Stiltzkin

This may be extremely obvious to everyone here, but I just recently realized it.
People hook up with other people that are in an organization or some group of people. Let me explain by offering examples:
~I kinda knew this one girl who had many boyfriends, and all of them were co-workers from her job at a pizza place she used to work at.
~One of my friends was dating a girl he met as a co-worker when he worked at Best Buy.
~Band people in highschool usually date eachother exclusively.
~This girl I know is going out with some guy she met in church choir, and she is also in that choir.
~My friend who worked at a game retail company went out with one of his employees (yeah I know it's against the rules or whatever).

My point is that... people get together in groups, talk about the stuff related to that group (I guess), get to know eachother, and then go out.
I think dance clubs or whatever they are called, and bars, are condensed versions of this. For example, in a church choir, you don't just hook up with other people, you also sing. At Best Buy, you don't just hook up with people, you also work. But at clubs and bars, you just hook up (or be miserable and drink your woes away, if that's your intention).
But that's my point: most people hook up with people who have some kind of group/organization in common.

The reason why I say all this is because I'm almost 20 years old and I've never had a girlfriend in my life. Never done anything. No sex, no kissing. My whole sexual life is masturbation, a lap dance that I didn't even like all that much, and being hugged by some girl who thought I was cuddly but who didn't want to go out with me. Frankly, that's pretty crappy.

I'm not part of any organizations or anything; this is probably my problem.

As for me, however, I don't have time to join any organizations or anything, because of school+picking up my brothers from school. All these places are too damn far away and the commute takes a lot of my time away.

I hope this is helpful for other insanely lonely people out there who have time for organizations.

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visotech

You go to school? That seeems like a big enough organization to meet people at...so is the library, lectures, lab. Get out there and try to meet people, don't tell yourself your too busy, its always nice to make a friend even if it dosen't lead to anything.

ryborg

I have a very similar situation, so I can relate to what Stiltzkin has said. School is a good place to meet, but sometimes you'll have classes where there simply aren't any girls/boys you're interested in. If this is the case, you might try finding an organization, as you suggested, that you can meet some fresh, new faces at. Me? I'll just wait until the fall semester approaches...lots of lectures courses coming up

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lindseylatch

well, if you didn't meet them as part of a group, how would you meet them?? You don't just walk up to someone on the street and start a relationship...you have to have something that attracts you, and being in a group of some sort could be that link.

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slimshaydee

you lose all your inhibitions when you're drunk
try that.

bermuDa

getting involved in a group is a good way to MEET people; but i think it's how you act more than what group you are in that determines your success in finding sexual partners, since that seems to be your goal after reading your post.

So go join a club if you go to school, or get a job you lazy bum just be friendly and above all, yourself, and love (or just pussy) will find its way to you.

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Carno

Not everyone does.


I always used work as a way to meet girls.

boredom

Id use work to meet girls if the company wasnt made up of 95% of the males.
Using school is always good too, it just helps cuz its something thats in common.

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Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief.
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Burke and Major Dad.
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maleficent

Drunken men are a major turn off for me...

Drunken men think they are being oh so very charming when they are drunk, and have l ost all their inhibitions, when in reality, they are usually just obnoxious, sometimes they can be entertaining... but eh... not going home with me.

it makes sense that people would meet thru clubs and such because it's a mutual interest that would bring them together. so the chances of you meeting someone who shares that interests increase exponentially.

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cellophanedeity

I know it's hard. I hang around with a bunch of great guys, but only two of them have girlfriends, and I'm one of them.

I think their problem is that what they enjoy doing doesn't really involve too many females, at least not in our area. Magic the Gathering, RPGs, and videogames don't necissarily get you chicks.

But, I think there must be hope somewhere. Perhaps if you tried visiting other communities outside of where you have been, then your social circle will expand. The more your social circle expands, even if it's only on a "I recognize your face and maybe know your name" basis, it helps.

And just a word of advice, don't be too blunt or too shy. A nice medium ground is best. Don't say "Hey, wanna fuck" but don't just look at the person you're interested in all night. Give yourself a chance.

Good luck!

la petite moi

Since you're in school, definitely start talking to your classmates! People DO meet in groups, because otherwise you're just one person. But school is a group, like others have said on this thread.

This is what I've done this semester to make acquaintances/friends:
1) Smile and make eye contact with the person sitting next to you (a girl, in your case, if you want a relationship).
2) Make small talk before class when you feel the time is right (ask about an assignment, compliment style, etc.).
3.) Ask if she'd like to come over to study for the upcoming test, or meet in a cafe, etc. That way, you are doing schoolwork while getting to know someone.

I'm not sure if that helped, but if you seclude yourself, it's obvious you will not have contact with others. You have to meet someone and get to know them before you start a relationship with them.

pocon1

I met my wife in school. We failed english 104 together. first I tried talking to the girl in front of me, because her name was Amy Hole (I am serious). Then I started talking to the girl next to me (not all in one day). I complimented her on her watch (a cheap peugot). Then I started calling her for the homework asignments each night, and we would talk. Finally we started dating.

la petite moi

See, this is written proof my technique works.

Stiltzkin

All the advice/comments have been a lot better than I expected.
This isn't always true. In fact, for about 15 yrs of my life I thought it was normal to get to know a person by going out on dates, instead of getting to know them first and then going out on dates. And the reason why I believed this is because my dad told me that he met my mom at an advertising agency and the first day that he saw her, he just straight up asked her out and she said yes. My dad is a sign maker/painter and he was doing a job for this company, and my mom was the secretary at the time, so my dad just gathered up some courage and straight up just asked her out, and that was that. This whole thing if getting to know someone first and then dating them is something that I didn't come to know about until recently, as I've said before.

Also, at least three of the girls I've been interested in so far at school have all turned out to be married. I think I mentioned in a different thread somewhere on the TFP that UTEP (University of Texas at El Paso) is a largely Mexican university, and a lot us are poor. What a LOT of people will do is get married so they can get the benefits from the gov't, otherwise they could not afford to go to school and live on their own. As a result, massive amounts of people at my school are already married. And I actually found out that these three women were already married because I actually talked to them, and I also saw the huge diamonds on their finger (must mean some ppl are in debt and they haven't even finished college, but oh well). So it ain't that easy, at least not at this university.
Well most of my classes are in the morning, so I can't work mornings. I usually get out around 12PM (noon) every day and then three hours later I have to drive over to my brother's schools and pick them up. I tried getting a job at two places and I told them what my schedule is like and they both told me that the only shift they could offer me, with the schedule I have, is graveyard shift, 'cause they either need me to work mornings, or work from 2 or 3PM up until 8PM. As for the graveyard shift, I refuse to do that. I actually care about my health, and I am NOT going to sacrifice my health just so I can go to school and have a job. I know what it's like staying up late working on an essay until 5AM and then having to be in class at 7:30AM that same day. It really fucking sucks and I will NOT do it on a daily basis. I know there has to be a job for me out there somewhere, but for now I'm not looking. Plus, I worked this spring break on a contract basis for a company that my uncle works for. The thing is that I worked for my uncle two years ago, but then this other, bigger company bought his company, and they needed someone to program a new feature for their flagship product, and my uncle told them that I already have experience working with that system, so I got the job. I worked almost 80 hours that week! So it's not like I don't want to work; I do want to work. There is about a 95% chance I will be doing the same thing over the summer. So I'm working, just not during school. And this job doesn't really involve getting to meet people, since I'm just doing development.

And as far as making friends, I've actually made a lot of friends. Especially from labs, since they always assign us a group. I always get to know people in my lab groups really well. We sometimes have to go to eachother's houses to work on projects, which is cool. So I'm not really shutting myself out. Like I said, it isn't all that easy at this university to hook up with someone.
I'm like your friends. I'm bigtime into Final Fantasy XI, which is an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game). That is anti-sexy, I know. I'm also bigtime into Square-Enix RPGs in general. There's no local clubs that have anything to do with these games though, or at least none that I've found. I also enjoy reading a lot, but most of the books I've read are Robert A. Heinlein books and all the Harry Potter books. I bet anything if I joined some kind of book club, they'd want to talk about Emerson and all kinds of authors that I've never read. So I'm not sure how good a book club would be for me. I also used to work out every day at my university's gym. Sure, there are a lot of women there, but (and I kid you not) they always seem to come with an "escort"--a guy who "knows the ropes" around the gym. The only chick who I've seen who hasn't come with an escort was some lady who looks about twice my age.... and I worked out for a full year at this gym, almost every day. So it's not like I'm just sitting on my thumbs hoping that someone will fall into my lap.