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Second Chances...
I love my best friend. Not only do I love him, but I'm IN love with him as well.
My best friend is also my ex.
My best friend is also the person i've inflicted more pain on than anyone else in the world. He is also the person who has inflicted more pain in ME than anyone else in the world. Why, you may ask, I'm really not so sure. All I know is that somewhere along the way, I lost my innocence (not what you're thinking), and I lost some respect for myself. And I stopped being the best I could for him.
We've both managed to inflict considerable amount of pain on each other throughout the last year, and I just can't do it anymore. I honestly don't know how it started, or what led to which action, but I know that it can't happen anymore.
There are issues that still need to be worked out, and I'm finally at a place where i'm willing to start working on fixing things again.
If they cannot be fixed in the forseeable future then I only ask one thing. Let me let go. That's it. I refuse to play these games anymore, and I refuse to continue to allow myself to be hurt and cause hurt.
Tonight was horrid. I would rather hurt for both of us than do what we've been doing.
Please don't laugh, or say I'm being too dramatic, I just want results now. Or at least to be pointed in a direction.
Either way, I'll do what I can to make the best out of things.
Disclaimer: There's a high chance that I might regret this all tomorrow, as it's now 4:45 am my time and i'm heading in to a significant hangover day.
I figure, now is as good of a time as any to start off a new year with some truth for once in a long time between us.
If any of you out there have some advice for me I'd appreciate it one way or another.
My question/topic for everyone else... Do you believe in second chances, or are they a waste of everyone's time involved?
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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you
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