remotely helpful for you but your wife sounds a little like me.

kutulu · 04-24-2005, 01:43 AM

doggy style is great for the woman to be able to stimulate herself. that's the easiest position for my wife to cum

doncalypso · 04-24-2005, 08:05 AM

I really wish my girlfriend would play with her clit more when she's on top or when I'm taking her doggie-style. Self-stimulation during penetration is a guaranteed way to make a woman reach orgasm, but experience had taught me too many women have hang-ups about touching themselves during sex though.

As far as I can tell there's only one woman with whom I had sex in the past that didn't hesitate to play with her clit while we went at it. Boy did she cum hard and easily.

Sage · 04-24-2005, 08:09 AM

I think you totally should encourage your wife to play with her clit during sex! I think a lot of women have somehow decided they can only get off one way, and so stop expierementing with other positions that might feel really good/get them off. Encourage some creatvity!

As to your question, yes, I do rub my clit during sex, not necessarily to have an orgasm, but because it feels good and adds to the overall stimulation during sex. I have been gifted by the orgasm goddess, and can have about five different types of orgasm, one kind being the kind where I rub my clit while having intercourse. I think a lot of women don't realize they're cumming because they're used to having an orgasm only one way- I was like this for a long time before I realized that there are different types of orgasm.

Have fun expierementing!

*Nikki* · 04-24-2005, 09:27 AM

I do sometimes, usually he does it for me though. His hands just feel so much better

RelaX · 04-24-2005, 02:42 PM

You know... I once heard a feminine joke that kindof stuk in my mind because I heard it when I didn't quite understand it (too young and inexperienced) in an abridged version:

Quote:

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating."It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability." Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, Oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It would be so great!. When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool. I could write my name in the sand. Oh Please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please.."

On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability.

And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection while in a vertical position. And so he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while.

And it was good.

"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts. "What is left here? Oh well Eve, I guess you will have to settle for multiple orgasms then...."

Source: (http://www.nanuq.com/ashleigh/humor_...nment/men.html)

Sorry... this thread just reminded me of that one. The injustice of it all...

Seaver · 04-24-2005, 08:06 PM

When you're doing missionary, move upwards on her more than you regularly do. It's hard to explain, but your hips are pretty much aligned. This makes the shaft of it kinda bend around, and lets it grind the clit. Use long, slow thrusts at first till she's really going. My ex would only cum when I did this, she was like your SO in that she needed lots of clitoral stimulation. I was the only one she's ever had a climax with without her having to stimulate herself or the guy having to do it for her.

Hope this helps, it's hard to describe over this. An old girlfriend taught me it, and havent had a girl who hasnt loved it.

Demeter · 04-25-2005, 07:17 AM

I stimulate my clit during sex. My guy just doesn't seem to do it right . He's all thumbs down there, lol. I'm gonna make him keep practicing though!

tehpronking · 04-25-2005, 09:58 AM

You've got to lick it before you stick it.

04-23-2005, 12:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
chavez Upright	Women: Do you rub your clit during sex? Just wondering. My wife needs a lot of clitoral simulation to cum, but she's very specific in what works for her so 99% of the time I end up on top. I'm dying to try some different positions and I'm wondering if this is a situation where she could help herself along, so to speak. Any feedback you might have would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

04-23-2005, 01:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
Biscuit Buns Four of Wands Location: Somewhere entirely too hot.	I've only been able to cum once or twice without clitoral stimulation and both times we had the perfect amount of lube - not too wet, not too dry, but definitely a bit of drag. Both times, I was on top and sitting straight up. Other than that, I have to help myself during sex. __________________ A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

04-23-2005, 06:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
Acetylene Addict Location: under a rock	Chavez, I sympathize--there's really only one position in which I can consistently get off and it's not too comfortable for poor Kel! Your wife may have trouble with self-stimulation when on top because she may need to lean on her hands for balance, or there may not be room for her fingers (they may get squished between your pelvic bones). If you have this problem, try doggy-style with her on her elbows and knees instead of on her hands and knees. Now her hands are free and there is plenty of room for them. Also, you can hold still and she can move back and forth, if the goal was for her to be the active partner. Everyone says that masturbation makes it easier to come, but this is not the case for me. When I masturbate I quickly become dependent on the feeling of my own hands (or toy) and can't get off from sex anymore (bad thing!). That is my main reason for not doing it anymore, except once in a blue moon. __________________ There's no justice. There's just us.

04-23-2005, 07:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
Biscuit Buns Four of Wands Location: Somewhere entirely too hot.	Or, maybe I'll put myself through hell and avoid any sort of pleasure down there and see what happens the next time I have sex. I can just see myself having a "premature orgasm." Oh, Lord, that slays me (it usually takes me FOR-EVER)... __________________ A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

04-24-2005, 08:05 AM	#13 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	I really wish my girlfriend would play with her clit more when she's on top or when I'm taking her doggie-style. Self-stimulation during penetration is a guaranteed way to make a woman reach orgasm, but experience had taught me too many women have hang-ups about touching themselves during sex though. As far as I can tell there's only one woman with whom I had sex in the past that didn't hesitate to play with her clit while we went at it. Boy did she cum hard and easily. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

04-23-2005, 01:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
SpiffCheese Upright	Hey, Chavez! I have the same situation as your wife, and I've found it works really well when I'm on top- after insertion, I move towards my husband's feet slightly until I can stimulate myself on his penis as it goes in and out. He really enjoys this too ;-) It takes some playing around to find the best spot, but she should definitely give it a try. Also, my husband doesn't mind when I "help myself" by using my fingers when we're in positions that aren't favorable for clitoral stumilation.

04-23-2005, 01:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
chavez Upright	thanks, I've often thought about suggesting that she help herself a bit so we could try some new positions but wasn't sure if it would make a difference or not.

04-23-2005, 02:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	lurkette sometimes helps herself along. Used to be she had to do that every time, but lately we've both been learning what it takes to get her off hands-free. Note: that's after 10 years of marriage. Sex is a lifelong learning process, even with the same partner over the long haul.

04-23-2005, 04:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dash42 Upright	You might also want to encourage your wife to masturbate. Masturbation for women makes it easier for them to orgasm. My last SO masturbated at least once a day and she would regularly orgasm just from vaginal intercourse (it wasn't nearly as intense for her as a clitoral orgasm of course). You also might try going down on her to get her really excited beforehand.

04-23-2005, 05:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
chavez Upright	thanks. Very rarely does she masturbate, but I do go down on her to stir things up. We've been married for nearly 8 years and I've made attempts to educate myself on how I can please her more. It's a bit of a catch-22 really, we don't expirement much because she can only cum one way, but I'd love to change it up a bit for varietys sake.

04-24-2005, 12:53 AM	#11 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	I don't rub myself during sex much because usually if my legs are apart there's not much cushioning between the clit and the pubic bone. That means there will be too much stimulation for me and there's no way I can have an orgasm like that. I have no idea whether this could be a factor for your wife - I also like a lot of stimulation, just not that type. I also have found that after many many years of frequent masturbation, my body really is conditioned to respond to exactly what my hand does and it's very dificult for me to have an orgasm any other way. It's frustrating because I can get myself off in under a minute but when somebody else tries, it seems to be quite the challenge. Then again it's always more exciting and feels better even without the orgasm, so it doesn't always matter much. It does seem like you could suggest it to her and see what that leads to. Until I was told otherwise, I kind of thought it would be taken as rude or something if I masturbated during sex - she might feel the same way. I have no idea whether any of that was even remotely helpful for you but your wife sounds a little like me.

04-24-2005, 01:43 AM	#12 (permalink)
kutulu Junkie	doggy style is great for the woman to be able to stimulate herself. that's the easiest position for my wife to cum

04-24-2005, 08:09 AM	#14 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	I think you totally should encourage your wife to play with her clit during sex! I think a lot of women have somehow decided they can only get off one way, and so stop expierementing with other positions that might feel really good/get them off. Encourage some creatvity! As to your question, yes, I do rub my clit during sex, not necessarily to have an orgasm, but because it feels good and adds to the overall stimulation during sex. I have been gifted by the orgasm goddess, and can have about five different types of orgasm, one kind being the kind where I rub my clit while having intercourse. I think a lot of women don't realize they're cumming because they're used to having an orgasm only one way- I was like this for a long time before I realized that there are different types of orgasm. Have fun expierementing! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

04-24-2005, 09:27 AM	#15 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	I do sometimes, usually he does it for me though. His hands just feel so much better

04-24-2005, 08:06 PM	#17 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	When you're doing missionary, move upwards on her more than you regularly do. It's hard to explain, but your hips are pretty much aligned. This makes the shaft of it kinda bend around, and lets it grind the clit. Use long, slow thrusts at first till she's really going. My ex would only cum when I did this, she was like your SO in that she needed lots of clitoral stimulation. I was the only one she's ever had a climax with without her having to stimulate herself or the guy having to do it for her. Hope this helps, it's hard to describe over this. An old girlfriend taught me it, and havent had a girl who hasnt loved it.

04-25-2005, 07:17 AM	#18 (permalink)
Demeter Psycho	I stimulate my clit during sex. My guy just doesn't seem to do it right . He's all thumbs down there, lol. I'm gonna make him keep practicing though! __________________ I am not bound to please thee with my answers. William Shakespeare

04-25-2005, 09:58 AM	#19 (permalink)
tehpronking Tilted	You've got to lick it before you stick it.