BBtB

Okay, I had ALMOST finished this when my computer reset. This is the second time writing this. Hold on..

Before I get to my real question(s) I am going to give you all a little background on Katie and I. Our parents knew each other before we were born. She lived in Missouri untill she about 6 when she moved to Oklahoma with her family. They were often at our house because our moms were good friends and we had a farm. Life being funny and all that they (her family that is) ended up moving in with us for about 6 months. This was when she was about 9 or 10(Also I am a year older then her, just FYI because I keep giving these references in her age) Eventully her mom got back on her feet and moved back out but we (as two familys) stayed close for the next few years. At some point in all this she became my second real crush. Well as the only true constant in this world is time slowly the days passed into weeks then into months then into years. All that time I kept my feelings to myself as the fluctated from puppy love to .. something (because I dunno if I believe in true love but that is a topic for another time) back to puppy love. Then when I was around 14(ish) I finally got up the nerve to ask her out. I was shot down but hard. I remember I found a seculded place and cried for several hours. That was,as these things often are, the most tramatic experince in my short little love life. I never truely got over it. It is (part) of the reason I have only had 2 girlfriends. Of course I have only really asked out about 4 girls. To have a 50% yes ratio is quite good but relationship related things knows no logic. Well it was hard but I (thought I) got over her. I kept my mind busy with movies and (a few) other girls. Thinking of her often and comparing every girl I ever meet to her even though I don't often realize I even did it till later. Well I could go on like this awhile longer. I could make this about 3 times as long but none of it is important to my question (although it DOES help me a bit)

My question is basically this. It is incredibly hard for me to ask girls out. When I do my mouth does the cotton thing, my heart does some funky ass shit and just.. yea. My mind goes fluh. Of course with a girl who IS my holy grail and who has rejected me once before it is 100 times harder. I HAVE to ask her out. And time is ticking. She is going to college at the end of the summer (although there IS an outside chance I will go to the same college. I have to ask her out before she leaves ATLEAST) So any advice on how to soften the blow or whatever?

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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"

XenuHubbard

Wish there was a formula for this type of stuff, but the only advice I can give is "be an asshole". Not meaning treating people in a bad way, but just remembering that what they think of you doesn't matter.

Care what people think, but don't give a damn what they think of you. Go and ask her out. If you don't, the result is the same as YOU BEING REJECTED. Which means, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.

Go. If you don't, I will send my demolition army of hamsters to your house and blow up your bathroom.

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The above was written by a true prophet. Trust me.

"What doesn't kill you, makes you bitter and paranoid". - SB2000

Slims

write her a nice note and hand it to her. You can't screw that up.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Meridae'n

From my experience every bloke walk around thinking about 'the one that got away'. With me it's the girl i was with for 4 years but didn't follow when she moved. For others, like you, it's the girl you grew up with but never happened. It's a constant thats going to stay in your heart, either your push it to the darkest spare room you have in there, or you let it haunt you and hurt you. If you haven't got together yet, theres probably a good reason, just make sure the next time you meet a girl that gets inside your heart, you go for it...

You say that there is a chance that you could go to the same college as her? My advice: don't. She's going to be going to experience life, and sorry to say it, that's probably only going to involve you in a friendship role, at best. That's the way shit goes mate, that's why there's millions of them and not just one.

As XenuHubbard said, the worst that can happen if you put the hard word on her is rejection, which is pretty much the same position you're in already. It'll take a lot less time to get over her rejecting you than it will you regretting never asking her. Anyway, time's a great healer, and even if you do get rejected, it's all for your own growth bro. Bite the bullet and ask her out, if she says no, then fuck it, go out and meet more girls. There's one walking around with your name on her and it's a lot of fun trying to find her... especially when you're at college

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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

ratbastid

You know what I'd try if I were you? I'd try opening with how nervous you are. What if you started by admitting you're all in a twist about it? You'd get her on your side, for sure. Even if she says no, it'll be a completely different conversation from the standard "ya wanna go out?" thing we always do.

You know, it's one of those "if all else fails try telling the truth" deals.

BBtB

I have actully done that and screwed it up before. Not with her I mean with another girl but still.

__________________
Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"

rogue49

Just say it.
Say Anything.

Express your interest, because left unsaid nothing happens.
It's like the lottery...
To win it, you have to play it.

And even though I'm a big flirt and a good bullshit artist,
When it actually comes down to ASKING,
I am terrible at it...I always wait to long and the moment passes
Or I screw up because I just blurt.
My anxiousness and anxiety gets the best of me.
Maybe this is why I get with ladies who approach me more often.

You need to interact.
You need to just put yourself out there.
And yes, you might get shot down,
Then again, you might not.
But how will you know, if you don't try.

Just talk with her, let it build, keep it casual, and then invite her to something simple.
Don't make it sudden, over dramatic, or extravagant.

When it does happen well for me, it happens just that way.
Anything else I've built up in my mind always backfires.
Just keep it cool, and try.

Antagony

Write a note?? I think you're more likely to offend a girl with something like that. Not to mention that it's a bit . . . creepy. I believe you'll be much more likely to impress her if you gather up the nerve to go up and speak to her.

Piggy-backing off ratbastid, it may be a good idea to explain to her that you are nervous. One purpose that serves is to give her a bit of warning. Sort of an indirect way of letting her know how you feel about her.

Now piggy-backing off rogue49, don't waste your time coming up with extravagant plans or anything like that. If you make a plan, you're almost guaranteed to mess the plan up. Just work toward a goal, that being getting her phone number or giving her an invitation to whatever.

Always keep in mind that "messing it up" is rarely an awful experience. What have you got to lose?

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On the outside I'm jazz, but my soul is rock and roll.

Sleep is a waste of time. Join the Insomniac Club.
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Lebell

Be yourself. You don't want a woman to fall in love with someone else (i.e. the image you present and not the real you.)

If you're successful, you will eventually learn the two words every successfully married man learns: Yes, dear.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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Eviltree

shit man, that is almost exactly the same as my sad little tale. 9th grade: I asked out this girl that I had a crush on since I first saw her. She dumped me several days later. I couldn't get over it. She moved away that summer, but I thought 'at least I tried' I was sad and shit, but not nearly as sad as I would've been had I not given it a try. So, the moral of my sad little tale is that: its better to regret stuff you did, than stuff you didn't (most of the time)

gibber71

When I just turned 18 this hot,hot chick transfered to my school.She was the hottest girl in the school.Every guy and girl knew of her the first day.After about a month of listening to all the jocks and their bravado,I thought to myself,I'm going to pretend to be someone else for 5 minutes and ask her out. I stopped her in the hallway,introduced myself and responded she knew my name.I couldn't believe it. I asked her if she wanted to see a show and she said sure.We dated for 2 years,split up and she is still one of my best friends 20 years later. I can't remember who I was pretending to be.

oblar

that is an awesome story gibber glad it worked out for you..

i lost one as well.. who coincidentally is also named Katie We were friends starting my freshman year in highschool. We grew closer and closer, till eventually I basically asked her out my junior year..

suffice to say, religious differences strike again!... she told me she might have a year ago, but not then and the following year we barely spoke to one another..

even now our friendship is a bit strained because I still have feelings for her, and she knows it..

although, as Meridian said.. You can't let one person keep you down.. If someone doesn't want to be with you, they won't.. Move on, date others, try not to think about them..

you will be better off and actually end up having a couple of happy moments.

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"All that we can do is just survive.
.All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

Not_You

When I get nervous around girls I usually start drinking. When I wake up in the morning there is usually a girl in my bed, not always the one I wanted to be there, but a girl none the less. - honestly..

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Who stole the ham?

XenuHubbard

Are you saying he should get piss drunk and go over and knock on her door, going; "I love you. No man, I LOOOOVE you. Let's go to deee... moovies".

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The above was written by a true prophet. Trust me.

"What doesn't kill you, makes you bitter and paranoid". - SB2000