txd

Hi all, sorry if this is not the right forum, just felt it was the one that fitted the best.

I'm really confused at the moment and don't know what to do. Recently I've been having these recurring dreams of a girl that I was very good friends with in school and havn't seen in close to ten years now. We were really good friends and did everything together and I counted her as a good friend. unfortunately at the end of school we had a small fall out and due to stubbornness on both our parts we sort of drifted apart.

The problem I've been having is that for days after these dreams I feel so lost, I am unable to sleep thinking about her and it is totally destroying me and I don't know why.

I have considered trying to contact her but not being that outgoing I would not know where to start. Also I have a girlfriend of 5 years and know that it would seem very odd to her if I was to start seeking out this girl from my past.

Our friendship was just that and was never sexual although if I was to be perfectly honest there was the odd bit of flirting back and forth.

Can anyone give me some input as to what I should do. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

cavu

go ahead and contact her if you need to, but i think that you should let it go, and enjoy the girlfriend that you have had for 5 years! Think if the tables were turned and she had a friend back from her old school days and she left you after 5 years to go look for some other guy.

Rlyss

There's no right or wrong answer here, I think. Some people might say 'Go for it, catch up with her and reminisce', and others might say 'Why dig up the past when you've got a partner right now?'

I think you should ask your girlfriend what she thinks first. If she's truly not comfortable with it after you've told her everything, including the odd bit of teenage flirting, then just think about what you've got now (a nice life, good girlfriend, good friends, etc.) and what you hope to achieve by seeking out this girl. Talk to your girlfriend about it, don't do it to get permission to seek this girl out, instead talk to your partner about it and discuss what might be going on.

I think I might be wrong in being this way, but I think just the fact that she's a female complicates things. If this was a guy friend from high school and you're wondering how he's getting along these days then there'd be no question about it, seek him out and catch up. But dreaming about a woman like that, remembering the flirting, etc. when you've got a girlfriend might be worrying to your girlfriend. She might be worried about what you're motives are, either consciously or subconsciously. I would if I was in her position but I'm a little more paranoid than most. On the one hand if you've got a void in your life you should be able to grab your girlfriend's hand and you both go off and try to make it right together, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that digging up the past is a abd idea.

But to be honest I'm not even convinced what I've written here is the right thing to do. I can see the other side of every argument (she's a girl so don't be thinking about others, but she's just a high school buddy, but you guys flirted, but it was just silly teenage stuff, etc.) so I guess I'm more just thinking out loud than giving you some definitive advice.

I'd love to see what other people recommend though, this is a tough one...

jaypc2

seek her out... sounds to me like you're just missing an old friend from when you were in school. If i were in your shoes i would seek her out, but also tell my girlfriend of five years what i was doing. I mean she's been your girlfriend for 5 years i dont think you wanting to find out what's happened to an old friend from school is going to tear your relationship to the ground i mean you were, as you said, Just Friends and nothing more. and as far as the flirting goes... she's a girl your a guy thats what opposite sexes do they flirt... but thats just one mans opinion

best of luck to you though

__________________
Zero Cool
stay sexy

Coll Storm

This is what I think. If you're dreaming of her ( and you are ) then that probably means that your subconscious is very unhappy and unsettled about your past. You've probably been supressing it for the longest time and now your mind if finally telling you so, even if you don't like what you're hearing.

Contacting her is up to you, but you better expect more dreams if you don't settle the issue soon. If this girl was important to you, then you really should think about this issue, before you start feeling sick over it.

SpikeQX99

I did the exact thing a year or so ago. I found her email address thru an online alumni thing and emailed her to see what was going on. Come to find out she still lived in the area, so we got together one day and had coffee and just caught up on things. That was the last time I heard from her. I'd sent her an email a couple days after seeing if maybe she wanted to hang out again, and they all fell on dead ears I guess.

I was kinda bummed for a while, thinking that I'd done something wrong or whatever, but it passed. Just kinda weird I guess...

I say go for it. If you guys were just friends then why not talk and mend fences and catch up on old times?? It couldn't hurt and the most that she could say is "NO".. And since you've not seen her in years, it's not like you are out anything if she turns the invite down. At least you could say that you tried.

__________________
I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

bubbagump

You say that you aren't interested in her, since you have a girlfriend. If thats the case, I don't think theres any harm in just looking her up. Just make sure your girlfriend doesn't feel threatened by this.

__________________
s3x p1z

Sweetpea

Are you unhappy with your present situation, life or GF or anything? Truly, be honest with yourself on this one . . . Being stuck in the past consciously or subconsciously is a way of avoiding and not looking at the present moment. That being said ............. if you really feel moved deep down to get into contact with this old friend, than do it man! life is short and you don't want regrets.

__________________
Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

txd

Thank you all for the feedback. Odly enough someone else from my past got in touch in the last few days by email.... I am thinking at this stage I will contact her but at the moment I am getting cold feet as I only have her parents number and feel sort of odd calling them up asking them for contact details, another option I have would be to physically call to their house but not knowing them all that well it might not be the best I'll just have to work on that :/