fallenangel

I love my best friend. Not only do I love him, but I'm IN love with him as well.

My best friend is also my ex.

My best friend is also the person i've inflicted more pain on than anyone else in the world. He is also the person who has inflicted more pain in ME than anyone else in the world. Why, you may ask, I'm really not so sure. All I know is that somewhere along the way, I lost my innocence (not what you're thinking), and I lost some respect for myself. And I stopped being the best I could for him.

We've both managed to inflict considerable amount of pain on each other throughout the last year, and I just can't do it anymore. I honestly don't know how it started, or what led to which action, but I know that it can't happen anymore.

There are issues that still need to be worked out, and I'm finally at a place where i'm willing to start working on fixing things again.

If they cannot be fixed in the forseeable future then I only ask one thing. Let me let go. That's it. I refuse to play these games anymore, and I refuse to continue to allow myself to be hurt and cause hurt.

Tonight was horrid. I would rather hurt for both of us than do what we've been doing.

Please don't laugh, or say I'm being too dramatic, I just want results now. Or at least to be pointed in a direction.

Either way, I'll do what I can to make the best out of things.

Disclaimer: There's a high chance that I might regret this all tomorrow, as it's now 4:45 am my time and i'm heading in to a significant hangover day.

I figure, now is as good of a time as any to start off a new year with some truth for once in a long time between us.

If any of you out there have some advice for me I'd appreciate it one way or another.

My question/topic for everyone else... Do you believe in second chances, or are they a waste of everyone's time involved?

__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

The Prophet

Second chances are very much worth the effort. Think of the history and what you know of each other. That can be a very strong foundation for a loving and lasting relationship once you get through your problems. It all leads to a greater understanding of each other and gives the two of you a common experience that only you share.

The party is always better, if the work is done first.

__________________
"The death-knell of the republic had rung as soon as the active power became lodged in the hands of those who sought, not to do justice to all citizens, rich and poor alike, but to stand for one special class and for its interests as opposed to the interests of others. " - Theodore Roosevelt

maleficent

Second chances can work if both parties can forget what happened in the past, of if not forget the past, accept it and move on from it. Otherwise at some point in the relationship, often during a disagreement, the past gets brought up by someone and all that pain gets revisited.

If you want this to work... talk thru everything first... Don't hold back... and he should do the same... and at that point decide if you can make it work or not.

__________________

fhqwhgads

"What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?"

I wish that I had an answer for you Fallen... sometimes the best solution is to step away. It is in the absence that we start to understand what a person really means to us, and what we mean to them.

Best of luck to you sweetheart.

fallenangel

"Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience"

__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

Sweetpea

Second chances are not nessasarily a bad thing. That being said.............................Would giving him a second chance be repeating a bad cycle that you have been stuck in??
Or would it be benefical and positive now that you (or both of you?) are in a place where you could make it work and bring happiness for both of you??

People come to a cross roads when they have to decide to give another person a second chance. You know deep down if it will be a positive thing or not, if it's not, then move on immediately and spare yourself the pain. . . But IF you feel it will be positive for your life, then give him that second chance . . . cautiously gaurd your heart/emotions, take things slow, and be really honest. Second chances Have to start with total honesty, through honesty is the only way they can succeed, totally rebuild a new foundation for yourselves, leave the past in the past and truly start fresh, a new beginning . . . i know from experience and we've been married for 3 years now.

Good luck And no matter what, Be True to Yourself . . . . . Life is a crazy thing sometimes, i wish it weren't so.

__________________
Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

Vincentt

I hate regret. I don't want to feel regret, and I don't think anyone does.
And we all regret what we don't do, more then what we do.
So give it another shot, if it fails, move on knowing that you did what you could.
You don't want to think for the rest of your life "what if..".

Konichiwaneko

You reached a higher level of emotions with him (both good and bad) that isn't easily obtainable from anyone or everywhere. Because of this, the posistion you are in is very understandable one.

The simple thing is to make sure you are not deluding yourself. Emotions lead to great things, but also to some pretty major mistakes. If he is still your best friend, that could be a thousand times better then being your lover.

Then again the reverse could be true. Pretty much all I could recommend is to think over it and within paint a scenario from what you know and how you feel and reflect upon that.


If it helps you I fell in love with my best friend, we had a powerful and stunning relationship. Eventually time passed and I broke her heart more then she broke mine(Never any fights, just a bad decision on my part after she moved. I ended the relationship because I was alone and weak), and even today 4 years after we've broken up I regret it. Worst part is I don't tell any girl I've date afterwards but for some reason they can tell a part of me, I can say a large part of me, misses Katt.

Why didn't I persue her? Well she only just last year sent me a "I'm dead to you email" after I just said hello to her on her birthday. Like I always did everyyear. I've come to realize then I now I'm in love and infatuated with the memory of the moment, and that I can't persue the person or venue so long after the fact. Those memories are what's most dear to us, and one day... one day those memories will sit with others from someone or something new and glorious.



On another note I do admit from your picture you smile like someone who'se mind is free from this scenario.

__________________

God of Thunder

Best quote of a Guns N' Roses song I've ever seen.

No advice...wish I had some for you. All I can say is that the wife and I went through a small bump in the relationship a few years back. Nothing like what you are describing, but we made it through.

My best friend left his wife almost a year ago. They are still working things through. She wants things to get better...he doesn't. Don't know what will happen. I'm pulling for them, but I don't hold out much hope.

All I can say is what others already have. It will only work if both of you want it.

__________________
I reject your reality, and substitute my own

-- Adam Savage

Cimarron29414

In principle, I believe in second chances, as long as lessons were learned to prevent the first mistake from happening again.

You didn't give us much to go on here, so I can't tell you what you should do. You have to ask yourself why you chose to hurt him so much this year? Don't focus on what he did to you because you can't change that, all you can change is you. So, why did you hurt him? When you know that, you will know whether to take a second chance.

countingsheep

mmm second chances... i believe 2nd chances might not be for everyone or every situation, it really depends on how bad the damage is, or has been done. it also depends on how much you care and how much you're willing to go through for this person.

the boyfriend i have now, i gave him several chances, he effed up pretty bad too. he said he wanted to be with me, then it ended up that he ending up going for my friend. he was fooling around with both of us too, when we both would question him about it, he would say all he did was kiss us goodnight, but when we spoke to eachother, we found out the real story behind all the lies he's been telling us. to be honest 99% of all the guys out there would cheat if they thought they could get away with it. i treated him very well also, i bought him a rose and bought it to his door, i randomly bought him a CD that i knew he'd like. and he did nothing for me. maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic. but he hurt me bad, he ended up getting with my friend and breaking my heart, he said "i like you, but i don't want to go out with you" yet his actions before proved otherwise. so they dated, and she cheated on him, he was hurt, then he comes back to me and apologizes for hurting me and says he knows exactly how i feel. I KNOW a lot of people wouldn't have taken him back, to be honest, i'm not quite sure why i did, i can admit i was whipped at first, but when he came back, it was totally in my hands. and i took him back. i always thought if it was meant to be, he'd choose me over her, but he didn't. well i guess i took him back because he learned his lesson... and i felt so strongly for him that if i got hurt again, then i would know it'd be my fault now, because it was my choice to take him back.

i went through some hanous BS and i ended up with him. in truth 2nd chances are only if you're willing to put the effort into it, and if you truly believe it'll be worth it at the end.
when i sit back and think of everything i went through, i just hope he could make up for everything. so it's also about trust.

__________________
lick it before you stick it