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Chavez, I sympathize--there's really only one position in which I can consistently get off and it's not too comfortable for poor Kel!
Your wife may have trouble with self-stimulation when on top because she may need to lean on her hands for balance, or there may not be room for her fingers (they may get squished between your pelvic bones). If you have this problem, try doggy-style with her on her elbows and knees instead of on her hands and knees. Now her hands are free and there is plenty of room for them. Also, you can hold still and she can move back and forth, if the goal was for her to be the active partner.
Everyone says that masturbation makes it easier to come, but this is not the case for me. When I masturbate I quickly become dependent on the feeling of my own hands (or toy) and can't get off from sex anymore (bad thing!). That is my main reason for not doing it anymore, except once in a blue moon.
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