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Rlyss · 01-01-2005, 02:58 PM

There's no right or wrong answer here, I think. Some people might say 'Go for it, catch up with her and reminisce', and others might say 'Why dig up the past when you've got a partner right now?'

I think you should ask your girlfriend what she thinks first. If she's truly not comfortable with it after you've told her everything, including the odd bit of teenage flirting, then just think about what you've got now (a nice life, good girlfriend, good friends, etc.) and what you hope to achieve by seeking out this girl. Talk to your girlfriend about it, don't do it to get permission to seek this girl out, instead talk to your partner about it and discuss what might be going on.

I think I might be wrong in being this way, but I think just the fact that she's a female complicates things. If this was a guy friend from high school and you're wondering how he's getting along these days then there'd be no question about it, seek him out and catch up. But dreaming about a woman like that, remembering the flirting, etc. when you've got a girlfriend might be worrying to your girlfriend. She might be worried about what you're motives are, either consciously or subconsciously. I would if I was in her position but I'm a little more paranoid than most. On the one hand if you've got a void in your life you should be able to grab your girlfriend's hand and you both go off and try to make it right together, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that digging up the past is a abd idea.

But to be honest I'm not even convinced what I've written here is the right thing to do. I can see the other side of every argument (she's a girl so don't be thinking about others, but she's just a high school buddy, but you guys flirted, but it was just silly teenage stuff, etc.) so I guess I'm more just thinking out loud than giving you some definitive advice.

I'd love to see what other people recommend though, this is a tough one...

01-01-2005, 02:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	There's no right or wrong answer here, I think. Some people might say 'Go for it, catch up with her and reminisce', and others might say 'Why dig up the past when you've got a partner right now?' I think you should ask your girlfriend what she thinks first. If she's truly not comfortable with it after you've told her everything, including the odd bit of teenage flirting, then just think about what you've got now (a nice life, good girlfriend, good friends, etc.) and what you hope to achieve by seeking out this girl. Talk to your girlfriend about it, don't do it to get permission to seek this girl out, instead talk to your partner about it and discuss what might be going on. I think I might be wrong in being this way, but I think just the fact that she's a female complicates things. If this was a guy friend from high school and you're wondering how he's getting along these days then there'd be no question about it, seek him out and catch up. But dreaming about a woman like that, remembering the flirting, etc. when you've got a girlfriend might be worrying to your girlfriend. She might be worried about what you're motives are, either consciously or subconsciously. I would if I was in her position but I'm a little more paranoid than most. On the one hand if you've got a void in your life you should be able to grab your girlfriend's hand and you both go off and try to make it right together, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that digging up the past is a abd idea. But to be honest I'm not even convinced what I've written here is the right thing to do. I can see the other side of every argument (she's a girl so don't be thinking about others, but she's just a high school buddy, but you guys flirted, but it was just silly teenage stuff, etc.) so I guess I'm more just thinking out loud than giving you some definitive advice. I'd love to see what other people recommend though, this is a tough one...